Time to heal
by Lycka
Summary: * AU modern days * Some things are not easy to forget and some people took the wrong path to get over it and destroy everything around them. Is it possible to make amends and become stronger after it? *Gaara/Naruto* *Dark Theme but Happy End in the end*
1. Life is just fine

**Titre** : Time to heal  
 **Pairing:** Gaara/Naruto, Temari/Sakura  
 **Rating** : M  
 **Disclaimer** : nothing's mine.

 **AN** : It's the first time in a long time I wrote a fanfic on Naruto. It's quite dark. But I promise everything will be alright in the end and everybody will be as cute as a kitty :)

* * *

Time to heal

*'*

 _Chapter one: Life is just fine_

*'*

"Are you sure you okay? You seem thiner. When was the last time you ate something consistent?"

"A few hours ago. With Naruto."

"Hm. You still look like a ghost though. You don't take care of yourself enough."

"Temari." Gaara's voice was inviting her to keep quiet.

"Fine, fine. You should go home early today. We already did the biggest project today. Enjoy your evening. Pick up Naruto at work, go to a restaurant and make sweet love to him all night long..."

"Temari. Why don't you go say these things to Sakura?" the voice was less patient now.

"You're so shy! That's why I adore making fun of you. It's so easy! Okay, okay, I'll leave you be. You don't scare me with this look, though." Temari chuckled before leaving her brother's office.

Gaara was relieved when Temari was finally gone. It was still the same non sense everyday. She would talk to him about embarrassing things, sticking her nose in his private life and teased him about his sex life. It annoyed him a lot. It wasn't easy to work with Temari and Kankuro everyday.

For years they didn't get along. It was more Temari and Kankuro who couldn't. Life with their father was a hell of a ride and things settled down after the death of that asshole. The three of them picked up the torch of the empire Rasa build and things were more and more easy between the three of them. Even though his older sister was a real pain.

She was right on one point though.

Everything he was supposed to do today was done. And the possibility of spending more time with Naruto was a very good idea.

 _I swear to God, one day I will kill one of those kids._

The text made Gaara smiled.

 _ **You know you can't. When do you finish work today?**_

 _In two hours, why?_

 _ **I'll pick you up**_

 _Really? I can't wait... :) What about ramen right after?_

 _ **Naruto, it will not be dinner time.**_

 _That's okay, I'm talking about Ramen time. It's not the same thing._

A tender expression crossed Gaara's face.

He and Naruto met when they were in college. Gaara was studying economics as he was to take up the reins of his father's company and Naruto was here to become a law teacher. His grand parents were famous in their branch and he didn't want to disappoint them. He admitted that he wanted to become the dean of the university to prove his value. A great dream for a great person.

They clicked right away. Gaara wasn't the most talkative guy in the universe but Naruto was able to talk for two. And it still was accurate. Gaara fell in love fast and hard. It never happened to him and it scared him at first. Relationships, in a romantic or family way, were a strange thing for him. At the time, he, Temari and Kankuro weren't as close as they were today. If he could say they were close now. So he kept him for himself. Being able to see and talk to the blond everyday was enough.

Naruto wasn't at ease with his sexuality. He told Gaara he was gay when one night, Gaara walked on him and some guy. They were naked, one topping the other, he didn't need more hint to understand. The blond was scared at first that Gaara was going to tell everyone. It hurt the red head a little that his friend didn't trust him enough to know he didn't care at all.

The incident got them closer. They were inseparable even after their graduation. They stayed in contact but for a few years they rarely saw each other. Finally, two years ago, after a terrible break up, the two young men kissed. Quickly after, they met again, kissed again and slept together. It was the first time Gaara was that intimate with someone and he didn't know how to react at first. Naruto was very patient with him and he had more confidence today.

 _I'm really happy we have the whole evening and night for us... 3_

Gaara's heart skipped a beat.

*'*

"Aaaaah eating feels so good!"

"You still have a noodle on your cheek."

"Really? Thanks!" Naruto took the poor noodle and ate it right away with stars in his eyes.

"You're really not fit to be seen in public."

"That's a part of my charm."

To that, Gaara couldn't say no.

"So, I'll pay tonight!" Naruto smiled widely.

"No, you won't."

"Gaara, I can..."

Naruto couldn't finish his sentence, Gaara already gave his card to the waiter. With some anger, the blond got himself out of the restaurant.

"Are you mad at me?" Gaara asked once he was outside.

"No." Naruto answered and started walking without looking at him.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"So why are you so distant?"

"Why are you so talkative tonight? It's usually my job", Naruto responded with a hint of annoyance.

Gaara didn't say anything else and stared away. Night was falling fast now and it was already dark. The street lamp was bright and hurting his eyes and he glanced at Naruto. His lover was still pouting, hands in his pocket, half of his face buried in his scarf, looking everywhere but towards the red head.

"You're really cute when you're angry."

"Don't think you will have me with charming words. You always do that and I don't like it. You know that."

"What should I do to make amends?"

"You need to find it by yourself, don't think I'm going to make the job easier."

"I think about something but for that we need to go to my apartment."

Naruto blushed at the innuendo and was mute for awhile. It was not fair his lover could have him that easely. He stopped walking and stuttered incoherent things about the street not being a place of saying such things and what if somebody had heard what Gaara said and what if...

He was interrupted by the red head who pushed him in a small and poorly lit perpendicular alley and kissed him hard on the mouth. Naruto moaned loudly, forgetting where they were and wrapped his arms around Gaara, bringing their bodies closer.

"Hey, no! Not... Not here!" Naruto blushed, trying to see if anybody caught them.

"What about my place?"

"O-okay... Wait did you plan it since the beginning?"

"I'm not like that."

"You little..." Naruto smiled anyway, bringing them back in the main street and walked ahead.

"Naruto."

"Yes?"

"It's not the right direction." Gaara said.

"What didn't you say something earlier?!"

*'*

"Hng, Gaara..."

Naruto dug his nails into the pillow. Gaara's mouth felt so good on his dick. He was sucking him hard and fast and Naruto could feel his orgasm getting close.

He groaned when everything stopped, making him glare at his red head.

"Not now. I want to be inside you." Gaara whispered, his voice darkened by desire, in his ear and he shivered of anticipation.

The red head licked his ear lobe, making him gasp before pulling apart to get some lube.

Soon, a cold finger gently pushed into his body. The sensation was strange until it brushed a specific spot inside of him, making him moan and arch his back in pleasure. A second finger joined, scissoring him gently.

Gaara was delighted by what he was seeing. Naruto was so cute and desirable he could just come right away but he wanted to make his lover scream.

A third finger entered the blond which made him go crazy. He needed more.

"Gaara, please... Please just fuck me."

With a growled, Gaara withdrew his fingers and replaced them with his dick. He pushed gently inside, making sure he didn't hurt his lover.

"Fuck me hard. Now."

And Gaara obeyed without hesitation.

"God, yes..."

The red head's movements were deep and precise. He hit Naruto's prostate every time. He wanted to be gentle but he was never able to do it with the blond. He had always commend him like this. It was never soft and full of sweet emotions. It was rough, needy and orgasmic.

The tightness around his cock was too good and he knew he was reaching his limits. The movements were frantic. Naruto started to touch himself, in his own world. Gaara's nails dug deeper into Naruto's wrist who didn't seem to mind as he was just moaning more and more.

"Yes... Fuck, yes... Yes! Aaaaah"

Naruto came hard. It was so powerful that some tears dropped from Naruto's eyes.

"Naruto... Fuck... Naru... Hnnn"

Gaara emptied himself inside Naruto's ass, biting his lips hard. He collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily.

"God it was good..." Naruto smiled, his arms surrounding Gaara.

Gaara's straightened himself up a little to be able to reach Naruto's lips. He kissed him softly, caressing his hair. Sex with Naruto was more than good but he often wish they didn't just fuck. He wanted to make love to him but the blond was never in the mood for something gentler. He wanted it rough and mind blowing. Sometimes it made Gaara feel strangely sad but he never talked about it.

They took a shower together and they mostly just kissed, not able to keep their hands for themselves. Soon, their body began reacting again.

"What about a second round?" Gaara asked caressing Naruto's perfect backside.

"As if I'm going to say no when all I think about is how hard you are and how good it will feel to have you in me once again..." Naruto had such a dirty mouth when he came to sex and it pleased Gaara a lot.

"I can do it all night long with you."

It strangely reminded him of Temari.

"Something's wrong?" Naruto asked when he saw the weird look on his lover's face.

"No, just a weird thought. I'm fine."

It wasn't the right moment to think about his sister.

*'*

"I don't want to go... I want to stay here with you, under the blanket, naked all day..." Naruto winked at the red head, a mischievous expression on his face.

"But you can't."

"You're not funny Gaara", Naruto pouted wrapping himself in the blanket.

Gaara smiled and kissed his blond on the forehead. He didn't want him to go neither. He wanted to keep Naruto for himself the whole week-end and the weeks after that. But for the time being, his lover needed to get ready and see his family for the week end. To tell nothing about Gaara.

Naruto was still in the closet and he wasn't ready to tell the world. Gaara never showed him how much it affected him. He was in love with Naruto and he never told him. He wasn't sure the feelings were mutual and he didn't want to lose what they already had by scaring him away.

"I'm going to the shower. Wanna come with me?" Naruto tried once more.

"Naruto."

"Okay, okay! Humph"

Gaara saw his lover closing the door of his bathroom and he took advantage of the opportunity to wrapped himself in the blanket and put himself in fetal position. He hadn't slept much last night and numerous nights before and he as just so sleepy...

Naruto's shower passed in the blink of an eye and he woke up when the blond started tickling him to wake him up.

"St-stop!"

"So get up, you lazy ass! I have to go and I want to kiss you goodbye!"

"Okay, but j-just stop it!"

The torture finally stopped and Gaara stared dangerously at his lover who didn't feel impressed at all, smiling widely, very proud of himself.

"So, I will be pretty busy this week, it's going to be hard to see each other before Friday night..."

Naruto was standing next to the door, a sad expression on his face and Gaara was still wrapped in his blanket, too lazy to dress up.

"I'm going to miss you..."

"It's just a week. I will not go anywhere. It's nothing", Gaara said with no expression, as if it didn't touch him.

"I know! It's not... You're such an ass when you're like that! Wait, are you making fun of me?" Naruto asked when a spark of amusement passed in Gaara's eyes.

"It's so easy."

"You're really are an ass... And your humor sucks."

Nonetheless, Naruto leaned for a quick kiss.

"So, text me, okay?"

"You know I will... What are you doing?" Gaara frowned his nonexistent eyebrows when he felt the blanket fell at his feet. He was now naked and very cold.

"Well, I will not see you like this at least for a whole week. I want to remember you like this", Naruto grinned.

"Your memory is that bad?"

"Yes. Maybe some photos will help me too during the week."

"Are you an horny teenager?"

"When I'm with you, yes. Completely."

He kissed his red head one more time, gave him one last appreciative look and he was gone.

Gaara picked up his blanket, grumbling and quickly went back to bed. He passed out in a second, exhausted.

*'*

 _"Die"_

 _He screamed. His lungs were hurting so much by the shout but he couldn't help it._

 _"Dad, please, stop!"_

 _"You shut the fuck up"_

 _He heard a high pitched scream but he wasn't his. It came from a girl, a terrified girl._

 _"It is all your fault. You should have died"_

Gaara woke up screaming.

He was sweating, his body and mind were blurred. It took him several seconds to remind himself where he was and that he was alone. His heart was racing as if he had run a marathon and he was feeling sick.

He quickly ran into his bathroom and threw up.

He had more and more nightmares about his father lately. Since this bastard died three years ago, it was getting worse and worse. He never had a night of rest. The shadow of his father was still here. And he didn't know how to cope with it.

He flushed the toilet and sat still on the cold floor of his bathroom for a while. He then decided a shower would do him good and the warm water running on his body was heaven.

He got back to his room and lie back into his bed. He started feeling anxious, angry and frightened again ad he was alone. Naruto's presence was comforting but he will have to wait for days before having him back. He couldn't just go to Temari's house. She and Sakura loved spending times together, with nobody around. And his sister was so happy since she met the pink headed woman, he didn't want to disturbed them. Kankuro was most certainly with friends now or doing sports. Or something. His brother was always doing something. With a happiness that Gaara found unbearable.

He wasn't a child anymore, he could take care of himself.

Without thinking, one of his hands opened the drawer of his nightstand and he took off the false bottom. He looked at the little crystal inside the bag.

It was his dirty little secret. He didn't remember when he has started using some of this substance. He was sure it was in college. With some "friends" in parties he didn't like to go. It made it easier to be there and it made his mind so peaceful. It was recreational. It still was. He just was taking it a little more than usual since six month.

Of course, Naruto didn't know. His siblings neither. He was sure if he told them, they will fight and they would lectured him. He knew what he was doing and it was good for the company. Most of the time he was getting high with Kabuto, the vice president of one of the biggest company in the city. Thanks to it, a lot of big contract had been sign between his company and Orochimaru's. And everyone wanted to be in good terms with Orochimaru.

So far, he never took it on his own. But it was so tempting now. He knew he would feel better after that. No Rasa in his mind anymore, no sadness about Naruto being ashamed of him, no anger towards his sister and brother... The world will be bright and not so scary anymore...

He took a little crystal and went to his kitchen. He smashed till the crystal was a thin powder. He could have take it without doing it but he would have waited too long before it will get him high and he didn't wanted to be okay in one hour. He wanted to be fine now.

He then went to his living room and the powder became a thin line. He leaned his nose and inhale. He let out a little scream. It hurt real bad that way. But he knew it was worth the pain.

Gaara moaned softly when the euphoria exploded inside of him. Finally, everything bad was going away.

* * *

 **So. The first chapter is here. It's really a chapter to set things up. How Naruto and Gaara are together (I wasn't planning the sex scene in the first place but it made sense. It's a huge part of many relationship), the relation between the Sand siblings, how Rasa was a piece of... And Gaara isn't really nice after all... But Naruto is a cutie.**

 **So will Naruto find out? When will Kankuro appear?**

 **Tell me what you think!**

 **Hope you all liked it and see you soon :)**


	2. Everything is perfect

_Chapter 2: Everything is perfect_

*'*

"Are you and Naruto free this week end?"

Gaara looked up at his sister with annoyance. He had to be with her from Monday up to Friday, why did he have to put up with her and her girlfriend?

"Kankuro will be there too. It's been a long time we didn't spend time together. I mean, outside of work. It will be nice, I promise. You can stay the week-end. You and Naruto will have you own room."

"Okay."

"Really? I'm so happy, I was sure you will just say "no"", Temari said trying to impersonate him with his flat tone and his inexpressive face. She did quite a good job.

Gaara didn't want to go but he was certain Sakura asked Naruto and that his lover already said yes. He and Sakura were childhood friends and Naruto loved her to the core. The blond had a huge crush on her on his young days. The only woman he ever loved, Naruto often said to him with a bright happy smile. He always hoped that one day, he will be the one bringing this kind of expression on his lover face.

 _Gaara, Sakura invited us to her home and I said yes! I know Temari must have asked you the same but I know you can be stubborn. So I decided that we'll go. I will make it up to you, I promise ;)_

 _ **I also said yes.**_

 _Really? What a surprise! I will give you more than I thought ;)_

 _ **You really are a horny teenage.**_

 _And you love it._

 _ **That's what you wish.**_

But it was true.

*'*

It was a beautiful day. It was colder and colder in this early November but the frost on the trees and the blue of the sky was one of the most beautiful thing and gave some comfort to Gaara. The sun was bright. As bright as Temari's and Sakura's smile.

"So, We have something to tell you."

"Are you going to tell us what it is or you two want to keep going on with the stupid smiling thing?"

"Kankuro, be nice."

"I just don't like dramatic announcements! Tell us already!"

"It's beginning to be really creepy. Sakura-chan, just stop it!" Naruto begged.

"I'm pregnant." Temari simply said, still smiling widely, her hand squeezing Sakura's.

A shocked silence took place. Naruto dropped his fork, Kankuro suffocated on his beer and Gaara was not impressed at all.

"Wh-what? That's so great! For how long? I didn't even know that you were trying!" Kankuro shouted, as happy as a future uncle can be with little tears on the corner of his eyes.

"Two months."

"Isn't it a little early to tell us?"

"No. I have a good feeling about it. And I certainly was not able to keep it to myself for much longer."

"Am I going to be the Godfather?" Naturo asked, so delighted stars had appeared in his eyes.

"It's going to be me."

"Hey, not fair, you're already the uncle! And I'm Sakura's best friend in the world!"

"You don't even know how to cook! And a lot of uncles are Godfathers. I'm mean, in a way you will be his... Her... Do you know guys?"

"Yes, we know. You will not."

"Hey, no fair!"

"Life is hard Kankuro, you should know that." Sakura said playfully.

"Betrayed by my own sister in law... You should be ashamed!"

"Maybe. But I'm definitively not! And I'm not your sister in law... Yet."

"Whaaaaaat?" Naruto dropped his knife.

"Well, we think about it a lot. But not now. We want to concentrate on the baby first, but I want to marry this girl soon", Sakura kissed Temari, her happiness increasing.

"Wow... So it's when we are now, huh? We're so old..." Kankuro said depressed.

"You are, I'm not."

"You're older than me Temari..."

"What did you just say, moron?"

Gaara frowned. They were to loud. That's why he never liked week-ends with his siblings. They loved each other a lot and they always felt obliged to throw it in the face of the world. It made him ill at ease.

"Hey, you're going to have a niece or a nephew, how cool is that?"

"Hn."

"You're not happy?"

"Yes, I am. Very much." Gaara said with a hint of irony in his monotonous tone.

"Naruto, I don't think he realized it yet. Gaara needs time for some things sometimes." Kankuro teased, winking at his baby brother.

"I'm really happy for you both", Gaara ignored Kankuro who was faking some cries because his brother didn't react to him and Naruto was patting his shoulder.

Temari got up and came near Gaara. After a moment of hesitation, she took him in her arms.

"Thank you, it means the world to me that you say that."

Gaara froze in her sister's arms. He wasn't familiar with such demonstrations of affection with his siblings.

But it wasn't bad, he thought for a second.

*'*

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked, coming closer towards Gaara in the bed.

"Yeah, I'm just tired."

"Yeah, your sister and brother are something! But they're nice, I like them."

"They like you too."

"Really? Man, that's nice to hear!" Naruto smiled happily.

His good mood was contagious and made Gaara's mouth twitched up.

"So they're having a kid... It must be nice, don't you think?"

"What?"

"Having a family."

Gaara didn't respond. He never thought about having children himself. He was certain it will not be a good father. And he couldn't imagine someone wanting to have this kind of things with him.

"I don't know."

"I think I would like that. Huh someday, not now, don't worry!" Naruto mumbled blushing a little.

Gaara rose an invisible eyebrow. Why Naruto was embarrassed all of a sudden? It's not as if he wanted something like that with him. He stopped his broody thoughts when Naruto's body pressed itself on his own.

"I really missed you... Next week will be worse and we don't have any time just the two of us here."

"Well, we have a room."

"Yes, but that's not what I meant... You're really not good at reading between the lines, aren't you?" Naruto said laughing quietly.

"So why don't you just said things directly?"

"I prefer showing it to you..."

Before he could asked what it exactly meant, Naruto was spreading his legs and removing his boxer.

"Naruto, we can't... They will hear us." Gaara groaned when Naruto kissed his way down his body.

"So be quiet", his lover smiled mischievously before taking him in his mouth.

Gaara's hands automatically gripped the sheets and he couldn't help but moaning. He heard Naruto's chuckling but before he could say anything, a finger shyly entered him. He bit his pillow hard and he gave in to this delicious sensation.

There was something intoxicating knowing anybody who would pass nearby their door could understand what was happening.

His back arched when Naruto's finger found his prostate and once again a let out a moan. It was rare his lover was this keen and he loved it. He wished a lot that Naruto would lead more but the blond never really showed any interest in it, tonight was one of the rare exception. He bit his lower lip hard and one of his hand slipped in the bond hair and squeezes it hard. He could feel Naruto's smiling around him before getting back sucking him hard. It was so good he could just emptied himself now in this wonderful mouth but he wanted it a little more.

"Don't hold back." Naruto said in a raspy voice, his finger rubbing his prostate deliciously

Naruto's tone, Naruto's wonderful mouth back on his cock and the stimulation on his sweet spot, he exploded in pleasure, letting out a small cry.

He was breathless and was welcomed in Naruto's arm and leaned on the hot body.

"I'm so good you couldn't keep it quiet", the blond laughed very proud of himself.

"Shut up." Gaara flushed a little and was out of breath.

"Gaara I... I'm really happy to be here with you"

"Me too..." Gaara answered and kissed his blond lightly.

He was absentmindedly strocking Naruto's back and quickly his hands went south, caressing his lovers' ass, wanting to return the favor.

"Let's just sleep. I'm okay. I just wanted to give you pleasure, I don't need anything else."

And Gaara fell fast asleep.

*'*

 _My colleagues suggested going to karaoke tonight, I couldn't refuse! I will not stay late though, I can come after if you want._

 _ **No it's okay. I'm really tired, I'm going to sleep now. Have fun.**_

 _Aw :( okay. Can I see you tomorrow?_

 _ **I let you know.**_

"A problem Naruto?"

"Hum well... I think I upset someone..."

"Your special someone?"

"Ino!"

"What? You think I can't see your face when you read some texts? You're so painfully in love, it hurts my eyes! What's her name? Or what's his name?"

"Ino!" Naruto exclaimed, embarrassed and a part of him was scared that she knew.

"Hey, it's okay. I was going to introduce all of you to my girlfriend tonight. It's getting pretty serious and I just want to brag about her and show all of you how perfect she is!"

"Seriously Yamanaka? Poor girl, she really has to be blind and deaf to be with someone as annoying as you." Shikamaru Nara said smiling a little.

"Shut it you! Oh, she's here! Hinata! Over here!"

Naruto was speechless. He never thought Ino was lesbian and that someone could be like that. Like him. He didn't think that other people could be that understanding. He felt bad all of a sudden. Maybe Gaara was hurt he never wanted to be public?

"Naruto? Everything's fine?" Chôji Akimichi asked him, concerned on his face.

"Yeah, don't worry about him, he just got into a fight with his boyfriend, that's all.

"Ino, stop saying nonsense!" Naruto was so red he couldn't even feel the cold of the evening anymore.

"Oh! Tell him he has nothing to fear about us, you're cute but not that cute to make me forget about women" Chôji laughed loudly.

Why was he going out with them, again? But Naruto couldn't help but smile like an idiot.

*'*

"What's the matter, Gaara-kun?" Kabuto whispered in his ear and it made him shiver in disgust.

"Nothing. It seems I will be here longer than I thought."

"Oh, you've been dumped?"

"No."

"But she preferred to be somewhere else without you..."

Gaara gave him an angry look and moved away from the man.

"He's not like that."

"Oh, very interesting... You know, there is a lot of cute boys here", Kabuto smiled, showing him a cute brunet at the bar.

"I don't need it."

"But maybe you will need that", Kabuto made him swallow a pill, "We will see what can happen now..."

Gaara vaguely asked himself why he was here. But he was feeling so good, he couldn't complain about how Kabuto was irritating him out loud. The first pills was still working and when the second will he didn't how he will be. He didn't care though, nobody was waiting for him. Because karaoke was more interesting.

Thirty minutes later, everything was a blur, a magnificent blur. The brunet who was kissing his mouth roughly wasn't as disgusting as he thought.

All of his problems were forgotten.

*'*

He flushed the toilet one last time. He couldn't vomit anymore, his stomach was empty.

He laid down on the floor. He wouldn't be able to do anything today. It was the first time he was to tired for it after taking drugs. With his last bit of energy, he stood up and went to his bed, crashing in it.

His phone was vibrating and ringing and it made him want to break something. Most of them were Naruto's and one he didn't know.

Intrigued, he read the message and he became paler than he already was.

 _Thanks for last night babe. I hope we will see each other soon. I want you to fuck me at one point of this story, kissing is not enough for me. The name's Kiba, by the way._

What the fuck did he do last night? He vaguely remembered kissing someone but he wasn't sure it was something that actually happened but now there was no doubt. Fortunately it was just that. Why did he give him his number? How did he let someone do that to him? Thinking that anyone else than Naruto had touched him in anyways made him nauseous again.

The door bell ringed and ringed and he wanted to die. The strident noise was horrible and he just wanted to be alone.

He heard his door opened and a voice asked:

"Gaara, are you there? Don't tell me he forgot to close the door again... Gaara? Oh, you're there! Wow, why are you looking like a zombie?" Naruto frowned, not looking happy to see his boyfriend like that.

Gaara didn't bother to respond and turned his back on Naruto.

"Where were you last night?"

"Wherever I want."

"Okay, that's nice. I was just worried something might happened to you but apparently, you just became an ass!"

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I don't care what you want. You didn't respond to anything, I was feeling bad because I thought you were angry at me but you're just acting like a child. You didn't care I wasn't there yesterday after all."

"Oh please, just stop it!" Gaara yelled and he regretted it instantly.

Naruto looked shocked and it made Gaara even angrier at himself. He kissed somebody else and now he was acting like it was Naruto who did it.

The nausea came back and he ran to his bathroom and he threw up again.

"Gaara, are you okay?"

In reply, a monstrous sound came out of Gaara.

"Did you drink too much last night?"

"No." Gaara smacked himself mentally. He responded mindessly. Or maybe he wanted him to know. He wasn't sure. He just felt bad and he was angry and he didn't wanted to think.

"Are you sick?"

"No."

"So what..."

"You're just pissing me off!"

Once gain, Naruto looked shocked and this time hurt too.

"I'm sorry."

Naruto didn't want to hear any of it and got out of the room.

Gaara cursed himself and almost jumped when he heard an infuriating Naruto yelling:

"What the fuck is this?!"

The blond was in the bathroom again and threw something in Gaara's face.

"Oh." it was the only the red head said when he picked up the crystals. He was getting less and less careful about it lately. Especially when he was upset.

"Are you high now?" Naruto asked him.

"No."

They were silent a moment before the shaking voice of Naruto spoke.

"Gaara why..." Naruto bit his lips, feeling overtaken by events."Do you take this often?"

"No."

It was a lie. Of course. But Naruto seemed to buy it anyway.

"I... I got to admit I'm not comfortable with this at all, especially when I see you like this and that you have that shit in your apartment..."

Gaara's silence got on his nerves.

"Do you take this with people?"

"Can you stop with your questions? My head's killing me already."

"I think I deserve some answers!"

"Why don't you just go to your family and be the perfect little straight child? Isn't it what you do every week end?"

And here it was again, the sad, guilty look on his blond perfect face.

"I think I'll leave now."

"Go ahead. That's what you're the best at."

All the answer he had was his front door being slammed with force.

* * *

 **So yeah, Naruto found out. He had to because there will be no story XD**

 **Gaara is an ass, I know but he need to go there now. As you can see, the poor boy have some issues he doesn't face. And to grow he will have to face them but now is not the time.**

 **Thank you to all the persons that read and reviewed :)**

 **See you soon!**


	3. Maybe life is going down a little

_Chapter three: Maybe life is going down a little_

*'*

"What's your deal lately? Is your insomnia back again? You look tired, thinner if it was possible and you're just so worked up. Don't look at me like that, I saw how you treat you poor secretary since the last three weeks. I swear I heard him cry in the toilets."

"What were you doing in men's bathroom, Temari?"

"It's not the point. Is everything okay with Naruto?" His sister asked in concern.

Sakura vaguely told her that Naruto was very upset and sad. They apparently had a big ugly fight and the blond was beyond hurt. Gaara touched a nerve and the blond was not ready to make the first move.

"Look, Sakura told me." Gaara frowned. What did the blond told her exactly? "Well, she just know you two had a fight." Gaara's tension dropped a bit. "You're not the easiest person on earth Gaara and you found a great guy, don't let him go. I know you're very proud but is it worth it?"

"If I needed someone to lecture me, I would have asked Kankuro to come here."

"You know what? Screw you, I'm not in the mood today!"

And once again, in a very short time, someone slammed his door. He sighed and let his body sank in his chair. Thinking about Naruto was the last thing he wanted. He was actually scared that the blond was going to leave him after everything that happened and he didn't have the courage to send a message if it was how it end.

 _Are we gonna ignore each other forever?_

 _ **Not if you don't want to.**_

 _You didn't send anything neither. And Kankuro's getting on my nerves. Does he have a brother complex? He threatened to hit me if I keep going on "hurting my precious baby bro". It's not from me, I literally quote him._

 _ **I'm sorry my brother bothers you.**_

 _Never mind. In a way, I find it sweet he loves you that much. Anyway, I didn't text you to talk to you about your brother. Are you free tonight?_

 _ **I am.**_

 _Can we see each other?_

 _ **Yes.**_

 _Your apartment? Mine? In the middle of the street?_

 _ **Aren't you worried someone will see us if I come to your place?**_

 _Really, you want to go there again?_

 _ **Your place is good. I wonder what it looks like.**_

 _You will be disappointed. It's not as neat as yours and it's smaller._

 _ **It will be perfect.**_

 _Want me to pick you up or you come by yourself?_

 _ **I finish at 7 today.**_

 _Okay, see you then._

Gaara smiled and felt relieved. The past three weeks were hard. He didn't sleep much nor eat much. He saw Kabuto much more than he should have and his mood was getting worse and worse.

 _Hey baby, I hope I will see you tonight! I'm still dreaming about kissing you and more..._

Gaara deleted the text. He didn't save the number but it was Kiba, he knew it. They hadn't kissed since his fight with Naruto but a part of him liked how the young man wanted him, not bothered about the people around. He felt kind of guilty but he couldn't push him away as much as he had to.

A strange felling of guilt emerged when he saw the name of Naruto appearing on his phone.

 _I missed you Gaara... Can't wait to see you tonight._

Well, maybe he didn't have to think about it for now.

*'*

Naruto had a big silly smile of his face and Ino couldn't help but teased him about it. How he hated her co-worker!

"Sooooo, you have a date with your boyfriend tonight and that's why you look more stupid than usual?"

"Yeah. It's been hard lately, something happened but hey, who doesn't fight sometimes?"

"Oh that's why you were all gloomy for the past weeks? Must have been a pretty bad fight. Wait, you didn't even blink when I say boyfriend... Oh my God, I was right all this time!? Welcome to the team man, it's good to know I'm not the only gay person around here!"

"Well, I-"

"Don't worry it's between us. Just know I'm there for you. So, what happened with..."

"Gaara. Well, he's not... At the top of his game lately and we fought about it mostly. And the fact nobody on my side knows about him. I think it hurts him pretty bad."

"Since when you two are together?"

"Well, two years now. But we know each other for five years."

"And you still didn't tell your family? Well, I can get why he's not happy about it."

"Yeah but, it's complicated..."

"I know. Do it when you think you're ready. But know there is no good time to say it."

"Your family is okay with it?"

"My dad couldn't care less. My mom's still not okay about it. She never wants to hear about my girlfriends. I didn't really care but now that Hinata and I are pretty serious, it bothered me."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"But don't worry, I'm a big girl! And I have my friends, so it's okay" Ino sipped a little bit of her coffee, "What about Gaara's family?"

"Well, his sister is lesbian so, she wasn't exactly against anything. His brother didn't care neither. He almost cried when Gaara told him if I recall things well... Saying he was finally an adult."

Kankuro was quite a strange person.

"Is he single? Is he straight or bi? Is he handsome? I have a friend that really needs to go on a date. She's cute and all, long dark hair, big blue eyes..."

"Oh, hum... Well he's a very good-looking guy but he will not be interested."

"Why?"

"He's asexual."

"Oh. Okay", Ino looked a little surprised but said nothing else about it. "Can I see a picture of your man?"asked a very excited Ino. "Oh, well, I must say that even if I'm all about women, I would look at a guy like that at least once. He's really handsome, good job!" She winked at him and he rolled his eyes. "So what are you planning for tonight?"

"Well... Ramen?"

"Are you serious?!"

*'*

An awkward silence dragged between him and Naruto. He could tell his lover didn't know how to say what he wanted to say and he faked being absorb by the water that was not boiling in the pan yet.

It gave him the time to look around him. The apartment was small but it was modern and clean. Which was something he wouldn't have bet about Naruto. The guy literally always left a mess behing him everytime he was in Gaara's apartment. Maybe he had clean because he was coming tonight. The thought made the corner of his mouth twiched a little and his heart beat a bit faster.

His eyes kept wandering. The kitchen was equipped, the bedroom was separated with the bathroom which was surprisingly big. There was also a little balcony with a view on the river and the view was beautiful.

An exclamation coming from the kitchen got him out of his thoughts and he got up to see what was happening.

"Naruto..."

"Aaaaah! You really are too quiet Gaara, it's not good for my heart!"

"Everything's alright?"

"Yeah Yeah, it's just... The water burn me a little it's fine..."

"Are you sure?" Gaara asked taking both hands in his caressing them to see if the burn was serious. "Why are you blushing?" A small smile appeared on his face.

"I'm not! Well it's been so long since you touched me, I can't help it." Naruto admitted shamefully.

"I didn't know I had this effect on you."

"You're stupid then!" Naruto mumbled, getting back to the cooking part.

Playfully, Gaara came back to hug Naruto from behind. How he missed this warm body! Maybe too much for his liking. Feeling Naruto tensed against him made him want to do more and he bit his lover's neck sensually. He was getting excited, the scent of his lover was driving him crazy and one of his hands lifted Naruto's shirt and his fingers were now caressing the blond stomach and they moved closer to the belt.

"Hey, it's not fair, you're taking advantage of my weakness."

"Yes, totally." The belt was opened now and fingers passed under Naruto's boxer.

"Stop it."

"Why?" and Gaara's hand began to stroke his lover's hard-on.

"Hn... Because I didn't invite you t-to have sex, aaah... I-I want t-to talk." Naruto succeeded to say.

Gaara immediately stepped back. He secretly hoped that they will put the fight behind them and never talked about it ever again.

"Did you... Did you take anything when... Well..."

"No" Gaara lied instantly.

"Good" Naruto seemed to ease a little. "I'm really not at ease with drugs. I-I never told you or anybody but... My... My father had... A real problem with it and I just can't deal with it."

Naruto rarely talked about his father. All Gaara knew was that both of his parents died but never told how. He lived with his Godfather but was very close to his family. His grand parents, aunts and uncles were very attached to Naruto since then. Too much according to Gaara who couldn't easily enjoy the blond's presence two week-ends in a row because of them.

"Do you understand?"

"I do."

Naruto was just asking him to stop right away. He could do that. He wasn't an addict after all. He just took it more last weeks because he wanted to forget. That's all.

"Good" Naruto was obviously so relieved Gaara couldn't help but kiss his lover with a certain passion.

"Hey, I prepared some food, it's not for nothing."

"We can eat later..." and Gaara was all over the blond's mouth again.

A loud growl came from Naruto's stomach and he chuckled.

"I think I have to eat now. But you can still be my dessert..." Naruto winked.

"Hurry up and eat your ramen."

*'*

 _He was under is blanket. The noises were terrible and disgusting. He could hear his sister crying and muffled the sound coming from her mouth._

 _He could feel tears on his cheeks and he was rocking to reassure himself._

 _The noises finally stopped and he could hear a door being opened then shut and the sound of a belt being put back in his place._

 _He wanted to scream but he couldn't. He looked at his brother who was sleeping. How could he sleep when..._

Gaara woke up on the floor, next to his bed.

*'*

Once again, he saw his secretary walking out of his office, tears in his eyes. Everything was a pain today and strangely throwing pencils at people wasn't as satisfying as it once was. The sound of the voice of Temari, the phone ringing, the sun, the sky, absolutely everything was annoying and getting on his nerve. He was gad he wasn't able to meet Naruto before a few days. Sleeping was hard, his body was hurting most of the time and his heart could race all of a sudden.

"What happened again?"

"Nothing"

"Gaara..."

"Temari, I said nothing."

"What's wrong with you?"

"You're talking, that's what's wrong with me."

His sister gave him a hard look. She was getting tired of her brother's behavior. He was acting like he was on drugs or something if she didn't know him better.

"It's not my fault if you have hard days. If you were nicer, maybe everything else will be."

"Get out."

"What?"

"GET THE FUCK OUT!"

His fist punched his desk and he wasn't even aware of it. The anger was so strong he could feel his heart beating in his ears. He couldn't hear what his sister was saying anymore. He just felt relieved when he finally saw her leaving the room.

He felt suddenly tired and he just dropped on his chair. He rubbed his face and sighed.

" _Seemed like you fucked it up, like always"_

He jumped. He looked everywhere. Nobody was here.

" _Maybe your father was right after all, maybe you should just die. What do you think about it?"_

His breath was getting fast. What was happening? His body felt heavy as if someone sat on him.

" _You don't even deserve your lover. After all, isn't it why he just hide you? Who would want somebody like you? Someone who killed his own mother"_

He shut his eyes. Maybe like that he will go away. He tried to snap out of it but it was hard. He was about to give up when suddenly his was able to breath more and more normally and his members felt lighter.

He looked around him one last time. His clothes were wet and he must look crazy. Sweat was dropping on his face and a nausea kicked in his stomach.

He decided he was off for today. Without a word, he picked his stuff and walked out of his office, vaguely waving at his frightened secretary, and he really has to learn his goddamn name, he was going home.

The cool air of the outside felt good and he sighed in appreciation. His heart was beating normally again and the sun going down was curiously comforting.

"Good evening, Gaara..."

The red head jumped out of surprise and turned his head towards the man with a disgusting smile.

"Kabuto..."

"Long time no see. Are you free now?"

Gaara nodded and slapped himself in his mind but a part of him was beginning to crave something he wanted to forget.

"We will talk about some important contract."

Gaara stayed silence but stopped walking. The club was close to his apartment after all.

"Let's go, Gaara-kun..."

A part of him was telling him to run in the opposite direction.

*'*

He wasn't controlling anything anymore. He had the impression of being in another world and it was good. It's been awhile since he took anything and he had the impression it was stronger than usual.

He said nothing when Kiba came closer to him and start stroking his hips.

"Hey, interested by something else, just you and me?"

Gaara looked for Kabuto and he saw the man at the bar, not paying attention to him at all. They certainly discussed everything that had to be discussed anyway. Kiba tried to have his attention but he didn't understand what he said to him.

A kiss allowed him to be focused again and he looked at the brunet surprised.

"If we go to your home, I will show you something great."

He heard himself respond in a positive way and he followed the other man outside.

In no time they were in his apartment and Kiba was doing something in his kitchen and he let him surprised him.

He didn't even blinked when he saw the man coming to him with a needle.

"So, ready?"

His nightmare from the night before appeared all of a sudden in his head.

"Yes"

*'*

When he woke up, he was alone, numb and tired. He took him several minutes to remember what happened once he got home with Kiba. He had let the brunet inject the heroin in his veins and he knew it was too much. Soon after, he had told him to leave and Kiba was disappointed. He had kissed him multiples times but all he wanted to be left alone. The only good thing about that mess was the fact he didn't have any nightmares.

His body was numb again and he decided to go take a bath. He didn't know his phone was on his coffee table and vibrating, the name of his lover on the screen.

A few minutes later, he was asleep in his bath, relaxed. He didn't hear the ringing from his door, he didn't hear the man cursing about his stupid habit of not closing his door.

He didn't hear the sound of a bag falling on the floor when the man saw the needles on his coffee table.

He didn't know he was screwed yet.

*'*

He woke up an hour later. The water was cold and his skin was all wrinkled. He got up a little groggy and he quickly dried himself. He then went to his room and put on some warm clothes.

Without any suspicion, he went to his living room and he stopped breathing for a few seconds.

Naruto was waiting in the dark, on his couch, Gaara's phone in one hand.

"You fucking lied to me."

Now, he knew he was screwed.

* * *

 **Sooooo, weeeell. Naruto seems really angry, huh?**

 **What do you think will happen?**

 **Why is Gaara such a moron?**

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **Hope you like this one too and thank you to everyone who read and reviewed :)**


	4. Life is definitly going down

_Life is definitly going down_

*'*

The atmosphere in the living room was so heavy, Gaara had the impression the air was solid and it felt like he couldn't breathe.

No sound came out of his mouth. He didn't know what to say.

"You told me you stopped. I found this." Naruto's voice was calm and cold. It didn't suit him at all, Gaara thought.

Gaara always thought that if he saw Naruto furious, he would scream and tell him how much he hated him. It would have end well though, they would kiss and fuck after that as if nothing ever happened and life would go on.

But the look on his lover's face told him it will not happen at all.

He threw something at Gaara's feet. It was the needles, now broken, which they used last night.

"Your friend Kiba left a message. He insulted you multiple times but also said he wanted to kiss you again and fuck you senseless. Do you care telling me who he is?"

Nothing came.

Suddenly, Gaara saw the mask of Naruto break and tears was running down his face.

"I fucking trusted you." Naruto tried to wipe his tears away but there were too many. "I can't. I just can't, Gaara. I can forgive a lot but I have my limits."

Silence was still the answer. What could Gaara reply after all? He was at fault. He shouldn't have lied. He should have been stronger.

"Or you should just disappear. Like this nobody's hurt and everyone is happy."

This voice again. He showed nothing but inside, he was terrified.

Gaara's attention was now on the bag that was on his sofa. He could tell that every belongings the blond had left here was now in it. Naruto must have done it when he was asleep.

Suddenly he realized. The blond wanted to go. He wanted to break up with him.

 _"Well, who would want a piece of trash like you anyway?"_ the voice's tone was sickly sheering.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

Still nothing, Gaara's eyes were just empty of any emotions and it made Naruto's anger grow.

"You're a fucking coward."

A spark of irritation lit in Gaara's body. At least he wasn't completely absent.

"I just can't", repeated Naruto but he didn't move anywhere.

That was it. Gaara suddenly came to life. He was tired of the conversation and of the situation. He was an adult. He could do whatever he wanted, when he wanted. With whom he wanted.

"So why are you still here?"

Despite the anger that took over him, his voice was as flat as usual and he stared straight in Naruto's eyes. Something was burning in them and for the first time, Naruto got scared.

"I don't know. I think I just hoped that..." Naruto didn't finish his sentence.

"Hope that I will beg you to stay?"

Gaara didn't move, didn't say anything else. If Naruto didn't want to be with him anymore, fine. He will survive.

After a few minutes, he saw the blond pick up his bag and walk off of the big, too big apartment with the most painful expression on his face.

He didn't look behind him though.

When the door shut, Gaara stand in his living room.

He didn't move for minutes.

His brain was blanked. What happened exactly?

A few minutes ago, Naruto was there. Hurt and angry and cold. So helpless.

Then he found out.

Gaara pushed him away and he left.

He left.

The observation hit him hard.

He ran out of his apartment. He jumped out several steps that it made him almost crash on the floor but his desperation kept him running. Once he was outside, he called Naruto multiple times but he was nowhere to be seen.

He couldn't see him.

Naruto wasn't there anymore.

His world was smashed to pieces.

*'*

He didn't recall how he went back home.

He was now only focused on the needle that will bring him serenity.

Soon the world was a better place. His problems weren't so heavy anymore. His father was just a shadow in his mind, he wasn't as threatening as he usually was. Naruto was still here, in the bed next door.

He always has been alone and it tortured him for so long. Sure, his sister and his brother tried sometimes to be here for him but he knew they're were distant. They never protected him.

Never.

They were just feeling guilty about what happened. They wanted to be able to sleep at night. So they worked as a family but they were just broken.

It was okay though. Now everything was. Naruto was here for him.

But all of a sudden things got dark. The floor of his bathroom wasn't as comfortable as it was a minute ago. He was getting lethargic but he knew he wasn't going to get any sleep soon. Nonetheless he headed for his bed. Soon the body heat of his lover will make him warm and he will fall asleep a while.

But the bed never got warm. He turned over and there was nobody next to him.

Naruto's wasn't there.

 _"Did you really expect anything else?"_ the voice was back.

Gaara busted into tears.

*'*

"Temari."

The tone of the voice was happy and a little goofy. Temari looked at her lover in amusement. It was like this every night since they knew the insemination worked.

"We're going to have a baby!"

And Sakura was on her knees, kissing Temari's belly as if it was the most wonderful thing in the world.

"Are you going to do this for the last 6 month and a half?"

"Oh yes!"

"I need kisses too you know."

"Already jealous?"

"No, I just have needs."

Sakura got up and cupped Temari's cheek.

"What kind of needs?"

"I think you perfectly understood what I was implying..."

Sakura laughed slightly and pressed gently her mouth against Temari's. It was soft and chaste at first. Her hands was in Temari's hair and she was massaging her scalp, Temari's hand were stroking her lower back. Then a tongue asked for access and everything got out of control.

Temari was pinned in their sofa, moaning loudly as Sakura bit her neck with passion and she was sure she will have a mark tomorrow but now she didn't care. The blond could just think of the hands that was removing her clothes. It's been awhile since they've been intimate. Sakura's was very busy at the hospital lately. She was proud of her, she was a great doctor but going back home and being all alone was hard some evenings, especially now with the baby and the strange behavior of her brother stressed her a lot.

She signed in anticipation when Sakura took off her pants and the ring bell echoed in the house. They didn't pay attention of it, getting back to the getting naked part but the bell ringed again. And again. And again.

"I'm going to murder whoever it is..." Temari heard Sakura threatening the poor person over and over again while heading for the door, putting her clothes back on quickly.

"Naruto? What the hell are you doing here this late? I thought you were with Gaara!" Temari quickly put on her clothes and didn't hear Naruto's answer.

She finally joined them and the picture broke her heart. Naruto was breaking down in Sakura's arms. The young women was whispering sweet, gentle thing to him. Naruto was always so full of life, warmth and happiness it didn't look natural to see him like this.

"Hey you two, go to the living room, don't stay here, it's cold."

The two friends nodded and Temari went to the kitchen. She made him a sandwich and prepared him a glass of milk. Comfort food as it finest.

"Thank you Temari..."

"You're welcome. So what happened with Gaara?"

"I..." he couldn't finish his sentence, his voice died when tears came out again. What did her stupid brother do this time?

"It's over." Naruto finally achieved to sort out the words.

A shock silence responded to the declaration.

"What? Why?"

"He... Well, he... There was a Kiba and..."

"Oh I'm going to smash him. I know he is your brother but I don't care right now." Sakura said completely furious.

"Gaara cheated on you? It's... No, it's just not him. I mean, he can't do that to you!"

"He did." Naruto's voice broke again but he kept composure this time. "But, it wasn't the worse."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know if-if I can say it, it just to... It was so horrible Sakura, I just couldn't..."

"What happened Naruto? Was he violent with you?" Sakura asked worried.

"What?! No! Of course not! He's not like that at all! He will never do that!" Naruto defended Gaara with all he had. The redhead would never be able to physically hurt him. Gaara was always gentle with him and always had something tender towards him. He would never hurt someone like that.

"Okay, okay, breathe Naruto. So what happened exactly?"

The look he gave Temari made her want to cry. He started explaining and the further he went, the further guilt, rage and sadness took her.

*'*

"Babe, are you okay?"

Temari didn't have the force to respond. She was just sitting on their bed, in the dark, looking through the window. Rain was falling and she found it almost ironic. She found refuge in their bedroom, Naruto was still here, still talking but she couldn't hear more of it. Her heart closed and she had the impression she couldn't feel a thing anymore.

"I'm fine. I'm just... Disappointed? I don't know. I'm feeling mostly empty now."

She heard Sakura sitting next to her and rubbing her arm to make her feel better but it didn't work.

"I never thought he would do something that stupid. Dad did drugs too besides alcohol. It's what killed him in the end."

"It's not your fault what Gaara did..."

"Yes it is! I'm his big sister, I'm supposed to protect him from that kind of shit and I wasn't even able to do one thing fucking right!"

"Don't! You protected him enough! He's an adult now, you can't be here every time for him!"

"I should! I was so selfish lately that I didn't even see it!"

"Having a child is being selfish to you?" The hurt in Sakura's voice broke Temari's wall around her heart and she starts crying.

Crying for his little brother who was so lost he thought he couldn't even rely on her with whatever was in his head. Crying because for a second she thought she would be the worst mother ever. She sought tenderness in Sakura's arm and her lover gave it to her immediately.

"It's going to be okay, I promise. We will be here for him."

"I'm not sure I can even look at him right now. I don't want to feel that way."

"You just need time."

Temari didn't say anything else and she closed her eyes. She was so tired. She wondered if one thing could be fine in her life. She thought that with her father gone, they will be okay. She thought she would be strong enough to take care of her brothers properly and she failed miserably. Kankuro wasn't able to stay put, his trauma too strong to let him be in peace if he was alone or not doing something and Gaara turned to drugs because he must had believe there was nothing else to do to ease the pain even though she was there and he had someone that loved him so much. She really thought Gaara was doing better since he was with Naruto. She always saw how much he cared about his blond but there always was an hidden sadness she didn't want to see. She looked elsewhere every time she noticed it. She was weak and a coward, she...

A pain in her stomach pulled her out oh her thought. It was growing, it was horrible and it was the most terrifying thing she ever felt.

"Babe? Temari, tell me what is going on?"

Temari just screamed.

*'*

"Gaara? Are you in here? He still didn't learn how to close doors..."

Kankuro switch the light on and he retched at the smell coming from the living room. He saw multiple bottles of different alcohols. It explained why his brother didn't come to work this Monday. It alarmed him since he couldn't remember a day when Gaara didn't come to work. Even if he didn't sleep for days he always saw his brother in his office. With Temari not here neither, it was going to be a difficult day. When Konohamaru Sarutobi said he called in sick, he didn't believe it for a second.

He came as quickly as he could after work and he didn't like what he saw at all and head for the bedroom.

"Gaara?"

Still no response and still the same horrible smell. He heard some noises coming from the bathroom. His brother was clearly pucking all he had.

"Gaara, are you okay. Can I come in?"

"Go away."

"No, I won't. I'm coming in."

"Don't." Gaara said in a weak voice but Kankuro was already opening the door. He really should learn how to lock one.

"Gaara why are you like this? I saw your living room... Do you want me to call Naruto?"

A weird laugh escaped his brother lips.

"I'm one hundred percent sure he won't come."

"Why? Did you guys have a fight again?"

"We're not together anymore."

Kankuro gave him a shocked look. Gaara's usual monotonous voice didn't sound normal. No expression were crossing his face but the older brother could tell the red head was hurt. Badly.

"I'm sorry... What happened? Temari knows? Do you want me to kick his ass?" Kankuro tried to lightened the mood a little bit but all he received was an empty and sad look from Gaara.

"Don't. He doesn't deserve it. I'm the one who screwed up."

"What happened?"

Gaara got up as he can and didn't bother to respond and went to his bedroom and laid down on his bed.

"Okay... I know it could be hard but-"

"How could you? You don't know what it's like to have someone."

"Okay, no need to be that nice. Tell me, what happened."

"I... Lied to him. And other things. But mostly lying."

"Did you... Cheat on him?"

He saw his brother vaguely nodding at the question and Kankuro couldn't believe it. He knew his brother and he wasn't the type to seek elsewhere. He knew Naruto was his first for almost everything. It didn't make sense.

He sat next to his brother and his eyes wondered in the room. It was empty for most part. There wasn't any decoration, just what was vital. A wardrobe, a bed, a nightstand, needles... Wait, needles?

"Gaara what... What the fuck?!"

Kankuro seemed ill at ease, a disappointed glare passed in his eyes and anger rushed into Gaara's vein. The last thing he wanted was his brother to judge him. He truly didn't need it right now. He wanted some sort of comfort.

He truly was pathetic.

"Temari knows about this? I didn't know you... Why you..."

"You really wonder why?"

"Yeah. I thought my baby brother was okay and now I see him broken and he just drops a goddamn bomb. You had Naruto. You have me and Temari. You're not alone."

"I was. I still am. What our father did... I need to forget. It makes me forget and feel good." _Mostly_ , he said to himself. The nausea and vomiting was not his favorite things in the world though.

"Don't bring that excuse. You were not the only one he abused. He did things to all of us. Temari had it harder."

"So I can't be hurt by it?" Gaara was getting angry. His fists tightened. He was in no mood to hear some shitty sermon from his righteous brother who wasn't even able to find someone to love.

"You can. But letting yourself go like that, no you can't. I can't let it happen neither."

"I didn't think you had anything to say about my choices."

"Well, I actually do. And I'm telling you to cut the crap. I can help you."

"I don't need your help" Gaara spitted angrily though his teeth.

"You obviously do. If not, you will not be there, tired, sad and angry."

"I don't need you."

"Yes, you do."

"No." Gaara didn't look at Kankuro and went to his kitchen to drink water.

"So why are you asking for help so much? It clearly is what you're doing when you took it."

"Get out of here now."

"Gaara, don't take it like this!" Kankuro said, getting truly irritated.

"Shut up. I don't care what you think. I don't need you to judge me. I don't need you."

Without understanding what was happening, Kankuro found himself being pushed outside and the door slammed right in front of him.

"Gaara! Open the door!"

He tried to opened it.

Unfortunately, Gaara learned how to lock a door.

* * *

 **Thank you to everyone who reads this story :)**

 **See you new sunday!**


	5. Sex and drugs

_**Sex and drugs**_

*'*

 _I'm sorry. I didn't want to get angry, but I worry about you. Please tell me if you're okay and if you need anything._

Gaara signed. It was the hundredth text Kankuro sent him since he came to his apartment yesterday. And it was only 10 am.

He didn't want to have anything to do with him but a part of Gaara was glad someone cared enough to speak to him. He didn't have any news of Temari but he was sure she knew that he and Naruto broke up. Naruto would never hide it from Sakura. The blond was so hurt, he must have told her and Sakura rarely kept things hidden from Temari, except if it was a surprise. A good surprise. And this wasn't at all.

All the bitterness he ever felt against his sister came back on the surface and the loneliness was almost unbearable. She always said she was there for him and now...

But the frustration was his main feeling. When he heard his phone vibrating, he threw himself on his phone, his heart beating like crazy, hoping it was Naruto giving him a second chance. Saying that he wanted to be with him no matter what.

But it was just Kankuro.

" _He will never return to you ever again. You're not worthing it. You're just trash."_

He let the tears he was holding fall on his face. He felt so alone. It wasn't new to him, but today it felt too heavy. He didn't want to be alone. And the voice made it worse once again. But she was right.

She was always right.

He was tired of being alone.

Without responding to his brother, he got to bed, hoping sleep will come easily.

*'*

 _"You are so useless. I wonder why I even let you be born."_

 _Pain traveled his body. His face was on the ground. Breathing was hard. All his members were numb. He couldn't get up._

 _"You killed her. It should have been you. It would have been better if it had been you."_

 _He felt blood in his mouth when a foot hit his ribs. He didn't have the force to do anything. He just listened. He was just some piece of trash. He didn't deserve any better._

 _"Just die."_

And Gaara woke up, sweat all over his body, his heart racing, his body screaming in pain and in withdrawal. Trembling, he opened his drawer and took the drug that was in it.

Trying to get up, he fell on the floor and started crawling to his bathroom. Once he arrived, he got up and search for a needle.

Once everything was prepared, the calm and well being that dispersed in his body was so good.

He let himself slide on the floor and fell asleep the moment his head touched the cold floor.

*'*

The first thing he did when he woke up was to throw up all he had in his stomach and it wasn't much. Soon, bile filled his throat and mouth and tears were in the corner of his eyes.

The crisis passed, he got up with difficulty before washing his face with cold water. When he took a look in the mirror, he was almost scared. He was so pale and looked so tired. He clearly looked unhealthy. His body was so thin that anything could break him. He bit his lips, feeling totally lost.

He didn't want to feel like that. He was disgusted by himself. No wonder why Naruto left him. He was so pathetic. He was ugly and insignificant.

He wished he could just disappear.

Strong knocks on his door made him jumped. Who was it? Could it be Naruto?

With hope, he opened the door and a punch greeted him. He let out a slight moan of pain. He wasn't able to fight back, he was too weak for that.

"You little piece of..."

He knew this voice and he was surprised she came to see him.

"I don't care that you feel shitty about yourself right now."

Sakura's voice was harsh and unforgiving.

"Breaking Naruto's heart, I can manage. You two are adults, it's not my place to say or judge anything."

Gaara looked at her with no expression, but he wondered why she was saying that to him.

"But when it comes to Temari, it's my business. You want to fuck you up? Do it, but don't hurt the only person who always believed in you. She always thinks about you first. She always speaks about you, she always wants to see you and I said nothing every time she looked hurt because you said no without even an explanation. You didn't even bother to call when she was in the hospital for two days. You're so fucking selfish you didn't even ask if she was okay."

Gaara frowned. He had no idea. Kankuro didn't tell him. Or did he? He couldn't remember. Things were more and more confused lately.

"I-" he tried to say something, but Sakura's fist crushed against the wall and he thought that it wasn't the best idea to interrupt her now.

"Shut the fuck up. You don't speak here. I don't care about what you have to say. If something happens to Temari and my daughter because of you, because you put so much pressure and sadness on her, I swear to you that you will regret it."

She slammed the door so hard on her way out that he was scared for a moment she might had broke it.

He grabbed his phone and looked up at Kankuro's text. He never mentioned anything about Temari's condition. He must have thought he wasn't important enough to know things like that.

Rage suddenly seized him and all of the things that was on his way were broken.

His hands were crashing everything and he had the impression he wasn't in his own body anymore.

" _This is the only thing you're good at. Breaking things."_ The voice laughed.

He couldn't help but scream.

*'*

 _Gaara, your secretary told me it's been days since you last came at work. Temari is overwhelmed, she needs you. She's pregnant, she can't take all of it on herself._

Gaara didn't bother to respond to his older brother. He was just trying to make him feel guilty and he didn't want to feel that. He didn't want to feel at all.

 _I'm sorry. I shouldn't put pressure on you. I just don't know what to do. I will come see you tonight._

 _ **I don't want to see you. And stop apologizing.**_

Kankuro didn't come and didn't send anything else.

*'*

He shivered and he closed the window in his office. December was well advanced now. The night was almost here and it was only four pm. He could see some snowflakes falling from the sky. The Christmas decorations on the street illuminated the city. It was a strange atmosphere. Gaara never liked it. He never liked this time of the year.

He was finally back to work and it was a real pain. All of his body was hurting and he couldn't do anything useful. Staying in his apartment wasn't possible anymore. Everything was broken and the voice was more powerful when he was in there.

Temari didn't even look at him when she came into his office. She just said a few words and she was now searching for something he couldn't even remember. She looked tired and there was something sad about her.

He looked at her even though he knew he should say something. Was his niece okay? Was she okay? What happened exactly? But the words were blocked in his throat.

"Gaara."

"Yes?"

"What happened to your face?"

"Ask your girlfriend."

She gave him a weird look, but she didn't comment on it. It was hard to look at him. The more she looked at him, the more she just told herself it was clear her brother was not okay for a while and it made her feel absolutely useless. Her stomach started to hurt again and she breathed calmly and everything was fine again.

"Christmas will be at my home this year. Is it okay for you? You can come around 5 pm. We will need help."

"Okay."

They said nothing else.

*'*

"Maybe you should go easy Gaara-kun, you already took plenty of it tonight."

Kabuto only received a glare in response. Even for him, the use of the redhead was more and more out of control. The redhead was more and more in his little world and Kabuto knew exactly what happens to people like that, especially rich young people who were completely lost.

Gaara drank too and it never was a good idea. Kabuto thought it was a shame a good looking man like him was destroying himself that way. But it also made him a lot of money and Orochimaru always liked when he was able to make him money.

When he saw a certain brunet going to Gaara and pinned him on the sofa, he looked away and went to the bar. That wasn't his business anymore when he saw the two men kissing violently.

"So... Can I have you tonight?" Kiba asked in Gaara's ear.

The redhead didn't respond, but shivered at the contact. He felt too hot with the other man's body pressed against his.

"Oh, I can feel that's a yes..."

Kiba got up, took his hand and took the redhead towards the toilets.

"Not here." Gaara stopped, not at ease with fucking in the club toilets at all. Even high, the idea made him sick.

"Your place?"

He shook his head negatively. His apartment was the last place he wanted to be right now and he certainly didn't want to have sex where he and Naruto had.

"Okay, my place then..."

*'*

Kiba hailed a taxi and he jumped on Gaara directly after he gave his address. It was rare he found someone this charming. That's why he had been so patient with the redhead. He had been upset when Gaara had dismissed him so many times. But he got it at the time. He had a boyfriend and he thought it was cute and very attractive that he was faithful to him no matter what. Well, almost faithful considering all the hot kisses they shared.

Now that he knew he was single he will never take no for an answer. Lucky him, tonight Gaara seemed to want his body very much. He returned every kiss with eagerness and he moaned loudly every time Kiba sucked on his neck. The taxi driver was looking at them with a slight look of disgust and Kiba just greeted him with his middle finger. What a fucking dickhead.

Once they arrived, he could see Gaara was surprised to see he lived in a very fancy building.

"You're not the only rich kid in town pretty boy" Kiba purred in his ear before paying for the taxi. He blew a kiss at the driver who looked quite disgusted then lead Gaara to his apartment.

He pressed Gaara against the wall as soon as they entered the flat. He could feel that Gaara hadn't calmed down at all. He was so hard Kiba thought he was going to explode with just a touch on his cock.

"You're so fucking hot, I just want to fuck you so hard right now."

A cry of need escaped Gaara's lips. It felt so good to be at the mercy of someone, to feel how much someone wanted him. His blood pulsed so hard into his cock it was real torture and he bucked his hips against Kiba's.

"What do you want me to do to you? Want me to suck you dry? Want my cock in your ass? Tell me..."

The thought of having a man inside of him, one who wasn't Naruto, wasn't appealing to him at all. The thought even made him a little ill at ease. But he was so excited, his body didn't calm down at the thought.

"Suck me." Gaara ordered. He needed to come. Quickly.

"Say "please" " Kiba joked removing Gaara's belt, then his pants and underwear.

"On your knees. Now." Gaara's voice was irrevocable.

"Hmm, I can enjoy something like that too..."

A weird feeling seized Gaara. The sight of Kiba on his knees now, pleasuring him didn't feel right and his cock got softer. He closed his eyes and bit his lips. Images of Naruto playing with his cock got him hard again. He just had to pretend it was him. It was his tongue that was playing with the tip of his dick, it was his hot mouth that was devouring him. His back ached and he imagined that he was being deep throated by the man he loved.

His hand gripped the brunet's hair and he fucked his mouth without gentleness. He just needed to come thinking of Naruto. He was so close...

He cried out when his cum invaded Kiba's mouth. He was panting heavily and his legs were weak. He looked down at Kiba who was staring at him with lustful eyes as he swallowed Gaara's seed.

"That was quick... I'm flattered you wanted me that much. I want to fuck you Gaara..." Kiba purred into Gaara's ear, one of his fingers playing with Gaara's entrance.

The red head vividly pushed the finger away and he pushed Kiba on the floor, pinning his wrists above his head.

"You're the one getting fucked." Gaara growled, stripping the brunet. It was a possibility too, Kiba thought as he let Gaara bit his neck and he sighed in pleasure.

Once Kiba was totally naked, Gaara smirked. He was quite cute, panting loudly with envy and his eyes blackened by desire.

"You said something about me getting fucked, but here I am, only naked, waiting for your cock."

Kiba had quite a dirty mouth and Gaara liked it.

"Lube? Condom?" The red head asked, caressing the torso of the brunet.

"In the bedroom. Follow me."

Quickly, they went to Kiba's room. The brunet searched for the lube a few seconds and handed it to Gaara.

Soon the room was full of sighs and moans. Kiba was spreading his legs so much it was hurting him, but the fingers in his ass rubbing his prostate made him lose control. It has been a while since someone did it to him and he had almost forgot how good it was and how good it could hurt.

"Please Gaara... Fuck me, please..." Kiba begged.

And his prayers were answered. He screamed when he was finally filled up. Gaara wasn't tender, every movement was rough and hitting his sweet spot and it was so good. Lately sex wasn't that great anymore and he often got bored. But now he was screaming in pleasure, so loud he knew his throat was going to hurt tomorrow. Kiba could feel his orgasm growing and his nails were scratching Gaara's back.

"I'm com-comming Gaara, fuck! God, yes, fuck, fu- Aaaah!"

His mind was blank because of the orgasm, he almost didn't feel Gaara putting him on all fours. But when the rough back and forth started again, he screamed once again. He was so sensible right now, he had the impression he could come once more.

Gaara was pulling his hair, groaning more and more. Kiba moaned when Gaara came and he let himself fall on his mattress, short of breath. He heard the sound of a condom being taken off and of a body crashing into the bed so he turned his head in the redhead's direction and his heart skipped a beat. Gaara was looking at him with so much love, he could feel he was blushing.

"Was I too rough?" Gaara asked, stroking Kiba's cheek.

"No, it was very good, believe me." Kiba responded, closing his eyes to enjoy the touch as much as possible.

"I'm so sorry..."

Kiba raised a brow. What was Gaara talking about?

"I didn't want to hurt you... I love you, Naruto..."

Immediately after saying these words, the green eyes closed and Gaara's breathing was calm.

"Did he seriously just fall asleep like that?"

A little snore answered him.

"Who's this Naruto?" Kiba mumbled and a pick of jealousy reached his heart and he cursed himself for getting attached to the first pretty boy his eyes had crossed. Well, not the first at all but still. It sucked.

He winced when he tried to get up. All of his body was sore now, but the idea of sleeping in his own semen wasn't his dream. He decided to just clean himself quickly with a tissue and he threw it on the floor. He will clean up tomorrow.

He put his blanket on his body and he was now back to back to Gaara but it didn't last long. He was now spooning with the redhead who was holding him tightly. His warmth was very nice and he started falling asleep.

"Naruto..." Gaara spoke in his sleep, kissing Kiba's neck gently.

At this moment, Kiba really wanted to be this guy.

*'*

Gaara woke up slowly not opening his eyes and he sighed in satisfaction. Naruto was still against him, he could hear him breathe slightly, still asleep. With his eyes still shut, he pressed his lips against the neck of the blond and he smiled when he heard a groan. He slowly opened his eyes and he frowned. Since when Naruto was a brunet with shorter hair?

"Mornin' you..." the man kissed him and it felt really strange.

Then, all the things that happened last night came back and he didn't know what to do. He actually really thought for a moment Kiba was Naruto. It was his blond's hair he had pulled hard, his face he has seen when he fucked, his voice he had heard when he came.

"I need to go home." Gaara said, trying to get up, but his legs were weak and he barely stand on it. He quickly grabbed his clothes and put them on.

"So soon? We can spend the day together, it's Saturday."

"I want to take a shower?" Gaara told him, as if Kiba didn't talk.

"Want some help?" The brunet asked seductively.

Gaara's glare just made him sight. What was wrong with him? After the night they had he... Kiba shook his head. What was he hoping for? Gaara didn't owe him anything. But he always had a good time when he saw the redhead. He was calm even when he took some drugs and he was a very good lover. The pain in his ass will remind him that at least for the week-end.

It was lonely to stay here on his own, but Gaara really didn't seem to want to stay.

He escorted the redhead to his bathroom, he gave him a towel.

"Why are you still here?"

"Well, I want to see you naked again."

"Get out."

"Okay, okay! I already saw everything last night, no need to be such a prude now!" Kiba said, annoyed but left him alone anyway.

A few minutes later, Gaara got out and without a word, he searched for his belongings. Kiba just watched him, but it bothered him. Another one was leaving him in this apartment that was too big for one person and the thought was unbearable at the moment.

"Let me drive you home"

"I don't need it.

"Look, be macho all you want, but you can barely walk! I'll call a taxi and I'm taking you home. I promise I will leave you alone after this."

"Fine." Gaara answered after a while.

After Kiba called for a cab, they put on their coats and waited in silence. Kiba observed Gaara intensely. He really liked the shape of his face, it was such a shame he looked so tired and hopeless. He was too thin too, but it makes him awkwardly very attractive.

"Where did you get the tattoo?" Kiba asked breaking the silence. He always was intrigued by it. Why would someone tattoo the kanji for love on their forehead?

"A mistake when I was in college."

"Why "love" "?

"Why are you asking questions?" Gaara snapped clearly annoyed.

Kiba was going to respond something when his phone rang. The cab was here.

"Our ride is here, come on."

*'*

"Wow, what happened here? It wasn't like that last time!"

"You said you leave."

"You're not very polite. I can stay for a minute, can't I?"

Gaara shrugged and try to take off his coat, but doing something was really too hard for him.

"I think you took too much last night. Next time you have to be more careful." Kiba said gently helping him removing his coat.

"Thank you"

"You're welcome. So, when can I see you again?"

Gaara looked at him, surprised. He didn't think of it. He hadn't had the intention of seeing the brunet again. But it was good too, not being alone with someone who will not try to lecture him.

"I don't know" Gaara truthfully said.

"Sure you don't want me around?"

"I need to sleep."

"I can help you with that" Kiba's sentence was full of innuendo.

Before he could say a word, Kiba captured his mouth with his own and kissed him passionately. Gaara didn't really know what to do so he let the younger man go on and he finally gave in. Soon he was pinned against a wall of his apartment and Kiba had his hands under his shirt, playing with nipples.

And it was at this exact moment that his brother thought it would be a good idea to open the door.

"Gaara, I'm sorry, I should have come sooner, I... Am interrupting something apparently..."

Gaara pushed Kiba away from him. Of course, his brother was going to spoil everything and he gave him a hard look.

Kiba was staring at Kankuro blushing slightly. The man in front of him wasn't really tall and something about him reminded him of Gaara. Maybe it was the spiky hair and the shape of their faces. But it ended here. The man had dark hair and dark eyes and God, he was good looking. It was a very different kind of beauty than Gaara. He was manlier, and his clothes couldn't hide the fact he had a very good body too. He wasn't too big or too thin. It was the perfect amount of muscles. He wanted to kiss him and touched him. Gosh, why was he such a hopeless romantic?

"Do I have something on my face?" Kankuro asked, not knowing what was going on in Kiba's head.

Fucking God, his voice was truly beautiful too.

"Hm? Oh no, no. Not at all. Nothing on your perf... on your face. I think I should leave you two alone. Call me?" He asked Gaara, quite hopeful.

"I don't make calls. I text" Gaara added when he saw some sadness in Kiba's eyes that was immediately gone once he said that.

"Good."

He leaned to Gaara and kissed him softly before heading for the door. He blushed once more when he looked at Kankuro and he just nodded to the man to say goodbye before leaving.

"Well... Is this the guy you cheated on Naruto with? Is he your boyfriend now? He doesn't seem in a good shape neither."

Oh. Good. Kankuro wanted to lecture him. Gaara was so happy about it, he just ignored him and crashed on his sofa. If he answered him, he was going to punch him so hard in the face that he will have blood on his hands.

"I think I made quite an impression on him. What the hell happened here?!"

"I got angry."

"I can see that!"

"So why are you asking?"

Kankuro sighed and dropped a bag on his untouched table. Gaara didn't know why, but he didn't have the urge to destroy it last time. Maybe because deep down he knew he would have been useless. This thing was too heavy for him.

"So you didn't answer."

"About what?"

"Who is he?"

"The guy I fucked last night."

Gaara has said it with morbid happiness. He knew his brother was very ill at ease on the subject. Every time sex was in conversation, he always tensed up and was very quiet. It was the only time he was ever quiet. And he didn't fail. Kankuro gave him a weird look and said nothing. Gaara could see that something crossed his mind and some fear in his brother's eyes for a second.

"Did he know?"

"Yes."

"Did he...?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Were you safe?"

"Yeah, I wear a condom to fuck him."

Once again, an unpleasant shiver went through his brother.

"Good. But stop it, please."

"What?"

"You know what."

"Saying that we fucked? I'm just telling the truth."

"Gaara please!"

"If you're not happy about me telling you how I fucked him, you can leave."

Kankuro just gave him an angry look and slammed the front door on his way out.

One day, someone will break his door.

* * *

 **So here's a long chapter! A lot happened in it!**

 **I hope you still like it :)**


	6. Perfect day for a perfect Christmas

**_Chapter 6: Perfect day for a perfect Christmas_**

*'*

It was Christmas. Finally, everybody was visiting their relatives, everybody was happy to have presents and eat good food prepared with a lot of love, and it was better than nothing when it wasn't very good. Everybody was happy.

Temari and Kankuro were gently fighting, preparing the last few things in the house. Temari's stomach was bigger now and she was glowing. Everything was going right with the baby since she stopped working and had time for herself. She felt a lot less stressed and the person she had found to replace her was doing a very good job if she trusted Kankuro.

The baby kicked more and more often and a lot of times Kankuro would put his hands on her stomach and would be all "hey little thing, listen to my voice! I love you already!" and Temari would just roll her eyes and slap his hands slightly with a tender expression Kankuro would not see too busy falsely crying and telling her how much she was mean to him.

Sakura felt so good and happy watching these two idiots. She will never get tired of them. Temari was the love of her life and Kankuro was the best brother in law someone could wish for and Gaara... She frowned. Gaara was late. Really late and he wasn't the type of person who was late.

Now, the happiness was gone and replace by an terrible fear. She wasn't fond of him lately, mostly because of what happened with Naruto and Temari but she cared deeply about him. He wasn't much of a talker, but she liked his presence. Things were more quiet and easy when the younger of the Sabaku was there and he always had this little irony and this terrible humor she liked a lot. She was mad at him, yes, but she missed him at the moment. It's been awhile since she saw him, or the last time she broke his door to tell him a little bit about how life worked in general. Temari and her fought when the blond asked her why Gaara looked like shit after their little encounter. They made up fast, but having Temari screaming at her that if she punched her brother one more time, she will shove her fist up her ass so hard Sakura will never walk again, made things a lot simpler. Of course, they both laughed at the threat, but nonetheless, Sakura didn't want to know if Temari was capable of it. Something told her she wasn't kidding that much.

She knew Temari was extremely worried. She told her that her brother was dangerously thin, most of the time just very angry and violent and she didn't know what to do. He always pushed her and Kankuro away and they were more and more on the verge of giving up.

One hour later, he still wasn't there.

*'*

"Open your mouth..."

Gaara obliged and closed his eyes, letting Kiba put a pill on his tongue. He swallowed it and licked Kiba's finger suggestively.

"Good boy... I want to put something else in your mouth now..."

"Are you always horny?"

"I'm twenty, of course I'm always horny. And you're fucking hot."

Gaara rolled his eyes and adjusted his clothes. He didn't want to go, but he promised Temari he was coming to celebrate Christmas like a normal family.

"Do you really have to leave?" Kiba asked, his hands stroking Gaara's ass.

"Yes and you too. It's Christmas. Go to your family."

"I don't want to see them. They're boring and they will look at me as if I was a freak when they thought I can't see them. And I don't like to pretend."

"Go to them."

Kiba sighed in annoyance. He preferred the company of Gaara. He didn't talk much, but it was okay. Most of the time they just had sex everywhere and got high together. It was better than being alone or with a family that never accepted anything about him. It had gotten worse when they knew he was gay.

"Let's go." Gaara said, opening the door.

The cab was already waiting for him. He turned to Kiba and kissed him goodbye. It surprised him, but he had to admit the young man was growing on him. He wasn't as annoying as he thought. And with him, the loneliness was more bearable and he knew Kiba liked him a lot. He was kind of a friend. With benefits.

"Say hi to your brother for me."

"Why?"

"Well, he's... He's good-looking and he has a beautiful voice and... Oh, forget it, I can see you're just making fun of me."

"It's just a shame you're crushing on the only guy that will never want you."

"Because he's straight?"

"Because he's asexual."

"Is it really a thing?" Kiba asked mostly for himself.

"Apparently."

"Whatever, say hi. And go now before I fucking kidnap you."

Gaara got in the cab, watching the brunet waving at him. He was late and he couldn't care less. The hint of guilt in his heart was just from his imagination.

 _Just a perfect day_ _  
_ _Drink sangria in the park_ _  
_ _And then later, when it gets dark_ _  
_ _We go home_

Gaara closed his eyes, humming softly at Lou Reed's song. It calmed him and made him forget his annoyance for a moment. He had a twenty minutes path before reaching his destination and having good music was always a plus.

 _Just a perfect day  
Feed animals in the zoo  
Then later a movie, too  
And then home _

Slowly, the world was a better place.

*'*

"What did he tell you exactly?"

"That he would come." Temari's voice was cold and anger could be heard in her tone.

"I'm calling him. I will drag him here if I have to. Don't worry, sis." Kankuro reassured her and he dialed Gaara's number when the doorbell rang.

Temari got up and opened the door. Gaara was there, looking like a zombie and he gave her an empty look. His iris were so dilated they were almost black.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"What? I'm here."

 _Oh, it's such a perfect day  
I'm glad I spent it with you  
Oh, such a perfect day  
You just keep me hanging on_

"You're fucking high! I thought you would have the decency of being with us without that shit!"

"I'm not a decent person." he simply replied and walked past her without a look.

"You little... You can't just..." Temari slammed the door. She didn't know what to say anymore. She didn't know how to help him. She hoped that she would be able to help him. She just wanted to have a beautiful Christmas with her brothers.

"Gaara..."

"Don't even start. I don't want to hear something from you mister "I'm fucking perfect"." Gaara interrupted Kankuro with such a violent tone his brother couldn't even find something to say.

He just looked at his brother falling off the sofa and sighed loudly.

"Maybe you should just go home." Sakura's voice was calm, but something threatening was there.

"So why did you invite me?"

"Because we care about you. It's as simple as that. But seeing you like this, clearly saying you don't want to be here either, is not what I want to see for Christmas."

"Yeah, you care so much you can't even look at me sis."

"Don't you dare saying I don't give a fuck about you."

"I just did. You cared so much when dad hit me till I could choke on my own blood."

 _Just a perfect day_ _  
_ _Problems all left alone_ _  
_ _Weekenders on our own_ _  
_ _It's such fun_

A vivid tension was there now. All these years of unsaid things were about to explode.

"You don't want to talk about what dad did." Temari's voice was blank.

"Why not? It wasn't worse than Kankuro pretending to be asleep to not hear anything." Gaara smiled and it was ugly. All his body was tense and his face was disfigured with a mix of rage and hate.

Kankuro knew this wasn't his brother. Gaara wasn't this cruel. He was nice and caring even though he didn't know how to show it. But Kankuro always saw who he was. He was a broken child who've grown being a broken adult, always keeping things to himself to not worry them. He didn't take the reins of the company because he thought he was smarter and more fit for the job, even though he was, but because he wanted to free him and Temari of too much responsibilities.

 _Just a perfect day  
You made me forget myself  
I thought I was someone else  
Someone good _

"You don't know what I did for you so dad didn't..."

"So dad didn't what? Kill me?"

"You wish he just wanted to kill you. It would have been too nice and he was the most horrible person this planet ever had."

"I have a pretty good souvenir, wanna see the scars on my back?"

"Wanna see mine?"

"Please, just stop you two!"

"Why don't you just shut the fuck up? You never said a fucking word! You never moved a fucking finger! You never did anything!" Gaara brutally got up, his fists white because he was squeezing his hands too tight.

 _Oh, it's such a perfect day_ _  
_ _I'm glad I spent it with you_ _  
_ _Oh, such a perfect day_ _  
_ _You just keep me hanging on_

"You know it's not true! I never... Gaara? GAARA!"

But the redhead couldn't hear anything anymore. His head was spinning and his energy was getting out of his body at an amazing race. He couldn't do anything when his knees failed him.

Everything was black.

 _You're going to reap just what you sow_

*'*

It was a very strange sensation to wake up after all this. He remembered all the energy which was rushing out of his body and suddenly nothing at all. He was also high, so very high... He had totally lost control.

"If you wanted to kill yourself, there's a lot of things that are quicker than malnutrition and too much drugs."

He blinked and rolled his head towards the voice. He knew the person, but he wasn't able to put a name on them and his vision was blurry.

"But I forgot that you didn't care about anything except yourself so it's so much better to come into our home, destroying your sister and brother before something else."

He couldn't reply to that. Sakura's face became much clearer.

"Do you remember what happened?"

He remembered losing complete control of himself. He was talking so much and with so much rage. It was as if someone else took over his body. It was all the things he thought he had locked up to never talk about it or think about it ever again.

"I can see it starts to make its way to your brain. I thought that I was clear last time. Next time you hurt someone I love, you will regret it. But I don't know what to do when the person you hurt the most is you. You're the worst thing that could happen to you. What you put yourself through... Why do you hate yourself so much?"

The question was rhetorical. Sakura knew so much about the three of them. She never judged. She just listened and accepted them as they were: broken and useless. But she made Temari smile again and they were having a kid. Kankuro always glowed when she was around them. She wanted to heal their scars and they let her and they were happy.

Gaara never accepted that. He never let her approach him too close. Her kindness, her smile... It was too beautiful to be true. He couldn't let her. He didn't have the right. He couldn't spoil her like he spoiled everything else in this life. He was just a piece of trash that didn't deserve to be alive. He was just good to hurt people and to make them angry and ashamed. He never pleased his father. He was never good enough and his father was right to abuse him. He had no use in this world. He couldn't even keep the person he fall in love with close. Because he wasn't able to tell that he was hurt, that he was sad, that he wanted some things to change.

Then it hit him. How pathetic did he become? Why was he thinking like that? Why the words and actions of his father was still controlling him after all these years? He was dead, but he was still there. The darkness inside his heart was the proof the bastard was still alive. He was still alive because he let him.

 _"You have always been pathetic. You've never been a good listener. Just die and everyone will be relieved"_ The voice laughed sickly.

He felt a hand brushing his tears and the voice away. He couldn't take what that voice told him anymore. He hadn't noticed he was crying. Again. He didn't want to cry anymore. It was too painful and useless.

"I don't know why you can't believe it even for a little bit, but we're here for you. We care about you. We love you. And we will never let you down. You don't like it? Fine. It will never stop me or the two people who are outside the door, praying you will wake up."

He wasn't able to stop crying. Why did they love him that much? He didn't deserve it. He always pushed them away, he never wanted to spend time with them or talk to them. He had done everything he could to make them give up on him because he couldn't stand their love for him. He was not worthy of it.

She got up and left the hospital room and a weird panic rushed into him. He wanted her warmth back, he wanted to hear her voice. But he couldn't move and he had the sensation he was about to die. He was about to cry out loud when he saw his brother entering his room, a worried smile on his face. The brunet sat next to him and took his hand in his own and squeezed it a little.

"You scared us, baby bro. We're not as young as you, our heart can't take it too much."

Kankuro was still trying to joke after all this, but he couldn't laugh and his brother didn't have his heart in it.

He turned his head and he saw Temari who was standing near the door. She seemed to not knowing if she wanted to be in or out. Sakura finally encouraged her to go towards her brother.

She sat next to him on the other side of his bed and didn't dare to look at him.

The silence was so heavy between them, Sakura was almost suffocating.

"Seriously. You just destroyed Christmas. It was so dramatic." Kankuro started, "I mean, you never were a talker, but when you do, wow, you're the king of drama."

Temari looked at his brother scandalized. It wasn't the time to joke. Their little brother was in a hospital bed, so pale even a ghost would envy him and the turkey they prepared together had more meat than Gaara on his bone and Kankuro was joking?

She let out a little laugh. It was so surreal, her nerves were so tensed, she couldn't take it.

"It was on my bucket list though! "Have a terrible Christmas, but still loving your siblings after all", I think we nailed it. One hundred percent."

Temari's laugh was getting louder and Kankuro followed her and soon Sakura joined them. Gaara didn't understand what was happening but their joy made him a little less sad.

This Christmas was a disaster, but they were in it together. Their brother needed their help and they will be here for him.

"You don't have to fight anything alone anymore, Gaara. We are on the same boat and nothing could change that. It's the only thing Rasa has done right. He made us a family."

It was the first time in a long time the name of their father was pronounced out loud. It was a taboo among them. Kind of like Voldemort. But Voldemort was an angel compared to him in his eyes.

"Rest a little now. You will soon be able to go home. We will decide what happens next then."

"Oh, he will go live with me", Kankuro said with his well known self confidence.

"No."

"Oh, it speaks again!"

"Still no."

"Okay, I'll live with you, it's the same to me."

"No."

"He doesn't know what he's saying, he really needs to rest."

"Kanku-"

"Hush now. Sleep", Temari cut him off, "we don't need to decide anything right now."

The hand in his hair felt so nice he didn't say anything and enjoyed the treatment. The world was more and more away and the kiss someone dropped on his forehead was when he fell asleep.

*'*

"I don't like the fact he had to stay alone tonight." Temari was looking through the car's window, not really focusing on anything.

"I know babe, but you need to rest. Hell, we all need it."

"Temari, don't take it all on your shoulders. You're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant, yes, not sick. It's not the same thing Kankuro."

"I know, but you already had a little fear not so long ago. I will take care of Gaara, don't worry."

"I want to do it too!"

"You will. But I will live with him for a while. Not you. I'm not sure you will be okay alone, right sis in law?"

"Not really. I want to be with my babies all the time" Sakura smiled and Temari rolled her eyes but her lips twitched a little.

Sakura kissed her cheek several times. How lucky was she to have a woman as wonderful as her? The pink haired woman was such a blessing. She never left her, even when she made her life a living hell. Sakura always told her she will love her no matter what.

Sakura noticed her lover stroking her belly. "Is she fine?" She asked worryingly.

"Yes. And be careful!" Temari smiled pointing at Kankuro, but the man didn't seem to have heard anything.

Sakura smiled widely, feeling a lot better now. She kissed Temari on the lips, the warmth of happiness once again in her body.

"One of my colleagues will follow Gaara. I'm sure he will never want to go to the hospital and I can get it. It's not the right place for him, he will never get better here." Sakura said after a moment of silence. She had talked to one of the colleague she trusted the most and she was confident it will work.

"I know. But I'm scared he will not want to stop."

"Don't be such a pessimist, sis. I'm sure he's not as stupid as you think" Kankuro smiled, knowing exactly how she was going to react.

"He's not stupid!"

He was so right.

"You have such a brother complex Temari..."

"Shut up Kankuro! I'm not the one who is always threatening everyone who approaches our brother!"

"It's natural to do that!"

"Yeah, right. You have a brother complex, not me."

"Okay children, hush now!" Sakura tried to make them stop fighting.

"You're not my mother, Sakura!" Kankuro whined.

"Yeah, he's right. I don't want you to become like that with me." Temari added.

Sakura gave them an annoyed look. She could understand why Gaara never wanted to see them outside of work.

They were impossible together.

* * *

 **Well, things can finally move!**

 **Will Gaara finally stop being a fucking stubborn child?**

 **You will know it next week!**


	7. Happy New Year

Chapitre 7:

*'*

Gaara was out of the hospital a few days later. His head was killing him after his appointment with his doctor. He had some medicine to take, a lot more of appointments with him and got the number of a therapist because apparently, it could help a lot with his addiction and other problems. He had understood clearly that the doctor was implying he had depression. He had given him an empty look, but in the depth of his soul, he was just telling him to go fuck himself.

He waited for Kankuro who told him he was going to pick him up. He and Temari had visited him every day he was at the hospital and Sakura always said hello and took time to see him and talked to him about anything. He now knew she wanted to name her daughter Sarada, that she really couldn't stand the nurse who was working with her every Monday morning and that she hated the coffee there. A lot of unimportant information in sum.

"You look like shit."Kankuro said to him once he was there. He was parked a few steps from here and he was clearly tired.

"Thank you, Kankuro. You always know what to say to me."

Kankuro gave him a small smile and they went to the car. The ride was quiet, something Gaara didn't think his brother could do. Kankuro was one of the most talkative guy he knew. Besides Naruto. His heart ached a little at the thought of the blond and he closed his heart. He didn't want to think about him now.

When they finally arrived, he let the brunet enter his apartment and didn't pay much attention to him after that. He wanted to take a shower and sleep. His body was killing him, he was sleepy and he didn't want to do anything.

"I'm going to take a shower."

"Okay, I'm cooking for you tonight, I think you will love what I will make." Kankuro smiled and Gaara just shrugged.

After the shower, he put on some clothes as pajamas, took his blanket and he sat on his couch, the television on, and he pretended to watch some shows not paying attention to his brother who was humming God knows what song.

"I know you're pretending. You will never watch reality shows on purpose."

Silence responded to Kankuro's statement.

"I'm going to stay with you tonight."

"No."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're..."

"We can go on forever but it's not interesting. You're so thin, you're going to break if I touch you." Kankuro added, still shocked by this fact.

"So don't touch me."

He heard Kankuro chuckled and noises coming from his kitchen. It's been days that he didn't eat anything good. The food at the hospital was terrible. Sakura sometimes brought him something, but he rarely was hungry to eat. But she always stayed by his side, patiently waiting for him to eat the thing. She was a terrible bully. She smiled all the time and was very proud when she saw the last bite being swallowed. The fact she will make a great mom was all he thought at the time.

He wasn't hungry at all though.

The smell of gizzard made his mouth water a little.

Maybe he was eating something tonight after all.

*'*

Kankuro was still here. Gaara really tried to kick him out, but Kankuro was very stubborn. He just cleaned their plates, still humming some stupid songs and now he was in Gaara's bed, hugging his brother very hard. Even though Gaara tried to escape, it was an impossible thing to do. His brother was so much stronger than him, he was just his hostage.

Kankuro was enjoying it a lot. It was fun to see Gaara that upset but not really trying to make him leave. He was sure his brother was too proud to just say that he was glad Kankuro was taking care of him.

The hug didn't feel as bad as Gaara thought though. It was nice having the heat of somebody else, even if it was his big brother's. It somehow calmed him.

"So, did you take your medicine?"

"No."

"Gaara, you..."

"I don't need it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm not an addict. I just forgot to eat since Naruto left."

"Okay. They're in the kitchen though, if you need anything."

"I won't."

*'*

He didn't even recalled when he fell asleep but he woke up, his body craving for relief. He was still in Kankuro's arms. He needed to break free but he couldn't. He needed to take something. His members were hurting him bad, his stomach ached and he was hot.

He started to wriggled and Kankuro woke up.

"What's happening?" his brother mumbled sleepily.

"Let. Me. Go."

"No, I'm not."

"JUST FUCKING LET ME GO!"

The shout surprised the brunet who let go of his brother. With a speed he didn't think the red head would have, Gaara got up, took something in his drawer and ran into the bathroom.

Fear spread into Kankuro's veins and he tried to follow his baby brother but it was too late.

"Please Gaara, don't do this!"

"SHUT UP"

Gaara's breathing was hard and unfocused. The pill was in his hand and a part of his brain was just screaming for it.

"Please, don't do this! I beg you. Look at you. It's been so long that you're not well. If you keep going, you will die." Kankuro's voice broke and tears was running down his cheek.

"Please, come back to me."

The weak voice of his brother made him hesitate. He wanted the drug to make him feel good. But the despair in Kankuro's voice was so real. He didn't know what to do.

"Please, open the door."

Gaara obeyed a few minutes later. The pill and bag of crystal were on the sink, untouched. He curled up on the floor and he started trembling. Kankuro's warmth was back a few seconds later.

"It's going to be okay."

"No, it' not."

"Yes it is. I'm with you."

Gaara couldn't help but cry.

*'*

"Gaara?"

Kankuro emerged slightly of his sleep and he heard noises coming from the bathroom. He opened his eyes and Gaara's drawer was wide open.

Adrenaline spread at full speed in his body and he ran to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?! I thought..." Kankuro didn't finish his sentence. Gaara was throwing some thing in his toilet and flushing it multiple times.

"It's time."

"Yes. I'm here for you."

"I will not go to the hospital though. Sakura's friend kept telling me it was the best for me, I refuse to go there."

"Okay."

"I will need help."

"Okay."

"Would you...?" Gaara couldn't finish his sentence nor looking directly at Kankuro.

"I'm going to live with you as long as you need me."

He took Gaara in his arm.

His baby brother was going to be okay.

He will make sure of it.

"I'm a liar, you know."

"You're not good at it. I know you too well."

"Naruto thought so too."

"I'm not Naruto. I will be less gentle than him."

"Thank you."

"Anytime Gaara. Anytime. Now, I think it's time to see what your medicine has to say."

They stayed in the bathroom forever, Kankuro protecting Gaara with his body, murmuring all kind of comforting thing.

Everything was going to be okay.

Everything.

*'*

"Really? I'm happy to hear that. Yeah, thanks Kankuro, I will tell Temari. Okay, bye."

Sakura hung up the phone and sighed. Kankuro really was a good brother.

"Sakura...? Who was it?"

"Kankuro. He just told me Gaara was ready to cope with his problems. Kankuro will stay with him now. He said he was going to manage to work at Gaara's."

Temari just smiled and sat on the stairs. She was tired and so relieved, her legs were too weak to stand up.

"He can't do everything alone. He can't sacrifice himself like that. I will help too."

"You have to take it easy."

"I know. But I still can be with Gaara one or two days a week."

"You sure? I will try to be there too."

"Really? Thank you honey, you're the best."

"I know..." Sakura smirked sitting next to Temari.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Temari suddenly asked, leaning against Sakura, closing her eyes.

"Yes. I love you too, Temari." Sakura hugged her lover and kissed her hair.

They stayed a moment like this, in the silence of their home. Temari had a hand on her stomach and soon the hand of Sakura was on hers.

"Temari..."

"Yes?"

"We're going to have a baby ~"

"Moron."

*'*

Naruto stared into space, not paying attention to the show that was on tv. The past few weeks had been hard. He couldn't help but think about a certain redhead who always made his heart tightened in agony. Tears were now in his eyes. He pressed his lips together, trying to contain them and it was hard.

Christmas had been a nightmare. He hadn't been able to forget what happened and Jiraya literally harassed him to know the name of the awful woman who had dared to break his heart. He had wanted to yell at him that he couldn't care less about women. Instead he just had said the first name that crossed his mind and his Godfather had told him he would help him find another chick and Naruto had wanted to throw his glass of wine at him but he had just smiled, embarrassed.

Lying to his family was harder now. He was tired of it and he wanted so much to tell them about Gaara. But it was too late now and he will never have the guts to announce it alone.

He stopped daydreaming when he felt his phone rang. A part of him hoped it was Gaara. But Gaara didn't make calls, he only texted. He tried to not pay attention to it, but at the third attempt he answered the phone.

"Yes?"

"Oh, finally! Hi Naruto! How have you been? How's your holidays?"

"I've known better. How's yours Ino?"

"Just great, I'm all lovey-dovey with my girl! Oh, don't blush honey, you're so cute like that..." Naruto could hear a little cry of embarrassment "Hum, anyway, are you free for New Year?"

"Yes, but..."

"Great! My friend said to me I could come with anyone I want. So I thought that being with you and Hinata would be great to start another year!"

"Ino, I'm not sure I want to see people right now."

"Come on! You're so gloomy since you broke up with Gaara! It will do you some good! I promise if you really don't want to be there, I will drive you home!"

"Ino..."

"Naruto. I really like you, I only want what's good for you. So listen to me. Come party with me, you will not regret it."

"Okay, I will try."

"Cool! Maybe you will meet some handsome young men and will go back home with one of them..."

"I'm really not interested."

"We'll see. I gotta go, Hinata is so cute, I got to kiss her and make lo..."

"I don't want to hear it. Bye Ino!"

He hung up, relieved that he did. Since Ino knew he was gay, they became close and he was happy that he made a friend like her. But she was so honest, it was embarrassing most of the time. He also envied her. Ino and Hinata were really cute together and they were obviously very much in love and they weren't shy about it at all, even though Hinata was a very reserved person. She didn't care about what other people could think about her. He admired her for that.

He realized soon that he had accepted to go out for a New Year party. He sighed loudly. He regretted it already. Originally, he had everything planned with Sakura. But he hadn't much news lately, since he broke up with Gaara and the last time they spoke was to tell him she couldn't be with him to celebrate the new year with him. It was always a busy time for her at the end of the year, but a part of him couldn't help but think it was because of what happened to his ex boyfriend. After all, Temari was her girlfriend, soon wife and mother of her child and it made sense she couldn't take his side. It still hurt though. She was his best friend and he loved her with all his heart and he needed her too.

He let himself sank into his sofa.

He really didn't want to go.

*'*

"You're not even trying!"

"I just want to go home, Ino!"

"Come on, we're here since ten minutes only! You're not making any effort!"

Naruto was annoyed and her friend really got on his nerve. He wanted to be at home, have some peace and just cry over his ex boyfriend that he was missing like crazy. All he wanted was to kiss his redhead at midnight, but it was not going to happen and it made him angry.

"Here, take a beer. If in twenty minutes you're still grumpy I will drive you home. I promise. I will not drink until then."

"Okay..." Naruto gave up grabbing the bottle his friend offered him. He took a sip and he had to admit it was good to feel the sweet bitterness down his throat. Maybe after two or three, people will be less irritating.

They weren't though. Someone was always trying to talk to him and he wasn't in the mood to talk at all. He didn't even know the guy who was throwing the party. A certain Sai or something like that. He was standing alone near the door and he checked his phone. He finally smiled for the first time when he saw he had a text from Sakura.

 _Before the network is blocked, happy New Year. How's your party? I love you._

 _ **Happy New Year, Sakura. It's just boring. I miss you. Love you too.**_

 _Aw, I'm sure it will get better! If you want I could try to come to your apartment later. We will not last long here._

 _ **Oh? Why?**_

 _Well we're all pretty tired._

 _ **I see. How is Gaara's doing?**_

Naruto knew he shouldn't ask, but he was too weak, he needed to have some news.

 _I'm not sure it's a good idea to tell you, but I won't lie to you. He was in hospital for a few days. He's not in a good shape. He's really tired._

His heart raced at the news. What happened to Gaara? Before he could type anything, someone took his phone and a small shout of surprise slipped from his lips.

"Ino! What the hell?!"

"Go have fun, stop being on your phone!"

"I do what I want!" Naruto said, trying to have his phone back.

"Naruto? Is it really you?" a familiar voice asked, interrupting Ino and Naruto's fight.

The blond turned his head over the man he knew very well once.

"Sa... Sasuke? Wh-what are you doing here?"

"I'm a friend of Sai. I see that you still like being noticed."

"She stole my phone! I wasn't going to let her go!"

"He was sulking since we got here I had to do something! Who are you by the way?" Ino asked the brunet who was certainly charming. A bit arrogant, but charming. Naruto truly attracted that type of guy.

"Sasuke and I met in college. We were friends."

"Oh right friends... You're still there, huh?" Sasuke said giving him an arrogant look.

"Oh, so he's an ex, I see" Ino said, raising his thumb discreetly at Naruto and winking at him with a stupid face.

"You finally came out?"

"It was obvious."

"Ino, shut up and go away." Naruto said, trying to be impressive.

"Okay, okay, I leave you two alone!" His friend said, winking at him. She clearly was a little drunk.

"Still hanging out with the weird kids, huh?" Sasuke smirked with a mocking attitude

"Still an arrogant prick, huh?" Naruto replied with saltiness.

Sasuke chuckled and Naruto blushed a little. He almost forgot that Sasuke existed and how handsome he was. Sasuke was the one who broke his heart so many years ago and the one that made everything possible with Gaara. His heart hurt, but he brushed the feeling away.

"I missed you, Naruto. So, what are you doing now?" Sasuke asked, smiling, his mask of arrogance falling.

Naruto smiled back and he started chatting with the brunet and a warmth grew inside him.

Maybe the party wasn't a total waste after all.

*'*

"3...2...1... Happy New Year!"

Temari hugged Sakura's neck with her arms and kissed her with a smile.

"Happy New Year, Baby..." Sakura whispered into Temari's ear, making the blond shivering.

The two of them were so happy, Gaara could vomit rainbows just by looking at them. Then they started flirting with the delicacy of an elephant and he rolled his eyes. He was jealous, he knew that. If he hadn't fucked up, he would be like this too.

His thoughts were shattered by his brother who took him in his arm, kissing his forehead.

"Happy New Year, Gaara..." Kankuro said, kissing his cheek now.

"I'm not a child, I don't need you to kiss me like that."

"You're definitively a child."

"Am not."

"Are too!"

"Can you shut it you two?"

"Don't start with the mother thing, Sakura!"

"I do what I want!"

"No, you're not!"

"Yes, I am!"

"Stop it!"

"Temari, don't start with the..."

"I'm going to bed."

"Gaara, don't, stay with us!" Kankuro pleaded, his arms surrounding his brother's waist.

"Let go of me" Gaara threatened, trying to escape from his brother. "Seriously, Kankuro!" he hit Kankuro's head, but it still wasn't enough. "I'm just really tired." Gaara finally said.

"Really? Okay, I'm going to be there soon." Kankuro reassured him.

"Don't bother, I can sleep alone." Gaara got up, blushing. He wasn't a child, his brother was a real pain to want to be always with him.

"But you have nightmares every night..."

"Shut up, I'm going to bed!"

"Good night Gaara" Sakura smiled, amused by the two brothers. She found them really cute sometimes.

"Good night" Temari kissed his forehead and it made the redhead blushing even more. He really hated when they spend time together. Especially after everything that happened.

In a way, it also calmed him. His body was always hurting him, he barely slept at night and when he did, nightmares always welcomed him. His body and mind were just asking for one thing and if Kankuro wasn't there, he would have drowned once again. He never thought it would be this hard. But every time he woke up, the brunet was there, making him some breakfast. He knew Gaara will barely eat but every morning, he was there, smiling, humming, being happy and it was horrible, terrible, disgusting but it felt nice. When he had nightmares, the voice of Kankuro always told him it was okay. When Temari was there, she was always giving him small hugs, telling him jokes, talking to him about the baby, about Sakura, the company and it was boring, dull, unbearable. But it felt so nice. And Gaara didn't like it at all. He didn't like the fact a part of him was craving for it and wanted it to never end.

Once he was under his blanket, wrapped like a maki, sure that nothing from the outside could hurt him, he closed his eyes. His mind slowly drowned and the image of a certain person came into his mind and his heart ached. He buried himself a little more in his bed and hugged his legs, silently crying.

 _Happy New Year, Naruto._

 _*'*_

"3...2...1... Happy New Year!"

Naruto watched Ino and Hinata kissing, a bit drunk, but definitively happy and he felt alone. What was Gaara doing now? A sad smile on the lips, he looked away and his eyes locked with Sasuke's. Before he could say anything, the hand of the brunet cupped his cheek, stroking it absent-mindedly. He didn't try to get away. It felt nice and it was the nicest feeling he felt for a while.

Naruto closed his eyes when the face of Sasuke came closer, knowing what will happen. They had passed the entire party together, getting closer physically the more they drank their beers so it was the logical outcome.

The kiss was soft, smelt and tasted like alcohol, but he didn't care for the moment. For a second, his mind let him fantasize and he was sharing this moment with a beautiful redhead who would have moaned slightly at the touch. But the sighed was definitely not his and he hold back the tears that was forming in his eyes.

"Well, well, well, happy New Year, Casanova!" Ino said, pecking him.

Naruto rolled his eyes but smiled at his friends.

 _Happy New Year, Gaara._

* * *

 **So, in a way, it's the end of the first part of this fic. I wrote it quite quickly, it was something!**

 **I hope you all don't hate me too much. I promise a happy end, don't forget it!**

 **See you next week :** )


	8. Chapter 8

"I swear, if he's dead, I'm gonna kill him anyway" mumbled Kiba to himself, freezing on his way to Gaara's place.

It has been a while since he had seen the redhead and he was missing him. The club was an empty place without him and a lot of weird guys tried to hit on him but he didn't care. Especially when they dared to offer him money for it. Fucking bastards.

His heart was beating a bit faster when he was in front of Gaara's door. It was stupid, everything was going to be alright. He knocked at the door and he never thought things were gong to be like this.

Kiba's heart stopped for a moment. The very half naked Kankuro had opened the door. He could tell he just had finished his shower. Water was running down his body and hair and a towel around his waist was hiding what Kiba thought could be a very interesting thing to see. He suddenly wanted to lick Kankuro's torso and touched the perfect abs he had. God, how this man was beautifully muscular. It was the perfect amount to Kiba's eyes. He wanted to discover this body with his hands and mouth and to enjoy the sounds that would escape Kankuro's perfect lips.

The man didn't seem to understand what was going on Kiba's mind. He was looking at him confused. He had forgotten him and it somehow made him a little upset.

"I'm Kiba, we met once a few weeks ago...

"Hm? Oh, yes of course, I'm sorry a lot happened since then! Gaara, your boyfriend is here!" Kankuro shouted, making a few steps back to let the young man enter the apartment.

"I don't have a boyfriend." a flat voice answered, obviously annoyed by the statement.

"Well, that's not a nice thing to say after what we did", Kiba falsely pouted, giving Gaara an upset look.

"Yeah, still not my boyfriend."

"Gaara, be nice!"

"I'm not a child. Don't talk to me like that. And put some clothes on."

"Sorry, he's just grumpy today... Would you like something to drink? There's some coffee left, but I can make you something else if you want."

How could this perfect man be more perfect?

"Coffee is perfect, just like y... Hum, coffee will be good."

"Okay, go make yourself comfortable, I will bring you a cup of coffee."

"Kankuro. Go. Put. Some. Clothes. ON. Now."

"You're so mean to me Gaara! Fine, fine, I'll go do that! Bring him coffee. You're a terrible host." Kankuro sighed, going in the bedroom.

"You're a terrible guest." Gaara replied.

"So, can I have my coffee?"

"Yes. What are you doing here?"

"I missed you, moron! You never text me or else and the last time we saw each other was on Christmas. I wanted to party with you on New Year but you didn't respond neither! You don't come in the club anymore so I was afraid something happened to you. But you're still the same!"

"You talk too much. And you asked too much question." Gaara said, giving him his coffee.

"You're no fun! What about tonight we will go to the club together? I have some things you would like a lot... " Kiba smiled mischievously, "do you have some sugar?"

Gaara held him some sugar, but didn't respond. He was scared all of a sudden. It was a while now he didn't touch anything. Maybe it would be okay, now? No. He couldn't. Not anymore. Without noticing it, his breathing had become erratic. A part of him wanted it so much.

"Are you okay?" Kiba asked, concerned.

"Yes. And no. I will not come with you over there."

"Why?" Kiba pouted, hoping that him being cute would be enough. And of course it wasn't.

"Because I stopped."

"Really? You? Wow. But why?"

"Because."

"Can you just give me a real answer one day?"

"No?"

"You're fucking impossible! So can we go somewhere else?"

"No."

"You're really mean... Why did I miss you that much?"

"I don't know. I didn't miss you at all."

It wasn't true, though. Even if a lot of things had happened, which he mostly wanted to forget about, Kiba wasn't the worst thing of all. At all. Somehow he reminded him of Naruto. He was full of life and he reacted the same way at his jokes.

"What? Hey... You're shitting with me! You have a terrible humor."

"You're not the first one to tell me."

"They were all right before me! So, go out with me tonight? It could be our first date!" Kiba laughed at Gaara's annoyed expression. "I'm kidding! I just want to spend some time with you!"

"Why don't you ask Kankuro?"

"What? But... We don't know each other and I mean.. I-we-well-why not... Stop trying to joke it's terrible!"

Gaara smiled and patted the brunet's head.

"I'm not a dog, stop doing that! And you still don't answer my question."

"I'm tired. I'm staying here. My sister will come to bore me to death so I will sleep right away."

"You have a sister? Is she as beautiful as you two are? Why are they staying with you? It's weird."

"Because."

"Okay, I will not have anything else, huh?" The irritated glare Gaara sent him answer his question. "Well, try to give me news more often, so I don't worry about an ass like you."

"We'll see." The redhead tried to keep a straight face when Kiba stuck out his tongue at him. He could feel it now. Being only around Temari, Kankuro and Sakura was nice, but driving him a little crazy too. He will definitely text Kiba at least to talk to him a little. And to mess with him. It really was a funny thing to do.

"So, I'm all dressed, am I appropriate enough for you, Prince Gaara?" Kankuro bowed at his brother who was ignoring him, "hey stop doing that, it's mean!"

"I'm always mean, if I believe what you say."

"Yes, you are! And cute too, so it's okay. I heard something about a drink, you two are going out?" Kankuro asked, frowning. He didn't like the idea at all. "I don't think it's –"

"No, I'm not." Gaara interrupted his brother. "I'm tired and I don't think it's a good idea yet."

Kankuro smiled and ruffled his brother's hair a little more. Gaara really was doing his best.

"That's my baby brother. I'm proud of you. So, I'm all for beers", he added looking directly at Kiba who was furiously blushing, "is this a problem?"

He saw the young man giving a desperate look at his brother, asking somehow for help and Gaara was strangely looking everywhere except at his friend who didn't know where to hide.

"W-why not, well, hum, I don't know the area well, so..."

"I do! Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you." _I wish you would though_ , Kiba thought and he blushed a little more if it was possible.

"Okay, let's do that!" Kiba was smiling like an idiot, completely red. Kankuro didn't know he was that intimidating. The talk will be easy with this one.

"Hi guys, I'm here! Why is the door unlocked? Seriously Kankuro, I thought you would have taught him how important it is!"

"I tried, but he has a bad influence on me, sis!"

"Yeah yeah, right! Oh, hi there! Who are you?"

"Gaara's new boyfriend, Kiba." Kankuro answered before Kiba could say anything.

"Really? Oh well, nice to meet you." Temari smiled a little embarrassed. She was team Naruto, as she said herself and it was weird to see his brother with someone else.

"He's not my boyfriend."

"I'm not his boyfriend."

"Look at how shy they are! Isn't it cute? Isn't Gaara so much cuter when he's like that?" Kankuro asked, hugging his brother tightly.

"You really have a brother complex... Let him be, it's my turn to hug!"

"And I'm the one with a complex?"

"Yes, completely!"

"You really are annoying!"

"Shut up. You are both annoying as hell. And you, stop laughing." Gaara said, looking how Kiba was trembling from trying not to laugh out loud.

"Come on Gaara, they're funny! Fighting for you like that, it must be nice!"

"Not really."

"I would like it if my sister were like that... Anyway, maybe it's time to leave," he turned to Kankuro, "I don't want to die. He can be really scary."

"It's all an act, don't worry. Okay, okay, we're leaving!" Kankuro laughed at the look Gaara was giving him. "See you Monday, baby bro!"

"Don't forget to text me asshole!" Kiba added.

And with these words, both men were out of his apartment. Finally.

"So, happy Kankuro is not here anymore?"

"Yes. But now you're here."

"Oh Gaara... You know I need more than that to get angry" Temari grinned and sat on the couch. "So, you have a new boyfriend?"

"No, I don't."

"Who is he, then?"

"A friend."

"You. You have a friend? And I thought I will never be shocked again. I was so wrong."

"Shut up."

*'*

"Where are we going?"

"Stop complaining like a child, we're almost there."

"It is so long..."

"We're walking since three minutes! Now be quiet!"

Kiba pouted and walked alongside Kankuro in silence. He looked out at Kankuro and he smiled slightly. Kankuro really was one of the most beautiful man he ever met and the idea of taking a drink with him, it was kind of exciting.

"Here we are!"

Kankuro held the door for him and he shyly entered the bar. It was quite normal. But it felt very different from the one he used to go to. It was calm, they were not a lot of people yet, the music wasn't really loud, nobody knew him and all the faces were new.

They find a table in the back away from prying eyes.

"What to you want to drink?"

"A beer will be good" Kiba answered weakly. He had the impression they were on a date and he never had been on a date before. How was it supposed to go?

"Which one?"

"Whatever. The one you'll take."

Kankuro nodded and he went to the bar to order the drink. A few seconds later he came back with two pints and it was with a satisfied sighed Kankuro enjoyed the first sip.

"God it's so good..."

"You really like your beer, huh?"

"It's been three weeks since the last one! And I need some, believe me!"

"Why? Something's wrong?"

"Well with Gaara it's not always easy and... Hey, we're not here to talk about me and my brother. We're to talk about you and my brother."

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

"If you hurt him, I will kick your ass. You're his boyfriend, you have to protect him and..."

"I'm not his boyfriend."

"What? But he told me that... Well, you two... You know..."

"Yeah, we had sex", Kiba could sense that Kankuro tensed a little at the words and he wondered why, "doesn't mean we're together. And it happened quite a long time ago, now. We're friends. Without benefits. It's a first for me."

"Wow, my baby bro has a friend. I never thought he would be capable of it. I'm so proud, he grew up so fast!"

"Isn't he like... Twenty five?"

"Yes, but nonetheless, it's a first."

"Seriously? Well, after all he's the first friend I have with whom I don't have to have sex to keep contact..."

"Oh, it's good." Once again, Kiba noticed the slight grip Kankuro gave to his glass. He really wasn't used to talk about that, he could sense it.

"Why, you want me for yourself alone?" Kiba joked winking at him.

"Not interested."

"You really are asexual? Gaara told me about it. You really never had sex?"

"None of your business." He didn't want to talk about it now or ever. It always made him ill at ease as if his brain was trying to tell him something he couldn't quite understand.

"Come on, not even once? I'm sure you did! Wasn't it good?" Kiba was really, really annoying now. He was acting like most of the people reacted when he said something like that. It was better just to say he was single, but some people took it at an invitation to hit on him. It was so annoying, he got him angry every time.

"So, how did you meet Gaara?" Kankuro changed the subject suddenly as if he hadn't heard Kiba at all. It was better that way.

"Well, at a club."

"The club when he got high?"

"Yes... He didn't come anymore though. That's why I came today, I was worried."

"So you knew..."

"Knew what?"

"He was doing drugs?"

"Oh, yes. We took some together actually."

"He will never touch any of it ever again."

"I guessed. Something bad happen? He didn't want to answer me earlier."

"Well, he could have died. Maybe if you really were his friend, you would have known."

Kankuro didn't seem like the cheerful, loving brother he was. His face was darkened, his voice deep, almost angry.

"Hey, if I knew he couldn't bare it, I would never have done anything with him!But he was always strangely calm and confident, so I thought..." Kiba was so shocked by the change of attitude he didn't even understand what Kankuro meant by "could have died". Anger was rushing into his veins. He didn't like to be accused of something that wasn't his fault.

"You thought it was okay to take advantage of him."

"I never do that! Never! I'm not some kind of fucking asshole! I never tried to do anything with him when I knew he had a boyfriend!" _more or less,_ Kiba thought.

"It's not what I heard. And it didn't take you long to go after him right away."

"Yes and so what? Who are you to fucking judge me anyway? You have no rights to do that!"

"He's my brother, I have..."

"No rights at all over him. You know what? You're here for him, that's great and he's fucking lucky. But I didn't force him to do shit. He did because he wanted to, we had sex because he wanted to. I didn't come here to be lectured by a guy who can't even get it up and who thinks I'm a slut!" Kiba panted heavily. He was so angry. Fuck, he would have emptied his beer on Kankuro's head if there were not so many people now.

Before Kankuro could respond, the music became louder and it hurt his ear a little. He knew he should have apologized, but a part of him was just stubborn.

"I'm outta here. You pay for it."

"Kiba, wait!"

But the young man was already gone.

*'*

 _For fuck's sake, your brother is a real ASSHOLE!_

Gaara raised one of his nonexistent eyebrows. He knew since quite a long time that his brother was a pain in the ass, but Kiba was crushing so hard he never thought the young man could have seen the truth about Kankuro. At least that fast.

 _ **What happened?**_

 _He said that I took advantage of you._

 _ **Don't listen to him. He is an idiot.**_

 _But Gaara... What happened to you? He said you nearly died..._

 _ **He loves to exaggerate.**_

 _Tell me, when did it happened and what happened._

 _ **I collapsed on Christmas. I was not eating enough. That's all.**_

 _If it is really all, why don't you come anymore?_

 _ **I don't want to talk about it.**_

 _Gaara... Please._

 _ **No.**_

 _Is it because of what I gave you that day? I'm so sorry._

 _ **No. Don't be. It was all my fault**._

 _But I gave you this. I often offered you things._

 _ **I let you. Stop feeling guilty.**_

 _But I have my share of responsibility._

 _ **You start to be as annoying as Kankuro.**_

 _Hey! Not nice! I'm still sorry though._

 _ **Go to sleep.**_

 _It's 10 pm_

 _ **Kids should sleep.**_

 _You're an ass._

Gaara smiled and Temari looked at him mockingly.

"Stop."

"I didn't say anything!" she said innocently.

"Your look."

"It's because you were laughing. In your own way. I found it cute! You were talking to Kiba? Oh yes, you were! So not a boyfriend?"

"No. Friend. I'm still in love with Naruto."

Temari smiled gently. "I see", was all she said and her attention went back to her laptop.

 _Gaara, I'm sorry, I think I upset your friend. Can you give me his number so I could apologize to him?_

Gaara sighed a bit irritated, but he sent him the number anyway. He didn't have the strength to have an argument with Kankuro.

"I'm going to bed."

"Wow, Grandpa much?"

"I'm tired. I barely sleep."

"Is it getting better?"

"Yes. But the nightmares..."

"Don't worry, I will wake you up."

"You don't have to sleep in my bed."

"You will let a pregnant woman sleep in your couch? You monster!"

"Do what you want." Gaara finally gave up and rolled his eyes when he saw the self satisfied look on Temari's face.

She had won the battle and certainly the war too.

*'*

 _Hi Kiba, it's Kankuro. I wanted to say that I was sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. It wasn't right. How can I make it up to you? Good night._

Kiba was laying down on his bed. Strangely enough, after Gaara told him to go to bed, he did. He didn't know why but he did. And it was very weird. The ring tone of his phone woke him up and he felt a little glad Kankuro felt like shit after what he did and mostly because he asked Gaara his number. The older man was an ass, but a good-looking one and not so bad either.

 _ **Well, you should invite me on a date. And pay for all of it.**_

 _You're serious?_

 _ **Yes, very.**_

 _I'm still not interested, you know._

 _ **I'm joking. I just want to show you how much you were wrong about me.**_

 _I certainly am. When are you free?_

 _ **Anytime for you.**_

 _It will be a little complicated for me this week. How about Wednesday of next week?_

 _ **That's fine by me.**_

 _Good night, kiddo._

 ** _Good night, asshole_.**

Kiba couldn't stop grinning like the idiot he was. He was going to make Kankuro regret all the things he had said and more. He was so excited he sent a text to Gaara. But he got no response. Was he really that tired? He will totally investigate what happened. What Kankuro told him made him worry a lot about his friend. He couldn't tell why, but he really liked Gaara. There was something about him that touched him, in every way one of his thoughts added, and he wanted to be there for him. Not because he could have sex or anything else. He genuinely cared about him.

 _You should sleep. I don't care what you will do with my brother. Good night._

Kiba smiled and Morpheus took him.

* * *

 **So Kiba and Kankuro are starting to hang out, huh?**

 **I wonder what will happen!**

 **I hope you still enjoy this story :)**

 **See you next week!**


	9. Wonderful Dreams

_Wonderful Dreams_

*'*

 _He was on the floor, he could feel the blood drying on his skin and clothes. Breathing was hard and his body was so numb he hadn't the energy to move a bit._

 _He saw a shadow in the distance and his heart started to beat furiously in his ears. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly, closed his eyes as hard as he could and waited. There was nothing else to do. He will never be able to escape him. Never. He tried and it got him nearly killed and crazy._

 _He waited and waited for the pain to come, but it never did. He opened his eyes and he saw Temari smiling gently at him, her body covered with bruises. Blood was running down her legs and her clothes were in bad shape. She offered him a helping hand and he reached for her, shivering. The shadow was closer now, but she didn't seem to care at all._

 _She turned her back on the shadow and she softly stroked his cheek. Then, she hugged him and he let himself breathe a little. He forgot all about the shadow, all about the pain. Now he felt calmer and even loved. Suddenly, he felt her tense and he opened his eyes._

 _She wasn't hugging him, she was protecting him. She was his armor. The shadow was beating the shit out of her back over and over again but she didn't scream. She just pulled him closer into her arms and greeted her teeth as strong as she could. Her eyes were closed and she started humming a song._

 _"It's okay Gaara, nothing can touch you" her voice seemed distant, as if she was far away from him. "He will never hurt you again. I will make sure of it."_

 _But he couldn't bare it. He started to wiggle and he finally managed to get out of her embrace. She tried to keep him close to her but, he ran away._

 _"Gaara, don't! Don't you dare touch him!"_

 _He knew she wasn't talking to him anymore and he looked back. The shadow was heading to him fast and fear rushed into him._

 _He ran and ran to eventually crossing Kankuro's path. His brother caught his wrist._

 _"You don't have to run. I will hold him back. He will never hurt you again."_

 _And he saw Kankuro being eaten by the shadow. His brother fought with all he had and in what seemed to be an eternity, he disappeared with it behind a door._

 _Without any second thought, Gaara rushed over it and tried to open it, with no success. Screams of terror and pain were more and more louder and when he finally was able to open the door and he froze. He had to help Kankuro. He couldn't stay here and hear him scream like that._

 _"Don't."_

 _Temari closed the door and hugged him again from behind._

 _"Don't go through that door."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Some things had to be forgotten"_

 _The screams became sobs and then it was over._

 _"It's okay now. Gaara... Gaara? Are you okay? Gaara you're crying! Gaara! GAARA!"_

He opened his eyes and he could feel his lungs searching for air. His fists were tearing the sheet of the bed apart. Cold and calm hands took them and soothed them.

"Gaara, it's okay, I'm with you."

"Te... Temari?" Speaking was hurtful to him and the panic didn't make it any easier. Tears salted his mouth and he couldn't even see her clearly.

"Yes, I am here. Everything is okay...", she softly whispered, stroking his head. The touch tensed him more and she stopped. "It was just a nightmare. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. I'm here. I'm protecting you."

"Why? Why do you... Do you always do that?" He panted, still crying and he reached for her arms and she welcomed him instantly.

She stroked his back slowly and she could feel the wetness of the tears that was running down the cheek of her brother.

"It's my job as a big sister. It was just a nightmare, it wasn't real."

"You were there. You were trying to protect me."

"See, I'm even Wonder Woman in your dreams!"

"There was... A shadow... It was... It was dad... I know that, I couldn't... Temari, Kankuro was... He... Dad was..."

"Shh, calm down. Kankuro is fine. Dad is dead. Everything is alright now." She hoped she was convincing enough. The mention of their father tensed her up and sick memories were rushing inside her mind.

She closed her eyes for a second and breathe calmly. Rasa will never hurt them again. He was dead and he will never be able to do anything to her or her brothers ever again. Seeing Gaara like this made her want to kill him even though he was already buried deep in the ground.

"There was a door and you didn't want me to open it. But he was screaming... Temari he... Why you..."

"Gaara, listen to me. Listen to my voice. Breath. Yes, like that. Breathe in. Breathe out." She felt him relaxed a little in her arms and smiled at him gently. He looked like a child. A terrified child. It broke her heart. "You see, everything is fine. Go back to sleep."

He nodded weakly and fell asleep almost right away.

She couldn't. Gaara was still so fragile. She could see he never moved on. Not like Kankuro or her. For the first time since all hell broke loose, she understood why he had given up and chose the path he had. Living with this fear and pain all the time wasn't possible.

She closed her eyes and she tried to deal with the guilt that was knotting her stomach. She thought she had protected him enough. But in the end, she never had done it right. Gaara was still a traumatized child at twenty five years old and Kankuro had to put up with their father when they left. He had to take care of a man that never acknowledge him and was eating him bit by bit over the years.

A sudden kick inside her stomach made her smile and everything was good again. The fucker was dead, Kankuro was happy, Gaara chose to be alright and above all, she was going to have a daughter. And she will never have to deal with all of this because by the time she will be born, they will be all perfectly fine.

She knew it.

*'*

"So... What do you want to do for your birthday?"

"Nothing."

"Come on! You will be twenty six! You're almost a dinosaur, we should celebrate this!"

"Temari, You're thirty..."

"Shut up, I'm younger than you! In my head."

How was his sister so full of energy after the night they had? He couldn't even look at her in the eyes, he was too ashamed to. He had reacted like a child and when he had woken up he was still in his sister's arm, feeling more rested than he ever did for a long long time. He didn't have the courage of getting away from her right away. It was nice to be protected. And he hated himself for enjoying it.

"Come on. Just me, Sakura and Kankuro. We still have to do the gifts of Christmas too. You can invite your friend Kiba too. It will be nice to meet him."

"I don't know. And I have to get myself ready."

"What time is your appointment?"

"Eleven."

"Oh we still have time. I will drive you there. I have an appointment too. Would you like to eat with me and Sakura after?"

"Why not."

She gave him one of her most beautiful smile. Not so long ago, he would just have a big "no" and now, even though they saw each other more than twice a week, he wasn't as wild as before.

"Temari... Are you okay?"

She looked at him, surprised. "Yes, I am, why?"

"Why do you have an appointment?"

"Because it's a thing you do when you are pregnant. Don't worry, one day you'll know."

"I can't be pregnant."

"You don't know that"

"Well, actually..."

"Whatever, I win Gaara. Come on, let's go, we'll be late if we keep going, chatting about stupid things."

*'*

"So, is everything good with Shizune?" Sakura asked, giving him a sandwich. "Here, eat that, I made it for you."

"Yes. Thank you." Gaara wasn't hungry but he knew he didn't have any chance to get away with it with Sakura and Temari nearby.

"Good. She told me that you were getting better. I'm happy you like her. She's the best psychiatrist we have."

Gaara shrugged. He didn't notice any change at all since he was seeing a psychiatrist. He always had nightmares and she always wanted him to talk about his family. He hated that greatly. And she prescribed some medicine he wasn't too keen to take.

A comfortable silence fell. The image of Temari and Sakura hugging and kissing made him strangely happy and envious at the same time.

"Gaara! Give me your hand!"

He frowned, but gave her nonetheless. She put it on her belly. "Do you feel it?"

"No."

"What? God, I'm so disappointed! I really hoped you could feel it!"

"Honey, it will not be before a few weeks."

"Not fair. Why am I the only one to live it?"

"Because I didn't want to get pregnant and you did."

"Oh yeah, you're right."

*'*

"So, we still need to decide what we are doing for Gaara's birthday." Temari was putting her stuff in her bag. Kankuro was here to take over.

"What did he say?" Kankuro asked, letting his luggage next to the couch.

"That he didn't want any."

"Why did I ask, it was obvious. I'm sure he wants something though. It would be nice, we could do Christmas gifts too!"

"I'm here. I can hear you. Don't ignore me like that." Gaara said annoyed. He was always annoyed when he was with them. He was getting tired of them being always with him too.

"I think we have upset him..."

"Yeah, I think so too... We love you Gaara, don't worry."

"I'm out of here." Gaara got up and tried to reach his front door but Kankuro caught him.

"No, no, no!" Kankuro laughed and hugged him quickly.

"See you soon guys! Be nice to each other"

Temari waved at them one more time and she was finally out. "So, everything was okay with Temari?"

"Yes."

"How was your appointment, today?"

"Good."

"What about we do some sports together?"

"Go to hell."

"Come on, it will be good to just do something again. I don't want you to be all alone in your bedroom. It's not healthy. I swear I will be gentle."

"You know it sounds weird, right?"

Kankuro rolled his eyes at the remark. Gaara really spent too much time with Temari, his humor was more and more terrible.

"Come on, just twenty minutes. After that, you can do what you want."

"Okay." Gaara finally sighed, not very enthusiast, but he knew if he kept on going to say no, Kankuro will never give up. And it was just for twenty minutes after all.

And he regretted after five seconds. His brother was used to do it almost every day, but he hated it.

"Come on Gaara, you can give me more than that!"

The redhead just glared at him, trying to look very pissed but, he was just looking desperate.

"I'm so proud of you baby bro! You did it!"

"I'm going to kill you..." Gaara said, panting heavily, laying on the floor as if he was going to die.

"It will be easier the next time, I promise!"

"There will be no next time."

"That's what you say now, but we will baby bro, we will. Like that, you will have a boyfriend very soon!"

"I don't want a boyfriend."

"Really? But you're so cute and..."

"So, you have a date with Kiba tomorrow?" Gaara interrupted him. He didn't want to hear his brother's nonsense and he wanted to tease him a little too.

"Wh-what? N-no, it's not that, it's... I have to apologize, I..."

"Couldn't you just say "I'm sorry" like everybody else?"

"But he asked to... I did and... It's not a date!"

"If you say so. But I know you're texting each other all the time." Gaara loved the blush that was on his brother's face.

*'*

"So, Temari and Sakura will be here in two minutes. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Kankuro said, checking himself in the mirror. He looked good. At least he hoped. Since when was he worried about it?

"Hey guys, we're here!" Sakura greeted the two men with joy. When her eyes lingered on Kankuro, she made an appreciative expression. "Wow, Kankuro... You're really handsome tonight... What's that for?"

"He has a date." Gaara answered before Kankuro could say anything else and the shocked look on his brother's face made his mouth twitched a little but he kept it under control.

"Really? With whom?" Temari asked. She had just arrived and once again, she was surprised. First Gaara made a friend and now, her brother, her Idon'twantanybodyinmylife brother had a date. Was it because she was pregnant, she was that blind and didn't see anything anymore? She had the sensation she was getting dumb. She didn't like that. "And you, stop drooling over my brother!" she yelled at her lover who still was looking at Kankuro with an appreciative look.

"You know I just have eyes for you babe", Sakura laughed and kissed her cheek multiple times. "You're the hottest one in this family... Really hot..." Sakura's mouth went to her lips and kissed her passionately. When she eventually broke the kiss, Kankuro didn't know where to look and Gaara wasn't paying attention to them, they were too loud and Temari wasn't able to think anymore. "So, with whom Kankuro?"

"With no one! He just wants to be annoying!" Kankuro nearly cried, as red as a tomato.

"He's seeing Kiba tonight. That's why you're here. He prefers to be with some guy instead of his brother."

"No, it's not true! If you want me to stay, I stay! You're the one that was telling me to go!"

"Well, I don't want you to broke the heart of my friend because you prefer spending time with a brother that don't want you here."

"So why did you say I was abandoning you! I don't like that!" Kankuro said, not loving the joke at all.

"I'm sorry, I will try to annoy you with something else." Gaara finally said. He could see his brother was really hurt by the statement and he didn't want that at all. He was nice enough to take care of him almost everyday. He wasn't as lonely as he was before, he almost ate normally and he slept better and better, thanks to him and Temari.

Wait, since when was he that happy with them around him? Maybe he was on drugs right now, it wasn't normal for him to think like that.

"Did you just apologize? Oh my God, you're taking drugs again." Kankuro panicked.

"What? No! You're always with me and you really think I would do that?"

"You just apologize! You never do that!"

"You know what? Just go, I don't want you here anymore! And don't come back tonight!" Gaara was pushing his brother out with a force he didn't know he had.

"What? Hey, no, I will not leave you alone!"

"I don't care, don't come back!" He threw Kankuro's stuff in his brother's face and he slammed the door and looked it to be sure he will not try to get in again.

"Well, what was that?" Temari's voice broke the angry silence coming from Gaara.

"Nothing. He just pisses me off."

"I can see that. It's because of what he says?"

Gaara shrugged and let himself fall on his couch. He was really hurt now. He never touched anything, not even alcohol because he was not allowed to neither and he was fighting every day and he just hurt him when Kankuro said that.

"Hey, he's a dummy, but he was not being mean. We're really proud of you Gaara. He always told us how happy he is to see you that hard working." Sakura added, squeezing his shoulder lightly to comfort him.

"Ow, we're having a moment guys! Group hug!" Temari came behind them and started to crush them in her embrace.

"I'm going to bed."

"No, Gaara! We have your favorite food, your favorite juice and your favorite movie! Do you really want to miss Shindler's list?"

"I'm not a child." Gaara came back in the living room nonetheless, intrigued by what her sister brought him.

"I knew it would work", Temari winked at Sakura, who was getting ready to do the cooking part.

Gaara pretended he heard nothing.

*'*

"Kankuro, over here!"

Kiba was waving his arm and Kankuro couldn't miss him. He felt strange though. His fight with Gaara affected him more than he thought. They fought all the time, but he could tell his baby brother was truly hurt about what he said.

"Did you find the place easily?"

"Yes, don't worry! So, this is one of your favorite bar?" Kankuro asked. It was very bright, the music was very loud and everything was telling "You're in a gay bar, welcome!". It was quite nice.

"Yep! Follow me, mister" Kiba smiled widely and his good mood was getting to Kankuro who gave him back.

There was not a lot of people. They found a table quickly, with no one around and Kiba was at the bar to get them some beer. While he was waiting, he couldn't stop but looking at Kankuro. He was sexier than ever. Every time he saw him, he thought he was truly sexy, but damn, tonight with his tight jeans and shirt, he had to fight himself not to drool too much. Why was life so cruel? He knew he would never have the guy except as a friend. But now his heart was weirdly tightening inside his chest and he wanted to hug him and kiss him and...

"And voilà!" The bartender said, giving him the beers. "You're with a damn good looking guy tonight, new conquest of yours?"

"I wish... And he will not just be a conquest, believe me..." Kiba shut his mouth in shock. Did he really have it this bad for this guy?

"Wow... I never saw you like that. I'm sure he will be your boyfriend. You're a cutie, babe!" The bartender kissed him on the cheek and Kiba grinned until he saw Kankuro staring at him. He pushed the guy away and quickly went back to Kankuro.

"Thanks! I really need it tonight... Is he your boyfriend?" Kankuro asked and his guts tightened and he didn't understand why.

"What? Him? No! Of course not! He's just a friend! Well, not really... Whatever, he's not important."

"Okay." Kankuro wasn't even looking at him. He felt a little angry and he didn't know why.

"Are you okay?"

"I-! Sorry, I'm just..."

"You seemed down since you're here. Do you want to go?"

"No." Kiba's heart skipped a bit. Fuck. "I had a fight with Gaara and he doesn't want me to come back tonight and... I don't know, we fight often, but... Now it makes me sad."

"Hey, I'm sure it will be okay. What did you say?"

"Why do you assume it was me?" Kiba gave him a look. "Okay, well, he apologized for something he said and he never apologized so I said he was taking drugs again and he kicked me out."

"You... You're really something. Of course he was upset! You just throw in his face his weakness. You know he tries really hard to fight this shit and for you to be proud of him. And please don't ever tell him I told you that, he will kill me. You're not really bright, are you?"

"Hey! I'm... Yeah, I fucked up..."

Kankuro was so down right now, Kiba couldn't help but sat next to him and took his hand, caressing it with his thumb.

"It's going to be okay. He just needs his night away from you, it's not a bad thing. Like that you can do something else that looking after him. You need to get some fun, you're always with him, it must be hard."

"No, it's not. I'm his brother, it's normal that I did that for him."

"It's still hard. Come on, forget it. He will forgive you tomorrow, I promise. Look, there is a beer that is waiting for you. It's calling you, drink it! We will dance after!"

"Well... I love dancing... And beers..."

"See, I'm so great I bring you somewhere we can do this all night long! But I still need my apology first." Kiba said very seriously, at least he tried.

"I'm sorry. I can't judge you about anything. And you make Gaara happy, you know? You're his first real friend, I think? And he told me you stopped too, since what happened to him. Are you okay with that?"

"It's harder than I thought, but I didn't take as much as he did. In a few weeks I will be okay, I know that. Oh, and... I'm sorry too. I asked and said some inappropriate things last time. You're not at ease with certain subject and I should have kept my mouth shut. I was angry and I tend to say bad shit when I'm like that. I never wanted to be disrespectful." Kiba scratched his head a little in embarrassment. He had done some research about asexuality since he was talking to Kankuro and it made him realize how much of an ass he could have been.

"Thank you. You're the first person to ever apologize to me about it. And I'm there if you need something." Kankuro smiled and he was so beautiful like this. In Kiba's mind.

"You have to take care of Gaara, but thanks, I will call you, that's for sure!" Kiba tried not to scream in joy.

"Good", Kankuro simply said and he noticed they were still holding hands. It was strange. Most of the time, he couldn't bare people touching him, beside his siblings and Sakura, it made him uneasy if he didn't know the person. But the caress was soft and gentle and he really liked it, in a way. It was very strange. Kiba's finger moved up to his arms and his heart raced a little faster. It was too much so pulled away and he knew he was blushing. He quickly took a sip of his beer and started saying nonsense that was making Kiba laughed.

He felt strangely good too. Seeing the young man that happy to see him, just to chat and drink some beers was a nice feeling. He was cute too and he had the impression he had dressed well because he was meeting him tonight. No wonder he was so popular, he was smart, funny and Kankuro could tell he had a nice body too. He didn't like the fact that some people touched him without caring for him. The thought made him a little sick and he just put it in the back of his mind.

"Wanna dance, mister?" Kiba asked, dismissing his weird thoughts.

He just nodded and smiled as the young man offered him a hand. He grabbed it and let Kiba take him to the dance floor. When Kiba started to dance, he couldn't take his eyes off of him. He was hypnotized by his moves and his face. There was something mischievous and hot and he couldn't understand why he was thinking that way. Since he was talking to this guy, he had a lot of weird feelings going on. Every time Kiba was flirty, his body felt weird and when he was telling him to stop, he was a bit disappointed Kiba listened to him.

And now, they were more and more close, their bodies were touching more and more. Kiba's arms were around his neck and his mind was telling him to get away, but his body was feeling good like that and wanted more. He put his hand on the younger man waist and they stopped dancing without knowing it.

Their faces were so close, Kankuro could feel Kiba's erratic breath on his lips and he had the impression he was about to kiss him but he didn't move. Kiba's hand started stroking his hair and he closed his eyes, savoring the delicious feeling. He was digging his nails in Kiba's flesh but he didn't notice. Kiba's nose touch his and he stopped breathing. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted it so much. He could feel Kiba's lips brushing his and he was losing his mind. He let out a sigh and Kiba locked his lips with his and everything was a blur.

Kiba was kissing him so gently, his heart was going crazy. He would have thought the young man would have ravished his mouth, but he was slowly moving his lips against his. He could sense the hands in his hair very tensed. Kiba was trying his best not to be too eager with him and a warm wave got through his body when Kiba licked his lips to deepen the kiss and he moaned loudly.

He froze.

This was too much for him.

He pushed Kiba away, ran to their table and grabbed his stuff and escape. He couldn't face it and he couldn't face Kiba's hurting face.

He just ran.

*'*

 _For fuck's sake, I hate your brother!_

 _ **What did he do this time?**_

 _He ran away!_

 _ **Why?**_

 _Well, we were drinking beers, dancing, we started kissing and all of a sudden he was just running away!_

 _ **You did what to my brother?**_

 _I kissed him. Well, we kissed, it was very mutual._

 _ **I don't wanna know.**_

 _You're the one that made me write it again!_

 _ **Why did you do that to him?**_

 _I don't know_

 _ **Kiba, if you're messing with my brother, I will kill you.**_

 _I will not do that! He was just so cute! He was feeling down because of your fight so I wanted him to be happy again and all of a sudden we were just so close and we kissed and it was so good, the best goddamn kiss in my life and he just ran._

Gaara didn't know what to respond. He never thought his brother would ever kiss someone one day. It was gross. And it was gross to think it was with Kiba, a guy he had kissed and fucked. But it must be something if Kankuro kissed him.

 _ **If you hurt my brother, I will kill you.**_

 _Stop wanting to kill me! I really like him, Gaara. Seriously, I've never felt like this before. I never met someone as sexy and as funny as your brother. And he's a very good kisser._

 _ **I don't want to know. By the way, January the 19** **th** **is my birthday. You will come to my apartment**._

 _Really? 26, right? I have to bring you a gift! What do you want?_

 _ **Think about it yourself. Good night.**_

He put his phone on the sofa and his attention went back to the movie they were watching. Temari was crying like a child, tissues everywhere around them and Sakura was holding her. It was funny to see how hormones could mess someone up. She would have never cried like that before. It was Kankuro's job.

"I want my birthday to be here."

"You sure? Our house is bigger!"

"Yeah, but I'm more comfortable here. Kiba will be there too."

"Okay. Do you know how it went with Kankuro?"

"Not really."

He couldn't help but smile. This was going to be fun to torture these two a little.

* * *

 **I have to admit, I love Kiba and Kanku so much, they will not have it easy at all. But don't worry, I promised a happy end. I think. Aha, yeah everything will be fine! * sweat a little***

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **See you soon :)**


	10. Happy Birthday

It finally was the 19th of December, Gaara's birthday. And Kiba was a bit anxious.

Kiba ringed at the door, hoping someone will open quickly. It was very cold outside and he was sure he was about to become a freaking ice cube.

"Hi, you must be Kiba! We're all here already! How are you?" A pink haired woman was smiling at him. If he was right, she was Sakura, Temari's girlfriend.

"Close the door, I'm cold!" Temari yelled, sitting on the couch.

"Come on, you don't want a pregnant woman to be cranky. Well, you don't want her to be crankier." Sakura said, stepping back to let him go inside.

He laughed a little and was happy to come in. He took off his cloak and beanie. It was so good to be somewhere hot!

"Hi Kiba."

"Gaara!" Kiba hugged him tightly. "So, do you feel old already?"

"No."

"You should you're a dinosaur now! Hi Temari! It's an interesting way to sit."

"Be pregnant and you will see, it's a bitch to sit correctly."

"Language, Babe."

"Sakura, be nice and hug me, don't reprimand me!"

Seeing Sakura rolled her eyes but kissed and hugged Temari nonetheless made Kiba smiled. Someone was missing though. The someone that was not responding to his texts or calls. The door of the kitchen opened and here he was.

"Hi Kankuro."

"H-hi!'

The older man ran off and sat next to Temari. What the hell was wrong with him? A hand in his back pushed him a little and he turned his head to Gaara.

"Go sit down. Want to drink something?" Gaara asked.

"Yeah a soda will be good. I try to limit alcohol now." Kiba explained when Gaara gave him a surprised look.

"Yay, someone that is nice and will not drink with me!"

"You miss beer that much sis?" Kankuro asked and put his beer under Temari's nose to make her sniff it.

"You little..."

"Please, not yet. Wait a little." Sakura pleaded at her girlfriend.

"I told you to sit. Here, your drink." Gaara handed Kiba a glass and pushed him again in the living room.

He saw his redhead friend sit on the floor and the only seat left was... Next to Kankuro. Of course. Not a cliché situation at all.

Kankuro was still not looking at him and Kiba sighed, taking a sip of his soda.

"Fuck, I need to go to the toilet. Again. Seriously, being pregnant is a pain. I can't wait to have my baby."

"I know Babe, there are only five months left."

"May seems so far away..."

Sakura kissed her temple and Temari left them while mumbling.

"Shit, I forgot the cake!" Sakura said all of a sudden and ran to the kitchen.

They were now just the three of them. Kankuro wasn't looking at Kiba at all and the young man seemed desperate to have his attention. It was annoying. Why people couldn't just talk things out and be okay? Gaara sighed a little. It was easy to think that when he was not in the situation. If he had, he will not be living with his brother, his body craving for some shit – even though it was less and less, and he would still have Naruto by his side, smiling happily while saying to him happy birthday and giving him a gift, blushing a little. Even after two months, it still hurt like hell. It was easier to deal with it but nonetheless, he really regretted losing him for that. It wasn't worth it at all.

The thought made him smile. It was the first time he was saying something like that to himself. He didn't feel anger towards Naruto anymore, or anything bitter.

"Are you okay Gaara? You're smiling, looking at nothing." Kankuro said. Screams from the kitchen made them turn their head.

"I'm gonna help Sakura." Gaara got up and left the two men to leave them alone. They were annoying to just sit there, not talking to each other. Maybe if he wasn't around, they would talk a little. Or at least, it would make them blush like teenagers. It was so good to torture them a little. Maybe he was missing Konohamaru. It was fun to see his secretary being all impressed by him and letting some yelp out every time Gaara was staring at him for too long or throwing pencils at him when he was angry. Maybe that was just harassment. He should ask his legal department one day.

An awkward silence set between Kiba and Kankuro once they were alone in the living room. The older man could feel Kiba's gaze on him. He wasn't able to look at him without blushing and he was so embarrassed. They kissed and it was not more than that. It's not as if it had been his first kiss after all. Well, it was the first one he actually enjoyed, but not the first. It also was the first time he wanted to really kiss someone else. It hadn't been disgusting at all. He could still remember the warmth of Kiba's body against his own, how soft his lips were, how... Okay, why was the room so hot all of a sudden?

He tried to look at Kiba as discreetly as he could and he saw that the young man was looking at him with concern.

"Kankuro, is ev-"

"I'm going to see if they need help" Kankuro interrupted him and tried to get up but Kiba's hand grabbed his wrist.

"It's becoming ridiculous. We kissed. Big deal." He got upset by Kankuro's silent and he just continued speaking "What about you talk to me a little? I don't understand anything about you! It was one week ago and you didn't even respond to my texts and calls! We talked for hours every night and just for that, nothing?"

"Maybe it's nothing for you, but for me it is a big deal!"

Kiba looked surprised and he took him a few seconds before speaking. "Why?"

"Because... I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I do! I miss you, Kankuro! Err, well, I mean... No, I mean it. I miss you. And I had a great evening and it had been the best kiss I ever shared and I want things to be okay between us."

"It's just... It was the first time I... No, don't smile like an idiot, it was not my first kiss." Kankuro added and Kiba looked a bit disappointed, "it was the first time I truly enjoyed it. It's scary."

"Kissing is not scary when you want it. It's one of the most wonderful things in the world. With sex."

"Well, kissing often involved... Sex", Kankuro closed his eyes and puked the word. "And I don't do that."

"I know. And I don't ask for it."

"You will, eventually. Everybody does." Kankuro smiled and it wasn't a happy one.

"I won't. I know you're not into it at all. I didn't kiss you because I hoped you will change your mind. I did it because I wanted to, yes, but I knew you wanted it too."

"You will want to have sex and I can't give you that."

"It will be hard, yes but I like you. I mean, not just because I find you really hot, but because I like talking to you and seeing you. You're funny and smart and you give a shit about what I say", Kiba scratched the head of his head, blushing a little. He was so confessing to a guy he saw and speak to once a week. "Anyway, I want to speak to you again. I don't care if we don't kiss. I'm even willing to be just your friend."

"Just friends, huh?"

"If that's what you want."

Kankuro couldn't respond to that. He didn't really know what he wanted from Kiba, but a part of him didn't want to just be friends. After all, the kiss had been something. And he knew he wanted it again, but it was scaring the shit out of him.

"So... Peace?" Kiba asked.

"Yeah, peace." Kankuro smiled and it grew wider when he saw the happiness lighting up Kiba's face.

"Cool! Next time, talk. You will see, things will be easier! And is it me or everybody is very long? Do you think the cake is that disastrous?"

"Maybe Temari drowned in the toilets..."

"Hey, I'm back!" Temari shouted at the exact same time.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes of course!"

 _I swear to God, next time you will be the one waiting in the toilets. I have so many pins and needles in my legs!_

 _ **Blame it on Gaara, it was his idea! And you're the best, babe.**_

 _Yeah, you can say that. God, why can't I have easy brothers?_

 _ **Life's a bitch, you know that. We're coming now.**_

"Hey, in the end, the cake was great!" Sakura said, opening the door, followed by Gaara.

"Why did it take you so long?" Kankuro asked suspiciously.

"It just needed some adjustments!" She was such a good liar. At least it was what she thought.

"Okay..."

"Kankuro, can you make some room for me?" Temari asked, still standing. "Come on, move away, I need to sit!" She finally said when she saw Kankuro's hesitation to go towards Kiba. He was such a child.

He pushed himself to let her sit and he didn't think Kiba was this close and one of his hands ended up on Kiba thigh and when he realized it, Kiba was red and he didn't know where to hide but for nothing in the world he was going to move. Kankuro quickly took off his hand and sat innocently next to him.

"Why are you so red, Kankuro?" Gaara asked and tried to be as emotionless as he could.

"I think I'm just hot. It's hot in here, right?"

"No." Temari, Sakura and Gaara answered at the same time and Kankuro really wanted to be somewhere else.

"Don't listen to them, it's hot in here." Kiba said.

"Stop hitting on my brother" Gaara tried not to smile. It was so funny to see these two like this.

"I'm not! I swear I'm not Kankuro, I-Wait... Gaara, you suck! How can you have such a fucking terrible humor?"

"It runs in the family." Gaara said, pointing at Temari.

"Hey, not nice Gaara!"

"I never wanted to be nice."

"You do that to your own pregnant sister. You monster."

"Okay, you two, that's enough! We have a cake and some gifts to open!

"Why is she such a mother already?"

"Kankuro, don't start!"

They kept on bickering in a good mood. Sakura lit up the candles on the cake and suddenly, the room was loud and everybody was singing "Happy Birthday" in unison. More or less.

"Blow the candles now Gaara! I'm starving" Temari whined.

The redhead rolled his eyes, but did it. Everybody applauded him and they were all relieved when they finally could eat the cake. Temari wasn't the only one that needed to eat something.

"Gosh Babe, your cake is good!" Temari spoke with her mouth full.

Gaara could only agree and took another bite and he realized the pink haired woman made him his favorite cake. He wasn't someone that liked sweet food but he could kill for a lemon cake.

"Soooo, now the most interesting part... Tada!" Temari laughed and gave him a big package. "When we saw it, we thought about you!"

Intrigued, Gaara opened carefully the present and then, he looked at the two women, very annoyed.

"Will you stop one day?"

"Never! Don't tell me you don't like your raccoon collection! Now you have as a lamp! How cute is it? You look so much alike!"

"It's a raccoon. I'm a human being."

"So much alike" Temari whispered, truly proud of herself.

"Where are the other raccoons? I don't see any here." Kiba asked, looking around.

"I always threw them away." Gaara answered, putting the lamp on the floor carefully. He was lying, of course. He actually was found of the most of the items the two women gave him, but he was too embarrassed to accept it and show it to everybody. He kept them sheltered in his closet.

"Well, errr... I noticed you liked Kubrick's stuff, so..." Kiba said, uncertain as he handed his present to Gaara.

"Thank you. I can't wait to read it." Gaara put his hand on Kiba's shoulder and squeezed it a little before reading the resume of Kubrick's biography.

"This one is from me! I'm sure you will like it." Kankuro smiled, handing him a small present.

His eyes widened when he could see what it was. Three cacti, very different were in his hands. He always loved it and he couldn't remember why he didn't get any. He remembered when Kankuro had offered him so many cacti when he was a little child. It stopped, because of their father. He dismissed the thought. He didn't want to go all gloomy. It was a waste of time and he wanted to enjoy it as he wanted to.

"I didn't choose them randomly. This one will make red flowers, this one yellow and the last one purple. I named them Gaa, Tema and Kanku." Kankuro was very, very pleased with himself.

"Did you think about it a lot?"

"Actually, yes. It wasn't easy."

"I really love them. Thank you Kankuro." Gaara smiled at him and put them somewhere safe.

"Oh, come here you!" His older brother took him in his arms and pulled him in one of his famous monstrous hug. "You're so cute when you smile!"

"Kankuro, he can't breathe", Temari tried to push him away a little, "hey, let me suffocate him too!"

"Hey, wait for your turn!"

"I have my turn when I want!"

"You two really have a brother complex..." Sakura shook her head as she saw the siblings bickering at each other while hugging a desperate Gaara which was in the middle of it.

"Stop now. I can't breathe." The redhead finally pleaded a few seconds later.

"Shh, you don't know what you're saying."

"We have other presents here, stop it now!" Sakura commanded, and with some grumbling, Temari and Kankuro got back to their place.

Kiba couldn't help but feeling jealous. His family wasn't like this at all. They were so uptight and cold, even when they didn't know he was gay. It was much worse after that, but he didn't complain. His father had brought him a flat just to make sure he will be away from them and he paid for everything.

In exchange, he wasn't allowed to come to their home except for Christmas and some shitty diner to look happy in front of the other members of the family. With a ban on saying he was gay. It would have brought shame on them. Recently, his sister tried to get in touch with him more often, apologizing about how she had behaved but he didn't buy it. He answered some times, but he was still angry. Especially at her. She had been so quiet when their parents were yelling that he wasn't normal and that he was sick.

But now wasn't a good time to think about it. He was happy his best friend had such lovely siblings. He smiled when he saw the look on Sakura and Temari's faces as they discover how much baby clothes the two men had brought them. His heart skipped some beats when the face of Kankuro enlightened when his brother offered him the new connected watch he had hoped for and he was hugging Gaara again.

"It's not only from me. Kiba helped me too." Gaara informed him and his brother turned to the brunet who was blushing. Again.

"Thank you Kiba, I wanted it for a long time" and when Kankuro's arms closed around his body, he couldn't breathe. The scent of this man was driving him crazy and he hoped it would end soon but it seemed that Kankuro had other plans. It was a really long hug.

"Hey lovebirds, they are people in the room!" Temari brought them back in reality.

"Temari, you really say a lot of nonsense!" Kankuro said and he moved away from Kiba who felt a little disappointed.

The rest of the day went fast and Kiba was having a good time until his phone started vibrating. His sister. Again.

 _Are you free tonight? What about you come home? Mom and Dad aren't there._

Good, it was what he truly wanted. To be a dirty little secret.

 _ **No, I'm not.**_

 _What are you doing?_

 _ **Things.**_

 _What about tomorrow?_

 _ **Mom and Dad will not be there?**_

 _No, they're away for two weeks._

 _ **I will come the day you will tell them you want to see me.**_

After that he didn't bother to respond to her texts. But she was harassing him so much, his phone was vibrating like crazy.

"Do you have some problems?"

"Yes, it's called having a sister." Kiba said and Temari gave him a look. "She's not as nice as you. She wants me to come at my parents house because they're not there. I'm only good enough if I'm a secret."

"Go to her." Gaara said.

"No! I don't want it that way! Errr, she pissed me off so much!"

"If you never make an effort when she tries, it will never be better. Trust me."

"But..."

"No but. Go to her." Gaara's tone was implacable.

"You're not nice. You're making me grow up." Kiba pouted, crossing his arms.

"That's a good thing."

"Okay, I'll go. You will miss me though."

"No, I won't." Gaara said amused.

"Asshole!" Kiba laughed and got up.

"Have a nice time with your sister. I'm sure she will be happy to have you with her. I'm always happy when I'm with Gaara."

"What about me?" Kankuro whined.

"Someone's talking?"

"You're so mean to me..." Kankuro falsely cried.

"Be safe on the street! See you soon!" Sakura said with a smile.

"Thanks. I will text you" Kiba hugged Gaara and turned to Kankuro. "Well, hm... Have a good evening." And he was out of the apartment.

Silence fell in Gaara's flat.

"Why are you still here, Kankuro?" Temari asked.

"Well, because..."

"Oh my God, go to him and kiss him for fuck's sake!" and she threw him out.

"What the hell is wrong with them? Kiba? Kiba, wait!"

The young man was on the stairs and he stopped when he heard someone calling his name. "Kankuro? Do you need something?"

"Well, I... I wanted to say goodbye to you." Kankuro said, a little short of breath because of the running.

"Just for that?" Kiba smiled, happier than he should be.

"Yeah, just for that and... To tell you I hope we will see each other soon."

"I'm free tomorrow night."

"Okay! I didn't think it would be that quick but okay."

Kiba bit his lip. He felt happy and he wanted to kiss Kankuro again, but he didn't know if he could. Kankuro wanted them to be friends, didn't he? So he just took Kankuro's hand and squeezed it gently but he couldn't guess Kankuro will start to stroke his hand with his thumb and leaned them in a hug. Once again, the scent emanating from the older man was driving Kiba crazy, but all he did was caressing Kankuro's back gently.

They stayed like this a long time and when Kankuro's breathe in his neck became a torture, he pushed him away and Kankuro looked at him surprised.

"If we keep going I will want to kiss you and I'm not sure it will be appropriate for a friend to do that." Kiba said, a hand on his face, trying to hide his embarrassment.

He was going to move away when Kankuro blocked him.

"What if I want to?"

"Want what?" Kiba didn't seem to understand.

"Kiss you... Again."

Kiba's eyes were so wide open, he thought they were going to fall off the floor. Kankuro was a little shocked by his attitude too, but a part of him didn't want to hold what he wanted anymore and Kiba seemed to be a good listener, a very respectful person. He will never try to have anything else than what Kankuro could give him. At least, Kiba gave him this impression. An impression no one ever gave him before.

"Are you sure?"

"You don't want to anymore?"

"Kankuro... I really, really want to kiss you now..." Kiba's face were so close to Kankuro's, their breathe were merging. He licked his lips and he saw that Kankuro was hypnotized by the move and he did it again, slowly. And all of a sudden, Kankuro's lips kissed his softly. The older man had put his hands on his waists like that time at the bar. There was nothing needy in this kiss and it amazed Kiba once again. Nobody ever kissed him with such care and without sexual intention. His hands were in Kankuro's hair and neck, stroking it gently.

It was so good he could cry.

He smiled in their kiss as he felt Kankuro pushed him again the wall of the stairwell carefully and Kiba couldn't help but try to deepen the kiss, knowing he was going to be pushed away. But Kankuro's mouth opened and let him go in and he could feel a shiver running down the older man's body as their tongue met one another. He could feel that Kankuro didn't have the habit of kissing like this, but his clumsiness was so cute, Kiba melted. He was going to teach him anything he was willing to learn. As time went by, Kiba moaned and the urge of pressing his body against Kankuro's grew in him. He started to feel blood rushing in his cock.

He was starting to lose control.

"Okay, stop now." Kiba broke the kiss, panting hard.

"Something's wrong?" Kankuro asked, worried. "Did I do something wrong...?"

"No. No, no, no. It was perfect, believe me. But my hormones are crazy now and I don't want to make things weird. But let's do that a lot."

"If it's making you like this, maybe it's not a good idea."

"I don't care. I can control myself. I just did. And I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Do you want us to never do it again?"

"... No. I... I definitively want to kiss you again." Kankuro said laughing a little in embarrassment.

"Good. I want it too. We can try to do it again tomorrow. Want to do something special?"

"Well, movie night at my place? Do you like "Back to the future"? It's been a while I didn't watch them and well, it's always better when there is someone with me."

"I would love to do that with you. And I would love to stay with you too, but I really have to go, I said to my sister, I will be at home as soon as possible." Kiba lied. He just needed to go away because Kankuro was still driving him crazy at the moment.

"Okay. I will text you tonight to give you all the things you need to know."

"Yeah, don't hold back. I will answer you." Kiba smiled.

Kankuro leaned towards him and pecked him on the lips.

"See you tomorrow."

Kiba ran in the stairs looking at Kankuro multiple times, a little red.

And Kankuro just thought he was the cutest guy he ever met.

*'*

When Kankuro was back at Gaara's flat, three people were staring at him with some smile on their face.

"Why are you all smiling like that?"

"Well, it took you ten minutes to come back. We were wondering if you were going to come back or if you just flew away with Kiba." Temari laughed.

"It didn't take me... Really that long?"

"Yes, we were counting. So... Were you all kissy-kissy?" Temari asked. She loved teasing Kankuro so much.

"Shut up, Temari."

"Oh my God it's a yes!"

"Kiba just text me to say they kissed."

"Does he tell you everything?" Kankuro asked with a high voice.

"Yes. I told you. I will know everything. Even if I don't want to."

"God..."

"And I also know that you will see each other tomorrow night. You're a fast guy, Kankuro."

"Gaara, don't be like her! Stay cute!"

"Because I'm not cute?" Temari yelled.

"No and you're fat!"

"I'm pregnant!"

"STOP! Ah, thank you. Temari and I have to go home now. I start early tomorrow." Sakura said, already putting her cloak on.

"Yeah, make her go away!" Kankuro said and Temari stick out her tongue.

"See you soon guys!"

And to Gaara's happiness, his flat was silent again. Too silent. He looked at Kankuro who was touching his lips and grinning like an idiot and texting someone and Gaara was sure it was a certain brunet.

"You look stupid Kankuro."

"Hey, not nice!"

"Hurt Kiba, I will kill you."

"He really is your friend... That's so beautiful Gaara!"

"Don't hug me."

"But it's your birthday!"

"I'm tired."

The redhead went to his bathroom and took his medicine. It didn't have the impression it was making things easier. He still craved for a fix, his body was numb most of the time and he still was very tired. It had been weeks till he hadn't been to work, but he couldn't go back now. He would be useless and a burden. Even more than he was now. Anger grew in him and his hands had become fist. He was breathing hard and he didn't hear Kankuro enter the room. He noticed his presence when his hands took gently his.

"It's okay Gaara. Everything is fine."

"I'm a fucking burden, so no, it's not fine."

"You're not a burden. I never thought you were. Temari either. And I'm sure Sakura and Kiba are proud of you."

"You can't even work at the office. You're always with me, making me food and be sure I'm not doing any shit. It's not a life for you."

"I'm not going to lie. It's hard but, I don't regret it. At all. You're more important than work. You always will be."

"I'm so tired Kankuro..." Gaara let himself fell on Kankuro and enjoyed the safety of his brother arms. He sighed when Kankuro hugged him, looking sad.

"I... I miss Naruto so much..."

"I know."

"I really fucked it up this time. "

Kankuro didn't respond, just keeping on hugging him.

"I really loved him, you know? I don't want to be with someone else..." He closed his eye. He was so tired.

"Why don't you go to bed? You have to rest. Tomorrow night, Temari will come." Kankuro suggested, leading him out of the bathroom.

"I can't stand to be here. It makes me sick. I hate this place. I have the impression I'm going to suffocate." Gaara said, wrapping himself in the blanket.

"What about we ask her tomorrow if you can crash at their house for a while?"

Gaara nodded weakly and fell asleep right away. Kankuro messed with his hair a little to tease him, but Gaara just wrapped himself like a maki. The older brother smiled and laid next to him. He grabbed his own blanket and closed his eyes when he heard his phone vibrating.

 _Okay, so I will bring beer tomorrow as you ask. I can't wait to see you. It will be fun._

 _ **Can't wait either. Hey, look how cute your friend is when he's asleep!**_

Kankuro took a picture of Maki Gaara and send it to Kiba.

 _You should draw something on his face like: you're old now! And some cocks too._

 _ **You really are a brat.**_

 _Hey, I'm twenty already._

 _ **What? You don't even reach the age of majority in every country in the world!**_

 _You're a little bit of a drama queen, huh? I like that._

 _ **Hey, be nice or I will never send you embarrassing pic of Gaara ever again!**_

 _Okay, okay, master, I will be nice, I promise. Don't be to harsh on me please!_

 _ **Good boy. So, how is it with your sister?**_

 _As usual. I'm annoyed. She's acting as if nothing happens._

 _ **What happened exactly?**_

 _I'm gay, I'm the shame of the family._

 _ **I'm sorry. They're stupid to not see how great you are**._

 _Stop the compliment, I'm blushing._

 _ **You're cute when you're blushing.**_

Why the hell did he send that?

 _You're pretty cute too. Even more when you want to kiss me._

 _ **Brat. Now stop texting and be with your sister.**_

 _What will you do tonight?_

 _ **I was thinking about video game night since Gaara is asleep and I can play all I want on my laptop without him complaining about something. And stop now!**_

 _Enjoy! It's the last text, I promise._

 _ **Good Boy.**_

Kankuro smiled and grabbed his blanket and went to the living room, closing Gaara's door without a sound. He sat down on the couch, maki like in his blanket and started up some games. It's been a while since he hadn't had an evening for himself and it made him relaxed. Even though he will always be there for Gaara, it hadn't a break for almost a month and he needed to revitalize himself a little.

He didn't feel that he had fallen asleep since his phone vibrated against him.

 _I'm home now. I just wanted to say good night to you. See you tomorrow._

Kankuro's heart beat faster.

* * *

 **So, I know, there is a lot of Kanku and Kiba lately but... I love those two so much 3**

 **Don't worry, Gaara and Naruto will come back cooner than you think :p**

 **See you next Sunday!**


	11. Chapter 11

Two weeks had passed since Gaara's birthday and the cold of February made the sky spill some snow now. It was too chilly for Gaara, but right now, he was hot. Very hot. And not for something he liked.

Not at all.

"Come on Baby bro, we're almost done! You really did good today!" Kankuro encouraged him, finishing his push ups.

"I swear, I'm going to kill you one day."

Gaara was all sweaty on the floor and panting hard, his shirt pulled up as he couldn't stand to be this hot. Kankuro was shirtless, as he always was when he was doing this torture, and the smile on his face made Gaara angrier.

He had to admit he felt kinda good too. The endorphin he was producing now made him a little sleepy and it reminded him when he was high. He closed his eyes and sighed. He was getting better and better, he knew that. He even started working at home a little and he hoped he could return to his office soon. He was sleeping better now even if he still had nightmares. _"You need to write them down. It always helps."_ Shizune had told him, but he didn't want to remember them. They were less violent now. Temari and Kankuro were always there to protect him.

"Okay, we're done for today. You really look better though. I swear I can see some love handle now! My food is so good you always eat everything! I'm so happy!"

"I don't have any love handle!"

"Hey, it's not a bad thing! It's cute!"

"I don't want to be cute!"

"Well... You're hot then?"

"Stop saying weird things, please... I'm going to shower. I will work in bed after that, a little."

"Okay! I have some things to do too. I will call you to eat."

"Thanks."

Gaara got up and he walked slowly, his legs were killing him, to the bathroom. He sighed out of happiness when hot water ran down his body. It felt so good. It had been a while since he didn't feel that good. His hands were slowly running on his body and he could feel some blood going to his cock. He let out a little laugh. So, his libido was working after all? It was almost a relief, giving he couldn't feel a thing since Christmas. Shizune had told him it was normal and it will come back when it will come back, but he had been worried that it wouldn't be the case.

Almost shyly, he grabbed his member and started to stroke it slowly. Soon, pictures of a blond man came to his mind, his sighs, the way he bit his lips and how he was telling him to go harder. He was now fully erect and biting his lips hard. Even though he knew Kankuro couldn't hear him, he wouldn't take the risk to see his brother coming now and be in a very awkward situation.

His movements were faster now. He couldn't help but think how great it would be to feel Naruto's skin again. He couldn't forget him. He was still under his skin. He imagined how he would make love to him. Not fuck like they always used to. He would prepare him tenderly, making him moan loudly. He would beg for more and for him to take him but he would tease him a little. When he would finally sink in him, it would be slow and passionate, kissing him all the time. His hands would grab gently his waist and he would start to move carefully to be sure to not hurt him. He would look at him the entire time, enjoying how Naruto would lose his mind, how he would tighten around him when he would hit his prostate and... He bit his lip hard as he came and he felt a bit pathetic. Jerking off thinking of his ex wasn't exactly a glorious thing. But Naruto still was the only person he really wanted. Of course he could go out and find someone willing just to fuck, but he didn't want that. He wanted love. He wanted to feel loved.

He quickly washed his hand and cock and a few minutes later he was out of the shower. He groaned when he noticed he had forgotten to take new clothes. He opened the door a little, making sure Kankuro wasn't there and when he knew the way was clear, he opened his closet and took a boxer. He searched for a shirt and he grabbed something that wasn't his. His fingers clenched a little. It was one that Naruto forgot. He smelled it and smiled. The scent was almost gone, but it was still there. He went to his bed and lay down on it, completely forgetting about working.

He fell asleep fast and his dreams took him the day he moved into the dorm when he started college. He had a big box in his arms and he couldn't see anything. When he had arrived in front of the door and had cursed himself. Why did he say no to Kankuro's help again? Oh, well, because he was annoying, that's right.

"Hey, do you need some help?" someone behind him asked.

"Yes, isn't it obvious?" Gaara mumbled, not turning around to see his interlocutor.

"Well, just let me get to the door and I will open it for you. And that's it! Are you Gaara? I'm Naruto, your roommate! I'm so happy to meet you! I hope we will be friends! It's always a little hard to go away from home, don't you think? So we need to stick together!"

Gaara dropped the bow on the floor and faced the talkative guy that was smiling like an idiot to him. He looked so happy and careless, Gaara wondered if he was going to bear him.

"Hmm... You're not a talker, huh? Don't worry, I will speak for two! So, do you want me to help you bring your things in here?"

Gaara hesitated. He wasn't sure he wanted this guy near him, but at the same time, he couldn't do it all alone. And the blond looked like he was ready to do anything he wanted just to be nice. He could take advantage of it.

"Yes." Gaara responded, and without a word, he got out of the room and head for the car that was outside with all his belongings.

"So, where are you from?"

"Here."

"Okay... Me too!"

Gaara took another box and without a word went towards the room.

"Hmmm, so... Do you have any siblings?"

"Yes."

"Cool! I wanted a brother and a sister so much! But I'm an only child, aha!"

Gaara couldn't see how it was funny. He would have killed to be an only child.

"You never met mine."

"Oh? What's their name?"

"Temari and Kankuro."

"Older?"

"Yes."

"You're so lucky! I have some cousins, but it's not the same. And I'm the old one. I always wanted to be the little kid that everybody spoiled!"

Gosh, how this guy was annoying. Gaara finally dropped the last box and sat on his bed. It was a shitty bed. But at least he wasn't in his father's house anymore.

"Will I meet them one day?"

"No."

"Oh, why?"

"Why don't you stop asking questions?"

"Well, I want you to be my friend, so I have to know you better!"

Gaara looked at him suspiciously. What did that guy wanted from him? He never had friends before, mostly because he had been home schooled and also because when you are the son of Rasa Sabaku, no one will approach you. But this guy didn't seem to know who he was. It felt very good.

"So, why are your parents and sibling not here to help you?"

"My father is sick and in hospital. I didn't want to see my brother or my sister." Temari didn't even asked if he wanted any help. She never looked at him anyway and every time she did, she looked so hurt, he couldn't bare it. He knew she tried to talk to him sometimes but she never seemed at ease with him.

"What about your mom?"

The atmosphere tensed.

"She's dead."

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I'm not very delicate."

"It's okay."

"My parents are dead too. But I lived with my godfather and it was good. He's a big pervert though. But who will not with hot chicks, huh?" Naruto said and he obviously didn't think any of it.

Gaara gave Naruto a weird look. What the hell was this change of attitude?

"Don't you like girls?"

"That's none of your business."

"You're right, sorry! Hell, I'm hungry. Aren't you hungry? Of course you are. Come, I will pay you some Ramen. I know a place, you will love it!"

"I don't..."

"Shhh... It's Ramen time. No can't be an answer."

The blond grabbed his hand, locked their door and took him to the cafeteria.

"So, this is the place..."

"Yeeeeees! You will see, it's magical! There is food everywhere and a lot of different Ramen. That's why I chose this college. Just for the Ramen."

Gaara was speechless for a second, but seeing the young man with stars in his eyes, talking how much he loved his Ramen, he couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Aha! I knew I would be able to make you laugh! I'm such a funny guy! Well, we talked enough, it's truly Ramen time now!"

Gaara just followed his new "friend", intrigued. He never had eaten Ramen before. It wasn't sophisticated enough for his father. He took Naruto's advices about the flavors and once they were sitting, eating the weird soup, Gaara had to admit it was good. Very good.

"So, how do you find it?" Naruto asked, mouth full and making a mess around him.

"Not bad. You're eating very messily. You have a noodle on your cheek."

"Really? Thank you!" The blond took it and ate it in front of a shocked Gaara. "It's so good you can't spoil it by not eating everything! Come on, eat! You're thin, you need to eat! Not that you're ugly! You're really cute! No homo!"

Naruto started babbling things Gaara couldn't understand. This guy was really something. He was annoying, but nice. It was a nice feeling to have someone who could look at him not as if he was a monster or a piece of shit but as a human.

"Seriously, I don't like guys! Hey, are you mocking me?"

"No."

"I saw you laughing! So you can laugh too, that's good..."

"No, I'm a robot programmed to imitate humans emotions."

"Okay. Your humor sucks, but I like it."

Naruto bursted out laughing and punched him hard in the shoulder. Gaara returned it and the blond fell on the ground, spilling Ramen everywhere.

It was his first meeting with Naruto. He felt lighter this day and every time he was with him after, he felt his heart beat a little faster.

*'*

"Whaaaat? You're going out tonight? You're abandoning me!"

"You're seeing Sasuke..."

"Well, I can cancel if you want. I want to spend some time with you."

"We're always together."

"Not true! We don't study the same things! I miss you when you're not around!" The blond blushed and didn't look at Gaara directly when he said that. Gaara smiled gently.

Naruto's head was on his lap as always when he was throwing a tantrum. They were always together but it was never enough for him. Of course, Gaara liked it a lot when he was like this. He knew what he felt for Naruto wasn't just friendship but more. The blond had slowly crawled under his skin and he wasn't tough enough to not fall for his charm.

Six months had passed since they met each other and lived together. If it can be called like this. Naruto was a really adorable person. He was always happy and kind. And very cute. Gaara couldn't help but blush every time the blond stayed in his towel every time he came back from the shower. He was a very good looking guy and he didn't seem to be aware of it at all.

"You're the one that tells me to get out sometime."

"Yes, with me! Okay, okay... But you will have to tell me everything tomorrow!"

"I will. I promise."

Naruto smiled and hugged him tight. At the same moment, their room's door opened and Sasuke appeared and he didn't seem pleased by what he saw. Gaara had always the impression the brunet was jealous of him. A lot. As if Naruto didn't have the right to have other friends than him or Sakura. Gaara had met the young woman many times and she was something. He still didn't know if she was nice and a freaking monster. She liked him though, and he knew Naruto was very happy about that.

"Naruto, stop being a child."

"You're still so nice Sasuke..."

"Well, being on Gaara's lap doesn't help me to be."

Naruto sighed and got up. Gaara was suddenly cold. He loved it when he blond was near him. He was hot and his warmth always calmed him.

"I was going anyway, Naruto." Gaara said and Naruto was once again looking disappointed.

"Okay... Don't do stupid things! Kids these days are dumb and doing drugs, don't be influenced by them!"

"Yes, mom. Good bye, Sasuke."

The Uchiha didn't even respond, still looking at him as if he was a threat. Of what he didn't really know.

The party was really boring. Why did he accept to go, again? Oh, right, to get away from Naruto a little. It was hard to have feelings that will never be mutual and he needed to escape sometimes.

"Take this, you will see, the party will be a lot more interesting after that... This one's on me, but if you want more, I will take money, baby."

Gaara looked at the pills in his hand and look at the girl who gave him the drug. If he remembered correctly, her name was Tenten and she seemed to find him cute. They had a lot of classes in common and she was always trying to get his attention and since he arrived, she couldn't stop but always be glued to him like a freaking leech.

He did take the pill anyway. He was bored and not in a good mood since he wasn't with Naruto. Kankuro had called him today to say that his father was getting worse and worse. He just wanted this bastard to die already. The scars on his back hurt him and he hoped that soon he will feel better. And it did.

He was now kissing Tenten, but his mind often changed her face to Naruto's. He couldn't help but smile at the idea of kissing his friend over and over again. But the moaning were too high to be from a man and when she started to unbuckled his belt to touch his erection, he pushed her away. He wanted her because his hormones were crazy, but he certainly didn't want intimacy like that. He was still a virgin, mostly because he never met someone of his age and interesting before college and because he wanted it to matter. The young woman didn't seem to understand he didn't want her and she tried to touch him again. When she noticed it wasn't going to work, she took his hands and put it on her breast, as if it was going to change anything.

"Do you like it?"

"Go away from me."

"What? Are you a fucking faggot or something?" The young woman yelled at him, upset he dared pushing her away.

He just gave her a murderous look and slapped her in the face. He couldn't bear people talking like that. He never understood why people had a problem with it and felt the need to be that insulting.

"I prefer to touch a man than someone like you." And on this words, he was out of the party.

He was still tripping and finding his room was a lot harder than he thought. After 15 minutes, he finally found it and when he opened it, he heard a little yelp as he turn the light on.

"What the fuck? Gaara? Why are you here so early?"

"Well, it was a boring... Oh. Sorry."

A very naked Sasuke was on top of a very naked Naruto who was as red as a tomato. He was really cute and damn, his body was really hot. The brunet just looked angry and arrogant, as always and seemed to wait for him to go away. Which he wasn't going to do.

Naruto was quickly putting some clothes on.

"Naruto, what are you doing?"

"Sasuke stop asking stupid questions and put something on!"

"No, he's going to go away!"

"No, it's his room too!"

"I don't want to go away." Gaara said emotionless, but he was happy when Sasuke gave him an annoyed look. He just loved it too much.

"Naruto, if he doesn't, I will."

"Okay, go. I will see you tomorrow."

"Are you serious? Fuck, you're fucking stupid!" Sasuke quickly got dressed again and slammed the door on his way out after glancing one last time at Naruto who wasn't able to look towards the door.

A strange silence took place between the two friends. Well, Naruto was embarrassed. Gaara couldn't care less. He more or less already knew what was going on between the two young men, he wasn't 100% sure but now, he was.

"Well, I... I'm sorry you just saw that I... I will understand if you want me to go away."

"Why would I want that?"

"Well I'm... I'm gay and..."

"And?"

"Well, it's..."

"None of my business. I don't care."

"Really?" Naruto's voice were so full of hope and gratitude, it hurt Gaara a little.

"You're still my friend. I don't care about things like that."

Naruto gave him one of his most beautiful smiles and warmth run through Gaara's body. He could feel getting excited again and when he remembered how his friend looked naked, he decided to hide under his blanket.

"It means a lot to me, really. You mean a lot to me. You're my best friend." Naruto felt the need to say this not wanting Gaara to have the wrong idea.

"You too. I'm tired, I'm going to sleep."

A few minutes later, Naruto turned the light off. Gaara closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep when Naruto's voice raised up.

"I'm cold."

"So come. It will not be the first time."

"Are you not embarrassed?"

"I'm embarrassed by your stupidity. Come here. Now."

He felt Naruto slipping under his blanket, as he always did when he was cold. Gaara had always been more than happy to have the blond in his bed. Maybe a little too much.

"You're a great friend, Gaara."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. And you're nice too." Naruto added, spooning him.

Soon, Naruto's breath on his neck was calm and steady, completely asleep. One of his hands was on Gaara's waist and the only thing the redhead thought, was if Naruto wanted to take off his belt and touch him, he will never stop him.

The next day, Gaara emerged from sleep before the blond. He was still in Naruto's arms and it was relaxing. He still had his breath in his neck and it made him shivered a little. He pressed himself more against Naruto and it was when he felt the blond erection on his ass. His heart skipped a bit. He didn't dare to move and he didn't want to move. His body was starting to react too, and he had to bite his lips not to moan. He wanted to move his ass to make Naruto even harder but he couldn't. He had a boyfriend and he shouldn't even stay in his arms like that.

The blond began to wake up and Gaara pretended to still be asleep. He heard his friend swearing when he noticed he was hard and he got up a little to see if Gaara was awake and he did buy his act.

"Sorry, Gaara..." Naruto said, kissing his hair.

He never understood why the blond said that.

*'*

"What the fuck Gaara? Why do you have a tattoo on your forehead?!" Naruto yelled as he noticed the weird red thing on his forehead.

Gaara growled and opened his eyes. Gosh, his head and forehead hurt. Very bad.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look at yourself in a mirror!"

Without conviction, the redhead got up and went to the bathroom. When he was able to see his face clearly in the mirror, he frowned. What the hell was that?

"Is it a real one?"

Gaara was trying to remember what he had done the day before. He woke up in a very bad mood. He had a vivid nightmare about his father and all he wanted was to forget. To Tenten's happiness, he had knocked at her door to ask if she had something for him.

" _Maybe, if you have money and if I can have something else too..."_

When he finally left her room, he had taken some pill, kissed and groped her as she wanted. He knew he hadn't any self esteem in doing this kind of things, but he couldn't care less. Soon he had felt a lot better and when he had met Suigetsu and Jûgo and so Gaara went to class with them. He barely remembered what the class of Kakuzu Taki was about and he hoped he had taken notes. His professor wasn't a kind one and his tests were always very hard.

His memories were blurred. He remembered he got to Suigetsu and Jûgo's room and got a little more high and they decided to get outside. They were at a bar and then to a tattoo shop. They joked about getting each other one and when Gaara had seen the kanji he had known it was the one. It was a meaningless word to him. He killed his mother, his father had preferred beating him until he was too sick to even raise a finger, his siblings couldn't stand staring at him even for five seconds. He was a monster, he knew that. And then he remembered Naruto smiles and warmth. Maybe he wasn't as terrible as he had thought.

"So? Oh my God, it's a real one. What the hell?!"

"You're not my mom."

"I'm not, but it's... So random. I never thought you could be! Do you have what you need to take care of it? Okay, we're going to buy some stuff." Naruto added when he saw the confusion on Gaara's emotionless face. He knew very well how to read him now. Something that nobody could do besides of him.

"Yes, mom."

"Stop calling me mom. Seriously, kids these days... It looks good on you, though. You're even cuter like this. I'm not saying this in a strange way!" Naruto yelled all of a sudden. He was always like this when he was complimenting a guy.

"Okay. And thanks."

Naruto gave him a smile and the pain on his forehead was bearable now.

*'*

"So, your sister is coming today? How cool is that? I will finally meet someone from your family!"

"Don't be that excited. She's a pain."

He didn't really understand why all of a sudden his big sister wanted to see him. She nearly spoke to him for years and he only saw her for stupid things like Christmas and since she was seeing a therapist, she had started to text him and telling him she missed him a lot and that she was sorry for not being around much.

"That's not nice Gaara, speaking of your sister like that... I'm so hurt!" Temari's voice raised up behind him and when he turned over she was smiling from ear to ear and she hugged him tight.

"I'm not nice." Gaara replied not hugging her back.

"Aaaaah, I really missed your wonderful humor!"

"I'm not joking."

"So funny and cute! Wait a minute, what do you have on your forehead? Is that a tattoo? Oh my God, are you one of the cool kids now?"

"You're noisy."

"I'm just surprised! So, you're not going to answer? Okay, then... Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see you! Hi, I'm Temari and you are...?"

"Naruto, nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you too! Are you Gaara's boyfriend? What don't look at me like that, you don't tell me anything, I need to ask questions to know things!"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Oh? Do you have a girlfriend, though? No? What a shame, you're so cute, everybody must want to be with you!"

Naruto gave her a strange look and Gaara rolled his eyes. She was really something. She seemed really happy and confident. He had never seen her like this. She was a complete different person from the last time he had seen her and it was more than eight months ago.

"Why don't you calm down?"

"I'm calm! You know, it's over between me and Mei. It was toxic and I can't do that anymore... So maybe I'm a little excited to see you because it had been too long and I missed you. A lot." Temari added, a bit apologizing, "So, show me everything I need to see! Maybe we could go downtown later, to drink a beer or something!"

"Oh yes, that's a great idea! Can my friend Sakura come with us? She broke up with her boyfriend a few days ago and she's feeling pretty down..."

"The more the merrier!"

And like that, for the first time since they weren't living together anymore, Gaara spend time with his big sister. She was very touchy feely, always hugging him and telling him nice things. It was annoying and weird and he really tried to lose her in the corridor, but she was too good at following him.

Naruto seemed to appreciate Temari. They were always laughing and saying stupid things. It was tiring. He just wanted to spend the day with his friend, cuddling under the blanket while watching some silly tv shows the blond adored and having the impression of being the most important person in the world when he will give him one of his warmest smile. The one he was only giving Gaara. Not even Sasuke wasn't entitled to receive one of them.

Naruto squeezed his shoulder gently, knowing his friend had a hard time to be with two too energetic people. He was a very introverted person and hearing them talking all the time was tiring him a lot.

Finally, after two hours of Naruto showing everything to his sister who was in awe about everything, they were finally in a bar downtown with some beer for Temari, a cocktail too sweet for Naruto and wine for Gaara.

"So, you became mister fancy pants?" Temari joked when his glass of wine arrived.

"You are so funny." Gaara answered with his best emotionless face.

Temari busted out laughing and messed with his hair. "That's my bro! It's the first time we ever drink together, can you imagine?"

"I can."

"So, when is your friend coming, Naruto?"

"Well, she told me she was on her way. I'm sure it will do her some good to be with us instead of being alone in her room. I'm so sure you two are going to click!" Naruto smiled, sipping at his cocktail.

Sakura arrived five minutes later. Gaara had seen her a few times, but he never really talked to her. They didn't study the same thing at all. She was in medical studies and most of the time it was Naruto that was going to her dorm or party. Sakura was making him ill at ease. She was nice and beautiful but she was too kind. She was waking some things in him he didn't want to. He didn't want to care for her. And he also was jealous to see how the blond loved her so much. She was maybe not a guy, but exceptions could always happen. Naruto always laughed when he made that kind of allusion and always replied he was only into guys, even though he had a crush on her when they were children, and that he had Sasuke now. Gaara always forgot about Sasuke. Naruto spend more time with him than his supposed boyfriend that he couldn't be that jealous of the brunet anymore.

The evening wasn't as terrible as he thought it would be. It was the middle of the week, so there was not a lot of people in the bar so the atmosphere was bearable. He noticed how Temari was trying her best to make Sakura laugh and smiled and he vaguely asked himself if she was hitting on the pink haired girl. When he saw Sakura blushing, he knew it was the case and that his sister was succeeding. She was so confident now. As if everything that ever happened to her was nothing at all. His back hurt all of a sudden and it made him angry. She forgot, huh? Fuck it. He still had nightmares and injuries and she was there, all happy and flirty. The Temari he remembered was cold, almost mute and always looked hurt. She was always involved with the wrong girls, always angry and always looking at him as if he was the cause of her pain. And now she was just smiling lovingly at him as if he was the best brother ever and he wanted to punch her in the face.

His inner battle must be all over his face, his blond friend leaning towards him.

"Is everything okay? Do you want us to go back? I think we can leave these two alone, if you see what I mean", Naruto tried to joke but he wasn't wrong either.

"I'm okay. Sorry, it's just... I think I'm tired lately."

"Sorry, I'm always sleeping with you and I always took all the blanket and..."

"Wait, you two sleep in the same bed? You just have one bed?" Temari asked curious.

"No. It's just cold and like this it's easier to keep the warmth."

"The warmth, huh? Yeah, right..." Temari looked at Gaara and winked at him. He just rolled his eyes. Of course she had understood he was completely into Naruto. At least she has the consideration of saying nothing else.

Temari's phone suddenly started vibrating and Kankuro's name appeared on the screen.

"Ah, maybe this idiot is on his way to come! I wanted to surprised you, but in the morning, the hospital called and he wanted to go there."

"You didn't go with him?"

"No. I don't care. Seeing you was way more important than that. Hi Kankuro, so where are... I beg your pardon?" Temari frowned, her eyebrows and didn't say anything. "Okay, I see. Yes, he's with me, I will tell him. Are you okay, Kankuro? I can come as soon as possible if you want me to. We will be there. See you later."

For a few seconds, Temari just stared at Gaara, having trouble to say something.

"Is Kankuro okay?"

"Oh yeah. It's... Rasa is dead." Temari finally dropped and something in Gaara's heart sank.

He couldn't breathe or think. His mind was blank. He wasn't sad at all. It was a mix of anger and despair. It has been years since he hadn't seen his father and he was perfectly fine pretending the bastard had been already dead. His nightmares always reminded him how he was just running away from it but it was fine. And now, his dreams came true. But he didn't feel free at all. It was like Rasa's shadow was closer to him now. He was alive in his memories and in them, he couldn't die.

Never.

"Who is Rasa?" Naruto asked, not sure why the two siblings were so shocked.

"Our father." Temari answered. Gaara was not able to talk anymore.

"Oh. I'm so sorry for your loss." Naruto and Sakura said, exchanging an uneasy look.

"I'm going to meet Kankuro at the hospital. Do you want to come with me?"

Gaara just shook his head as a no. He certainly didn't want to be with them now.

"I don't want you to be alone..."

"I will be with him, don't worry." Naruto reassured her and she gave him a sad smile.

"Thank you."

She said goodbye to the group and Sakura followed her. Gaara could see the pink haired woman hugging his sister who was more than happy to give in. He could see Sakura whipping Temari's tears and he almost felt bad because he couldn't cry. All he wanted was to drink and get high but it was not possible. He was with Naruto and he knew his friend would never let him drown himself like that. He was lucky in the end. He finally found someone who cared enough to not let him suffer too much.

"Come on, Gaara." Naruto gently said as he put his hand on his shoulder.

He didn't really know how but when his mind worked again, he was in their room. The silence was oppressive almost solid. For once, Naruto didn't say a word. He was just looking at his empty friend as if he thought he needed space. But Gaara just wanted to forget and he couldn't. He needed to get out of here, but his legs didn't move. He felt angry. So angry. His back hurt more and more, he had the impression it bled again.

He didn't know he had started to cry until he felt Naruto's hands on his cheeks, drying them, still without exchanging any words. He let his head fall on Naruto's chest and a good feeling rushed through his entire being when he felt the two arms of his friend around him.

"It's going to be okay, Gaara. I promise."

That night, Gaara fell asleep into Naruto's arms as always.

He never wanted to be anywhere else.

*'*

The day of the funeral arrived quickly after the announcement of Rasa's death. Gaara still felt strange. Kankuro and Temari had come to talk to him about the funeral and the last will of their father. He didn't understand a thing except they were going to work at Rasa's company as he left the company to them. When they asked if he was okay with it he had said yes. He didn't really know why, but it seemed the right thing to say.

Now he was letting Naruto put on a tie in their room. The blond smiled at him, but the muscles on his face couldn't move. He hadn't really spoken in days and his friend never judged him. He took Gaara's phone when he vibrated.

"It's your brother. He and Temari are here, we have to go."

Gaara just nodded.

There was so many people in the church, Gaara didn't know his father was that appreciated. Most of them were colleagues, people that Gaara had already seen at least once. They looked all so concerned and sad and he was going to be sick if someone said "I'm so sorry for your loss" one more time. He wanted to shout that this bastard had lived for too long. He has almost no memories of his father not in a bed, sick and almost at the edge of death. The only thing he remembered was his scars and the cries of his big sister in the night, every time Rasa was going in Temari's room. He fell very ill when Gaara was 10. Since then he was just a shadow. Gaara was still scared of him, but he never touched him since then. Or Temari. But the bastard was a tough one. He still worked and thanks to Baki, his personal assistant, he had lived like this for twelve years to finally had his last breath a few days ago.

He had lived too long, Gaara thought. His presence was still a harmful substance. Temari left the house at eighteen. He remembered how silent it has been. She nearly said good bye. She was in such a hurry to go live with her girlfriend and be away from this house. He could get it. But she abandoned him and let him with him. He was a hostage in this house. He nearly left and Kankuro wasn't the best company in the world. He was never there. Always with friends and when the brunet went to college, he didn't move away but it was as if. He always slept in his friend room in the college dorm. Gaara stayed two years alone in here. He nearly lost his mind and he also got out of there when his father "gave" the authorization for him to go to college. He thought he was free, but now that he was there, in front of the grave, forced to show the fucker some respect he never had, it was too much. He ran away quickly, wanted to puke.

"Gaara, wait!" Naruto's voice was closed, but he didn't stop.

He hid behind a tree and vomit on it directly. He saw the feet of his friend and he looked up at him, wiping his mouth. Naruto took him in his arms instantly. He was doing it a lot for some time now. The tenderness of his friend was breaking his wall. Gaara cried in his friend's neck, cursing himself for crying for a bastard like this.

"I know. It will be okay." Naruto was rocking him gently and Gaara felt so tired.

"This bastard doesn't deserve this."

Naruto seemed a bit shocked by the word, but he knew it was complicated. Gaara never told much, but every time, the disgust and rage in his eyes when his father was mentioned was real.

"He was a fucking monster. I hate him. I fucking hate him. I wish he had died sooner!"

Naruto let him ramble monstrous things about his father, never stopping him or judging him. He just whispered some sweet words in his ears. Gaara's body relaxed and he was finally able to look at Naruto. He felt pathetic. His eyes were swollen, he could feel it and his nose was dripping but Naruto didn't seem to mind it at all. He was still wiping his last tears and all Gaara wanted was to kiss him. He wanted to feel better and forget and he wanted his blond friend to help him. The one that was haunting his dreams, that made him touch himself almost every morning even though he knew it was wrong because Naruto had a boyfriend, but now, he didn't care.

They were looking at each other intensely. Naruto was swallowing hard and Gaara wondered if he wanted the same thing. Naruto's hand was now on his neck, stroking his skin with the tip of his fingers and it made Gaara blush and shiver. Naruto licked his lips and leaned towards his face and Gaara closed his eyes. Was he...? But Naruto's lips kissed the corner of his mouth. For a few seconds. Gaara wanted to move his head and meet these lips, but all of a sudden he remembered that Naruto still had a boyfriend, so he stayed still and took what he could.

"Gaara? Gaara, where are you?" Temari's voice broke their moment and they were now at a respectable distance from each other. He could see that Naruto was red and one of his hands was touching his lips and he looked so guilty, Gaara couldn't understand why. Maybe Naruto had feelings for him? No, it was impossible. Naruto only saw him as a friend.

"You're here! Don't scare me like that ever again!" Temari hugged him with a lot of strength as if she wasn't going to let him go ever again.

He didn't answer anything.

Being in her arms wasn't a bad feeling at all.

*'*

Gaara was in his office, staring at his secretary who was babbling a lot. He liked the effect he had on the young man. It was so easy. What was his name again? Well, it wasn't important. He send him away and sighed. This office was truly too big. Six months had passed since the funeral. Everything had been so fast. Between graduation, moving out of the dorm and his assumption of duties, he had not really seen Naruto since then.

They were always talking to each other, there wasn't a day without at least a text from the blond and it always made him smile. Naruto became a teacher and he was very happy with his job. He was still with Sasuke, but he talked less and less about him and every time Gaara asked about him, Naruto always forgot to answer or said he didn't want to talk about it.

He really missed him. Texting wasn't the same as being able to see and touch his friend. He was still in love with him. He couldn't help it, he couldn't forget him.

 _Gosh, what a day! I would give anything to have a beer now!_

 _ **Well, maybe I can free myself in a few days if you want to.**_

 _Really? Man, it would be so awesome! I miss you so much, it's been too long... Are you okay? How is work?_

 _ **Good.**_

 _How are Temari and Kankuro?_

 _ **Good. They are a pain, though.**_

 _Oh? Why?_

 _ **They always come in my office to talk and to ask if we can spend some time together.**_

 _Aw, so sweet! They're so nice, don't be so mean to them!_

 _ **I'm not mean. I'm honest.**_

 _Moron. Well, I'm home now, I'm going to make some Ramen. You should come one day, I will make you the best Ramen ever._

 _ **I would like that very much.**_

But they never did and they never met for the drink.

*'*

"So, have you met someone?"

"No."

"Come on, why? You're so cute! And you deserve to be happy!"

"Temari."

"Are you trying to scare me with your eyes? You're even cuter! What about Naruto? I know you have the hots for him!"

"Temari!" Gaara's voice was offended and he knew he had lost when he saw Temari's smile.

"Well, I'm sure he likes you too. I'm just saying."

"He has a boyfriend."

"Yeah, and I know from a reliable source that they are always fighting. Mostly because of you."

"How do you know... Sakura."

"Yeah, you know, my girlfriend. That I live with."

"I know. You always want me to go to your house."

"Well, you're still invited this weekend."

"No."

"You're so mean!"

"Go to work, Temari."

"But-"

"Why don't you bother Kankuro?"

"Well, he already said yes and you know that he's not interested in romance, so it just leaves you."

"Go away."

"Alright, alright... But don't hesitate to invite Naruto tonight... Okay, okay, I'm on my way!" Temari said with a smile and closed the door behind her.

Maybe it was a coincidence, but the moment she was out, his phone vibrated. Naruto had messaged him.

 _Are you free, tonight? I really need you._

 _ **Of course. Where do you want to meet?**_

 _Well, I'm already at your workplace. Sorry, I just didn't even notice I was there._

Gaara didn't respond and got out of his office immediately and ran to the elevator. He was worried. Why was his friend so upset? Could... Could Temari be right? He smiled happily and he tried his best not to. He was suppose to be sad for his friend, right? And maybe it wasn't even that, maybe someone died? The break up was a better option.

When he was finally in the hall, he could see Naruto outside, waiting, looking defeated and sad. He smiled weakly when he saw Gaara in front of him and hugged him tight. Gaara was confused and was praying that it was a break up and nothing serious.

"Sasuke and I broke up." There was some tears in his voice and Gaara embrace him tightly.

It was hard not to smile. One of his dreams came true. Finally, no more stupid, arrogant brunet.

"You don't seem shocked."

"Not really."

"It was that obvious?"

"Yes."

Naruto laughed sadly and freed Gaara who was suddenly cold. The redhead didn't want the hug to end, but people were starting to look at them weirdly and he understood that his friend was not at ease anymore.

"What about a drink at my apartment?" Gaara suggested.

"You have some vodka in here?" Naruto asked bitterly.

"Well, we can always buy some." Gaara added and Naruto nodded.

They walked in silence to Gaara's place after getting the vodka. Gaara invited Naruto to come inside and the blond looked a little impressed. He removed his coat and shoes and sit down on Gaara's couch. The redhead had disappeared into his kitchen and when he came back, it was with one glass and a beer.

"So, what happened?" Gaara finally asked as he looked at his friend emptying his third glass. He knew Naruto was going to be sick.

"Well, he wanted us to be out. I can't. Not with my family. They're always asking if I have a girlfriend and when I'm going to have children..."

"Why don't you tell them it's not for now?"

"I already did, but it's not enough. Aaaah, Vodka is my new lover now! No more fights!"

"Just hangover."

"You're not funny. So Gaara... Sakura told me you like someone."

Gaara was going to murder Temari.

"Yes."

"Who is it? What's her name?"

"His name. And it's a secret."

Naruto's eyes were wide open as if he had heard something weird.

"A guy?"

"Yes."

"But I thought you... I never thought you were gay..."

Gaara knew he wasn't. He couldn't care less about the gender. He didn't fall in love with Naruto's penis but for who he was.

"So, come on, tell me, who is he?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because it's impossible. He doesn't like me back. He's just a friend."

"Wait. You have another friend I'm not aware of?" Naruto jealousy was so obvious, Gaara smiled.

"What if it was the case?"

"I'm not okay with it! At all!"

"Why?"

"Because you're mine!" Naruto yelled coming closer to Gaara who didn't understand what the blond wanted to say. "I don't want to share you. You knew that Sasuke was jealous of you? He didn't want me to speak to you, so I said to him to fuck off. I can talk to anyone I want. And I wanted to talk to you. And to see you, but every time, we were fighting and I didn't have the guts to do it. I truly missed you, Gaara..."

Naruto was so close now, Gaara stopped breathing. What was Naruto trying to say exactly? His blue eyes were foggy because of the alcohol, but Gaara could see something else. Could it be...?

"I always wanted to see you... Who knows, maybe Sasuke was right..." Naruto continued, cupping his friend's cheek. "Maybe I was thinking about you when we had sex..."

Gaara didn't move or say anything. His friend was wasted and didn't know what he was saying anymore. He couldn't have these kind of thoughts about him, right? His feelings couldn't be mutual, Naruto would never love someone like him, he...

"Gaara, I want to kiss you..." and like that Naruto's lips were on his.

The kiss has the taste of vodka and Gaara hated vodka with passion, but he couldn't care less and it was the best thing ever. Right now, one of his fantasies were coming true and he was happy to be kissed so gently by the person he loved. He moaned in need. He was so aroused just by the kiss. He wanted to take him to his bedroom and make love to him all night long but it wasn't right. Naruto had just broken up and he was heart broken and it was why he was kissing him now. Regretfully, he pulled away.

"Naruto, we can't..."

"Why? Because you want someone else?"

"You're hurt. I don't want it like that."

"I'm sorry, I'm... Maybe I will go home."

"You can stay here if you want."

"I need to be alone." Naruto said.

A few minutes later, Gaara was alone in his apartment and he sighed. Why couldn't he just enjoy what Naruto wanted to give him?

The tightness in his pants reminded him how hard he was.

He needed a cold shower. Very cold.

*'*

 _Hi. I'm sorry about last night. I hope you're not upset._

 _ **I'm not. How is your head?**_

 _It hurts, thanks to the vodka, aha! Well, are you free this weekend? I want to make it up to you. What about a Star Wars marathon?_

 _ **Why not. Are you okay?**_

 _Yes, I am. Don't worry about me! :)_

But Gaara will always worry about him.

The weekend came fast and Gaara was strangely enthusiastic. Will they kiss again? Or was it really just the hurt that push Naruto to do it? When the bell rang, he could feel his hands were sweaty. He breathed and opened his door, doing his best to be as emotionless as he could.

"Hi, Gaara!" Naruto threw himself in Gaara's arms. "I'm so happy to see you", the blond whispered in his ear and Gaara could feel the caress of Naruto's lips on his neck. "So, it's Star Wars time! I brought Ramen!"

Gaara smiled and let him come in.

Twenty minutes later they were on Gaara's couch, each young man had a bowl of Ramen in their hands.

"Gosh, how I want to be Leia..." Naruto sighed.

"So, Harrisson Ford is your type?" Gaara asked, thinking that he definitely preferred Leia and Luke.

"Well, he's very good looking!" Naruto smiled and looked at Gaara. "Just like you."

"... Thank you." Gaara wasn't sure to understand what exactly Naruto was implying.

Naruto moved closer and put his head on Gaara's shoulder. One of his hands slid on the red head knee, and Gaara was hot immediately, but tried his best not to show anything. It wasn't weird after last time. Not at all.

"I'm sorry if I made you ill at ease last night."

"It's okay. Break ups are not easy."

"Well... I didn't do it just because of the break up." Naruto's head were tensed on Gaara's knee.

"Why did you do it?"

"Because I wanted to for a long, long time." Naruto looked up and smiled softly but Gaara could see his friend was sincere and scared. But scared of what? And did he just say he wanted it for a long time?

"But I don't want things to be weird between us. You like someone else and being your friend is very important to me and – "

Without thinking Gaara captured Naruto's lips and the blond was more than happy to respond to the invitation.

When they pulled apart, breathless, Naruto was smiling widely. "I never thought you could want me like this. I never thought it would be me..."

"You're stupid then." Gaara said, but he was smiling too. He felt happy, something he never thought he would feel.

Naruto was now sitting on Gaara's lap and they were kissing the life out of each other. The movie was long gone forgotten and Gaara's hands were on Naruto's ass and he was squeezing it and it made Naruto moan loudly. The blond's fingers were toying with Gaara's nipples and the redhead bit softly the blond's lower lip.

"Fuck, Gaara... I need you to fuck me..."

Gaara blushed at the words and kissed Naruto once again. "I don't have anything here... We have to go buy condoms and lube."

"No, we don't. I brought everything we need." Naruto said, smiling mischievously and then seemed a little embarrassed, "I didn't come here just for that! I just hoped that maybe you will want to do it with me and so I thought, well, better be ready than sorry, so, well, I came with condoms and lube."

"And Ramen."

"Of course, that was the most important thing!" Naruto laughed and got off Gaara. "What about we keep going in the bedroom?"

Gaara followed his friend nervously once Naruto grabbed what they needed to continue. He was going to have sex and as much as he wanted to, he wasn't confident at all.

"Everything's okay Gaara?"

"Yes. I... I just never..." Naruto could hear his friend was embarrassed and wasn't able to look at him.

Naruto seemed surprised.

"Never? Not even once?"

"No."

"But, you're so beautiful! I mean, look at you, you're just... So I... Do you really want it?"

"Yes." Gaara answered immediately and Naruto couldn't help but laughed at his optimism. "Don't laugh at me."

"You're just so cute... Gaara I want you so much..." Naruto kissed him hard and made them fall on the mattress. He climbed on top of Gaara and started removing their clothes. They were naked in no time and Naruto pressed their body together, making their desire grow. He grabbed the lube and started to prepare himself.

Gaara was breathless. Seeing Naruto like this, on top of him... Fantasies really could happen. But he didn't want to stay passive. Maybe he never had sex, but he read about it and he wanted to touch his friend. Delicately, he pulled away Naruto's fingers and shyly he pushed one of his inside the blond who bit his lip at the sensation. It was hot inside and the lube made it easy to sink his finger in the orifice, so he tried to insert a second and Naruto moaned loudly. He wanted to go slow but Naruto's expression and him impaling himself harder and faster on his fingers made him quicken his movements.

"Gaara, I need you... I need you to fuck me..." Naruto took Gaara's erection and stroke it vigorously and Gaara was almost orgasming when his friend stopped the movements, smiling. He put a condom on the redhead's cock and place himself on it and took it inside of him. "Fuck, yes..."

Gaara closed his eyes. He was going to come and it was too fast. Really too fast.

"Gaara, open your eyes... You're so beautiful..." Naruto whispered and he fastened and picked up the pace. "Touch me..." He took one of Gaara's hands and put it on his hard-on and encourage him to caress him.

Naruto tightened around him as he stroked him and once again he was at the edge. He was so hot, excitation rushing all over his body. He let a small cry escape his lips and he tensed. He was going to... A new emotion grew in him as he emptied himself, scratching Naruto's back and biting his lips hard.

As he felt Naruto lay next to him, Gaara blushed hard, ashamed of himself. It had been too quick, he knew that. It had been a total disaster. And he had nothing else to do but turning his back on Naruto to hide.

"Gaara, look at me."

Gaara turned his head a little.

"It's okay. It was your first time. We're all quick when it happens." Naruto tried to reassure him, but all he did was making Gaara's despair bigger. "Really, it's okay. We just need to practice more. And just know that I am totally for it." Naruto kissed Gaara's shoulder.

"... Really?"

"Oh yes. I have you now, I will not let the opportunity go!" Naruto smiled and kissed his cheek now. Then his neck. Then his spine.

Gaara could feel Naruto's cock against his ass and he wondered if Naruto will take him. He wanted to, of course, but it was scarier than being the one penetrating.

"Gaara... I'm still excited, can you..."

"What do you want?"

"Touch me."

Gaara was facing Naruto again and he took his member in his hand and stroked him. Naruto put a hand behind his neck and pulled him into a hard kiss. Gaara could feel precum drooping and Naruto groaning in the kiss. He was closed too, and knowing it was all because of him made him more daring and he bit Naruto's lower lip and pressed a finger in his entrance again. Naruto gasped as he accepted the intrusion with pleasure. Now, Gaara just had to find the knot that will make his lover to see stars. When Naruto's nails dug into his neck, he knew he had found it. His movements were more precise now as his confidence grew.

Naruto was trembling against him and he came with a cry that died in Gaara's mouth. Naruto had a real smile on his face and when he opened his eyes, he looked at Gaara with so much care, the red head heart stopped.

"Oh yes, I can't wait for you to fuck me again..."

Naruto laughed as he saw Gaara blushing and kissed him again. And again.

Gaara never felt this happy in his life.

*'*

It was late and all Gaara wanted was to come home and asked Naruto to come. It had been a year now they were together and he loved him more and more if it was possible. Things weren't always easy, as Naruto wasn't exactly out and had to see his family often but it was okay. It hurt sometimes, but he was happy like this so it didn't matter. Or maybe he was ashamed of him?

He frowned and got rid of those thoughts. He didn't sleep enough and he was feeling weird. That's all.

"Gaara-kun, are you still with me?"

Oh, right. He was about to sign a big contract with Orochimaru's company. He couldn't fuck up things now.

"You seem tired, maybe we should stop here."

"I'm fine."

"I see... Maybe we could do something else, then?"

And like this after years of not doing anything, he swallowed a pill that will make him feel good. So good. How is body was feeling so good as if all of his worried didn't exist anymore. It was...

"Gaara... Gosh, he's so cute like this! Don't move... Yes, this one will be for Kiba... Gaara, wake up you lazy ass! You told me you were going to work and I just found you sleeping! Baby bro? Hey!"

Gaara opened his eyes and a smiling Kankuro was here to welcome him to the reality. Gaara felt strange. His dream had been a hell of a ride, he knew that, but for the first time in a very long time, he didn't remember what it was about. He just knew Naruto was in it and it was good and not sad. He smiled happily.

"Oh, you're in a good. It's a first. What did you dream about to be that happy?"

"Naruto."

Kankuro smiled tenderly at his brother. He was sure he and Naruto will find each other again. After all, his brother was the cutest and the smartest guy on earth. Well, maybe not the cutest though. Kiba was very cute too. In a different way though. But the way he looked when he and Kankuro kissed was just the cutest and hottest thing ever.

Wait.

What the hell was he thinking?

"Kankuro?"

"Wh-what?"

"Your face is weirder than usual."

"Hey, my face is not weird! You have the weird face! Whatever. What was Naruto doing in your dream?" Kankuro should have known it was a mistake when something in Gaara's expression was a bit... Mischievous?

"Well, it happened here, in this bed and – "

"Okay, I'm outta here. Temari really has a bad influence on you! And go to work!" Kankuro escaped in the living room, as red as a tomato.

Gaara couldn't help but laugh a little. His brother was changing too, since he was seeing Kiba on a regular basis. His happiness felt less exaggerated, when he smiled it was genuine. He was less stressed now. Especially when things came to sex. He was still embarrassed, but the disgust and fear in his eyes were disappearing the more he saw Kiba. Gaara almost found him adorable when he was looking at his phone, texting the young man, blushing slightly and biting his lips as if no one could see him.

Adorable. He really thought his older brother was adorable.

Kankuro was right.

Temari really had a bad influence on him.

* * *

 **So, there was a lot of Gaara and Naruto in there. I hope yu liked it because I clearly love these two idiots together!**

 **See you!**


	12. Chapter 12

He couldn't help but smile as he looked at Kiba who was laughing and smiling with some of Kankuro's friends. He was happy the young man was having a good time. It was the first time they went to a party together, but it made Kankuro strangely excited. It was new and it was like dating someone. In a way.

He didn't really know what he and Kiba were. They spent a lot of time together, even more since Gaara was crashing for a while at Temari and Sakura's house. He thought he was going to see his friends more and do more sport, but all he had wanted was to spend some time with the young man. Most of the time they were out for a drink or to see some movies at a small cinema close to where Kiba lived which was projecting weird foreign movies. And also, they kissed a lot. Like almost all the time. Once they were safe in Kankuro's or Kiba's flat or in the dark of the cinema, their lips always locked for several minutes before one of them asked for air or to stop Kiba being too excited. But more and more, it was difficult for Kankuro to say stop. A part of him wanted it to keep on forever. It was a strange sensation. It never happened to him before. But a lot of things that happened with Kiba never happened before in his life.

For a while now, Kankuro thought a lot about sensual things. He often thought to himself what it would be like to have a naked Kiba next to him, to touch his skin, to kiss it, to taste it, to feel Kiba touching his body...

Damn.

Once again, he felt hot all of a sudden and a weird fear grew in his guts. He always had this strange sensation every time he thought about things like that. Sex was still terrifying. It was gross, violent and he couldn't understand why people wanted it all the time. But in a way he could get it, now.

He was so lost.

He glanced once more at the young man and he frowned. He was very close to one of the guests, touching his arm and laughing at his jokes too loudly. Kankuro didn't like that. At all. He turned his head away, looking annoyed.

Suddenly, an arm wrapped around his shoulders, "Hey, your friend is really cool Kankuro! And it's good to see you, it has been a while! With what were you busy? Or with whom?" asked Kisame, winking at him.

"Man, you know Kankuro will be single forever! He never brought anyone with him!"

"Yeah, I'm very happy on my own, don't worry!" Kankuro forced a smile and took a sip of his beer. But it was empty, he noticed a little bitterly.

"On your own, huh?" Kiba's voice raised behind him and he could sense at the tone the young man was annoyed.

"I'll be right back, I need to get another beer!" Kankuro ignored the young man and head for the kitchen, not looking at Kiba who was starting to feel angry.

He knew he was acting like a child and he couldn't stand it. Why was he jealous like that? Kiba wasn't his property, he could see anyone he wanted, but Kankuro wanted him for himself.

All for himself.

Kankuro opened the fridge, sighing. Maybe he should talk to Kiba. Maybe he wanted him to be his boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

What a strange term. How old was he, ten?

"Are you planning to stay alone in the dark for a long time?" Kiba asked, his arms crossed and he looked quite upset.

"No, I was going to go back to –"

"What the hell was that earlier?" Kiba interrupted him angrily.

"What are you talking about?"

"The whole "I'm so happy on my own!" ?! What am I? A fucking experiment of yours that needs to be hidden from the world?"

"What? No!"

"So what the fuck was that?! Am I too embarrassing to say that I'm your boyfriend?!"

"Boyfriend...?"

"Oh my God. I'm a fucking experiment." Kiba was clearly hurt and he was ready to go home.

"What? No!" Kankuro grabbed his wrist to make him stay with him. There was no way he was going to let him go like this. Especially with Deidara drooling all over him.

"So what am I for fuck's sake?"

"You ARE my boyfriend, you idiot!" Kankuro blushed. He couldn't believe he had just said that out loud.

"Fine, because that's what I want!"

"Fine, because that's what I want too!"

They stayed silent for a minute, looking at each other, feeling clearly very stupid.

"So, we're boyfriends?" Kiba asked, chuckling.

"Yes, we are." Kankuro answered, smiling and pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry, I got angry when I saw you all over Deidara..."

"The blond guy? I wasn't all over him at all! He's nice but my boyfriend is ten thousand times more interesting. And hotter. But he can become really stupid when he gets jealous."

"I'm not –" Kankuro started to argue, but Kiba's lips on his interrupted him.

He was now pinned against the fridge, kissing Kiba's lips with a passion he never thought he had. He put all his insecurities and all his jealousy in it. He was pulling Kiba's hair as his tongue invaded the young man's mouth. It was very possessive and animalistic. Kiba didn't seem to care though. Kankuro could even feel how excited Kiba was by it. He could feel how excited HE was.

"Kankuro..." Kiba whispered against his lips when he noticed Kankuro's condition. It was the first time he could feel and see desire in Kankuro's eyes. Never before Kankuro became hard. He was always the only one.

Kankuro didn't say a word. It was the first time he was like this. It was scary, but knowing it was someone like Kiba that awoke something like that in him made it less frightening. He still wasn't comfortable with it, though. The weird sensation was here again. It was a strange mix of guilt, disgust and fear. He didn't want to act on it now, but what if Kiba couldn't take it anymore and wanted to see someone else. Something inside him hated that idea.

He didn't want anybody to touch Kiba.

He didn't want anybody to kiss him.

He was the only one who could do that.

Kiba could see something burning inside Kankuro's eyes. It was so intense that he blushed. When Kankuro cupped his face to put him in another passionate kiss, he let him dominate him. He never thought that in two months, Kankuro would be like this. He wasn't even dreaming of something else than a few kisses. Most of the time, Kankuro was shy and rarely initiated things between them, but he was more than happy to keep on kissing him when they were at it. It was more tender and sweeter than anything else, but now, it was as if they were going to have sex in the kitchen. Kankuro was abusing his lips and digging his fingers hard in his neck and he was so hard Kiba couldn't believe it.

"Where is the freaking switch? Ah, finally, I can see... Oh well, I just wanted a beer, but it is way more interesting, un." Deidara said, looking at the two men, mockingly. "What a shame, I thought this young man was free. And what a surprise, Kankuro..."

"Dei, why are you so long to bring us beers? Oh. OH! But, Kankuro, you... You little bastard! There was definitively someone! I'm so happy for you, man! I always knew you will find someone interesting enough to catch your eye! Congratulation!" Kisame said with shark grin.

"Thank you..." Kankuro said, blushing hard.

"Don't worry, we will let you alone. I just need some beers! Itachi will never believe me..."

They let the two men took their beers, Kisame was still smiling happily and Deidara was chuckling a little when he saw how red they were and soon, they were alone.

"So, he really did want you..."

"Kankuro, stop thinking and kiss me."

The older man leaned to press his lips on Kiba's who sighed happily. It was sweet, far from where they were earlier. But soon, the need got the upper hand and Kiba's hand slide under Kankuro's shirt.

"Kiba... Kiba, I think I..."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No, please no..." Kankuro sighed as Kiba's hand stroked his back tenderly, making his spine shivered.

"Maybe it's time to go home, what do you think about it?"

Kankuro nodded and took Kiba's hand.

They quickly said goodbye and called a cab. Kankuro shivered a bit. It was still cold and the rain of March was freezing him to the bones. He felt Kiba's hand on his arms and he started rubbing it with force.

"Do you want to rip my cloak apart?"

"No, you're cold, so I try to warm you up."

"Well, it looks like you want to murder my cloak."

"Moron! But I think I know what will make you better..." Kiba whispered against his lips and slowly brushed them.

It worked very well. Kankuro couldn't think about the fact they were in a public space and even if it was late, people could still see them. Not that he was ashamed of Kiba and the feelings he had for him. He was just very aware of what people could think and do when they were afraid of something. But now, he wasn't thinking about it at all.

Kiba never truly pressed his lips against Kankuro's. He was playing, sometimes pulling away, sometimes licking his lips with a mischievous look. Kankuro's tongue went out to meet Kiba's and pulled him into a fiery kiss. They were more and more wet because of the rain, but they didn't care. They couldn't feel it. All they were focusing on, was the breath of the other, the sweet sighs and moans escaping from their lips.

It was driving Kankuro crazy.

It ended when a car parked next to them. Kiba pulled apart and opened the car door and invited Kankuro to get in the car. Kankuro gave his address to the taxi driver who was looking at Kiba strangely and the young man was staring at him too. When Kiba put a hand on his knee, the driver made a weird face.

Twenty minutes later, the cab parked in front of Kankuro's apartment block and when they got out of the car, Kiba blew a kiss to the driver who looked quite scared and rushed off like a shot.

"It was the homophobic bastard that drove me home a few months ago. I was with Gaara and he was giving me the same look."

"What did you do with Gaara to make him that uncomfortable?" Kankuro asked.

"... I'm not sure you wanna know..." Kiba didn't look at Kankuro and just made his way to the older man flat.

Anger got Kankuro again. It was becoming ridiculous. Now he was jealous of Gaara! His cute little brother who was so brave and was doing so well lately. Gaara, who was helplessly in love with Naruto. But a little voice in his head retorted that it didn't stop him to fuck Kiba, as Gaara had been so gentle to share. He had touched him in a way he couldn't. In a way Kiba was just asking without a word every time they kissed.

"Kankuro? Are you okay? You seem troubled." Kiba hung his cloak and take Kankuro's.

"I was just thinking."

"About what?"

Kankuro brought Kiba closer to him and stroked his cheek. He could see Kiba's blushing slightly and he loved it. The reactions his boyfriend had when he was with him, the way Kiba looked at him, he couldn't get enough of it. "About that." Kankuro said, kissing him again.

Kiba was trembling now in his arms, moaning into every kiss. "What about we carry on this "conversation" somewhere more comfortable?" Kiba panted and the sentence was so dirty in Kankuro's ear, he couldn't react. "I don't want sex." Kiba said, but Kankuro knew it was a lie. "I just want to show you something else, if you allow me to."

"I do." Kankuro responded trying to hide his nervousness the best he could.

Kiba smiled and took his hand as he guided them to Kankuro's bedroom. Kankuro was trying to keep his breathing normal, but his heart was pounding loudly in his ears. He was scared about what could happen. What if Kiba tried something after all, even he said he had no intention to have sex with him? What if he will be mad if he said no? What if he will grow tired of him and want to go and find someone that will be happy to do it? Someone like Deidara.

"Hey, you're not with me anymore."

"Sorry... It's just that... It's very... New. You here. With me. I mean, nobody ever entered my room before."

"Really?" Kiba asked, not even trying to hide his joy.

"Yes." Kankuro chuckled as the young man was smiling from ear to ear.

"Come on, then. We're going to do things your bed never saw before." Kiba said, sitting on the mattress and inviting Kankuro to do the same. "Okay, it didn't sound this dirty in my head." Kiba added, blushing.

Kankuro followed the young man and soon they were laying on the bed, making out like two teenagers. The thought made Kiba smiled. He was so happy about how things were going. He grabbed Kankuro's shirt and started to pull it up, but he stopped and looked at Kankuro to be sure it was okay. With a clumsy movement, Kankuro helped him to remove it. Kiba did the same with his piece of cloth and then pulled Kankuro closer to him.

It was the first time they were like this, the first time they could feel how soft they were, how they looked like without clothes. Kiba wanted to get them naked but he knew it was too soon. Maybe they will never get there, but it was okay.

Kankuro tensed a little at their closeness. It had been a while now they had invaded each other personal space, but he had never been this... Vulnerable. Clothes really were a fortress after all. He had never been really prude, mostly because he didn't care about it because at the time, the thought of intimacy didn't even exist in his mind. But now, now that he thought about kissing another person almost everyday, it was different. So much different.

The fingers of Kiba on his back, rubbing it tenderly, his lips on his neck, kissing his flesh gently, it was driving him so crazy he didn't know what he wanted anymore. When Kiba sank his teeth in his flesh he moaned loudly and couldn't stop. When Kiba's tongue lapped the mark to bite it after, desire pulsed into his body. Warmth flew to the small of his back and little cries got lost in Kiba's neck. His hands were so tensed on Kiba's back, he was going to let some marks. But at this moment he didn't care. Kiba just brushed on this sensible, so sensible area on his back while still biting his flesh on the back of his neck and he screamed in pure pleasure, eyes suddenly opened. Kiba sank his fingers in his flesh and he screamed again.

It was so good. It was so intense.

It was terrifying.

"Kiba, stop. Stop, stop, stop, I can't take it. I can't. Stop, please, stop."

He was almost crying now. The mix of pleasure and fear was so powerful he was barely breathing. He hissed when Kiba's fingers left his back and when the teeth abandoned his neck. It hurt so good, he wanted to beg for more but he couldn't. He didn't have any energy anymore. His heartbeats were so loud, he couldn't hear anything else.

He regained some energy when Kiba left the bed. His heart twisted when the body heat of his boyfriend wasn't there anymore. Why did he leave? Is it because he said he wanted to stop? Was Kiba getting angry? Oh, he surely was. He was going to lose him. What was he thinking? Of course lack of sex was going to be a problem for the young man. He never had any relationship without sex. Why would he think it was going to last if he didn't give anything to Kiba? He was not that special. He was not special at all. He was just a grown man that was so afraid of intimacy he couldn't even give something to the person he... Cared about.

He was going to lose him if he kept going like this. Kissing will never be enough. Kiba will leave and he will be alone. Why was it bothering him? He always had been alone. He was okay on his own. He was able to do what he wanted, when he wanted. So why the idea of losing someone he knew just for a few months was so terrible. Why did it hurt so much to think about it?

When Kiba was back in bed again, Kankuro couldn't face him. He wasn't ready to see the disappointment on his face. He had seen this expression too many times before. He couldn't forget Rasa's look. Damn, even after more than three years of him being gone, he wasn't able to forget it.

He almost jumped in surprise when he felt Kiba's arms around him and his hot breath on his neck again. "Are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was too much for you." Kiba put a lazy kiss on his flesh and it made Kankuro eased a little.

"I'm alright, don't worry."

"Of course I worry, I don't want to scare you. You're my boyfriend after all." Kankuro could feel Kiba's smile on his skin.

"Yes, I am. Kiba, I..." but he couldn't find the words.

"Hmm?" Kiba was slowly but surely falling asleep.

"I'm sorry."

But the young man was slightly snoring.

*'*

He entered Gaara's office absent minded.

His brother returned to work in the company one week ago. The redhead was still tired, but he looked a lot healthier too. He also seemed more at peace for a few weeks. As if a heavy burden suddenly disappeared.

"What do you want, Kankuro?"

"Hmm? Oh, I just wanted to give you this, you will need it." Kankuro answered, holding him some papers.

"Do you need something else?" Gaara asked, noticing his brother wasn't moving.

"Well... No, it's nothing, I should go."

"Kankuro."

"Gaara, don't worry about me."

"You always worry about me even if I told you not to. Now it's my turn."

"You... You really are too cute!" Kankuro said, hugging Gaara tightly.

"Stop this! Kankuro!" Gaara screamed, trying to get his brother off. "You're embarrassing!"

By the time Gaara was able to get rid of the hug, Temari was there. She must have felt bored at home, she was always visiting her brothers since she left. Gaara felt hopeless. He will never be alone with these two.

Never.

"What are you two doing? Why am I not invited for hugs?!" She yelled, ready to fight Kankuro to have some of Gaara's hugs.

"You're supposed to be pregnant and at home!"

"Being pregnant is not a disease, Kankuro! Let me hug him!"

"No, you're contagious!"

"You're stupid, you will never be a good uncle!"

"You're so mean!"

"Shut up you two!" Gaara yelled at them, his head in his hands.

Temari and Kankuro stopped immediately. "Are you okay? Does your head hurt? We're sorry... Wait. Oh my God, you're shitting with us." Temari could be outraged if she didn't find it funny.

"At least you stopped screaming. So, Kankuro, what is wrong?"

"Nothing!" Kankuro had hoped his diversion had been enough, but it didn't fool him apparently. "Well, it's nothing important."

"You were completely out five minutes ago. What happened with Kiba?" Gaara asked.

"What tell you it has anything to do with him? He told you?" Kankuro's voice was unsure, trying to read his brother. Did he really know something? After all, Kiba often talked with Gaara, it wouldn't be a surprise. But it was so embarrassing. He didn't want his baby brother to know what they did in his bed last night. He...

"So something happened with Kiba." Gaara interrupted his thoughts.

"You know nothing, then? Stop living with Temari, you're becoming as vicious as her!"

"Shut up, idiot!" Temari threw a pencil at him. "So, tell us. We can help you. What happened?"

"Well, it's... Embarrassing..."

"Did you two have sex and it wasn't good? Did you do something weird? Did you use condoms?" Temari spouted making Kankuro blushing and disgust.

"No! No, we didn't have sex. I... I can't. I don't know if I want it. I mean, yesterday it was... Well, kinda hot, I think? But I said stop and so we slept. Just sleeping." Kankuro added after seeing the look on his sister's face.

"You're so cute, Kankuro! I always thought Gaara was the cutest one, but I think you're as cute as he is!" Temari laughed.

"Don't laugh at me!"

"Sorry, it's just that you told us years ago that you were asexual and now you're freaking out like a virgin teenager who just don't know what to do! You're just not ready, Kankuro. I'm sure in no time, Kiba will be able to make you feel so good you will just beg for him to make love to you all night long."

"Temari!" Kankuro almost choked.

"What? It's okay to want sex, you know?"

"No! It's... And why don't you help me, you?" Kankuro pointed his finger at Gaara who was simply working.

"She came to my office for two years, telling me the same when I was with Naruto. It's your turn now." Gaara explained, amused by the situation, but he didn't want to show his brother how funny it was.

"You could sympathize with me a little."

"I'm working. And I do. You just don't see it. Because you're an idiot."

"I'm outta here, you two are impossible!" Kankuro stormed out of the office, extremely red, embarrassed and more lost than before.

"Well, he's doing great!" Temari finally said.

"Why are you here?"

"Well, I was bored at home without you since you abandoned me to go back to work."

"You're the one that said it was a very good idea."

"I know, but now I'm on my own again and I swear I'm going to die of boredom. And this thing is driving me crazy! I swear, she's never resting, always kicking and shit!"

"Temari, language."

"She's not even born yet. Whatever. I was bored and I needed to see people."

"So, now you did it. Go home."

"It's the end of the day, I will stay until you finished everything. I can help you, if you want."

Gaara looked at Temari suspiciously. She was awfully nice. She wanted to help him with the paperwork, something that never, ever happened before. Something was wrong.

"What are you hiding from me?"

"I'm not... It's just, it's Sakura's birthday in two weeks."

"I know that. You literally can't stop talking about it."

"Well... As you can guess, Naruto will be here."

"Yeah, I didn't doubt it."

"You're so smart. Okay, I see compliments will not make you forget. Gaara, Naruto... Naruto has a new boyfriend."

Gaara didn't blink, but his heart tore. It wasn't much of a surprise. Naruto wasn't great at being alone. For what the young man had told him, he always had been in a relationship since high school. Somewhere, he had just hoped that maybe... Maybe he was a little more important than the other. Which was a stupid idea. He was just convenient after he and Sasuke broke up. He was there at the right time.

Temari put a hand on his shoulder and sat on his desk. "I wanted you to know. I'm so sorry. I still can kick his ass. I'm sure if I ask Kankuro, he will help me." Temari tried to make him smile but she didn't succeed. "One more thing. I swear, after that, we're going to drink some beer at home. And you will drink for me", Temari smiled and Gaara looked at her with tearing eyes, "Sasuke. He got back with Sasuke."

Gaara breathed in loudly not to cry. He was back with this asshole then. The one that always made him cry, the one he always told he was busy when he wanted to spend time with him when they were in college, the one he was so sure Naruto had forgotten when they were dating. How stupid was he, seriously?

He felt a tear on his cheek and Temari fingers stopped it. "He's stupid. We will make him regret it, I promise. You're the best thing that ever happened to him. You made mistakes, yes, but you were a great boyfriend, I know that. And you're more handsome and interesting than Sasuke, or whatever his name. Must be stupid with a name like that."

"You have no idea how stupid this guy is." Gaara replied and the corner of his mouth twitched. Temari really knew how to make things lighter.

"That's the spirit." Temari smiled. "We will make sure Naruto is just going to look at you."

"You're impossible."

"You love me like that."

He did.

*'*

Naruto sneezed.

"Somebody was talking about you!" Ino laughed and gave him a tissue. "Are you sick? You seem a little feverish. I can call Sasuke so he can be your nurse." She winked at him and Naruto rolled his eyes.

Things were going well with Sasuke. The brunet was less stubborn and arrogant. He was more handsome than ever, he had a very good job, had finally worked on his family issues and was a good lover. Everything was perfect.

Except Sasuke was still very jealous. When Naruto had told him Gaara will be there, he was not happy. Very very not happy. They didn't really fight. Naruto had just been a bit annoyed.

Apart from that, everything was perfect.

Except Naruto didn't feel particularly excited about anything when he was with Sasuke. He even felt... Bored. Everything was going so well, without any surprises. He couldn't understand why. Things wasn't that different than when he was with... He sighed. Once again, he was thinking about Gaara. He wasn't able to stop. And last time he was like this, it was in college. He couldn't get the redhead out of his mind. He was fed up with himself.

"Something's wrong? You and Sasuke are okay?"

Naruto sighed softly. He wanted to talk about those things with Sakura, but it had been really hard lately. He understood why. She was a doctor and she didn't have a lot of time. They were seeing each other often because of Gaara. She and Temari always wanted them around and he liked it a lot. But being in love and living with his sister's ex complicated things, now. Except from texts, it was hard to talk and neither of them loved texting or talking over the phone too much. He really missed the time when they were chatting on Sakura's couch, beer in their hand, telling each other the pros and cons of dating a Sabaku. Mostly, there were pros.

Thankfully, Ino was there. He became really fond of his blond co-worker. They spend more and more time together as Sakura wasn't available anymore. He liked it. It wasn't the same, but being with Ino, and often Hinata who was a really sweet girl, was always interesting. Ino always had something to say and it was often the truths people didn't want to admit to themselves. It was refreshing.

"Are you still with me?"

"Yes, Ino, don't worry about it."

"Something is obviously upsetting you. Tell me, what is it?"

"Sakura's birthday is in two weeks and she invited us."

"Okay. And?"

"Gaara will be there."

"Oooooh! So much drama in perspective! What, I love drama! So, it's bothering you, huh? Still thinking about your handsome ex?"

"Ino! Well... I don't know, with Sasuke, things are... Are..."

"Boring? Sex is boring? Ouch, was it that good with Gaara?"

"Ino!" Naruto looked around them. They were alone. "With Gaara it was... Really intense. It was always mind blowing and... Why am I telling you that? It's very good with Sasuke too, it's just... Not the same. And we don't see each other that much. And it's been only two or three months that we are together, we still have time!"

"You dated the guy for what, three years before that? You can't say it's really new."

"Shut up. I don't want to think about it anymore."

 _When do you finish work? Are you free tonight?_

Speaking of the devil.

 _ **Well, I finish in five minutes, I'm still waiting for Ino. Yes, I am :) what are you thinking about?**_

 _Cinema and restaurant. What do you say? I can be here in 10 minutes._

 _ **I say yes!**_

Naruto smiled and put all of the weird feelings he could have behind him. Gaara didn't matter anymore. It was over between them, for good reasons and he needed his heart and brain to understand that and not beat faster every time he was seeing red hair in the street. Or on TV. Or secretly hoping that every time his phone was vibrating, it was Gaara that told him that they needed to talk seriously about what happened.

"You're thinking again. You usually never do that, it's creepy. Was it Sasuke?"

"Yes. We're going to a restaurant and then cinema."

"No ramen? What did you do to my Naruto and tell me what you've done to him?!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, but smile. "You're an idiot Yamanaka."

"Ah, finally someone who have some sense and tell you the truth!" Shikamaru appeared from nowhere and made Naruto jump. "Sorry, I didn't want to scare you, Naruto."

"Shut up Shikamaru! I'm so smart, you two are just jealous."

"I'm a freaking genius, I don't see how I can be jealous of you."

"I have a hot girlfriend, you don't."

"Women are troublesome."

"You just can't get any, that's why you say that!"

 _I'm here._

"Well, Ino, Shikamaru, see you tomorrow!"

"See you!" Shikamaru said, stopping fighting with Ino for a minute.

"Say hi to Sasuke and tell him not to tire you too much!" Ino smiled at Naruto and she picked the fight up again and Shikamaru was more than happy to run away.

*'*

 _ **Are you free tomorrow?**_

 _Sorry, I'm not. I have some homework to do._

 _ **You seemed to take college very seriously for some time now.**_

 _Well, I had to, I'm still young and I have so many opportunities. Unlike you, old man! :p_

 _ **I'm not that old!**_

 _You are. But you're lucky, I love older guys. They're just sexy and smart and damn sexy._

 _ **You're such a poet. What about Friday?**_

 _Sorry, my sister already took this day._

Kankuro sighed and put his phone away. Since they had –, well. Since their little sexy things in Kankuro's bed after Itachi's party, Kiba had been really busy and distant. He wasn't as flirty as he was, he didn't ask to see each other anymore. Kiba could almost harass him to know where he was free. Now he just replied, less and less fast at his texts.

He knew it. The chance that he had met someone, most likely in college, was higher and higher. Fuck. It hurt to think about it. And it was very irritating. He kicked his coffee table hard and winced. It wasn't a good idea. Furnitures always won against human feet.

 _Can we see each other Saturday? I'm all free this weekend. You can even stay at my place for the weekend._

Kankuro hated himself to feel so happy after feeling so angry. What the fuck was Kiba doing to him?

 _I miss you like crazy._

This fucking brat.

 _ **I will be there**_.

He was too weak.

* * *

 **It is kind of a filler chapter. I have the impression that not a lot happened, except I'm frustrating sexually Kiba a little more XD**

 **I still hope you enjoyed it!**

 **I also wanted to say that I'm not sure if I will be able to update every week. Chapters are becoming a lot longer than before and some are really hard to write (flashbacks are great but damn, so much pain). But I will not abandon this story, at all!**

 **Please guys, help me with title chapters, I'm out of ideas XD**

 **See you next week folks :)**


	13. Chapter 13

When the door opened, green eyes met his and his mouth dried.

Of course he knew Gaara was going to be there. But it was the first time since the break up. His heart beat faster and he almost hugged him. All because of old habits, of course. It wasn't as if he still had some feelings for him.

"Hello, Naruto." Gaara gave him a small smile and let him enter the house.

Fuck. Gaara still was as beautiful as he remembered.

"H-Hi." Naruto stuttered and he knew that he will be blushing if he kept on looking at his ex boyfriend like this. "Sakura!" He ran to her and pulled her into a big hug. "I missed you so much!" And these words were just for her. Nobody else.

"I missed you too, Naruto! It's so good to see you!" Sakura said, hugging him so hard he was almost suffocating. "Sorry! Where is Sasuke?"

"He's on his way." He could feel Gaara's gaze on his back. He could feel he wasn't very happy about it. "I was with my family, so we couldn't come together."

Some things don't change, Gaara thought and he was almost happy to know this.

"Naruto! Come here! It's been so long! I missed you!"

"I missed you too, Temari. Wow, your belly is... Very beautiful!" Naruto said when he noticed the look on Temari's face. "How are you?"

"Fine, everything is perfect with the little one." She smiled, a hand on her belly.

"So cool! Can I know if it's a boy or a girl, now?"

"No."

"So cruel, Sakura..."

The ring bell echoed in the house, making everyone shut up. Sakura went to the door and greeted the guest with a smile. "Hi Sasuke. It's been a while."

"Hi Sakura." Sasuke smiled back at her.

Gaara was about to leave the hall when Temari caught him. "Please, be nice."

"I'm always nice."

"You are now?" She teased him, making sure he was sitting down again.

"That's what you say all the time."

Temari laughed and greeted Naruto's boyfriend with a small nod. She wasn't really at ease at all. She was team Gaara, of course. But she had to admit, Sasuke was a very handsome man. Not as much as Gaara, of course.

But damn, Naruto really attracted good looking guys.

*'*

"Sorry, I'm late! My sister didn't want to let me go, I swear, I really escaped from my parents' house. It reminded me a lot of memories." Kiba gave Temari and Sakura a quick hug. "Hi, I'm Kiba, nice to meet you."

Naruto grimaced. Was Gaara serious? He really invited his new boyfriend, the one he had been cheating on him with? Naruto vaguely answered something coherent and Sasuke gave him a weird look. Naruto smiled at him to reassure him and it seemed to work. All he wanted was to punch this asshole in the face. But he was a civilized man. He will not do it.

"Kankuro is still not here?" Kiba asked, surprised.

"No, he didn't realize how late it was when he went for a run. He texted to say he was going to be late. Don't worry, he will be here for you." Temari winked at the young man who blushed a little.

"I'm not sure he will survive without his boyfriend here." Gaara said with his famous flat tone.

"Hey, be nice!" Kiba retorted, a little embarrassed.

"I'm not nice." Gaara loved how his friend was so easy to tease.

"Yeah, you're right on that." Kiba punched him in the arm before sitting next to him.

Naruto didn't like how Kiba was so familiar with the Sabaku family. He didn't like how he was so touchy with Gaara and how Gaara didn't seem to care. Fuck, he knew it. They had fucked. They were clearly fucking and it made him nauseous. How Gaara could do something like that? And what was this Kankuro's boyfriend thing?

"Are you okay, usuratonkachi?"

"Don't call me like that, asshole!"

"Well, you had an idiotic face, not my fault."

"Hey, it's not a nice thing to say!"

Gaara looked at the couple fight and he felt sick. They were so... So... Close. It was disgusting. Seeing Naruto with a moron like this. He deserved so much better.

 _Much better than me too._

He felt dizzy. The voice was gone since he had stopped doing drugs, but in a way, it was still inside him. His self loathing wasn't directly talking to him anymore, but he couldn't stop those kind of thoughts to pollute his mind.

"Don't worry, Gaara. I'm here if you want to make him jealous." Kiba was so close to his ear, it made him shiver a little.

"Moron." Gaara whispered, not pushing his friend away. "But thank you."

"My pleasure. Look, it's working" Kiba winked and hugged him and gave Naruto a provocative look. "Ouch, why did you do that?" The brunet rubbed his head, looking at Gaara as if he had been betrayed.

"Because you're a child."

To that, Kiba only pouted.

Someone rang at the door and Kiba's eyes were full of stars, forgetting the pain Gaara caused him.

"It must be Kankuro! Don't move Temari, I get it." Kiba smiled and ran to the door.

"Aaaaah, if only you could be like that, Gaara..." Temari sighed exaggeratedly and it made Sakura chuckled a little.

"Kissing and doing sexual things to Kankuro? You're sick." Gaara replied, staring into space and Temari just burst into laughter, small tears running down her cheeks.

"What?" Naruto wasn't able to stay silent at the revelation this time.

"I didn't lie earlier when I said Kiba was Kankuro's boyfriend." Gaara explained to the blond, looking directly at him and Naruto inexplicably blushed.

"But... You and Kiba, I mean... We're talking about Kankuro... What the hell is happening?" Naruto was so lost, Gaara couldn't help but smile a little. He was cute when he was trying to incorporate too much weird informations.

Sasuke gave him an annoyed look, not liking how he was looking at Naruto and Gaara was staring at him, emotionless, but he was glad that after all those years, he was still a threat in Sasuke's eyes. Did it mean that Naruto was still...

"Yeah. A lot happened since the last time you saw him." Sakura said to her friend who was still not believing one word.

"The last time I heard something about a guy called Kiba, it wasn't in Kankuro he was interested." Naruto replied bitterly and gave Gaara an accusing look.

"Well, if you want some proof, why don't you go and see by yourself." Gaara tried to keep his flat tone, but the cutting remark had hurt him more than he thought. But he couldn't defend himself. After all, he had kissed Kiba when they were still dating. And he had fucked him right after they broke up. And to think of it now, it was a very childish thing to do. He wouldn't be able to do the same now.

Meanwhile, Kankuro was still on the doorstep, Kiba's mouth on his and he couldn't care less what the other were thinking or saying about him. Kiba's hands were stroking his waist gently and he let out a moan when fingers brushed the end of his back. The same area that made him lose control a few weeks ago.

Since the time they had been half naked in his bed, Kiba had been really careful with him. They never kissed too long, they always went to bed with their pajamas on. No daring hands. Nothing else happened. At all. Maybe Kiba was really losing interest in him after all. He always smiled to him, always come when he asked him, but he was still distant. He was still less and less available. Kankuro was waiting longer and longer to have some answers. It made his heart pinch more and more. The scenario of Kiba seeing someone else was more and more plausible.

A sick feeling rushed to his guts. He had this unbearable sensation more and more. He had to do something about it. Maybe... Maybe he could try, after all. Kiba will be happy and maybe it will be okay. He had desired him once, he could feel this way again, he knew that. He just had to ignore this disgusting thing his entrails were doing every time he thought about sex. It was Kiba. Kiba wasn't disgusting at all.

"I think the others are waiting for us." Kiba pulled away, but not too much, his hands caressing Kankuro's back. "But I just want to kiss you..." Kiba leaned against him and kissed him again.

Kankuro laughed against his lips. "Like you said, people are waiting for us."

"But it's been a week. Without seeing you and kissing you... In a very innocent way, don't worry." Kiba added, trying to capture Kankuro in a kiss once again. And he succeeded.

"Oh my God, Gaara wasn't lying." Naruto's voice raised behind them, shocked and maybe a bit of disgust could be heard in his voice.

*'*

"So, you are Itachi's brother! I swear, all he did during college was talking about you. They all say that I have a brother complex but I don't think I can beat him. Even Kisame wasn't as important as you." Sasuke blushed a little and Kankuro laughed.

"Well, they're engaged now." Sasuke sighed and cursed his brother in his head.

"Don't be embarrassed, it's natural to be like this when you have a cute little brother!" Kankuro said, looking at Gaara who was trying not to show how ashamed of his brother he was.

Kiba put one of his arms around Gaara shoulders, grinning like a child. "Don't blush, you're very cute, that's a fact!"

Kankuro could see how much his boyfriend cared about his baby brother. Gaara was trying to keep his face even, but every time he saw him with Kiba, he was happy. The two young men cared about each other a lot. Kiba loved teasing Gaara in his own way and the redhead was always happy to torture his friend in response. Kiba kissed Gaara's hair, hugging him a little while Gaara was trying to get away from this tenderness. He loved it, but there was too much people, he couldn't accept it. After nudging Kiba, his baby brother got up and went inside.

They would have made a cute couple, Kankuro thought and jealousy was here once again, eating him up a little more. At least with Gaara, Kiba could have everything he wanted. Kankuro felt angry. He got up and went inside the house. He needed to be alone for a while.

Gaara was refilling his glass. Juice. He was feeling tired of drinking juice. He dreamt of a cold beer or a glass of wine, but he didn't trust himself enough. He knew he was better now. His brain was less and less thinking about taking anything, he had less and less nightmares. He began feeling like himself.

"Gaara, don't you think Kankuro is weird lately?" Kiba appeared behind him, looking seriously concerned.

"He's always weird."

"Yes, I know, but he's... Weirder. He's very distant. It's not the same anymore when we kiss. He seems to want something that I don't understand."

"Maybe he wants sex."

"Gaara! We're talking about your brother!" Kiba said, outraged.

"Yes, I know. That's why I don't want to have this conversation with you."

"But you're the only one I can talk to about him!"

"You can ask Temari."

"It's not the same! Please, I'm really worried! And now he just disappeared and he gave me a weird look and... What am I going to do?"

"What about... Talking to him? You didn't even tell him about..."

"I don't want to tell him that. It's embarrassing." Kiba added when he saw Gaara's expression. "But talking... Thank you, you're a genius Gaara." Kiba hugged him, happy to finally see a solution that was totally logical in Gaara's mind.

And this was the time when Kankuro decided to reappear and he wasn't looking happy. He had a strange look on his face and Gaara raised a brow. Kiba was right. His brother was weird. Usually, he would have started a group hug or something annoying like that. Now, he was keeping his distance and not even smiling.

"Kankuro!" Kiba went away from Gaara to walk towards his boyfriend, taking his hand. "Where were you? You just... Are you okay?" He asked when Kankuro looked at him with a very serious expression.

Without a word, Kankuro took Kiba away, leaving Gaara alone in the kitchen. All of this just for that. Gaara sighed and went back to refill his glass of juice. It was depressing.

"What did you do to make Kankuro upset?"

Gaara turned his head and the only thing he thought was how much he missed this voice.

"Naruto... I didn't do anything. They just need to talk." Gaara replied, looking at him. He was alone. Sasuke was chatting with Sakura and Temari in the living room. He looked a little too at ease in Gaara's opinion.

"And you have nothing to do with it." The tone was somehow accusing.

"Exactly. You have a problem with it, maybe?" Gaara asked, annoyed.

"I don't know, he just has the same name that the guy you cheat on me with." Naruto answered bitterly.

So, they were going to have the discussion now.

"I just kissed him when we were dating. I didn't cheat on you." Gaara said, flatly. He really had to stay calm this time. Things didn't really go well the last time they talked.

"It is the definition of cheating." Naruto tightened his fists. Gaara could tell the chat was not going to go smoothly.

"No. I didn't sleep with him back then."

"Because you did sleep with him?" Naruto was visibly hurt.

"What if I have? It's not your problem anymore. Didn't take you long before running into his arms again." Gaara wanted to vomit the words, but he knew he had to stay calm.

"What does that mean?" Naruto's ton was more and more deep.

"Maybe you are not as innocent as you want me to believe." Gaara's anger took over him. He couldn't say anything either. They weren't dating anymore. But fuck, seeing Sasuke again, just thinking what he could do with the man he loved, made him resentful.

"I would have never done that to you, you know that." Naruto gripped Gaara's shirt. He wasn't a violent person, but he strangely wanted to punch the redhead in the face. He never thought once about Sasuke for the two years they were together. Not even once.

"Well, I thought you would never leave at the first obstacle, but look where we are."

"You fucking lied to me, Gaara." He pushed the redhead against one of the wall and he could see the Gaara's gaze darkened. "You never told me anything. You never... We never talked about anything. I thought we were fucking happy. I was happy. I was..." Naruto looked at his feet. He couldn't tell him. Not now. Not like this. Not with Sasuke that close. "I never thought about leaving you." He whispered.

"But you did anyway." Gaara gripped Naruto's fist, but didn't get away from him.

They were both angry. Hurt. They were both panting, not moving at all. It had been four months since they had broken up and even talked to each other. Gaara had missed the blond like crazy. He thought about him everyday. How many times did he dreamed about talking to Naruto once again? He always thought they would be able to talk like adults and maybe... Maybe it would have led to them getting back together. But now, he was just against a fucking wall, his ex almost kicking the shit out of him when his new fucking boyfriend was in the next room. They were far away from the kissing and hugging Gaara had dreamed about.

But at the same time, they were almost there. Their bodies were practically pressed against one another, their faces were close, Gaara's grip on Naruto's hand was lighter now and anger was soon replaced by something else in their eyes. Naruto was staring at his lips and Gaara opened his mouth a little, as an invitation, and the blond swallowed hard.

"Guys, what are you doing? I heard you almost screaming, everything's okay?" Sakura appeared behind them, worried. She didn't want them to fight. Especially not when it was her birthday.

"Yeah, everything is fine." Naruto reassured her and went away from Gaara right when Sasuke came to see what was happening.

The blond grabbed his arm and took him away to rejoined Temari.

"Really, settle the score now?" Sakura asked him, astounded.

"We never had the chance before." Gaara opened the fridge once again to get his freaking juice even though he didn't want any anymore.

"Are you alright?" Sakura asked him and he shrugged. In moment like this, he just wanted to forget everything and he knew he could do stupid things. He was hoping he would be able to be on his own again and the tension and craving he was feeling now told him something else.

He felt suddenly tired and it got him angry. Being healthy really was harder than he thought. Sometimes, he just wanted to quit everything and disappear. It would be easier for everyone. A tender hand on his shoulder pushed his disturbing thoughts away. Sakura was smiling at him gently. He squeezed her hand and he felt a bit better.

He was not going to let his shadow self win.

"Hey, it's cake time! Sakura, get your beautiful ass over here!" Temari yelled from her couch.

"I think we're needed." Sakura chuckled and invited him to go back to the others. She knew it wasn't an easy situation, but it was out of the question not to have Naruto and Gaara to her birthday. And they had been pretty civilized. They didn't have a choice, though.

She would have punched them.

*'*

"Kankuro, what the hell is wrong with you?"

When he had no response, he tried to let go of Kankuro's grasp, but the man was gripping him hard and soon, there were in an empty room, upstairs.

Before Kiba could say a word, Kankuro smashed their lips together. It was so desperate, Kiba was not willing to respond to it. He pushed himself away and made sure they were now at a respectable distance from each other.

"Seriously, you're really hard to get! Three weeks ago we were so close it was like a dream and now, just to see you or talk to you is a goddamn miracle. And now you grab me and push me in an empty room! I can't follow you."

"You really don't understand what it could mean?"

"No." Kiba frowned. Of course he had thought about something, but it was because of Gaara and his stupid ideas. There was no way in hell it was an invitation to have sex. Right?

Or maybe he was wrong. Kankuro was coming closer to him and the way he looked at him made him swallow hard. But it wasn't logical at all. It was Kankuro. The guy that couldn't talk about sex, couldn't stand too much intimate touch. The same guy that had a trembling hand on his waist and who was leaning closer to his face.

Damn hormones, he couldn't think straight anymore. Kankuro's breath was on his lips, his heart nearly crashed his chest to get out of his body. His eyes were mesmerized by the tongue that was licking Kankuro's lower lip. Kiba wanted to bite it.

"Kankuro, Kiba! Where are you guys? It's cake time!"

Temari's voice woke Kiba up. They couldn't do it. Not here.

"We need to go downstairs. We will talk about it later."

Kankuro was still tensed and just nodded.

*'*

"Happy Birthday, Sakura!"

The woman blew the candle and everybody applauded. She was smiling widely, she was obviously happy. She was so beautiful, so strong. She hugged Temari tightly and whispered something in her ear that made the blond woman chuckled and pecked her lips.

Gaara thought it would have been nice, having Naruto in his arms like this instead of almost kicking each others' ass. Having the blond in his arms, hearing his laugh, seeing him blush a little at all the dirty things he would have murmured in his ears.

Naruto thought that it would have been so much easier if Sasuke had not been here. He would have talked properly with Gaara, maybe making things up and... And other things he didn't want to admit to himself now. When Sasuke's grabbed his hand, he faked a smile and couldn't face the hurt on his ex boyfriend face.

Kiba thought it would be nice to be able to be just like these two wonderful women. Everything seemed so easy and perfect. He was tired of always wondering what was going on or if he was going to do something wrong. But when his eyes met Kankuro's he knew one thing. Even if it wasn't simple, this man worthed all the troubles in the world.

Kankuro thought it would be so nice to be that comfortable with someone else. Hugging and whispering without having the feeling of doing something gross and unforgivable. He felt Kiba looking at him and he stared right at the young man's eyes. He was the only person that he let touch him, kiss him and strip him. The only person with whom it didn't feel too wrong. The only person he didn't want to lose because of his weirdness. He was sure now. He was going to do what he had to.

*'*

"Be safe on the road." Sakura hugged Naruto tightly as if she didn't want him to go. Naruto was more than happy to hug her back and his eyes met Gaara's and all he could see was a weird mix of jealousy and anger.

"It was good to see you again, Naruto." Temari smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I missed you too, Temari. The little one is really getting more and more space!" Naruto smiled stupidly at Temari's belly.

"Are you implying that I am fatter?"

"What? No! Well, in a way, but... No, I was kidding, please don't kill me!"

"Get out of here you stupid brat!" The pregnant woman yelled smacking the blond behind the head, "Good bye Sasuke, it was a pleasure to meet you!" She gave him her most beautiful smile and she was definitely amused about how the brunet didn't know how to react.

"We're going to hit the road too! I had a lot to do tomorrow and I want to be able to wake up early."

"Oooh, Kankuro... What keeps you up at night? Or who?" Temari asked mischievously, a hand on her mouth, very proud of her stupidity.

Kankuro didn't reply. He vaguely said goodbye and he was out of the house within seconds.

"What the hell is wrong with him? He was funnier before, when he was just blushing and babbling about this."

"Well, he's tired." Kiba replied, putting his coat on. "And strange..."

He looked so defeated, Temari patted his head to cheer him up. "I'm sure everything will be okay. But hurt my brother, I swear you will regret to be even born."

Kiba couldn't help but laugh. "It wasn't supposed to be funny." Temari frowned. This little shit wasn't impressed by her at all.

"I know you mean it, but it's funny. I just have to run and you will never catch me."

"You little... I still have a wife. Soon to be wife. Whatever. She can punch you. And believe me, you don't want that." As to confirmed Temari's words, Sakura cracked her knuckles. "She still does some boxing in her free time."

"It's a very interesting information. You two look so beautiful and so smart. I'm legit scared now." Kiba said, trying to look frightened.

"Tsss, go to your boyfriend, moron!" Temari pushed him out of her house and looked at him opened the car door, waving goodbye.

"Finally, some calm now!" Sakura fell on her couch, tired.

"I'm going to bed." Gaara simply said and ran upstairs.

"Wait, we have to... dinner first..." Sakura said, watching the redhead disappear in the stairs.

"I think he deserves some time alone." Temari sat next to her lover and brushed her hair tenderly. "It had been hard for him, but he stayed because he knew you wanted him there."

"I'm starting to think Gaara actually likes me." Sakura chuckled and came closer to Temari.

"Of course he likes you! Who wouldn't?" Temari looked so shocked, Sakura couldn't help, but kiss her.

She felt Temari smiling in the kiss and her hand cupping her cheek. They made out like this for a few minutes and it made Sakura crazily happy. They didn't have much time together, especially since the pregnancy and Gaara moving here. Her lover also had some loss of libido that was making her go crazy sometimes.

And it was one of those times.

"Temari... I think we should stop."

"Why?"

"Gaara is just upstairs, he could see us."

"Well, I'm sure if he does, he will just go to his room like a nice kid." Temari's lips went down her neck and licked it, making her shiver. "I feel kinda bad, babe."

"Why?" Sakura took her in her arms.

"Sasuke is a nice guy. I liked talking to him. I'm the worst sister ever."

"No, you're not. Sasuke is a good guy. He may seem cold, but deep down, he was always nice. I had a huge crush on him when I was in college, you know?. Naruto won. Like without making any efforts. So I dated a guy that looked just like him. Crazy years, I tell you."

Temari chuckled in her neck and her breath made Sakura's skin tense. "And then, I showed you a brand new world ~ "

"The best world ever." Sakura grinned and kissed her forehead. "You know, I think Naruto is still thinking about Gaara. He couldn't stop looking at him today. He's never like this with Sasuke. He never had been. He always had stared at Gaara, hoping he could have him, you know? In college, he was so into your brother, it almost hurt me every time he talked to me about him. I was so happy for him when he told me they were dating. I never saw him that happy before. He wasn't that thrilled when he said he was back with Sasuke."

"Well, what is he waiting for? Gaara still clearly wants to be with him."

"I think they need time and to be more confident for it to happen. And they're stupid. I don't know why, but when it comes to Gaara, Naruto is blind. Gaara is too. What are we going to do with those idiots? I just want them to be okay."

"They will be. I will do my best for Gaara."

"You're already doing it. You're the best sister he could have." Sakura's hands moved up and forth on her lover's head, massaging her slowly.

Temari didn't respond, but tilted her head to look at Sakura directly in the eyes. She lifted up one of her hands and softly put her pink hair behind her ear. They brushed the skin of her earlobe and Sakura closed her eyes to enjoy the touch as much as she can.

The soft touch leaned to her mouth and Temari drew her mouth with her fingertip and when a finger pushed a little harder on her lips, Sakura opened her mouth and her eyes. Temari was smiling the way she always does every time she wanted to make her lose her mind. Sakura licked and sucked the finger and the lewd look on Temari's face worsened.

Another finger asked to enter her mouth and she accepted it without a second thought. Soon, the second hand of Temari venture to the small of her neck and she dug slowly her finger in Sakura's flesh. She could feel the tension in her muscles. She made circles to soothe the tension and Sakura moaned slightly against her fingers. Her eyes darkened a little more. Her hand left Sakura's neck to trail to her breast. She slid it under Sakura shirt and she could feel her trembling.

It had been so long. It had been so long since she had been touched or even touched herself. She didn't like the second option. Nothing was better than Temari's hand or mouth on her, on her inner thigh or her clit. Nothing was better than feeling fingertips circling on this special spot inside of her.

"You're so tense. Do you want something, baby?" Temari's voice was amused, but the tone was full of a desire she didn't feel in a long time. She took one of Sakura's nipples and pinched it softly and she loved the little whine that crossed her lips.

Sakura didn't know how to think anymore. She was so hot, all she wanted was being touched. She must be already so wet she could have been embarrassed, but right now, she didn't care at all.

"It's your birthday. Tell me want you want."

The pinch was less gentle now and she bit her lips hard. Gaara was still upstairs. She didn't want him to know what was happening now.

Temari chuckled and kissed her cheek innocently before sliding to the corner of Sakura's mouth. She licked the corner of her lips before biting her sensually. She wanted to make her forget her name and to reduce her to a complete mess.

And it was working.

"You. I want you." Sakura finally found the strength to talk. Her gaze was blurry and it was so clear she was already on the edge, Temari wanted to tease her a little more.

"How do you want me, baby?" She asked, undoing the button of her shirt to have a better access at her beautiful breast. "Tell me." She sucked her earlobe and Sakura moaned again.

"Fuck! I don't know. Do something, I need you, I just need you, please." Sakura begged, biting her lips.

Temari's breathing fastened. She didn't want to lose control. She loved it when Sakura was just willing to let her the control of their lovemaking. She loved demonstrating some dominance while Sakura loved bending to her.

"Why don't you just touch yourself, sweetheart? Show me how much you want me." She whispered into her ear before sucking and biting her earlobe to encourage her.

Sakura swallowed hard and let one of her hands lift her skirt and then slide under her underwear. She and Temari were still looking at each other. They loved making love like this. They couldn't get enough of all the expressions that could cross their faces, the moment they were almost orgasming, the moment they lost control. And tonight, her lover clearly wanted to look at her pleasure herself. She licked her lips, just the way it made Temari go wild and she started stroking her clit in a slow pace.

The sensation made her close her eyes, but she could still feel Temari's gaze, memorizing every sighed, every sign of pleasure on her face.

"Temari... Mmmh.. Fuck, it's so good..." Sakura could feel Temari's hand gripped a bit on her breast and her breathing becoming chaotic. She perfectly knew was she was doing to Temari speaking like this. "Fuck, I need you so much..." She moaned as quietly as she could, looking now directly in Temari eyes.

And that was it.

She was now without underwear, her hands was pushed away with authority and two fingers had entered her without gentleness but she didn't care. She loved Temari like this, taking her body the way she wanted.

She put a hand on her mouth when the friction on her G spot became too intense to stay quiet. Temari was marking her neck with biting and sucking. The familiar feeling of a rush of energy getting right into her as Temari was moving faster and faster. It felt so good. She was enjoying it so much, being at her lover's mercy.

Her back arched, her nails dug into Temari's arm and she came silently, biting her hand, looking at the love of her life who was groaning as she watched her lose her mind. Temari was still moving inside of her, gentler before getting out and teasing her clit. It made Sakura tense. The sensation was too good to feel nice.

"Please, Temari, I can't..." She pleaded quietly, trying to catch her breath.

Temari laughed against her lips before kissing her the most lovingly she ever had. The blond slid her tongue inside Sakura's mouth for a wet and eager kiss. Sakura knew they weren't even close to have finished.

"Not here, you pervert."

"You love me like this." Temari smile but pulled away from her lover.

Sakura got up and bent to pick her panties. And to let Temari checking her beautiful ass. She smiled lustfully. "Come on, let's go to bed."

"Is that an invitation to bed you, young lady?"

"Yes."

Temari smiled and followed her lover who took her hand, biting her lips in anticipation.

Once they were in their bedroom, Temari pushed her to make her fall on the mattress. "Seriously, I can't wait to be in May. After that, no more big belly in our way."

"No, we will have a daughter in our way."

"Hush. Let me fantasized about how I will never let you sleep ever again." Temari laid down next to Sakura and she sighed in contempt when the pink haired woman stroked her hair. Soon, Sakura was stripping her lovingly and slowly ad if she was the most important thing in the world. She always had been like this. As she was passionate, Sakura was gentle.

"Can I touch you, Temari?" Sakura asked, caressing her neck with her lips.

"Stop asking and do something." Temari loved when her lover was asking for her permission. She always told her not to do it anymore, but Sakura knew. She knew she needed that, be it just a look or words. Maybe one day, it will not be the case anymore.

Once she was naked, Sakura kissed and licked every inch of her skin, making sure to make her gasp and pant. The gentleness was making her mind blank. It was so good to feel Sakura's tongue on her inner thigh, avoiding to get to the point to fast. Sakura was a tease. She loved playing with her senses to make a mess of her.

It had been so hard lately to feel a thing. Pregnancy wasn't a dream at all. She didn't regret it but she couldn't wait to meet her baby and finally be able to go back to normal. No more morning sickness, no more big hurting boobs, no more big belly. And hello libido.

"You're not with me. Should I stop?"

"No."

"But you really, really seem to be somewhere else..." Sakura kissed her clit, making her shiver in need. "I really am not sure you want this." This time, it was a real lap and she gripped the sheet with force. "Yes, I think I should stop. What a shame." She licked it on more time and falsely got away when Temari grabbed her hair to make her stay put.

"Don't you dare. Lick me, now." Temari panted in need.

"Yes, ma'am." Sakura was more than happy to oblige and put back her mouth on her clit. She loved the grip on her hair. She was wet again.

She started circling it, sucking it gently, careful of Temari's reactions. When soft moans escaped the blond's lips, she went faster and harder. Temari's taste was nice in her mouth and she let her tongue go lower and lapping Temari's entrance. Slowly, she pressed the tip inside her and when the grip on her hair tightened, she pushed a little further before pulling out then in again.

"Sakura... Hnnn... God, yes... Yes..."

Her attention was on Temari's clit again, but this time harder. She was stroking her skin as gently as she was beautifully abusing the knot of nerve.

"Fuck, yes, yes... Saku... Fuuuuck... Hnnn, yeees..."

Temari came hard, moaning her lover's name over and over. She didn't have any energy left. Sakura crawled next to her and kissed her, making her taste her own flavour. She liked it, to be kissed like this right after.

Sakura pulled the blanket on them and took her in her arms. Temari felt so safe like this. Never in her life, someone had made her feel that way. She was so lucky. She really must have done something really, really good in her life to deserve this kind of love.

"Marry me, Sakura." She heard Sakura laughed. "I'm serious."

"Well, I will say yes the day you will be kneeling before me with a ring."

"You bet I will."

"Temari...

"Hm?"

"We forgot to eat." Sakura closed her eyes and placed a soft kiss on Temari's neck.

And like this, they just fell asleep.

*'*

Gaara was lying on his bed, his phone in his hand, trying to decide if it was a good idea or not. After all, things were so bad, he couldn't make it worse.

 _ **I'm sorry about today. I shouldn't have said things like this.**_

He sent the message and hide it under his pillow. It was stupid, but he was nervous.

 _I'm sorry too._

He smiled. Naruto answered him. Like he always did.

 _ **It was good to see you. I hope you are okay.**_

 _I am. And I hope you're feeling better. Sakura told me you were in hospital after Christmas._

 _ **I'm better now, thank you.**_

 _How are things at work?_

They texted for a little while when all of a sudden, Naruto didn't respond anymore. He was disappointed. But Naruto had someone now. He just answered because he was a nice person who didn't like to ignore others.

He almost threw his phone away. He hated this. He hated knowing he was with Sasuke. He hated imagining this guy had put his hands on his body. That he had the right to kiss him.

It should have been his right.

Fuck.

He just wanted to be with him. He just wanted to be able to eat Ramen and watch some stupid movies and looking at Naruto who was so into it, sticking a noodle on his cheek. He wanted to be able to touch him again, to kiss him, to make love to him.

He wanted to have the chance to say that he loved him.

Something grew in him. He wasn't going to stay like this, doing nothing.

He will not definitely lose him.

Not like this.

*'*

"Why are you smiling like that?" Sasuke's voice made him almost jump. He had almost forgotten he was here.

Shit. It was college all over again just because he had seen Gaara today. Since they had left Temari and Sakura's house, he wasn't able to not think about the redhead. Not that he had stopped thinking about him for four months. Fuck. He couldn't be like that. Not when he was with Sasuke.

"It's Sakura. She's talking about baby's stuff. She can't stop. She really is nesting."

He felt bad.

Really.

It fucking was college all over again.

"Okay. Do you want something to eat?"

"Ramen!"

"You can't eat that everyday."

"Yes, I can."

"You need to eat something else." Sasuke's tone was final.

Naruto pouted. With Gaara, they always ate Ramen when it was Ramen time. And it was always Ramen time.

Shit. This again.

His phone vibrated once more and he could see Sasuke waiting for his move. As much as he wanted to continue the conversation, he got up and went to his boyfriend to decide what they were going to eat.

Hoping he wasn't screwed.

*'*

The ride was silent. Kankuro was avoiding looking at Kiba. He was so nervous. He knew he had to do it, but it was scary as hell.

Kiba was getting really annoyed. The situation was too confusing. Why was it so difficult with Kankuro since a few weeks? Was it because he... His thought were interrupted by Kankuro opening the car door. He was so into his own world, Kiba hadn't noticed they were already at Kankuro's flat.

And Kankuro was still not looking at him.

Once they were in the flat, Kiba sighed and took his coat off and went straight to the bedroom. He was tired and he didn't know how to deal with Kankuro's mood tonight. He needed to calm his mind down and to think with a clear head.

When he heard the door of the room closing behind him, he faced Kankuro who was staring at the floor. His blood boiled. He really didn't understand shit.

He was about to say something when all of a sudden, Kankuro kissed him hard, pressing their body together. He cursed himself for responding to it, his hormones taking over everything else. It was always so good kissing the older man. It was the best thing in the world.

"Kiba..." Kankuro whispered against his mouth and with trembling hands, he started to unbuttoned his shirt. When he noticed the young man wasn't reacting he took one of his hands and put it on his chest. "Kiba, I..." He couldn't finish his sentence, it was too embarrassing and scary to put words to his thoughts.

"You...?" was all Kiba said, hypnotized by Kankuro's being. He was so beautiful and desirable, Kiba couldn't stop his hands from moving on him. He could feel how his heart was pounding.

The minute after, he was sitting on the bed, Kankuro looking seriously at him. Gaara's words came back into his mind.

 _Maybe he wants sex._

But it was impossible. Kankuro would never want it. His hands fell on each side of his body, but when the older man put his them back on his wonderful body, a part of him truly hoped Gaara was right. Four months without sex. Four fucking months. Two and a half since he and Kankuro had begun their kissy-touchy sessions without anything else. Two and a half months of cold showers and jerking off thinking about him. But he was strangely okay with that. He knew he was lucky of how things were going.

And the most important thing, he was happy like this. Knowing Kankuro was feeling this safe with him was thrilling. Seeing him laugh when he told him how gorgeous he was again and again, feelings his soft lips, hearing his moan, touching his skin, he loved it. He loved everything else too. The dates, the parties, the video games afternoon. He had never really dated someone before without ending having sex in the toilets or in the movie theater or any place he could have been. Never really without getting high or drunk. And dating Kankuro was much nicer than this. No. It wasn't even comparable.

"Kankuro, what do you want?" He asked, his hands stopping at the man's waist. He heard Kankuro muttered something, looking away. "Kankuro, look at me. What do you want?"

With his cheeks bright red, and looking a bit embarrassed, his boyfriend whispered :

"You."

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it!**

 **See ya!**


	14. Sweet memories

Chapter 14: Sweet memories

*'*

 _"Kankuro, what do you want?"_

 _"You."_

Kiba had pushed him on the mattress to lay him down on it. Kiba was kissing him senseless. He was dominating the older man in every way. He had Kankuro's writs pinned over his head with one of his hands, the other was scratching Kankuro's flesh, ready to devour him. He had lost control. But Kankuro didn't stop him, he was just trying to keep up with him, responding to each kiss like he always had.

Kiba could feel how hard his own cock was. When he swallowed another of Kankuro's whispers, he found the strength to hold back. Kiba moved his head away a little to be able to look at his boyfriend who still had his lips parted, asking for more. Damn, he wanted him so fucking much.

"Kankuro... If you don't tell me to stop now, I will not be able to stop." Kiba said with a raspy voice.

"I don't want you to stop."

"Really?"

"Yes." Kankuro laughed, but it felt a little forced, but Kiba couldn't hear the difference at the moment. He was too much occupied with ravishing his lips once more.

Kiba was kissing him hungrily and put away the last piece of clothes they had on themselves. Kankuro was even more beautiful than he thought. His cheeks were slightly red, his mouth opened as he was panting hard. His torso was perfect. His cock was so hard, it was already leaking precum. How many times he had dreamed of tasting it?

"Do you have any lube and condoms?" Kiba's voice was so full of needs, he wanted to eat him now, but he couldn't if Kankuro didn't have anything. As he never planned on things going like this, Kiba didn't carry any of these things since he was involved with Kankuro.

"Y-yes, in the nightstand" Kankuro showed him, swallowing hard. It was really happening. He was finally going to have sex with someone. Someone that cared about him. So why was it feeling so wrong?

He closed his eyes and tried to push those thoughts away. The nauseous feeling he had was just because he was a little stressed by this new situation. Like this, Kiba will never think of being with someone else. He will finally be satisfied. And who knows, maybe sex was going to feel good.

His entrails turned upside down. He gripped the sheets under him. He wanted to go away from this bed, from this room. But he had to stay. He had to. For Kiba.

"Kankuro..." Kiba' voice made him ease a little. The young man put him on his stomach and the vulnerability of this position made him want to cry. "It will be less painful like this. I want you to feel good. Tell me if you want it differently."

His hands creased the sheets as he just nodded negatively. Kiba knew what he was doing. It was going to be okay.

It was going to be okay.

He felt one of Kiba's fingers against his entrance. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, preparing himself for the pain and uneasiness that were going to happen. But it didn't hurt all, all thanks to the lube and Kiba's tenderness. Kiba's teeth were biting slightly this area in his lower back that made him go crazy last time and he relaxed instantly. When one of the fingers rubbed his prostate, he let out a small cry of surprise. When the young man done it again, a weird sensation spread into his body. It made his mind blank and he spread his legs a little more. He wanted to feel it again and he moved his hips to meet Kiba's fingers.

"Does it feel good?"

"Y-yes... Fuck, it's weird..." Kankuro mumbled, moving faster now. "Fuck, Kiba... Kiba..."

"Do you need something?"

Kankuro looked at him, not able to respond. He couldn't say that he wanted him. It was too embarrassing and scary. He moaned softly when Kiba's removed his fingers. He could hear the sound of a condom being open and put on Kiba's erection. He couldn't look at it. He was acting like a virgin. Well, he was one, but he didn't like to be like that. He wanted to be confident and charm Kiba to make him crazy, but now he was just trembling a little, wondering what was going to happen, even though he had a pretty good idea of it. Was it going to hurt?

"Kankuro..." Kiba was stroking his hair and he turned his head to face him,"can I make love to you?"

Kankuro blushed hard and nodded vigorously before hiding his face in the sheets. He was happy they were doing it in this position. He didn't want Kiba to see how embarrassed and clueless he was about all this.

When Kiba positioned himself behind him, he felt so vulnerable. He didn't know what to think about it, but he didn't want to give up to his fear. To the weird sensation that was screaming in his entire body.

It was going to be okay.

It was Kiba who was touching him.

When Kiba's erection pressed against his orifice, the weird sensation became much stronger. He didn't know if he wanted to go on anymore. It didn't feel right.

It didn't feel right at all.

The hands of Kiba on his waist, the feeling of his cock making his way through him, he felt nauseous. He closed his eyes hard. He could feel something opening in his mind. But it wasn't the time. He didn't want to remember it.

Not now.

He opened his eyes and he wasn't in a bed anymore. A closet? Panic seized him. The door opened, cries raised and he couldn't get out of there. He was trapped. He just wanted to mess with her a little, nothing more. He didn't want to look, but he was paralyzed. He didn't want to hear. The sound of the belt, of ripping clothes, it was too much.

He was in public bathroom now. Someone was touching him everywhere. But he didn't want to. He didn't want that.

It was terrifying.

It was disgusting.

It felt like he couldn't breath anymore.

"Kankuro?! What's wrong? Talk to me, please!"

He inhaled hard and he was once again in his room. His body was so tense it was a miracle his muscles didn't crack. He was biting his lips so hard he was bleeding and tears were falling on the sheets. He was tirelessly saying no. His body was trembling and he finally fell on the mattress.

Kiba was lost. Something was obviously really wrong and he was scared it was because of him. Seeing Kankuro like this broke his heart and made him angry. Why did he let his hormones overtook over him? He should have said no. Fuck, he was so angry at himself!

But it wasn't the right time to feel like this. He wanted Kankuro to calm down. He put a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder but he was immediately rejected. Kankuro's eyes were still closed, he was still saying no over and over again, there was blood in the corner of his mouth.

"Kankuro, open your eyes... Please, listen to me."

He saw the older man half-opening his eyes and Kiba cupped his cheek gently.

"Kiba? I'm... Sorry, I just can't... It's... I'm feeling sick, I-" Kankuro couldn't finish his sentence he got up quickly and ran to the toilets.

When nothing came, Kankuro just sat down and tried to catch his breath. After a few minutes, his breath was finally normal and he recalled Kiba was here. How was he going to face him? He didn't quite understand what happened. The memory that got back to his mind was atrocious. Why now? When he was almost losing the only person that made him feel good in his fucking life?

"Kankuro? Can I come in?"

How would Kiba want him now? It was impossible for him to be this intimate. As he didn't respond, his boyfriend opened the door and squatted down.

"You sure you want to stay in here? It's not very comfortable. Come back to bed, you need to rest."

Kiba got up and offered him a hand he finally took. He let Kiba bring him to the bed, put the blanket on him and took him in his arms.

Kiba was stroking him over the blanket, not knowing what to do.

"I'm so sorry..."

"Don't be. I went too far. You don't have to force yourself to make me happy. I don't care about sex, all I want is you to be okay and happy."

Kankuro moved closer to the young man and rest his head on his chest.

"Are you really okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"With what I give you? You need... You need s-sex and..."

"Wait a minute... Did you even want to do this, Kankuro?" Kiba asked angrily. Kankuro just hid under the blanket. "Oh my God... Kankuro, why? Why?!"

But he had no response at all. His boyfriend was trembling again. It wasn't the time for a fight or being angry.

How did Kankuro become like this? Why did he think he had to force himself into sex for him? Did he give him the impression he needed it that bad? How Kankuro became so afraid of sex? He knew now it wasn't a lack of desire at all. Kankuro was hard a few minutes ago and clearly enjoyed having Kiba playing with his prostate. Kankuro desired him two weeks ago when they kissed at the party and he heard how he was excited by his touch. Kankuro wanted him. He was sure of it.

So, why...?

"Kankuro, did... Did anyone ever...?" His heart was racing so fast, Kiba thought he was going to die. He was so stupid. He couldn't just ask things like that. Why did he have to open his mouth? Why wasn't he smart once in a while?

"No. Well, a guy tried, once. He had to go to the hospital after that."

It wasn't a pleasant memory. But when Kankuro had been pinned on a wall, hands in his pants, he had lost it. When he had snapped out of it, two of his friends were holding him back and the guy was in a pool of blood. It was at this moment he knew he had the chance of being a rich boy. The incident had been quickly dismissed and the whole story was over. It happened when his father couldn't get out of hospital anymore and everybody had thought it was because of it. The poor little son saddened by his the idea of his sick father. The one that couldn't even remember who he was every time he came to see him in his hospital room. He had just hoped he would just fucking die.

"You should sleep now." Kiba said softly, stroking his hair.

"Yeah... I'm sorry..."

"Don't ever be sorry about it. I swear I will punch you in the face in you say that fucking shit again."

Kankuro chuckled and sleep took him immediately after that.

Kiba didn't know what was on his boyfriend's mind, but they will talk about it tomorrow. He needed to understand why Kankuro forced himself like this. He couldn't stand seeing him that hurt. It was unbearable.

"I love you..." Kiba whispered in his ear and Kankuro groan slightly in his sleep, coming closer to Kiba.

The young man didn't have the strength to tell him out loud when he was awake yet, but he knew that soon he would not be able to keep it to himself.

He hoped that for now, it would keep his nightmare away.

*'*

When Kankuro woke up at 8 in the morning, he felt strangely good and determined. He knew what he had to do.

He had to see Temari.

He felt Kiba's moving against him. He smiled and stroke his hair. He really was beautiful when he was sleeping. He was peaceful. He leaned towards the young man and kissed his cheek. If he was fast enough, he will be home before he will wake up.

He knew that Kiba will want to talk about what happened. He always wanted to talk when things were getting out of hands. He always wanted him to be okay. Him to be happy. Why had he been so stupid? Kiba was only seeing him. The way he looked at him every time they were together. He could put a word on it. But not now.

Now he had something to do.

*'*

He pushed the ring bell, but he didn't hear any sound. All he could hear was his heart, beating so wildly in his chest, he had the impression he could see his thorax move.

What was he going to tell her? How much he regretted everything? How he should have protected her? That he was so sorry he will never let himself be completely happy?

When the door opened, he froze. He couldn't say a word to Sakura, who looked at him worriedly. She took his arm and gently, she brought him in the living room.

Temari wasn't there. Was he too early? After all, it was Sunday, she was pregnant. Of course she was still asleep. He felt so stupid. He always had been so stupid. He sat on the couch and took his head in his hands. What was he going to say? He had to find something. Anything.

"What's happening?" Temari's voice made him almost faint. He still didn't know what to say. He wasn't ready. He shouldn't be here. He should have stayed home and pretend that nothing happened. To forget.

He let out a small chuckle. He wanted to run away. Again. Like he always did.

"I don't know, he didn't say a word when I opened the door. He doesn't look well." Sakura's concerned could be heard in her voice.

"If Kiba did some shit, I'm going to fucking kill him. I'm not in the mood today. I want to smash something and if it has to be him, I will do it."

"He didn't do anything." Kankuro's voice was wobbly. His mouth was dry. He couldn't even look at her.

"So tell me. I hate seeing you like this. Speak to me." Temari sat next to him, a protective hand on his back circled slowly to calm him. When she saw it wasn't working, she told Sakura to leave them alone. The pink haired woman nodded and went upstairs, letting them in peace. "Kankuro... Please..."

When he finally looked at her, he just opened and closed his mouth. He wasn't able to say any words. His throat was so tight, swallowing was almost impossible. But the look, this look, this loving, tender, worried look.

"I'm so sorry. Temari, I'm so, so, sorry." He was just able to repeat it over and over again, trying not to cry, not to hyperventilate but his breathing was erratic.

"What are you talking about?" Temari frowned. He didn't make any sense.

"I'm so sorry... Please forgive me... I should have protected you, I'm so sorry..." He felt something wet on his fingers. Oh, he was crying now. Temari's face was all blurry. "I'm sorry I didn't have the strength back then..."

"What are you..."

"When Rasa did... When..." but he couldn't say anything else. His voice died when his mouth puked an ugly whine. His nails were so deeply dug in his rib, it should have hurt, but he didn't feel a thing. Nothing except sadness and self loathing. He should have protected her. But all he did was forgetting and behaving as if nothing happened.

Temari had frozen at the name. What was he talking about? Why did he... Fuck.

Fuck.

Why now? Why everything was blowing up now? Why did Gaara choose to make some shit now? Why did Kankuro need to apologize for something she was desperate to forget?

"You're an idiot." Her voice was deep and firm.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop. Stop saying that. I don't blame you. I never did."

Kankuro still didn't faced her and she had enough. She gripped his arm and pulled him into a hard hug. She was crushing him so hard, but he didn't care. It didn't hurt.

"I'm sorry..."

"Shut up."

"So sorry..." He could feel Temari's tears wetting his neck. He made her cry. He was the worst.

"You never know when to shut it, don't you?" She couldn't help but chuckled. They were both grown-ups, crying like children. But they needed it. She knew it. They had to definitively move on. "I forgive you. For everything you think you need to be forgiven."

He relaxed in her sister's arms. He felt tired and lighter. He could just fall asleep right there.

"I love you, Kankuro. I love you so much. Stop thinking it's your fault. It never was. You couldn't do a thing. And it's over now. Everything is over." She closed her eyes and let the final tear drop. "I'm fine. I'm happy, Kankuro. I have you. I have Gaara. I have the most wonderful woman by my side. I will soon have a beautiful baby. I'm happy. I love you. Stop torturing yourself."

They stayed like this a while, without thinking. Kankuro's tears were dry now. Temari still had her arms around him, protecting him. She always had. She had always taken everything in her hand. She always eased his mind. Always.

He felt so much calmer now. The weight he had felt for years was gone. He felt kind of free. Finally.

"I love you too, Temari. You're the best sister ever."

She chuckled and kissed his wet cheek and pulled him in another hug. She took his hand and put it on her belly.

"Do you feel it?"

"Yes! Temari, it's... It's wonderful! Hello little one, it's your uncle Kankuro! I love you! Little one did it again!"

They were like children, smiling and laughing like idiots.

"Babe, come here! The baby is kicking and you can feel it!"

A pink tornado joined them and soon, the three of them had their hands on Temari's shoulder, stars in their eyes.

"Everything is okay with Kiba?" Temari finally asked.

"Yeah... Well, I think I fucked things up..."

"Why?"

"I... Well, we... We tried to..." Kankuro mumbled, blushing.

"You finally became a grown up?" Temari's voice was a bit teasing.

"Temari, sex has nothing to do with being a grown-up." Sakura smacked her on the head softly and Temari stuck her tongue out.

"I couldn't. I... I really reacted badly. I wasn't ready at all."

"Did he stop?" Kankuro could sense that Temari had tensed up all of a sudden.

"Yes, right away. He put me to bed and hugged me until I fell asleep."

"Good. But you didn't fuck anything up. Take your time."

"But what if... What if he got tired of waiting? He's been quite busy lately and... And... What if he got tired of waiting?" Kankuro repeated, depressed.

"Then that's his loss. But I saw how he looks at you, Kankuro. He will not go anywhere soon." Sakura squeezed his hand and gave him a tender smile.

"You really think so?"

"Yes. I look at your sister the same way." Sakura reassured him and he believed her. If Kiba was looking at him like she did with Temari, he was one lucky guy.

"What are you guys doing here?" A sleepy Gaara was on the stairs. His eyes were half closed, his hair was spikier if it was possible and his pajamas was a mess. He never was a morning person. "Something is wrong, Kankuro?" Gaara didn't like the swollen eyes of his brother and he was going to run to him, but he remembered that there was people and that it was Kankuro. He wasn't going to go and hug him to make him feel better. He had a certain reputation.

"No, don't worry. Come here and give me a hug! You're so cute like this! I miss seeing you like this in the morning! My cute baby bro!"

"... I'm going back to bed."

"Nooooo! Come here!" Kankuro ran to him and Gaara tried to escape. But he never reached the top of the stairs, he was already in Kankuro's embrace.

Everything else was forgotten.

Life was so beautiful today.

*'*

He waved his arms to say goodbye before getting in his car. When he looked at himself in the rear-view mirror, he sighed. He looked like shit. His eyes were puffed up and he was pale. But the idiotic grin he had on his face made him look like a crazy person. He couldn't care less, though.

He grabbed his phone and his smile dropped. It was 11 am now and Kiba was very much awake. And very much pretty upset that he had left his flat without saying anything or leaving a note.

 _Where the fucking fuck are you Kankuro?! And don't you dare not answering me! Why didn't you wake me up?!_

 _ **I'm heading home. I'm sorry. I'm here in 15 minutes.**_

 _Yeah, I hope you will be._

When he arrived fifteen minutes later as he had said, an angry aura greeted him. He took off his coat and slowly walked towards Kiba who was sitting on his couch, hugging his legs. He gave Kankuro a dirty look. He really had pissed him off. Waking up all alone after what happened last night just broke something in Kiba. He had been so worried, anger was now the dominant emotion in him.

When Kankuro sat next to him, he moved away. He didn't want to be too close and the hurt in Kankuro's eyes didn't soft him at all.

"Kiba... I'm sorry, I thought I would be home before you woke up."

"Where the fuck were you?"

"At Temari's and Sakura's place."

"Why?"

Kankuro looked at his feet. Suddenly, the weight that he thought was gone came back hard in his heart. All of his attention was now on his fingers which were scratching his wrists. He didn't know what to say. Or how to say it.

"Has it to do anything with what happened last night?"

"Yes."

"What happened Kankuro?"

"I... Kiba, I just..." Fuck. His eyes were watering again. He had believed so much he was going to be okay now.

Kiba slid next to him and took his hand. "Please. You really scared me. Did I... Did I do something? Did I hurt you? Did I... Did I force you one way or the other?"

"No! No, not at all! You truly didn't! It's me... I said I was ready, but... It's still scares the shit out of me..."

"Why? Why do you think sex is scary?"

Kankuro didn't respond but his eyes were asking Kiba for a hug he was too willing to give.

"I'm sorry. If you don't want to tell me why, it's okay. I can wait. I don't care about sex. Really. A cold shower is actually very good to wake up, you know?"

Kankuro laughed against his neck. "Moron. I think... I know I will want it. I definitely want it. But... It will take time..." He closed his eyes and let the warmth of Kiba lulled him.

"Okay. We will move as slow as you want it to be." Kiba kissed his hair and stroke Kankuro's arm gently.

Maybe it was because he felt relaxed at the moment or because he had talked to his sister, but he wanted to tell Kiba what happened. He deserved it. They were in a relationship. If he didn't say anything to him, there was no point to this.

"My father was a monster." He began to say. "I'm glad he's dead. He was a fucking piece of shit. He hurt us so much... But I also remembered times where he wasn't like this. I remember times when he looked at me, he smiled. Then my mother died. And everything went to shit."

*'*

"Kankuro! Be nice. Sit here!" Temari said to him.

She took his arm and forced him to sit on the hard chair of the hospital. He didn't want to sit, though. He was going to have a baby brother, he wanted to see him. He was so sure he was going to be cute. He wanted to take him in his arms and to play with him.

"Dad, where is mom? Where is my little brother?"

"Be patient, Kankuro." The man smiled at him and ruffled his hair gently.

He and Temari rarely saw their dad. He was working so much, most of the time, it was just him, Temari and their mom. He loved all the time they spend together, but he missed his dad. He wanted him to be home more often, but every time he asked him to, his father always answered that he had to work hard so they didn't lack anything. Even on the weekends, Dad was away. He could tell Mom wasn't happy at all. Even when she smiled, she looked sad but she always smiled at he and Temari. She was always nice. But since she was pregnant, she had often been in hospital. It was difficult and she was hurt, Baki, their father's right hand, told them. He had taken care of them since then.

It wasn't the same. Baki wasn't mean, but not really kind neither. He was mostly boring. He always wanted them to do some work. Temari was in school, but Mom told him he didn't go until next year. He was happy. Like this, he was going to be able to have a lot of fun with his brother. He will give him food, show him the best spot to find bugs and strawberries. And as their were two boys, Temari will not boss him around anymore. He will have an advantage.

A doctor was now talking to Dad. He wasn't looking happy at all. His attitude was hard and he looked angry. He pushed the doctor away and opened the door of their mom's room. Kankuro got up, but Baki prevented him to go further.

This was the day his mother died.

This was the day Gaara was born.

*'*

"Dad... Why is Mom in there?" Kankuro asked, showing the casket where is Mom was lying in. She looked peaceful, just asleep. She was going to wake up soon and she will not understand why she was so many people around her.

Temari was holding his hands. Since Gaara's birth, she had never let go of his hands. "She will not wake up." She said to him, when the silence of their father became too heavy.

"Why?"

"Sometimes, people doesn't wake up."

"Why?"

Temari just squeezed his hands. She didn't seem to know neither. He had heard Baki saying this to her and now she was just saying the same thing. But he couldn't understand.

"I want Mom to wake up."

His father looked at him and it scared him. His eyes were empty. He looked tired and so old. He didn't look like his Dad anymore. It was the first time he had seen him since the day at the hospital. It had been 3 days ago. He wanted to be with him, but he couldn't find him. He wanted to hug him and to hear him say that Mom was going to wake up soon.

Kankuro reached for his hand.

His father pushed him away.

*'*

Their mom never woke up. After a few weeks, Kankuro had understood that she will never come back. He had cried a lot and every time, Temari was there, drying his tears as she was crying too. How many times did Baki find them asleep, him buried in Temari's arms after they didn't have any tears left?

But today, it was going to be okay. He was going to play with Gaara. He hadn't seen his brother a lot. A nanny was now taking care of him. But he wasn't okay with it at all. He was his big brother, he had to take care of his baby brother as Temari was taking care of him.

"Hello Gaara!"

But the baby was asleep and didn't respond. Kankuro poked his cheek, not happy for him staying silent.

"Gaara! It's me Kankuro! Wake up! We have to play! Gaara!"

The baby opened his eyes. It was a two big, beautiful green eyes. Kankuro found him so cute, he kissed his cheek and Gaara opened his mouth as if he was surprised. But a few seconds later, he was crying and Kankuro didn't know what to do. Did he do something? He just wanted to be with him!

"Kankuro! Don't bother your brother like this!" The nanny picked Gaara up and said something about him needing food.

He watched the woman going away and he was upset. Why can't he be with his baby brother? He wanted to be with him all the time. He wanted Temari and Gaara to be with him all the time. Like this, he wasn't going to be alone. And he will not cry anymore.

He followed the nanny into the kitchen and watched her make some weird milk. She tasted it multiple times before deciding it was ready. Gaara was still sobbing and she was rocking him slightly. It worked for a while, but soon, he was crying again, so loud Kankuro had to put his hands on his ears. Once she put the baby's bottle in Gaara's mouth, his baby brother stop every sounds just to happily drink it.

"Do you want to hold the bottle, Kankuro?" The woman asked him, smiling gently.

"Yes!"

The first time was a difficult task. He dropped the bottle often and Gaara cried and Temari came and said she wanted to do it again. She rarely came to see Gaara. She often looked at him strangely, but this day, her cheeks were a little red and a bright smile grew on her lips as she was feeding Gaara. Once their baby brother had fallen asleep, she kissed her forehead.

"You're cute, Gaara. I love you."

"Hey! I love him too! I love him more than you!"

"No you don't, stupid!"

"Temari, don't call your brother stupid!" The nanny said, shocked by her words.

"But he is!"

"No, I'm not!"

"You are!"

"You're mean!" Kankuro cried and ran away from her. She was such a terrible bully when she wanted to.

He hid under his blanket. He had switched off the light and when he heard someone opened his door, he secretly hoped he was his dad, coming to just speak and maybe, if he was lucky, hug him. He hadn't seen him since the time he had seen his mother in a weird bed.

"Kankuro, are you sulking?" Temari asked, sitting on his bed.

He didn't respond and just turned his back. He heard her chuckling and she hugged him tight from behind. "Next time we will play together with Gaara."

"... Okay."

They stayed like this for a while, starting to fall asleep.

"Do you know where Daddy is?"

"No."

*'*

Kankuro looked at Gaara who was walking clumsily in the garden. He had a jar with a cactus in his hands. Gaara loved cacti so he had given him all of his mother's ones. Gaara had smiled so happily, he knew he had made a good decision.

Gaara was running now and what had to happen, happened. He fell on the ground and the cactus thorn was sinking into his flesh. He started crying and Kankuro, as a good big brother he knew he was, run to him.

"It's going to be okay, Gaara. Come with me."

"Kanku, hurt... My hand..." Gaara was trying his best not to cry too much and Kankuro couldn't help but hug him and kiss his hair.

"I'm going to take care of you!"

"Kankuro? Waaah, what happened to Gaara?" Temari yelled, taking his baby brother from him. She was always like that. She always had to be the protective one, all the time.

"Tema, hurt..." Gaara was crying now and Temari patted his head.

"Don't worry, I will heal you!"

Kankuro pouted and follow them into the bathroom. Temari took Gaara's hand and put it under the water and Gaara yelled. Soon, the nanny was here and she looked horrified. "What happened?!"

"He fell and he had a cactus in his hand." Kankuro said.

"Don't put it under water like this! Just get out you two! Stop crying Gaara, just give me your hand. Out, now!"

Temari took Kankuro's hand and closed the door behind them. They sat on the floor, waiting for them to get out. They didn't hear Gaara cry anymore.

"Do you think he's okay?" Kankuro asked her, worried. He loved his baby brother so much. He was just 2 years old and he was so small and cute.

"Yes."

The door opened and Gaara was rubbing his eyes. He had a band-aid on his hand and his eyes were all puffed up. Kankuro just thought he was cuter than ever. And he wanted to hug him, but he didn't want to hurt him.

"Gaara is okay. But don't let him run with a cactus in his hands ever again. Cacti have thorns and it hurts a lot. But Gaara is a strong little boy and he didn't cry much." The woman smiled and stroked Gaara's hair.

Temari got up and Kankuro followed her and they hugged the red head that giggled a little.

"What about watching a movie, now?"

"I want to watch Mulan!" Temari smiled. She was so obsessed with this animated movie. She always said how much Mulan was beautiful and strong and how she wanted to be like her when she will be older.

"I want to watch The Ninja Turtle!" Kankuro whined. She always was the one who chose what they were watching.

"Mulan!"

"Ninja Turtle!"

"What about you, Gaara?" The nanny said to shut the two other siblings up. They were so impossible together.

"Mulan!" The boy smiled and Temari looked so proud.

"Yes! You're the best, Gaara!"

"But I wanted to watch the Ninja Turtles..."

"What about tomorrow?" Temari offered him and Kankuro felt so happy.

"Okay!"

Soon, the three of them were sitting on a couch in their room, under a blanket, the door wide open. Soon, Gaara fell asleep against Temari who kissed his cheek.

"Why are you always the one who has hugs."

"Shhh, you're noisy!"

Kankuro pouted and he heard his sister chuckled.

"Idiot! Come here!"

He got up and came to hug Temari. He was feeling so relaxed now, he could fall asleep like Gaara and Temari. But a shiver rushed into his body as he saw a shadow getting closer. He swallowed hard and tilted his head up to see who it was.

He didn't recognize the man right away. It had been so long since he saw him, he couldn't believe how old he was and how big and strong he looked.

Their father was at the door and when his stare came to Kankuro, the indifference he could see in his father's eyes hurt him in a way he couldn't describe. Then, fear spread in his heart when he saw how their Dad was looking at Gaara.

There was no indifference.

There was no love.

It was pure hate.

*'*

Many years had passed and nothing had really changed. Their father still didn't come back home since the last time Kankuro saw him and the void was a bit heavier each day. He couldn't forget the look their father had when looking at Gaara. And he didn't understand.

Gaara had grew up to be a cute, full of life child. He was 5 now, Kankuro 8 and Temari 10. But the redhead didn't go to school. Apparently, their father had asked for him to be home schooled and a lot of weird man and woman were parading in their house. Gaara would disappear for hours and he was always very tired and sad every time he was getting out of his study room. Every time, Kankuro was waiting for him to come out to play with him.

Temari had become more distant. She was older after all and she didn't want to be always with her annoying little brothers as she always said. But he noticed. He noticed the look on her face sometimes, when she was staring at Gaara.

He asked her once why.

"Dad said he killed Mom."

And since then, he noticed he was avoiding the little red haired boy too. But a part of him always wanted to wait for him to get out of the room to play with him.

One day, their dad came back home. He seemed a lot older and a weird smell came out of him. Baki was still on his side and he didn't even look at his children. He went directly to his room and they rarely see him.

But the atmosphere had changed.

It was heavy. And it scared him.

Temari was more and more cold with them, especially Gaara who couldn't understand why. He often looked at her with wet eyes and she always ignored him. How many times did he have to dry his tears?

But he could feel himself growing detached. Maybe it was the influence of his father and Temari. Maybe he was growing too, and he wanted to be a big boy, without having to watch over his brother. The brother that came the day his mother never came back.

Kankuro didn't remember when it started.

It was a cold night, or maybe his brain put the image like this. But his father was in their big, too big living room, a glass of vodka in one hand, in the dark, mumbling something. He didn't remember why he was awake. Maybe because he heard Gaara woke up, taking something he had kept a secret for a few days.

So he had followed him.

And everything became hell after that.

Gaara had given Rasa a cactus. One Kankuro once gave him, telling him it was their mom's. It was a very, very cute gesture. Every father would have taken it, hugged their sons and tell them how much he loved them and how he was sorry to have been so distant for so long.

But all he remembered was Gaara on the floor, crying, as Rasa had slapped him so hard he had fallen. The cactus was on his brother's body, the pot broken.

It felt like a nightmare when the heart was just pounding like crazy has some shadow were doing some crazy terrifying things. His father was the shadows and he was making some unbelievable things. He couldn't move. He was terrorized.

When his father came to him, he closed his eyes, thinking it was going to be his turn.

But Rasa just walked passed him.

He didn't even look at him.

*'*

Since this infamous day, Kankuro never played with Gaara again. He couldn't really remember why. He was just scared and felt sick every time he looked at him.

His father still ignored him. But for years, he tried to catch his attention with good grades, good behavior, good anything. It never worked. So bit by bit, everything went down. Bit by bit, he was getting angrier and angrier, he was always fighting at schools. His father never came in the principal office. Every time, it was Baki that was there and nothing happened.

But one day, the scary old man was finally here. Kankuro remembered how straight he was on his chair. He was so scared he was going to be yelled at or beaten. He hoped for it.

"You were never nothing less than a disappointment."

He was ten years old.

He never got into a fight before he was 22.

*'*

"Gosh, she's so annoying! She stole my Gameboy again!"

Kankuro was furious. Temari was a pain in the ass. He wanted to play Zelda and he couldn't because she decided she was the one who had to play first. But no, he wasn't going to step back. He always was too nice to her and she was always messing with him.

But now he was 12 and he was big enough to mess with her too. He went to her room and started to look for something to steal.

What about her favorite Teddy Bear? No, it would be too obvious. He wanted to be smarter than this. Something that one day she will need so much and that she will never find.

He went to her closet, opened it and started to search for something. A clothe maybe? He opened a drawer and grabbed something and he let out a little yell. He put it back right there and closed it immediately. It was one of Temari's bra. He wanted to mess with her not giving her the impression he was a perverted brother!

He looked inside another drawer and he was surprised to see a lot of tiny little present. It was all from Gaara. She was less cold with him, but Kankuro would have never bet she was keeping something like this.

She was a lot more tender that she wanted to let them see.

"Shit!" He hissed when he heard some noise coming towards his direction. He couldn't get out of the room. If she found him, she was going to yell at him and he didn't want that. He couldn't win anything against Temari.

The closet was big enough for him to hide for a moment. He just had to pray that she wasn't going to stay hours in her room like she was doing for quite a time now.

He closed the closet on him and curled up to be as small as possible.

What happened next, his brain made him forget for years.

He should have had a fight with Temari.

He would have lost, but it would have been better.

Better than that.

Rasa was there. Temari was crying.

Their moves were disgusting and Rasa was beating her at the same time.

Once he had finished, their father got up and let Temari cry, alone.

She stayed like this for hours.

He didn't remember how he got out.

Temari never knew he was there.

He didn't remember it either until one specific night, sixteen years later.

He always put his hands on his ears at night, without knowing why.

He didn't want to hear anything.

But he didn't know what he didn't want to hear.

*'*

After that, Kankuro knew he was different. He wasn't like the other boys. They were always talking about girls, their bodies, how a certain party of their anatomy was reacting at certain times and he just wanted to puke every time.

He never got erect. He never felt sexual attraction at all. He couldn't understand it. It was strange that people were so obsessed by it. He couldn't get it, but he was okay like this. He just had to lie and said that yeah, that specific girl with big boobs was hot. Even though he didn't quite understand what it really meant. Something in him told him it as disgusting.

He wasn't much at home, though. Rasa got sick not so long ago and most of the times, he was just in his room, working on something and soon, doctors were at home almost everyday.

He didn't feel anything about it. The bastard had been alive too long. But he had to be a good son and pretend to be affected by it, to take care of him even, sometimes. So he was always doing something. He was in every sport club he could, always hanging out with friends. He almost never saw Gaara again. They barely talked. It was the same with Temari. But now she was gone.

She didn't even say goodbye. One day, he just found her room empty and a note on the desk of his own room. To say she was moving with her girlfriend. Mei. The one that was making her cry every night, but the one she was always running to every goddamn time she said she wanted Temari back.

It made him angry. He still loved her even if they weren't close. She was his sister.

A few years later, he went to college and things changed for him. He was still living at home, more or less. He often hanged out with his friends, Deidara and Kisame and often stayed sleeping in their room. It was better than coming home and facing an angry Gaara who could barely say more than three words to him.

Sometimes he remembered how cute and full of life he was when he was a little boy. Now, he had so much in his mind, he never smiled nor seemed happy. He was just surviving in a world that was never kind to him. He was surviving in a home when he had been beaten so many times, his back was still hurting.

But Kankuro didn't want to think about it.

He wanted to forget.

*'*

Kissing someone was definitely strange.

Yûgao had soft lips. It wasn't unpleasant to move his lips against hers.

But it was weird.

And wet.

And he couldn't feel anything. No desire. He didn't even know if he really wanted to do it with her. What was wrong with him? Why wasn't he able to feel desire?

Why?

He broke the kiss and smiled gently at her.

"Come on, we're going to be late."

She took his hand and squeezed it a bit, smiling.

He liked her. Really.

But he really didn't feel anything special with her.

*'*

"What happened between you and Hidan?" Kisame asked his blond friend who was looking annoyed.

"He wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. I want to have a good time, not having blue balls, un." Deidara put the last piece on his piece of art and smiled. "And he's totally drooling over our economy teacher." He took a baseball bat and smashed the weird thing in front of him.

"The fuck, Dei? Why did you do that?!" Kisame yelled at his friend. "Kakuzu Taki, really?"

"Art is ephemeral, it has no purpose if it stays untouched,un" He simply explained. "Yeah, he had a kink for older men. Can't blame him, though, un. Taki is a fucking hotty even though he's old."

"You better clean it up. So, you still have blue balls, then?"

"Shut up!" Deidara smashed the last piece of his art. "Well, aren't you very quiet, Kankuro?"

The brunet was simply reading and didn't listen to them. At least, he had tried. He was feeling tense by the conversation and he wanted to calm himself. He didn't like those types of conversation at all.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked Deidara, not looking at him.

"What about that Yûgao chick you met all the time? Did you two fuck?"

His entrails twisted, but he falsely sighed in annoyance, "She is a friend."

"I saw you two kissed." Deidara retorted.

"Really? Kankuro, why don't you tell me when something interesting happened in your life?" Kisame asked.

"Because you two are annoying. Yes, she's my girlfriend, but I don't want to say anything else. Now, what about cleaning your mess, Deidara?" Kankuro tried to change the subject. He didn't want it to go on forever. He was starting to feel sick.

"He's right, Deidara, do it now!" Kisame handed the blond a broom.

"I don't want to. You do it!"

"You're the one that smashed everything!"

"You're the one that wants it to be cleaned up!"

Kankuro just laughed.

*'*

"Come on Kankuro! Come with us tonight!" Kisame was begging him and Kankuro thought for a second he was trying to look cute so he will say yes.

"It's been a while since I didn't come home. I have to pass."

"You don't like being at home."

"True. But I didn't see my brother in three months now."

"Come one, you're not Itachi, you can live without him."

The raven haired man that was sitting quietly on the bed, reading, lowered his book to look at Kisame, glaring at him. "You have something to say about Sasuke, perhaps?"

"No, of course not!" Kisame smiled and then turned to Kankuro, "you see what I mean."

Kankuro chuckled. It was true that Itachi had a weird brother complex, but Kankuro found it cute. There was a time when he was like this too. He wanted to be like this again, but there was so much between them.

"Kankuro, come with us! Oh Dei, you're back! Kankuro doesn't want to come with us!"

"He will. Or I will blow him up, un."

"You're so funny. Okay, okay, I will come, but I will not stay late!"

"You know you will."

Kankuro rolled his eyes.

He was now at the party, a beer in his hand and he had to admit he had a good time. He loved being surrounded by people. He felt so much energy like this. Currently, he was speaking to a weird but funny guy named Guy. He had weird clothing and hairstyle. He called himself the Jade panther and his boyfriend next to him seemed half awake and desperate every time he opened his mouth, but he also had the tenderest eyes when Gai took his hands, still talking passionately to Kankuro.

Something bothered him though. Uchiha Obito was staring at him since the beginning of the party and he didn't like it. It was a weird look. A look he didn't want to understand.

For years now, he learned to avoid situations he found strange. He never let someone approach him, except Yûgao. They had dated for a few weeks. Or rather, they kissed a few times, it was weird and really not something he was fond of, until one day, she told him she was asexual. He had given her a weird look and she had explained what it meant. They laughed as Kankuro had said after that he was certainly asexual too, as it matched with how it felt on the subject. They stayed in a good relationship, but they naturally grew distant and now, they were just saying hello when they bumped into each other in the college hall.

"Hey, Kanku- OOPS, sorry man, I didn't mean to do it!" Kisame apologized after he had dropped his glass on Kankuro.

Great. He was reeking alcohol now.

"Kisame... I'll be right back." Kankuro sighed as he headed to the restroom.

He took his shirt off and put some water on it. He liked Kisame but damn, the man was clumsy as fuck when he was drunk.

The door of the restroom opened and Obito was there and gave him the same look that made him uncomfortable. Did the guy have a problem with shirtless people? He didn't give him more attention and he was trying to dry his shirt with the hand dryer, hoping he will stink a little less.

And suddenly, he was pinned against the wall, his shirt had fallen on the floor and Obito was attacking his mouth without gentleness. His hands were on Kankuro's chest and he was scratching is flesh. Soon the guy opened his fly and touched his penis.

He saw red.

His mind went blank.

When he came back to his senses, his hands were full of blood, Kisame and Deidara were trying to hold him back and he was panting with so much rage, he couldn't believe what was happening to him.

Obito was on the floor's restroom, unconscious. Itachi were checking if he was okay and nodding when a paramedic said that he had to take him.

It had been years since he hadn't lost control like this.

All he felt was shame and disgust and he locked himself in the toilet and vomit all he had.

The next day, he was in the dean's office, waiting for the Dean to arrive. It had been a while since he had been there. Was he going to be expelled? Was his father going to be here, saying how much of a failure he was? But he was too sick now. He will not be able to say the words. But every time he looked at Kankuro, he was telling him he was.

When the dean was finally here, he sat on his chair and gave Kankuro a serious look. "We know you're not in a good place right now. With your father sick, it must be difficult for you. The Uchiha family will not press charges. They understand what is going on in your mind."

Or they couldn't give a flying fuck about Obito. He wasn't exactly the righteous child, assaulting sexually another person, specifically another man, in the restroom. And something told him it wasn't the first time he was doing it. Fucker.

"And because your father always had been good to us, there will be no mention of this in your file. But this can't happen again."

Kankuro wanted to puke again.

*'*

 _Come on Kankuro, it's been so long since the three of us spend some times together, you can't say no!_

 _ **Temari, dad is in hospital. It's serious. I have to be there.**_

The truth was he was not at ease with the idea of being with her and Gaara. It had been so long since the three of them had seen each other.

He sometimes texted Gaara to know how college was and he had even offered him help when he knew his brother wanted to move in the college dorm. Kankuro could get it. He was finally able to leave this terrible house and Gaara had taken the opportunity. He knew the redhead was going to say no. Maybe that's why he asked him. He was the good big brother whereas he just had an ungrateful baby brother.

And Temari... He didn't really had been in touch with her since she left a few years ago. She suddenly started talking to him, texting and calling a few months ago. He was suspicious at first. He was never truly at ease with her and he didn't truly remember why and she had been so cold for so long. But a part of him was also happy and wanting to reconnect with her. To just lean against her when things were too hard. Like when they were kids. When the three of them were just fine and happy.

He parked in the hospital's parking and stayed inside for a while. It wasn't the first time the hospital had called him to say his father had almost kicked the bucket. But he never truly did.

He walked into the hospital slowly and feeling empty.

"Mr Sabaku? Good evening. Please, follow me in my office."

Ah. Maybe this time, the bastard didn't make it after all.

*'*

"Kankuro! I'm here!" He felt Temari's arm putting him in a powerful embrace but he couldn't respond.

He didn't feel anything anymore. He wasn't even crying.

"Where is Gaara?" He finally managed to ask.

"He... He didn't want to come. It broke him. Don't worry, he's with his friend."

"He has a friend?" Kankuro smiled weakly. What a strange thing.

"Yeah. One that keeps him warm at night... Don't ask now. And stop trying to make me forget about you. Are you okay?"

He pulled away from her comforting embrace. He looked at her a few seconds. She didn't seem that sad. She just seemed concerned. And it irritated him. She had been away for years, just reappeared and she was concerned, now?

"Kankuro?"

"Why the fuck are you here?"

"Because you asked me to..."

"No. Where were you for the past three years? You never seemed to care. You just walked away and Gaara and I were just fucking dead to you. You didn't even call once. It was so much better being with your fucking girlfriend? To let me and Gaara live with him?"

He hoped to see anger, shame, regret, _hurt,_ but she was just calm and honorable. "I shouldn't have left. I know that. But I was eighteen. I was not with the right person. I was weak. I needed to get out of this house." She took his hand and squeezed it. "But I'm here now and I don't want to go anywhere. You're the most important person in my life, with Gaara. I will not make the same mistakes again."

And that was it. He felt something wet on his face and she took him again in his arm.

"It's okay, Kankuro. I will never leave."

"Don't ever disappear again. I will never forgive you if you do it again."

"I won't."

And she never did.

*'*

Gaara was looking through the car's window. It was a weird thing to see him dressed all in black. His eyes were red and the weird tattoo he had got seemed to be redder too. He hadn't said a word since he and Temari found him with his friend. The famous friend that was keeping him warm at night. He chuckled a little. He didn't know why he remembered Temari's word all of a sudden but he felt lighter.

Gaara just glared at him for making some noises and Kankuro thought he was cute like this. But he seemed so hurt, sad and tired, he didn't want to let him alone tonight. Temari was already home. She was really tired. She had taken care of everything. He didn't know how she was that strong. He wasn't like her. She deserved to get some rest.

"Gaara, what about you come to my flat tonight? Like this you will not be alone."

"No."

"I knew you were going to say yes."

"I didn't..."

"Yes, you did."

Gaara just sighed and closed his eyes. He was asleep almost right away and Kankuro smiled. He couldn't let Temari taking care of everything.

He put a hand on Gaara's head and played with his hair gently. He heard him growled in disapprobation and tried to push him in his sleep. He was adorable. How did he forget that?

Temari hadn't been the only one that left. He did too. He let a poor child live with one of the biggest monster the world ever knew.

But he will not let that happened anymore.

He woke him tenderly as they have arrived at Kankuro's flat and Gaara growled once more as he got out of the car and followed his brother sleepily, not saying a word. He couldn't help but hug Gaara tightly.

"Come on, let's go to sleep."

*'*

"Seriously, he said no again? Why?" Kankuro asked Temari, disappointed.

She was now sitting in his office. It was gossip time. They loved gossiping together.

"Well, he has a boyfriend now and he wants to spend some time with him."

"What? Gaara has what now? Oh my God, who?!"

"Naruto." Temari said with a mischievous smile.

"Whaaaaaat? Wait. It kind of makes sense actually."

"Yeah, now they really keep one another warm at night..." Temari laughed at the red Kankuro in front of her.

"Yeah, yeah. I will talk to Naruto. He needs to know he can't hurt my baby bro."

"Oh, I don't think he will. Seriously, they are so in love, it's almost disgusting to be in the same room. Hearts everywhere." She faked some puking, but the happiness on her face didn't fade.

"Well, whatever. I will make him understand."

"You really have a brother complex, huh?"

She kicked him at the back of his head and he yelped and gave her a sulky look.

"You're almost cute like this. Hey, I was wondering, are you okay? You're working a lot lately, do you take care of yourself enough?"

"Yes, don't worry."

"Well, I do. Sometimes, you forget that you're simply human and not Superman. Don't you dare catching anything."

"Yes, Mom."

"Moron."

*'*

"So, we're clear?"

"Yes, Kankuro, we are. I will never hurt your brother or you will kick me in the nuts so hard I will never be able to have children."

"Good. I like you! I'm so happy Gaara found someone! He's an adult now!" Kankuro said with stars in his eyes, looking at Gaara who just wanted to smack his head hard.

"Aha, he's so lucky to have such caring siblings!" Naruto laughed.

Kankuro just smiled slightly. He knew he wasn't the best brother in the world.

But he was going to make this sentence true.

*'*

He was still in Kiba's arm and he could hear Kiba sniffing. He knew the young man had cried many times as he had spoken. He had too. The weight on his chest truly felt lighter now. Maybe it was because he was in Kiba's arms and the warmth coming from his body made him more relaxed and he felt safe.

"I... Care a lot about you, Kankuro." Kankuro smiled in his arms and hugged Kiba tighter. "Hey, don't laugh, I'm serious." Kiba pouted and Kankuro chuckled and looked at Kiba. "I really hate it when you cry..."

"I thought you would be very happy to just take care of me."

"Well, I do. But I prefer taking care of you when you're happy."

"Lucky me... Thank you, Kiba."

"What for?"

"Listening to me."

"Don't say thank you for that. It's normal. You can talk to me when you want."

"Even at 3 am?"

"Well, if I'm in your bed, you can wake me up, yeah. Even when we're not together. I will answer if it's you."

"You're spoiling me."

"I'm your boyfriend and that's what boyfriends do. Asshole."

Kankuro put his hand on his cheek and stroke it with his thumb. He really was lucky to have someone like Kiba in his life. Happiness rushed through him and he captured Kiba's lips with his own. Kiba sighed in happiness, moving his lips sensually against Kankuro's but he quickly stopped.

"I thought you wanted to go slow." Kiba said, not sure about kissing like this with the mess that happened yesterday.

"Yes, slow. Not going backwards. I want to kiss you because I feel like it. It makes me feel good. Really, really good." Kankuro smiled and love the way Kiba swallowed when he said these words. "You don't want it?" He bit his lips and he knew what the answer would be.

"I always want it, asshole!" Kiba blushed, knowing that Kankuro was messing with him. "I always want to do that with you." He admitted, drawing Kankuro's lips with his finger.

"Good. Because I want to do that a whole lot." Kankuro kissed Kiba's fingertips.

"Stop talking and kiss me for real, old man."

"Hey, I'm not that-!" Kankuro was cut by Kiba's lips on his own.

Soon, the living room was full of sighs and muffled moans.

* * *

 **See you next week people :)**


	15. Happy family

Happy family

*'*

When Kiba woke up, it was 6 am and Kankuro was in his arms, sleeping peacefully. He was smiling a little and Kiba just thought how cute and handsome the older man was and how lucky he was to have him, so innocently crooking his head in Kiba's neck.

Kiba put his hand on Kankuro's back and stroke him gently. He wanted to slide it under the shirt, but he didn't know if he could yet. Or if he could just stay innocent doing this. What happened the week before was messed up and he didn't want it to happen like this ever again. But as fucked up as it was, it truly made him want to make Kankuro feel good and safe. The day they will have sex, Kankuro will be so ready for it, Kiba will make sure he was going to make him beg.

His hand brushed Kankuro's neck and he could feel how the man's skin was reacting. Kankuro hummed in appreciation and Kiba kissed his forehead. He could do this forever, but he had some things to do first. After all, it was Monday and he had some classes and appointments. Well, mostly appointments. And mails to read. Mails he had received Friday and he didn't have the strength to read. The idea was making him so sick, he needed to get up. Stress started to rush in him and he soon had the urge to be as away as Kankuro as possible. He was being ridiculous, he knew that, but he felt so uneasy. So much was happening now and he didn't know how to react to it.

He heard Kankuro groan as he pulled away and a part of him just wanted to wake him up and kiss him until the day was over. It would be so much easier like this. Easier than facing his parents, easier than reading some fucking mails, easier than fucking living in a world that was a fucking mystery to him.

He was now putting his clothes on and went to the living room. He had to drink and eat something. He couldn't read it with an empty stomach. Or he could. Maybe he should get home first. Yes, that was a good idea. After all, sleeping at Kankuro's wasn't what they had planned. But after everything Kankuro had told him, he didn't have the heart of leaving him alone. Not that he wanted to. He never wanted to leave when he was with the older man. He felt safe and good by his side. But it had been hard to be himself lately. Because of some fucking mails.

He took a piece of paper and wrote a message to Kankuro.

 _"I have to go home. Text me to let me know when we can see each other again. See, that's how people do when they leave when the other is still asleep. Asshole."_

Kankuro opened his eyes and he groaned. He was cold because Kiba wasn't here anymore and he just wanted to hug him right now.

The week they had spent together had been amazing. Every night, they were together, just talking and laughing about everything and nothing at the same time. Playing video games, going to the cinema, or restaurant or just doing nothing. And kissing. Damn, Kankuro never had been that eager before. He hadn't been able to restrain himself. The moment Kiba was next to him, his lips were looking for Kiba's and he even had pinned the younger man against the wall a few times.

He let out a small laugh, blushing like a teenager who had kissed his first crush. It had been nothing more than kisses. Yet. Since he had seen Temari and told everything to Kiba, he was feeling a lot better. He never thought he had so much inside of him before. He had been focusing on so many things the past few years and the last few months with Gaara, he thought he was more than happy and lucky. He never thought that lying to himself could have been so exhausting and so oppressive. With all this pressure off, his body was getting more and more aroused around Kiba. Always craving for a touch and the embarrassing sexual scenarios which had blossomed in his mind before all this were less and less hazy. He hadn't the strength to act on it yet, but it was more and more difficult to just stay innocent too. The glances Kiba was giving him now made his mouth dry and his breath erratic. Damn, it was starting to be too hot under this freaking blanket.

What was making the happiest was his baby brother. It was priceless to have an uncomfortable Gaara trying to hug him, – at least he thought he was trying to do something like that, obviously concerned about what happened. After a 10 minute hug, Gaara hit him on the head for being too clingy, but Kankuro was so happy he couldn't care less. The way Temari looked at him now, with pride and with so much love, he really couldn't be more blessed.

The sound of his front door closing made him jump out of bed. Kiba didn't dare, did he? But when he saw the note he knew that this little brat had dared to leave him without waking him up with a kiss. He was being too obsessed with kissing, maybe it wasn't healthy. Whatever, it wasn't the problem. Suddenly, he didn't feel that safe anymore. A weird feeling, the weird feeling that made him all crazy the week before was in his guts now. The one when he was thinking about Kiba seeing someone else or just hiding things from him. The one that made him forced himself into sex. The one that was making him feel sick and sad and angry.

He took a deep breath. He wasn't going to let that feeling won once again.

 _ **Next time, woke me up instead of leaving like a thief. The bed was cold without you.**_

A few hours later, when he had been at work for some time now, Kiba finally deigned to answer him.

 _Sorry, if I kissed you good bye, I would have not been able to leave you._

 _ **Well, I work, and am not a hormonal child, so I would have been able to make us both leave in time.**_

 _Sure you're not a hormonal child, sweetheart? It wasn't me who kept the other awoke last night, because all he wanted to do was kissing ;)_

What a...

 _ **Well, you didn't say no** **n** **either** **.** _

_I will never say no to you._

Some particular images appeared in Kankuro's mind. He had to remind himself he was still in his office and it wasn't the place to imagine how good Kiba could look without clothes, with flushed cheeks, moaning and begging for more caresses... Yes, it was totally not the place. And truly embarrassing thoughts.

 _ **When do you finish today?**_

 _3 pm. But Hana asked me to come home tonight._

This feeling again in his guts.

 _ **It's okay, I will come pick you up.**_

It was not going to win this time.

 _But, you're working today!_

 _ **Well, Gaara and Temari are there. They can do my work for today, it's not my busiest.**_

He didn't hear of Kiba before lunch time.

 _Okay, I will wait for you._

*'*

"What, you're taking your afternoon? You lazy ass! Look, I'm pregnant, I'm supposed to be at home, but I came anyway."

"No one asked you to."

"Gaara, you're supposed to be on my side!" Temari groaned. "Hey, don't ignore me!"

"Kankuro deserves his afternoon. And I'm not ignoring you, I'm working. Something you said you came for, remember?" Gaara wasn't looking at her, still studying the file he had in his hands.

"You're less and less cute..."

"Well, it's funny to see you two fight, or at least seeing Temari fighting, but I really have to go." Kankuro smiled and went towards Gaara's office door.

"Everything is fine with Kiba?" Temari asked.

"Yes, I'm taking my afternoon to be with him, didn't you understand?"

"Yes, I did, but... I can't help but worrying about you, since last time..." Temari whispered, a hand on her belly.

"Don't, I'm fine. I swear! Gaara even tried to hug me, how can't I be fine?" Kankuro laughed.

"I didn't try to hug you, you hugged me!" Gaara was blushing and hiding behind his file. Why Kankuro didn't just leave already?

"See, still cute and shy." Kankuro winked at Temari who winked back at him as Gaara threw a pencil at his older brother. "Okay, I'm leaving! And stop throwing pencils, it's not a thing to do. And I'm not Konohamaru! See you!" Kankuro said before closing the door behind him with a stupid smile.

"Do you know something? I think it's weird that Kankuro took his afternoon. He has never done that before. It always was work and family before anything else."

"I don't. And he's in love with Kiba, so for him, he's family."

"Whaaaaat? No, you think.? Well, it actually makes sense. Kankuro couldn't be with him if it wasn't the case. Gosh, it was easier when he was alone. I never had to worry about him." Her speech was interrupted by Gaara's phone who was vibrating. One. Two. Three times. Gaara looked at the texts and smile tenderly before regaining composure and Temari was sure trying to know who it was. "Well, someone is loved ~" Temari smiled and Gaara gave her an annoyed look. "Come on, who is it? Did you meet someone?" Her tone was mocking, yet she was eager to know.

"No."

"So, why don't you want me to see? Come on, let me see!"

"No."

"Give me your phone!" She tried to take it from Gaara's hand, but her brother avoided her grip without effort. "Please, Gaara, tell me! It's still buzzing, it's irritating!"

"It's Naruto."

He didn't hear Temari react and slowly, he looked at her. She had her eyes wide opened, not moving, obviously shocked. After a few seconds, Gaara pinched her to be sure she was still functioning.

"Hey, it hurts!"

"I thought you were not functioning anymore."

"I'm not a machine! Seriously, between Kankuro that thinks I'm sick and you thinking I'm a robot, I'm surrounded by idiots." She said, smacking his little brother head slightly. "So... You and Naruto are speaking again?"

"Yes." Gaara answered and said nothing else.

"And... You're just... Friends?"

"Yes. He has a boyfriend. You know, the guy you couldn't stop talking to at Sakura's birthday."

"What? You – ! Well, I did. He's still stupid though. Just not as much as I thought." Temari looked somewhere else, still feeling a bit guilty about it. "But... Are you okay with it, Gaara?"

He put his phone on his desk and think about this for a minute.

He had been so happy to talk to Naruto, he couldn't say that he wasn't okay. At first, when he sent the first message, he somehow wanted to have Naruto back. But soon, he knew it wouldn't be possible. Naruto seemed finally fine and happy and as much as he wanted Naruto to be with him, he knew he couldn't ask for too much. He was patient, he could wait. And if life would decide to never let them be together again, he still be here for him. Always.

It hurt though, when he knew Naruto stopped answering because he was with Sasuke. He was still in love, but just knowing Naruto didn't hate him and was willing to be his friend, something inside him just accepted it.

Their first exchanges were a bit weird, but quickly enough, their complicity came back naturally. They talked almost all day long, as much as their work allowed them to. Most of their talks were happening in the evening though, sometimes late at night. The nights where Naruto wasn't with his boyfriend. And his blond wasn't with Sasuke a lot. Or he was braver than Gaara thought and didn't care what Sasuke was thinking about this. On the weekend, it was still complicated. Naruto was still seeing his family a lot and he rarely sent anything on those days.

"Hey, I didn't ask for you to monologue in your mind, I asked for a loud monologue. Or a few words."

"I'm fine with it."

"Good." Temari smiled and stroked his hair. He didn't try to pull away and her smile became wider. "You seemed to be in a good mood for a few weeks. You even gain some muscles, I can see that you didn't quit sport with Kankuro."

"I tried. He harassed me until I said yes." Gaara said and Temari could see a bit of despair in his eyes and she laughed. "Don't laugh."

"Well, it's a funny picture. And you don't seem to be able to say no to Kankuro, lately. You love spending time with your big bro, aren't you?" Temari mocked and Gaara gave her his famous inexpressive look. "I love it. Being able to read you better." She added when she saw the confusion on his face. "You're cuter and cuter!" She laughed as she could swear he had rolled his eyes.

"I thought I was less and less cute."

"Depends on the day. So, what does Naruto say to you? What, you don't want to tell me? Seriously? Are you twelve? Come on, let me look!"

"No."

"Come on! I'm your sister!"

"No."

"I have your niece inside of me."

"No."

"Please? I swear, I will work without saying anything after that. I promise." Temari said very seriously.

Gaara didn't believe a word of it, but she was capable of asking for hours. And he truly needed her help. Even with Temari, it was going to be a long day and he was already tired. Any help was good, even from his annoying sister.

"Here. But after, work in silence."

"Yes, Gaara-sama." She answered, trying to stay serious but a smile bloomed on her face and Gaara decided that his file was a lot more interesting than his stupid sister.

 _Are you sure I can't kill my students? They are so stupid. And lazy. Worst than Shikamaru and I never thought it was possible._

 _How is your day? I hope better than mine. And sorry if I bother you, you told me this morning you were going to have a long day._

 _Is Temari still bothering you? Have a nice day, Gaara._

So they even talked in the morning. Temari chuckled. It was like this too when they were in college and before they get together. Always texting, like teenagers, every time they could. It was sweet. She definitely still was team Naruto and Gaara.

"Gaara..."

"You promised you will stop talking."

"Just one last thing. What did he mean by " _Is Temari still bothering you?_ " ? Helping you is a bother? You ungrateful brat! I can leave and go home if that's want you want, you –"

She was never going to shut up, he was sure of it, now.

*'*

Kankuro parked and looked at his watch. He was a bit early and he was thankful for that. He didn't know how to speak with Kiba. The young man was always the one doing this usually and talking never had been an easy thing in the family. Maybe if they did, things would have turned out differently. Better even. Gaara would never touch any shit, he would have been able to help Temari with their incestuous father, he would have protected Gaara, he...

He was losing himself. It was not the time. He was just venting about things that were now over. They were fine. He was panicking because he was scared Kiba had actually met someone else. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was just over thinking, maybe he...

He breathed in. He breathed out. He had to calm down.

He felt his heartbeat becoming less erratic but the second he saw Kiba, he swallowed hard and was almost ready to just start his car and run away. But he was an adult and he wasn't going to let his fears win. However, seeing him laughing with this stupid girl made him angry. Why was he so distant when obviously he didn't have any problem with anybody else. He gripped his wheel when a young man put a hand on Kiba's shoulder and made him laugh harder. Hello jealousy my old friend...

When Kiba finally saw him, he pointed a finger in his direction, the _tooclosetomyboyfriend_ guy blushed, and finally, Kiba waved at them before coming towards him. When he opened the car's door, he gave him a big smile and came closer to kiss him. At first, he didn't want to respond to it, but his body betrayed him and he slid his tongue into Kiba's mouth, dominating the kiss, making him moan and forget who he was.

"Hello to you too..." Kiba said once they pulled apart, an idiotic look on his face. "I want you to greet me like this all the time, now."

"Well, if you're nice, I will." Kankuro chuckled, starting the car.

"I'm always nice." Kiba replied, stroking Kankuro's face.

The trip was quiet, Kiba was dreamy, looking at Kankuro with a small smile before putting his hand on Kankuro's thigh which made the older guy tremble slightly. Now, he had totally forgot why he had taken his afternoon, his hormones were now fully awake and he had to control himself to not drive too fast to arrive quickly at his flat and throw the young man on his bed. His brain really was too focused on these things lately.

By the time they arrived at Kankuro's apartment, Kiba was hypnotized by his phone. Kankuro frowned and remembered why Kiba was here. He sat on his couch and sighed.

"So, what do you want to do?" Kiba asked, still having his phone in his hand.

"Talk."

Maybe he had said that too seriously, but Kiba seemed ill at ease at the word.

"About what?"

There was the tricky part. How was he supposed to talk about things? Running, playing video games and teasing people were a lot easier than talking about what was bothering him.

"So...?" Kiba started and quickly after, he was looking at his phone which made Kankuro more insecure that he thought he was. Who the hell had all his attention like that?

"Kiba, what the hell is going on?"

"What do you mean?" Kiba asked surprised.

"We didn't talk about it last week because I thought it was me, my jealousy and my weirdness or whatever, but... You've been really distant. I even started to think that..." Saying the words were harder than he thought.

"Think what?"

"That you were seeing someone else." Kankuro finally said after a few seconds, looking at his feet, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Are you fucking serious?" Kiba almost yelled, looking quite furious.

"Yes, I am fucking serious right now." Kankuro replied, not impressed at all. "What the fuck is on your phone that is so fucking important than you can't even fucking answer me anymore." The swearing was getting out of his mouth by itself. He was so angry and lost right now.

He was so scared.

"No! Fuck, Kankuro, I would never... I'm not seeing someone else! It's just..."

"It's just what?!"

"I... I'm waiting for some answers and tonight, I will see my parents and... I'm sorry, I'm stressed for a few weeks now."

"The answer of what?"

"I... I don't want to talk about it." Kiba was the one looking at his feet now.

"Why?" Kankuro wanted answers and he was going to get them.

"Because... Fuck... I..." Kiba stuttered and the coolness emanating from Kankuro didn't help. He felt trapped and stupid and vulnerable. He never wanted Kankuro to feel that way, even less for him to think he was seeing someone else. For fuck's sake he was in love with this old man!

But the words didn't want to go out of his throat and that was it. He felt tears in his eyes and he opened them so widely, he couldn't blink anymore. He didn't want to cry. He never cried. Not since his parents kicked him out. Not in front of Kankuro. He didn't want to make him feel that way. But the will of not disappointing him was stronger. So he didn't talk. He couldn't.

"Kiba... I'm sorry, I don't want you to cry, I... I just need to understand. I'm lost here ad I was... Really thinking you were getting tired of me not being able to give you sex and being uncomfortable with intimacy. Last week was... I never felt that happy and today I had this weird feeling again and I didn't want to let it go anymore. We saw how it went last time..." Kankuro laughed a little bitterly. When he saw that Kiba was still not able to speak, he took his hand and squeezed it. "Tell me, what is going on? Is it something bad?"

Kiba swallowed and a tear fell on his cheek, but Kankuro stopped it. He took a deep breathe, and let the other run down his cheeks.

"No. Well... I don't know. No? I'm just... I'm quitting college."

"Really? Why?"

"Because... It's stupid, I feel stupid, I don't even know if I can do it, I... I didn't want to disappoint you, I..."

"Why would you disappoint me?"

"You're gorgeous, smart, have a job you love, a great family and I'm just a fucking brat! Fuck!" Kiba dried his tears and moved away from Kankuro who followed him, so Kiba just turned his back at him. He couldn't face him.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're speaking about me seeing someone else but... You're the one who will go to someone else."

And Kankuro laughed. He laughed so loud that Kiba forgot he was scared and stressed. He was just upset now, to be laughed at like this. "Hey, don't fucking laugh!"

"I'm sorry but... Seriously, this is so stupid! Me, someone else? Kiba, before you, I never wanted someone! Ever! I had a so called girlfriend in college and it was so platonic that when she said she was asexual, I thought I was too! But you... What I feel about you is so different. Fuck Kiba, you're the only person I think about. This way. Because I still think about Temari and Gaara, a lot."

Now it was Kiba's turn to laugh. Kankuro and his love for his family. It really was something. And he said Itachi was the worst.

"Kiba, I don't care about romantic relationships. But I think, you... You are not anybody. I love being around you. Yes, you're a brat, but you're smart, funny and... You're the first person I ever... Ever felt attraction to. Like, this morning, I couldn't stop thinking about you and me in my bed, doing something else than just kissing."

Kiba was now blushing really hard. "Re–really?"

"Yes, really. So, why are you quitting college?"

"Because I... I want to do something else."

"Okay. What?"

"Well, I knew I always love animals, especially dogs and... Well, I... I have some appointments for... For vet schools and I'm waiting for some answers. I find 4 and for now, two responded. They wanted to meet me again."

"That's great!"

"Well, the problem is... They are not in town. It's on the other side of the country. The one that is here is... Very hard to have and... They have not respond yet. Well, Actually, they did, but I'm scared to open the mail. And..."

"And?"

"Well, it's some very expensive schools. I can't pay for it. My parents are not giving me money like that. I just have some money every month on my bank account. And it's pretty good, but... Not enough to pay it. My sister convinced them to see me to... Talk about it... And it's scaring the shit out of me. I don't want to leave town, but at the same time I really want it and... But I don't want to be away from you, what if... What if it means it's the end for us?" Shit, his eyes were watering again.

Kankuro hugged him so tight, Kiba had trouble to breathe, but it made him feel better.

"Well, it doesn't change anything to me. I still want to be with you, but... Do you want it? I mean, college and all is a time when you don't usually want to be trapped with an old man."

"You're not that old!"

"You're not a brat neither. Want to open the mail with me?"

"... Yes..."

Kankuro smiled and kissed his forehead before inviting him to look at his phone. Kiba took several minutes to finally click on it and he stopped breathing.

"Oh fuck..."

"You da best."

"Please don't you ever said that again." Kiba laughed.

"Well, you laughed, I will never stop." Kankuro smiled.

"I can't believe they want me... Oh my God Kankuro, they want me!" Kiba said louder and kissed Kankuro quickly on the lips. "Fuck, I'm so happy..." He breathed between two kisses. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry. But as you said to me, talk. I can't know what's going on in your head and... And I hate thinking that you could see someone else. And there was this guy all over you and..."

"What are you talking about?"

"The cute, tall guy that couldn't stop touching you..."

"Shira? Wow, you really are the jealous type, huh?" Kiba smiled, kissing Kankuro once again.

"Shut up, brat." Kankuro mumbled, kissing him back nonetheless.

"Never, old man." Kiba put his forehead on Kankuro's and breathed deeply. He kind of felt more relieved now. "I still have to talk to my parents, though. I don't know what to do if they don't want to help me. My fucking God, I will have to find a job!"

"Welcome to the world of normal people, sweetie!"

"I loved being rich and not having to work, like ever."

"Well, life is hard sometimes."

"You're so nice, my heart is beating faster."

"Brat. When do you see your parents, again?"

"... Tonight."

"Do you want to come here after?"

"I really can?"

"Idiot. Of course."

Kiba put his head in the crook of Kankuro's neck and sighed, relieved.

"I'm sorry, Kankuro. I really didn't want you to feel that way. I don't want to be with anyone else. I like you. A lot." Kiba kissed his neck and Kankuro could feel his skin reacting to the touch.

"I like you too. A lot." Kankuro smiled as he closed his eyes, Kiba still wandering his lips on his sensitive flesh.

"I love it when you're all jealous. As if I could look at somebody else. You're the only one that can make me feel this way." Kiba said, then bit softly Kankuro's neck.

"Tell Shira that." Kankuro groaned, tilting his head to give Kiba a better access. His back was starting to feel good too. Damn, it was getting hot now.

"He already knows... I can't shut up about you." Kiba kissed Kankuro's cheek, then nose and finally his lips. "But I don't want to talk about him. Tell me all about your sexual fantasies, old man."

"What? No, I... It's not like... Gosh Kiba, I can't say it!" Kankuro was blushing and lowered his gaze, not able to look at Kiba's lewd smile.

"Well, you said something about your bed. Should we go there?"

Kankuro nodded weakly, feeling very embarrassed, but he took Kiba's hand nonetheless when the young man offered him one.

"Kankuro, look at me." Kiba smiled once they were sitting on Kankuro's bed, with the older man staring at his feet. "Do you want it, Kankuro?"

"Yes." Kankuro's voice was weak, but firm.

"So, look at me." Kiba bit his lips at his blushing boyfriend. He was so desirable, blushing like this, not wanting to admit what he wanted. "Tell me now, what happens next?"

Kankuro looked outage at the question, but after opening and closing his mouth like a fish, he was finally able to speak. "We... We don't need so many clothes." Kankuro's mouth was dry and his voice raspy.

"Do you want me to take your clothes off or do you want to do it?"

Kankuro answered by putting a hand on Kiba' chest, touching Kiba's shirt with his fingertips before undoing the buttons. He could see glimpses of Kiba's skin and he swallowed hard. He slowly made the shirt drop on the floor and he put his hand on Kiba's chest. His skin was hot and smooth and he caressed it slightly and he could see Kiba's skin reacting. His nipples were hard and he could hear his boyfriend sight in contentment.

"Can I do the same for you?" Kiba asked him and he nodded.

Soon they were topless, shy hands discovering the other's body, making them shiver.

One of Kankuro's hand stop at Kiba's pants and looked at him. Kiba smiled and put Kankuro's fingers on the button of his jean, encouraging him. Kiba closed his eyes. He was so excited, he wanted the older man so much, it was hard to not take the lead and make love to him right now, especially with his hands working tenderly to put his pants down. When he finally opened them, he could tell that Kankuro was very pleased with what he was seeing.

"Can I take yours down too?" Kiba asked and smiled when Kankuro shake his head to say yes.

He put all his will to not be too fast and not scared Kankuro. It was going so well, he didn't want it to end because he was too hasty.

Once they were in their underwear, Kankuro invited him under the blanket, blushing harder and harder.

"What to you want me to do? Or do you want to do something to me?"

"No, I... I want you to bite my neck, like last time. And to touch, my back, here..." Kankuro put Kiba's hand in the area that made him see stars the last time they have been like this. "Yes, like that...' Kankuro moaned as Kiba sank his teeth in his flesh and dug his nails into his back.

Kiba hands were trembling. Kankuro was in his own world, moaning in his ears, begging for Kiba to bite him harder, to have more. Kiba stopped abusing Kankuro's neck and lowered his mouth, kissing his way to Kankuro's nipple and slowly, he stuck his tongue out and played with the flesh, hoping he wasn't to daring. But when Kankuro was resumed to moans, sighs and imploring, Kiba knew he was doing the right thing.

So he sucked, he lapped, he bit. All he wanted was to hear Kankuro to forget his own name, to be only sensations, to only feel Kiba's tongue and hands. The longer Kiba was abusing his nipple, the more Kankuro was aroused. His nails were still deeply dug into Kankuro's back.

"Kiba... Hnnnn... God..." Kankuro couldn't think or speak intelligently anymore. He could just feel the wonderful things Kiba was making him feel, the way Kiba was eating him up. All he wanted was Kiba to touch him more, to suck him everywhere. To teach him everything about intimacy.

When the young man abandoned his nipple to kiss his stomach with wet kisses and continuing his way to his underwear, to his hard, aching cock, he took Kiba's face in his hand and pulled him back to him.

"I can't... It's too much..."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking anymore, I..." Kiba withdrew his hands from Kankuro's body and hide his face in them, shyly. "I just want to taste you so much." His fingers let his eyes free and when he met Kankuro's eyes, there was no disgust in them. Or fear. Kankuro trusted him so much, he could have cried at this moment.

"Another time... I... I don't know how I feel about you... Well... Sucking me, I guess?" The words made Kankuro blushed hard, embarrassed to say these words. He had always hated when he heard someone say it and a part of him hoped he didn't disgust Kiba by saying it like this.

"Oh, you will feel really good, believe me." The shyness Kiba had felt a few seconds ago, wasn't there anymore. "The day you will want me on my knees to pleasure you, I will make sure you won't regret it." And then, he kissed Kankuro hard on the mouth, bringing their bodies closer, not too much to not scare the older man away.

Without even thinking, Kankuro closed the distance and he could feel Kiba's excitation and he blushed a little more. It was hot. It was bigger than he thought too. He swallowed and looked at Kiba's eyes and he saw how much the young man was excited, but mostly how much he cared about him. Kankuro put a hand on Kiba's waist and kissed him again, slowly.

"Tell me, what do you want me to do?" Kiba whispered in his ear and Kankuro gasped. This tone. This fucking sensual tone that was making his mind completely blank. "I will do whatever you want."

"Don't stop talking." The words came out so fast, Kiba chuckled. "Don't laugh."

"You're so cute, I can't help it." Kiba put one of his hands in Kankuro's back once again and Kankuro closed his eyes. "So, all I have to do is speak, huh?" Kiba asked and Kankuro nodded. He would almost be able to let Kiba do whatever he wanted to do to his body when he was speaking like that. "I want to touch you everywhere. I want to feel you completely naked against me." Kiba lowered his hand and played with Kankuro's boxer and when nothing but a whimper escaped Kankuro's lips, he slowly pulled it away, caressing his ass as he passed.

His hands were trembling now. Was he dreaming or Kankuro really was letting him do this? Or was it like last time? He frowned. "Kankuro, I need to know... Are you okay with this?"

He saw Kankuro opening his eyes. He was panting, his pupils were dilated, making his gaze much darker than usual and he smiled. "Yes, I am. Can't you see it?"

Kiba looked at Kankuro's erection which was leaking. Fuck, he wanted to taste him so much. "Fuck Kankuro, you're so fucking gorgeous." Kiba kissed him hard and let one of his hands wandering to Kankuro's cock. He took the member softly in his hand and stroked it gently.

Kankuro stopped breathing. He didn't know what he was feeling. It was weird to have someone touching him here, but at the same time, a part of him was aching for it. He needed Kiba to go faster and harder. Thoughtlessly, he rocked his hips and the friction made him yelp.

"Are you becoming impatient, Kankuro? Do you want me to touch you faster?" Kiba asked with his fucking voice and Kankuro could just nod.

He gripped Kiba's arm as the young man stroked him as he wanted. He was so hot now. He was feeling something coming, so overwhelming, he didn't know if he could take it.

Suddenly, he felt Kiba pushing him on his back. He gave him a questioning look and when Kiba spread his legs, he didn't know what to think about it. He wasn't ready for anything else than hands on him. He will not be able to have anything inside of him. He couldn't, not now.

As if Kiba understood his trouble, he stroked Kankuro's neck and whispered. "It's easier for me to touch you like this. I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to." Kiba leaned to him and kissed him. He was stroking him again, harder, faster and Kankuro moaned loudly into Kiba's mouth.

"Kiba, I..." Something was coming, Kankuro knew what it was, but he didn't want to dirty Kiba.

"Come, sweetheart. Don't hold it. Come for me..."

Kankuro gripped his sheets, arched his back and he exploded. It felt so amazing, he didn't realize he was screaming. Everything was white in his head and when he was finally able to release the tension in his body, he didn't have any strength left. He could only look at Kiba who clearly enjoyed what just happened.

He could feel something sticky on his belly and blushed when he realized it was his own semen, and reddened harder when he saw that most of it was in Kiba's hand and when Kiba licked it, he was scandalized.

"Don't do that!"

"Why? I said to you I wanted to taste you, so I do now. You know, one day you will come in my mouth and I will drink it all." Kiba said, licking his lips and loving how Kankuro was shocked by a little dirty talk.

"No, you... I can't do that to you, it's..." Kankuro was stuttering and he was so adorable.

"It's not dirty at all. But I will not do it if you don't want me to." Kiba reassured is boyfriend. "Do you have some tissues nearby?" He asked and he saw shaking his head negatively. Gosh, Kankuro really never touched himself, didn't he?

"There's some in the bathroom... I'm sorry, I should have tell you to.. To go away, I..." Kankuro was so unsure about the words to use, Kiba melted once again.

"Don't torture yourself. I don't care at all." He quickly captured Kankuro's lips again and got up to wash his hands. When he was back in Kankuro's bedroom, the older man seemed to be in another world. His mouth was still open, his legs were still spread and he had this satiated look on his face, Kiba remembered that he was still hard as hell.

What was he supposed to do? Go back in the bathroom and took a cold shower? Or go back in the bed and hoped that Kankuro will get that he wanted him to touch him? Or go back and sleep and forget his state? Or...

"Kiba? Why do you stay up like this?"

"I... I'm sorry, it's just..."

"Yes?"

"I want you." Kiba looked at his feet. Yeah, cold shower it will be.

"Come back here, you stupid brat."

Kiba slowly went to Kankuro's bed and was under the blanket in no time, in Kankuro's arms. The older man cupped his cheek and kiss his face everywhere. Then his hand slid on Kiba's back and stroked it gently, getting lower and lower, playing with the elastic of his boxer. Sometimes, the tips of his fingers touched directly Kiba's ass and the young man knew he was going to lose it.

"Kankuro... I'm very, very excited, if you don't stop, I will never be able to calm myself."

"Who said you have to calm yourself?"

Kiba tensed. What that was supposed to mean?

"I... I'm not confident enough to touch you, but... You can..."

"You... You want me to touch myself in front of you?" Kiba asked, loving the idea somehow. Who could have guessed that Kankuro Sabaku could be such a pervert? Kankuro mumbled something, looking so embarrassed, Kiba wanted to tease him a bit more. "What did you say?"

"Yes... Fuck, yes, I want you to show me how you touch yourself. And stop smiling, I hate you, you brat!"

"You don't. You like me. You like me so much, you fantasized about me touching myself in front of you and that's exactly what I'm going to do." Kiba dropped his underwear. He took his member in his hand and started to move his hand up and down, looking at Kankuro's directly in the eyes. "Kankuro... Fuck, it feels so good..." He moaned, licking his lips, panting, never closing his eyes. As much as he wanted it, seeing how Kankuro was hypnotized by his moves.

The nails that was scratching his flesh made him go on edge quickly. Kankuro wasn't as shy as he thought he would be. He was exploring every inch of his body, never too explicitly, but it was like he was amazed by Kiba's shapes.

When his fingers were on Kiba's thigh, hesitating to go closer to his member, Kiba moaned loudly.

"Please, Kankuro... Please..." Kiba pleaded. He was coming and he wanted to feel Kankuro's fingers wrapped around his cock.

Tentative fingers took place instead of his and he cried out. Immediately, Kankuro's mouth was on his, shutting his screams up.

Kiba didn't need more. He could feel his orgasm exploding in Kankuro's hand.

They kissed again and again. Kiba was feeling tired, but so happy. He couldn't believe they finally did it.

"Fuck Kankuro... Are you okay?" He asked, suddenly afraid he asked for too much.

"Yes. Stop asking." Kankuro said. "It was... Fuck Kiba, it was amazing... But I really need to wash my hand."

"That's why you need to have tissue close to your bed."

"Yes, I think you're right." He got up and ran to the bathroom.

When he was back next to Kiba, he was a bit nervous. He didn't know if he had been any good. After all, he never touched himself before, so he really didn't know what to do. He had just copied Kiba's movements. His lover was falling asleep, a big smile on his face. He needed to know though, even if he was making a fool of himself. "Kiba... Was it... Was I..."

"Yes, you were. It was amazing for me too. Touch me whenever you want. Ask me for anything. But now I want to sleep. So come here and sleep with me. Just sleep, I swear, I can't do anything now."

"Brat."

"Old man."

Kankuro laid on Kiba's chest and close his eyes. He never thought he would feel so free and happy after something like that. Not that he complained, but he had lived with this fear and disgust of sex for so long, it felt strange.

"Stop thinking. Sleep."

And Kankuro did.

*'*

"Fuck, I have to go!"

Kiba got up quickly and grab his clothes. He had completely overslept. He knew he had to be more careful, but a part of him just wanted to stay here, in this huge bed, with the warmth of Kankuro. The older man lazily opened his eyes and frowned.

"Why are you out of bed?"

"Because it's 6 pm. I had to be at my parent's house at 6:30. Gosh, I'm going to be late."

"Want me to drop you there?" Kankuro yawned, getting up too.

"Really?"

"No, I just offered to hear you say no."

"Gosh, you sound a lot like Gaara when you woke up."

"Am I as cute as him?" Kankuro laughed and put his clothes on.

"No. You're cuter. And hotter." Kiba came nearer Kankuro and kissed him passionately, making Kankuro dropped his clothes once more.

He kissed and bite Kankuro's neck and soon, he was on top of Kankuro, on the mattress, between his legs, starting to be hard. He rocked his hips a little and Kankuro moaned, but quickly stop it. "You have to go."

"Fuck, I don't want to. I want to stay here with you." Kiba murmured in Kankuro's neck.

"I know. But you will come back, remember? And who knows, maybe... Maybe we can do something like this again." Kankuro said, his cheek a bit pinker.

"Really? Fuck, how desperate did I sound?" Kiba chuckled a little and got up again to let Kankuro dress up.

"Ready?" Kankuro asked, once they had their coat on and he grabbed his car keys.

"No. But if I don't go, I will never do it."

Kankuro smiled and pecked him on the lips, before taking Kiba's hand to make their way out of his flat.

*'*

"Come on, you have to go."

"But kissing you is so much better..." Kiba captured Kankuro's lips again, but the older man quickly pulled them apart.

"Kiba."

"Okay, okay, I go. I call you when I leave, okay?"

"Sure you don't want me to come?"

"No, it's okay, you already have done enough." Kiba kissed him one more time and slowly, being more and more stressed the more he approached the house.

When he was in front of the door, he hadn't the strength to knock. His breath was crazy, he needed to calm down a little. It was going to be okay. His sister got his back now. Maybe his parents were not as fucking stupid as they once were. Maybe they had thought a little.

 _Kiba, where are you? You're late!_

 _ **I'm here, I just can't knock.** _

_Okay, I'm coming, don't worry._

A few seconds later, Hana opened the door and she invited him in before hugging him tightly. "Don't worry Kiba, it's going to be fine. They are really happy to see you!"

Kiba said nothing, but gave her a shy smile. He wasn't sure about it, but she seemed so confident, maybe his parents really had changed after all.

"Son, you're finally here!"

"Yeah, I am..."

"It's been a long time, too long." His mother said, smiling gently at him.

Okay, it was creepy. They seem happy and genuinely nice, it wasn't like them at all.

"So, Hana told us you have some news. We have some too, but come on, let's sit and talk about it."

Soon, the four of them were in the living room and Kiba felt out of place. It was too big, too fancy, at this moment, he wanted to be on Gaara's couch, laughing with him while they were talking about Kankuro. The thought of his boyfriend made him calmer. It was okay. After all this, he was going to go back to him and everything will be perfect.

"Go on Kiba, tell us what you have in mind."

"Well, I... I decide to stop college." He saw his parents frowned and he quickly added, "I want to go to vet school. I know it's what I want to do and the best school is in town and they said they wanted me. I can start next year."

"Really? That's fantastic!" His father said, proud. It was the first time Kiba saw pride in his eyes while looking at him.

"Yeah, but, it's expensive and..."

"Don't worry, we will pay for it!" His mother smiled and Kiba couldn't help but gave her one too.

It had been easy after all. Sometimes, talking was really the solution, right?

"But we have one condition."

Oh. It had been too good to be true.

"What condition?" Hana asked. She had a bad feeling about this.

"We found someone for you. We arranged everything for you two, it will be good for our company and you will finally have someone normal in your life."

"What the..."

"It's Hanabi Hyûga. The heir of the Hyûga Corporation."

"I thought it was Hinata."

"Not since she decided to make the wrong choices and date... Women." His mother almost spat the last words.

Kiba was cold. What the fuck was that?

"I can't." He had the strength to said after a while.

"Why? She's a very pretty and smart girl."

"Yeah, that's the problem. She's a girl. And I love men. And I have someone in my life."

The silence that followed the announce made him colder. Fuck, it had been too good to be true.

"We thought you had stopped with this nonsense."

"You will meet her. You will marry her and gave us some grand kids."

"No! I won't! Fuck, you're just... You're just the same fuckers! Did you know?" Kiba turned to his sister who looked horrified.

"No, Kiba, I swear, I didn't! I would never... You can't do that to him!" She yelled at her parents. But they didn't want to hear anything. They played her all along. Just to do that. Just to hurt her little brother a little more.

'I'm out of here." Kiba got up and he started to walk out of the room.

"If you leave, we will never take you back. You will be dead to us. We will not give you a penny for anything." His father said, and he was now expressionless. No. He was. He looked so disgusted, Kiba could feel some tears in his eyes.

He always had been a difficult child for his parents. He wanted to be free, to do what he wanted. He wanted to love who he wanted. But it wasn't possible. At least for his mother and father. A man should be with a woman, have children, shit like this. But he never wanted that. All he wanted was to be who he was.

He wanted to be with Kankuro.

"Okay." He simply said. He grabbed his stuff and in no time he was out of this miserable home.

"Kiba, please, wait!" Hana shouted, but he didn't want to hear anything. "Kiba!" She was in front of him now and she looked so sad.

"What do you want?" He asked and he couldn't even look at her.

"I swear, I didn't know. They really seemed so happy when I said we were talking again and that you were a very mature young man and that you seemed so happy. I never thought they were capable of that."

Kiba just shrugged and ran. He heard Hana screaming his name but he didn't care. He wanted to be far away from them.

It was starting to rain and it made him angry. He started running. He ran to Kankuro's flat and he was crying and so wet that he was sure he was going to catch a cold.

When he rang to Kankuro's door, water was running on his face and he didn't know if it was his tears or the rain.

"Kiba? But you didn't..." Kankuro stopped talking when he saw Kiba's face. "Come inside."

Kiba didn't speak, he just walked to the couch and fell on it. He was so empty right now. When Kankuro sat next to him and invited him to put his head on his knees, he did it. He just wanted to feel safe. He wanted to feel something good. That someone cared. And Kankuro always cared.

Kankuro started to stroke his hair and he closed his eyes. He was feeling so tired right now, he just wanted to fall asleep like this and forget. But it wasn't possible and he doubted that Kankuro would let him go like this.

"It didn't go well." He said after a while, when he felt calmer.

"What happened?"

Kiba was searching for the right words. But there wasn't any. "They wanted to arrange something between me and some girl. I reminded them I was gay. I told them that I date you." He smiled at the statement, sadly. "They didn't want to hear about it. They say they will not give me any money anymore if I didn't accept it and leave. You should have seen the look on my father's face. I never thought loving someone could be that disgusting to someone else. I've never been ashamed, you know? But tonight, for a second, I was."

Kankuro's heart skipped a bit. It was clearly a declaration but he couldn't say anything. He felt so much for Kiba but to put some words on it were too soon. But a strange and new happiness flew in his veins.

Kankuro didn't know what to say to Kiba. He had never thought about something like this. Lately, he had been so worried and occupied with his stupid jealousy and his trauma, he hadn't thought about that. He was now in a relationship with a man. Not really something strange but something a lot of people still had struggle to accept.

Temari never had a problem with her sexuality, despite everything that happened to her. She never shouted about it but never lied neither. Gaara was... Gaara. Before Naruto, he had never had anybody else. He wasn't shy about it either, but he was very private.

Hell, even all of his friends were gay! But he always had seen. The way some people looked at Temari and Sakura every time they kissed in public. He also remembered how many times Deidara and Itachi had been verbally assaulted. He remembered the day Deidara came back to the dorm, blood on his face and hands and how he never wanted to talk about it.

And now, he was with a man too. It meant he was going to have people spitting horrible things in his face and behind his back. Some people will do the same to Kiba. Hell, maybe the young man already had faced this kind of things more than once.

A strange fear tore his entrails. Was he ready for all this? Was it what he wanted? His hands on Kiba's head tensed a bit and the young man looked at him. And Kankuro knew. Of course it was. All he wanted was Kiba to be happy, to be full of life again. He wanted to protect him.

"Kankuro?" Kiba wasn't sure what to think about Kankuro's silence. Then it hit him. Shit. He had told him he loved him. "I'm sorry!"

Kankuro looked surprised. "About what? It's not your fault Kiba. I don't know what to say about what happen to you because I can't get how people could be like this. I never could. But you are fantastic. And I will help you. You can stay here for a while. Gaara doesn't live in his apartment anymore. We will find some solutions. Don't worry. There is people who are there for you no matter what."

Kiba smiled. Did Kankuro even heard him?

"But I think it means that you're going to have to find a job."

"... Fuck, life sucks." Kiba sighed. It wasn't something he wanted to do at all. "You know... My sister was on my side this time. And I feel like shit right now, but I'm strangely happy about it. It feels good to know... To know that she is with me, you know?"

"Yeah. I totally get that." Kankuro smiled. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Well, I think you perfectly know what." Kiba answered.

Kankuro laughed and leaned to kiss him. The kiss was salty because of Kiba's tears. He didn't like this taste. It wasn't a taste that should be on Kiba. "Everything's going to be okay." Kankuro whispered on Kiba's lips.

"I know. I have you, right?" Kiba's tone was almost shy and he blushed at his own words.

"Yes, you have me." Kankuro smiled and rest his forehead on Kiba's. "Do you want to go out and eat outside?"

"No. I prefer staying here with you. I love your cooking. Seriously, you should open your restaurant."

"Nah, too much work. I have nothing in my fridge, though."

"Well, let's order. Japanese sounds good to you?"

"Sure. But we will have no dessert."

"Well, this one have mochi. And I will be your dessert." Kiba said very seriously, staring at the menu.

"You're impossible."

"You love it, just say it. I chose, here." Kiba retorted, giving the menu to Kankuro.

"Yeah, you're right, I love it. And I will be happy to be your dessert." Kankuro said casually and took his phone to order and gave Kiba a playful smile as he phoned the restaurant.

Kiba felt lighter now. He still felt heavy, but just being here, like this, with Kankuro winking at him, just doing all he could to make him feel better, Kiba felt good.

He truly thought that being in love was the most beautiful thing in the world.

*'*

"I'm sorry, Gaara-san, somebody wants to see you." Konohamaru said looking at his feet.

"Who?" Gaara asked. He just had put his coat on.

"Rock Lee, from marketing."

Gaara frowned. He didn't who that was. "Let him in."

Konohamaru disappeared and a few seconds later, a weird looking guy entered Gaara's office. "Gaara-sama, I'm sorry to disturb you at the end of the day but I have to talk about something very important to you."

He had a weird haircut, weird eyes and he was too polite. He had a strange green outfit but it weirdly fit him. But strangely, he liked it. He liked the sound of his voice, how he bowed to show his respects.

God. Was he that lonely?

Damn, how talkative was the guy. He was talking and talking and Gaara could just nod and a part of him wanted to smile at it. It reminded him of Naruto.

"I'm sorry Gaara-sama, I got carried away, but I really need your thoughts on this."

Gaara rubbed his temples slightly. He was really tired. But he removed his coat and sat on his chair. "It's okay. Let's work on that."

"Thank you!" Lee smiled widely and went closely to Gaara.

It made him tense up a little. It had been a while since someone he didn't know was that close to him.

*'*

"Finally! Thank you, Gaara-sama!" Lee looked tired but happy and Gaara smiled a little.

"You're welcome. And drop the sama. I don't like it." Gaara said as he got up.

"O-okay." Lee stuttered and Gaara thought he saw him blush. "What about a beer! My treat, to thank you!"

Gaara looked at him, surprised. He still didn't know what to think about drinking and with someone who worked for him and that he met just a few hours ago.

"I-I'm not hitting on you! I just want to make it up to you, because of me, you finished late and you look very tired and – "

"Okay." Gaara said. He kind of liked how Lee was willing to be forgiven.

"Good!" Lee thumbed up.

The bar Lee chose was strangely calm and Gaara liked it. He wouldn't have been able to stay if it would have been crowded.

"What do you want?"

"Apple juice will be okay."

Lee gave him a weird look, but just nodded and went to the bar to order. When he came back, he still had a huge smile on his face.

"Here, for you. I'm still sorry, I took some of your time, maybe someone is waiting for you at home."

"Yes. It's okay, she can wait." Gaara answered, thinking of Temari. His phone vibrated at the same time.

 _Where are you? Sakura and I are waiting for you to dinner. Are you on your way home?_

 _ **I'm having a drink with Rock Lee from Marketing. We had to work on something. You two can eat without me**_

 _Is this a date? Did you forget to tell me that you met someone? You're drinking, now?_

 _ **No.**_

 _So, it's a date?_

 _ **Moron.** _

He could feel that Temari had responded, but he ignored it. He knew she was going to be a pain once he will be home. He wanted to have a night off. No Temari, no Sakura, no Kankuro. It reminded him that he wanted to see Kiba. He missed him a lot.

"Am I boring you?" Lee asked, laughing a bit embarrassed. "She is waiting for you and not happy?"

"No. And it was just my sister."

"You live with your sister?"

"Yes. It's complicated."

"Is it why you don't drink alcohol?"

Gaara stared at him a moment before sipping his apple juice. He wasn't comfortable enough to talk about it, especially with a stranger. That was working for him.

"Sorry, it wasn't my place to ask."

"It's okay."

"I wanted to say, you're a lot different than I thought. You're not as cold as people say! It was really interesting to work with you."

"It was for me too." Gaara didn't know how to react to compliments.

"But people were right when they say you didn't talk a lot." Lee laughed. "Oh, sorry. Yes?" Lee talked on his phone and he frowned. "Oh, okay, I'm on my way! I'm here in two minutes and if I'm not I will make 100 push ups!" He said with determination. Lee was really a strange man. "I'm sorry, Gaara, I have to go home, the babysitter has a problem and can't stay with my son. I can't leave him alone, he's only 3."

"No problem." So, Lee had a kid. Interesting.

"Good bye, Gaara. I will pay for you."

"Don't."

"I have to. Once again, I bothered you!" Lee finished his beer and put his green vest on. He seemed to hesitate a bit before saying, "here. My number. Call me or text me, if you want." Lee was blushing a little and with a last wave, he was out of the bar.

Gaara knew he was quite blind, but it was obvious Lee was interested. How weird. It was the first time since... Since Naruto. In fact, Naruto had been the only. What happened with Kiba was just for sex and it had lead to a wonderful friendship. Or maybe, Lee was just interested in sex?

Gaara felt weird. He didn't want that. He only wanted Naruto.

He finished his drink. He didn't want to think about it tonight. He went to the bar to pay when he remembered that Lee already had paid and it frustrated him. He could understand how Naruto felt.

Fifteen minutes later, he was at Temari and Sakura's house. And as he had thought, his sister was waiting for him, sitting on the couch, smiling as if it was Christmas again.

"Sooooo. You come home very late. You were drinking with a guy. I think you know what I need to know."

"Temari."

"Come on! Today I had "I talk to Naruto again" and after "I have a drink with a colleague." and I know Lee. He's a good guy!"

"He has a kid."

"Yeah, well, the girl isn't in the picture since a long time."

"I'm tired."

"Come on! Tell me everything."

"He talked a lot. His baby sitter called. He had to go. He gave me his number. I came home."

"And what do you want to do about it?"

"Nothing. He's my employee and I don't want anything now. I still think about Naruto."

"But Naruto isn't available."

Gaara gave her an angry look. He knew well enough that Sasuke was still with his blonde.

"Don't look at me like that. I want you to be happy. If it's with Naruto, it's good, but maybe... Maybe moving on will be a good thing."

Gaara said nothing and Temari sighed. She didn't like it. It reminded her how it was a few months ago. Now he was talking a bit more. She understood him more. And seeing him all silent, it wasn't a good thing.

"I'm sorry. Here, let's eat. It's still in the pan, we just need to reheat it up a little."

"I told you to eat without me."

"Well, I ate a bit with Sakura but she had to go to bed early, she's working early tomorrow. I wanted to eat with you too."

Gaara said nothing and put on the table.

They ate in silence until Temari tried to light things up. "So, what about you stop sulking right now? You're cute like this, but I prefer when you talk to me."

"I have nothing to say."

And he went to his room.

*'*

Gaara sighed. He was tired but he couldn't sleep and it was making him angry. Naruto didn't answer him and it upset him even more and he knew he couldn't. But Temari's words just hurt. Because he knew. He knew she wasn't wrong.

He looked at his phone, hoping to receive a text but nothing come. He threw it on the mattress and started to put his clothes off. A piece of paper fell and he picked it up. It was Lee's phone.

Should he do something? After all, it was an impasse with Naruto now. Maybe just talking to someone else will do him good. And Lee was cute. And really gentle.

 _ **I hope everything went well with your son.**_

A few minutes later, Lee had answered.

 _Gaara, is that you? If it is, yes, thank you. I'm still sorry about leaving so soon. Did you come home safely?_

Gaara felt a bit stupid. He was so not in his comfort zone, he had forgotten to say it was him. But Lee didn't seem to care. He quickly sent him a text and Lee responded quickly back.

He didn't know for how long they speak, but it was nice. Lee was a single father, his girlfriend one day was nowhere to be found and had left him with his baby. He was a very loving father, he couldn't shut up about Metal. A weird name but Lee was weird and Gaara liked it. It was refreshing.

Maybe Temari was right.

Maybe it was time to move on.

* * *

 **Hope you all liked it :)**


	16. Friendly encounter

Friendly encounter

*'*

"Kankuro, I have to get up, I got to see your brother." Kiba smiled when two arms prevented him getting out of the bed and kisses brushed against his neck. He was sitting naked on Kankuro's bed, the older man pressing his chest on Kiba's back.

"Well, he can wait a little, right?" Kankuro was now kissing his shoulder and his hands were on Kiba's stomach.

"I got to buy some things first. Kankuro..." Kiba moaned when fingers stroked his inner thighs, spreading his leg for a better access. "Fuck..."

"I think we need to take care of something before you get up." Kankuro said playfully as he felt Kiba's cock getting hard under his caress.

"I think I created a monster..." Kiba whispered and kissed Kankuro as roughly as he could given their position.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks where every time they saw each other, they couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Kankuro was more confident now, even though he was somehow still shy about certain things. He still wasn't sure about Kiba sucking him off and his ass was a sensible subject.

Kiba moaned when Kankuro's took his erection and stroked it slowly, teasing him with a lewd smile.

"Sometimes I miss how shy you were..."

"Really? Want to role play sometimes? Me as the clueless virgin and you as the sexy mentor who will teach me everything?" Kankuro whispered in his ear before licking his lobe.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's not role play. I have so much to show you. So many things to teach you..." Kiba turned over to pin Kankuro on his mattress, between his legs.

"So show me." Kankuro sighed, spreading his legs wider.

Fuck. How did things become like this? How Kiba had been so lucky? To have the most handsome and sexiest man he ever saw, willing to let him discover his body? Sometimes, Kiba had the impression he didn't deserve him. After everything Kankuro had been through, he didn't want to dirty him. Kiba never had a healthy relationship with sex. It was with stranger, high, drunk, sometimes unprotected. How many times did he have to do tests to be sure he didn't catch anything? He always had been lucky. So fucking lucky for bad reasons. He didn't deserve someone like Kankuro.

"Kiba?"

"Kankuro, you're so fucking perfect... I don't deserve you."

"That shit again? God. I'm not perfect. You're not neither and I don't care. And I also have to say, it's not a conversation I want to have when I want my boyfriend to fucking touch me."

"So, you're the bossy type today, huh?" Kiba laughed and kissed Kankuro's neck, the hyper sensible area that was always making the older man ache for more.

"Kiba, please..." Kankuro moaned, pure pleasure going straight in his back and cock. He was trying everything to have Kiba's hands and mouth all over him.

"The begging card? Fuck, you know how to manipulate me, old man." Kiba leaned towards Kankuro's mouth and bit it making Kankuro yelp in surprise. "So, you want to learn some new things? Are you sure you ready for this?"

Kankuro nodded and Kiba's mouth went to his nipples, licking it. "Okay. I must apologize then. I will not be able to talk. My mouth will be too full for that. Is that okay with you?"

"Y-yes." Kankuro's cheeks were pink. He had thought a lot about it. Kiba sucking him or the other way around. At first, the idea felt too strange and too intimate but after two weeks of more and more powerful orgasms and discovery of his own body, the thought was more and more powerful in his mind. After all, Kiba was really talented with his mouth. And he knew Kiba would stop if he told him to. He will always respect it. And knowing that made Kankuro always very aroused and even more willing to let him to whatever he wanted with his body.

Now Kiba was kissing and licking every part of his stomach's skin. He loved watching him like this, but he couldn't help but close his eyes when Kiba bit slowly his skin. He loved it so fucking much. Kiba's pointy canine always did wonder on his skin. He never thought he would have a kink about being bitten, but damn, he will never want Kiba to stop.

He moaned loudly when he felt Kiba's tongue licking around his cock but never really touching it. One of Kiba's hands was pinching his nipples. "Fuck... Hnnn..." He wasn't as embarrassed as he could have been about his noises. He couldn't help it and he knew Kiba loved it. He could feel his hands tensed every time he moaned, his smile on his lips and his breath becoming erratic.

He arched his back when Kiba took his erection in his hand and slowly started to stroke it. It felt like heaven. Kiba made him discover a whole world of sensations and emotions. And he wanted more.

He fisted his hands when Kiba's tongue licked his cock, almost worshiping it. He could feel his own member throbbing. He wanted Kiba's mouth around him.

"Kiba... Please..."

"Please what?" Kiba asked before lapping the erect member once again.

"Kiba..." Kankuro felt embarrassed now and Kiba just chuckled, still playing with his cock, making his lover shiver.

"If you don't say it, I can't know what you want." Kiba was exulting. He loved making Kankuro like this. He loved when he tried to get Kankuro talking dirty. He was still shy after all and that was a part he wanted Kankuro to always have.

"Kiba, please... Suck me." Kankuro finally said, a bit frustrated and embarrassed.

Kiba smiled and kissed Kankuro's dick one more time before putting it in all the way in his mouth.

Fuck, he loved it. He loved the feel down his throat, the taste of Kankuro's precum, hearing his boyfriend going crazy. He took him as far as he could before getting up slowly and teasing the tip of the cock. Fuck, it was better than his fantasies. A lot more. He wanted to take his time to enjoy it, but when he felt Kankuro's hand on his head, stroking it gently to encourage him, he snapped.

He sucked harder and faster and Kankuro was just moaning and crying out. He was pulling Kiba's hair, not knowing it, too far gone and Kiba moaned with pleasure around Kankuro's cock, which was so hard, he knew he was close. He took Kankuro's farther into his mouth and the hand in his hair was almost hurtful.

"Kiba, I'm going to – Aaaaah!" Kankuro screamed as he emptied himself in Kiba's throat. He was panting hard and sweating. When he realized he didn't get off Kiba's mouth, he hid his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, it... It just came out... Fuck Kiba, I'm too sensitive right now!" Kankuro said, trying to push Kiba away of his sensitive member.

Kiba let out Kankuro's cock out of his mouth as he swallowed the last drop of cum. "As I thought, you taste good. Hey, what the hell?" Kiba yelled when Kankuro threw a pillow at him.

"Stop saying stupid things like that!"

"Yeah, you're still shy. I love it." Kiba chuckled and went forward Kankuro to kiss him.

Kankuro responded to the kiss with eagerness. He could feel how hard Kiba was and he took him in his hand. "Do you want me to help you?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Kiba replied, thrusting into Kankuro's hand.

The deep chuckle he heard in his ear got him more excited. He knew he wasn't going to last long, especially after sucking Kankuro off.

He closed his eyes and pictures of the older man on his knees came instantly in his mind. Kankuro taking him in his mouth, made his whole body hotter. One of his hands will go to stroke his ass and will start to play with his hole before pushing a finger in gently, to work on his prostate, deep throating him and drinking his cum.

He opened his eyes and he met Kankuro's who was panting and licking his lips. Kankuro smiled and leaned his head towards Kiba, licking his lips, stroking him faster.

"I love touching you so much..." Kiba heard Kankuro whisper on his lips before kissing him wetly.

And that was it. He came all over Kankuro's finger with a long hiss.

He let Kankuro spoon him, once the older man had finished cleaning them up. Kankuro was such a cuddler. Kiba never had sex with someone that was willing to be that gentle with him after they were done. They all wanted to leave fast or he wanted to leave. Sex with feelings was a first and Kiba knew he couldn't go back to his old ways. Everything was amazing. Sex, of course, but most importantly, he felt safe. He felt truly happy. And he will never want to let go of something like this.

"Kankuro... I still have to go..."

He heard a groan coming from Kankuro's throat. "Don't want you to go."

"Don't play the cute card on me. You know I will come back." As he had done for the last two weeks. "But I need to find an apartment. And I also want to see your brother. I promise I will take some photos of he does something embarrassing. Or cute. Or just if he breathes."

"Hmm... Okay, I let you go. Don't forget the photos though."

"I won't. What reward will I have if I do it?" Kiba asked with a lewd smile.

"You're insatiable. But if you're good, I will wait for you entirely naked, all hot and bothered for you, just hoping you will teach me something new." Kankuro answered, and then he took Kiba's hand and licked one of his fingers before sucking on it, taking it all the way in his mouth.

Kankuro didn't know where this boldness was coming from, but the way Kiba was looking at him, he knew he had done something good.

"... I really created a monster..."

Kankuro just laughed and let his lover go.

*'*

Kiba had stopped in the first supermarket there was on the road. He really should try to have his license and buy a car. It would be a lot more easier.

He took his phone and dialed Gaara's number. He was truly late, he was sure his friend wasn't going to be happy about it.

" _Yes?"_

"Yeah, Gaara, it's me! I just wanted to apologize, I will be late, your brother was impossible, he wouldn't let me out of the bed and..."

" _I don't need to know that."_

"Come on, don't be shy! I have to buy some things, though. Still don't want to drink some beers with me?"

" _I don't know. I... It's been a long time."_

"Hey, you know what, just think about it for a while and call me back, okay?"

" _Okay."_

They hung up and Kiba wandered into the alley. He didn't pay attention at was he was looking until his eyes caught some lube and condoms. He stopped and think for a moment. They will need it in the future. At least lube. He was thinking more and more about him and Kankuro making a test to be 100% sure everything was fine. He knew everything was fine on his part and Kankuro was a virgin, but for peace of mind and to do things right.

With Kankuro, he wanted everything to be right.

He took the condoms and the lube and at this precise moment, Gaara called him back. He put back the items and picked up.

"So tell me?"

" _I don't feel at ease with the idea. So no."_

"Okay, so, what do you want?"

" _Anything but apple juice. I swear I will vomit it."_

"In a way, I want to see that just to laugh at you. Anyway, I'm grabbing what we need and I'm coming over. Bye Gaara."

" _Bye Kiba."_

He put his phone in his pocket and grab the condoms and the lube and he heard something falling on the floor. He looked at his feet, but he didn't make anything fall. He frowned and look up and he recognize the person that faced him.

Of fucking course.

*'*

Naruto was humming with happiness as he grabbed some items. Sasuke was coming over and he wanted to cook for Naruto. And not Ramen, because he was a jerk. But he liked him anyway.

He decided to just ignore the empty feeling he had when he was with Sasuke. Some stories needed time. It couldn't be all passionate directly sometimes, not like it had been with Gaara. He was going to take his time with Sasuke and see where things were going. That's why he had invited Sasuke over. It wasn't easy to see each other, but for once he had his weekend free and he was more than happy to see him.

It rarely happened when he was with Gaara. And the only time the red head had come to his flat, he had lied to him and then crushed his heart. Fuck, and now he was thinking about Gaara. Again. Maybe talking to him almost daily wasn't such a good idea. But he liked it. Just to know he was okay. He had been so happy when Gaara had told him he was going to work again. Naruto could see how he had grown and how he was trying to get better. It was almost cute how serious he was about this.

Really cute.

"In a way, I want to see that just to laugh at you. Anyway, I'm grabbing what we need and I'm coming over. Bye Gaara."

Naruto's heart skipped a beat. Gaara? It was an usual name. And he recognized this voice. And he didn't like this voice at all.

Of course.

It was Kiba.

With condoms and lube in his hands.

Without noticing, he had dropped everything in had in his hands. His mind was blank and he had jumped on Kiba, his body reacting without his consent. He came back to his mind when a punch greeted his face and he could feel blood in his mouth.

"What the fuck?!" Kiba yelled. He, too, had a bloody mouth. "What the fuck is your fucking problem?!"

Naruto didn't answer. He didn't know what to say. The thought of this guy fucking Gaara was sickening him so deeply. And fuck, Gaara even answer his calls. How fucking in love was the red head with this piece of shit?

"You fucking bastard!"

"Seriously, you have a fucking problem." Kiba growled and he suddenly remembered what he had in his hands and he laughed almost cruelly. "You fucker. He can fuck who he fucking wants."

"Not a bastard like you." Naruto said he had so much disgust in his face, Kiba thought he was going to punch him again.

But he knew he couldn't. He wasn't going to be as pathetic as the blond was.

"Oh yes, he can. And you know why? Because you fucking left. You fucking left when he needed you. You left because it was the easy way. I still can't get what he sees in you. He can do so much better than a fucking child who ran to his ex the moment things get tough. Grow the hell up." Kiba got up and picked up his items.

"You fucking..."

"Is everything okay here?" An employee cut them off.

"Yeah, we just slip." Kiba answered and he got away, leaving a Naruto red with shame.

*'*

"Kiba, what happened to your face?" Gaara asked him when an angry Kiba knocked at his door and entered his apartment in a fury. "Did you fall on something again?"

Kiba looked at him for a moment. He didn't know if it was a good thing to tell him anything. But fuck being good. "Worse. I met your fucking ex." He growled and put the grocery bags on Gaara's kitchen table an started to put the beers and juice in the fridge.

"Naruto?" Gaara frowned and walked towards Kiba and made him face him. He touched Kiba's face and the young man whined a little at the touch. "Sorry. Why did he punch you?"

"Well..." Suddenly, Kiba didn't feel as angry as before and looked more embarrassed that anything else. "He overheard our conversation and when we hung up the last time, well... I wasn't exactly in front of drinks."

"Okay." Gaara didn't see why it was relevant.

"I had condoms and lube in my hands. Not for you! It was for Kankuro and me, you know, we –"

"No. I don't want to hear it. I don't care why you bought it." Gaara interrupted him. His friend loved too much telling him this sort of thing. It would have been okay if the other wasn't his brother. But the other guy was his brother. And he really didn't want to know how Kankuro liked to have his way with Kiba.

"You sure? Because I'm so fucking happy, I want to tell someone about it."

"You have other friends, tell them."

"But I love you the most!" Kiba retorted and he saw the micro smile the enlightened Gaara's face. "I knew you will be happy to know it."

"Whatever." As if Gaara was going to say he liked to know he was important for his friend. "So, condoms and lube. Too much information. And I don't get why he punched you."

"Well, he still think about you and he thought we were going to fuck. Don't look at me like that. It's so obvious that I felt bad for Sasuke at Sakura's birthday."

Gaara just helped Kiba to tidy the groceries and said nothing else.

He was angry. What the fuck was that. Yes, he loved Naruto and he could understand a lot, but he couldn't be happy about that kind of behavior. Naruto was dating Sasuke fucking Uchiha, even though he had told him he was over him the minute they kissed, just to run to him the second they broke up. He couldn't be angry about it, he knew that, it just hurt. After all, he didn't try to talk to Naruto or anything when everything went to shit. He hadn't fought for Naruto at all and the blond found someone else. That was life. And life is a bitch, everyone knows that. And he was truly happy when they started to talk to each other again. He was simply happy that Naruto was finally happy. Texting with him had felt like the old days, before everything went to shit and yes, Gaara was willing to have more, but it wasn't possible. Not now. Not with Naruto all lovey dovey with that jerk. Not when he wasn't able to take care of himself.

But fuck, hitting someone, his best friend, the one that was there for him, always trying to make him good, always encouraging him when he had bad days when all he wanted was to fucking get high. And if he wanted to fuck someone, he had this fucking right. Because he was pretty sure that Naruto wasn't all platonic with Sasuke. Knowing him, he wasn't. And he didn't care. Or he didn't want to think about it.

"Gaara? I can see you're mad. Tell me what is going on in your head." Kiba said once they finished and sitting on Gaara's couch.

"He hurt you." Gaara simply said.

"Yes, but I'm also alive." Kiba reassured him, opening a can of beer.

"I don't understand. He has Sasuke. I didn't go and punched him in the face." Gaara replied, taking a glass.

"That's because you're smart. And clearly, this bastard is not." Kiba shrugged, enjoying the taste of his beer.

"Stop calling him that." Gaara said angrily.

"He deserves it." Kiba said, not impressed by Gaara at all.

"... Maybe a little. But stop it now." Gaara sat next to his friend and put his glass on the coffee table.

"Okay, for you, I will. Hey, in the end, everything has a good side. You're mad because he hurt me. Because you love me. Oh, Gaara, you know I love you too, but it's not possible between us! I have Kankuro, your brother, our love is doomed!" Kiba dramatically said, a hand on his forehead.

"Shut up." Gaara rolled his eyes, but Kiba could see the little amused spark in it. "Well, you wanted to talk to me about something, what is it?" Gaara asked.

"I thought I had to shut up." Kiba answered with a grin. "Okay, you have no sense of humor!" Kiba added as Gaara just glared at him. "You know that I've been accepted at the school I wanted, right? Well, you know when I told you I didn't have enough money for it? I talked to my sister and she talked to my parents and two weeks ago, I saw them." Kiba posed for a moment.

The memory was still hurtful. His sister had talked to him a lot since then and it was even worse than he thought. They didn't want to talk to him anymore, he knew that, but they were also kicking him out of his apartment, not wondering if he had somewhere to go. They wanted to get rid of him. Hana had told him he could go and live with her, but he didn't want to. Their relationship was better because they didn't live together anymore, among other things. He didn't want to go back to the days they were always fighting and yelling at each other. Plus, she had a boyfriend, that their parents didn't approve of, but at least she was straight and it was better than nothing with a son like him. He really didn't want to live with a couple. Too many weird situations and he really didn't want to walk on them fucking or hear them fucking. It was disgusting.

"And?"

"They agreed. If I date and then marry some girl I never met or heard of before. I told them no. That I had Kankuro and..." Kiba was overwhelmed right now and he knew he was going to cry. When he felt a reassuring hand stroking his shoulder, he gave Gaara a pitiful smile. "And they couldn't accept it. I swear, it was worse than the day they found out I was gay. And they walked on me fucking a guy. Like, I wasn't pretending at all."

"Once again, too much information." Gaara smacked Kiba's head and he was glad his friend was not on the verge of tears anymore.

"Anyway, they're kicking me out of my apartment. I didn't have much in it, but all my stuff is at Kankuro's."

"So, you're moving together?" Gaara asked. "You two are fast."

"What? No! We're not a bunch of lesbians!" Kiba exclaimed.

"Why are you talking about lesbians?" Gaara asked.

"Ask your sister. And stop interrupting me! So, I was wondering... Can I use your apartment? I have a job interview tomorrow, so I will pay you some..."

"No."

"Okay..." Kiba's voice was more hurt than he wanted it to be. He never thought Gaara would say no.

"No, you won't pay any rent. I don't know if you remember, but I don't struggle with money. I don't need it."

"But..."

"Shut up. You will not pay anything. Just your food."

"I don't want to bother you. I mean, you're not going to live with Temari and Sakura forever. I'm sure that's what your sister wants, but I know you. It's already driving you crazy, but the day you will have more confidence in yourself, you will come back here."

"No." Gaara said.

"No?" Kiba asked, surprised.

"No. I don't want to. Too many things happened here. I will buy another apartment." Gaara explained.

"You rich bastard." Kiba joked, punching his friend on the arm.

"I know." Gaara smiled a little. "I'm sorry that your parents reacted like this."

"They're jerks so, it wasn't a surprise. And my sister really helped this time, so in a way, it was worth it." Kiba smiled happily. "And Kankuro had been great. He really totally took care of me for two weeks. And he knows more and more what he's doing."

"Kiba, I swear if you keep giving that kind of information, I kick you out of here."

"I thought you were going to throw some pencils at me. You're a horrible boss."

"Kiba."

"Maybe one day, I will find you impressive. So, you also said to me you wanted to tell me something."

Gaara seemed almost shy for a few seconds. "I think one of my employees is hitting on me."

"Really? You need to tell me more." Kiba said, excited. Finally, something good.

"About two weeks ago, we had to work late because of a difficult file and then, he asked me if I wanted a drink. He gave me his number. We had lunch a few times."

Kiba was totally surprised. Where has he been for two weeks? Oh yes, in Kankuro' bed, kissing and discovering Kankuro's body. Two wonderful weeks. But he had missed so much too.

"Kiba, are you with me?" Gaara asked, looking at his friend curiously. But he wasn't sure he wanted to know why Kiba was smiling like this.

"Hm? Oh yes. What's his name?"

"Lee. He's working in marketing."

"Is he cute?" Kiba asked, innocently. Gaara couldn't help but blush a little and he really hoped his friend will not see it. "So he is cute, huh?" Kiba grinned.

"Yes. In a way. He's weird, but not in a bad way. He's very talkative. Very positive. He has a son." Gaara started to mumble.

"So, you go after daddies, now? You slut!" Kiba joked and all he won was Gaara's elbow in his ribs. "Ouch, okay, okay, I'm done mocking you! But Gosh, Gaara, you met someone! Did you kiss? Oh, did you already fuck him?"

"No!"

"Why?"

"You know why."

"He fucking doesn't deserve you. So, do you have a picture of Lee? Or his Facebook? Twitter? Instagram?" Kiba was so curious and excited, he wanted to know how this famous Lee looked like.

"Young people..." Gaara sighed.

"Gaara. You're one of the young people. You're just a granpa when it comes to social media. So, his name again?"

"Rock Lee."

Kiba gave him a strange look and laugh a little. "So I have four guys... Okay, nope, I got him. Just one with a weird look and a cute kid. So, you think he's cute... Yeah, in a weird way, you're totally right. And do you have a kink for guys that love one color in particular? I swear, after the orange, it's green? Well, he has quite a good body. Fuck, he's hot Gaara!" Kiba finally admitted.

"You're talking too much."

"Come on, look at him! I mean, Kankuro has a great and sexy body, but even I have to admit that Lee is fucking yummy. Look at those abs and arms! You like well build guy, you little perv."

"Kiba. Too much information. And you are the pervert." Gaara tried to keep a flat tone, but his friends had picked his curiosity and discreetly he tried to look at the picture.

"Here, it will be easier if I show you directly." Kiba's voice was amused as he gave Gaara his phone.

Gaara gave him a dirty look, but took the phone anyway. And damn, Kiba was right. Lee had a very good body. He wasn't big, but all he was all muscles. He had a sweet smile and he clearly was happy to just spend time with his kid at the beach.

"So, you like what you see? Oh, I can tell you do! Come on, text him and ask him for a drink!" Kiba suggested him. He wanted his friend to have fun and forget everything that is blond and stupid.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because Naruto?"

"Yes. And... I'm not ready."

"Hey, just have fun! It doesn't have to be serious. Since when didn't you fuck? It will do some good. Oh my God, it was with me, right?" Kiba asked, looking astonished.

Gaara nodded and sighed. He had to admit he was quite frustrated lately. Since his libido came back, when he had some free time, his mind wandered automatically to sex. With a certain blond. Always with a certain blond.

Maybe it would be okay to just have fun? Gaara wasn't fond of the idea. Sex for sex wasn't really something he had done before, except with Kiba and it was because he was almost always high. And Lee seemed too sweet to just use him like this.

"Okay, forget about the sex part. Maybe friends? Later with benefits? What the hell!?" Kiba yelled when Gaara throw a pillow at him. "Seriously, is that a thing in your family?"

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah, you're right, but you love me like that. Come on, give me your phone, I'm going to text the hot guy for you."

"No. I can do it myself." Gaara said, protecting his phone.

"So, you want to do it." Kiba smiled and winked at the red head.

Gaara threw another pillow at Kiba, who was laughing out loud, and grabbed his phone. What was he going to say? How could he ask someone for a drink or whatever? Maybe it was a bad idea after all. He wasn't ready, he...

"Okay, breathe Gaara. Just say, "are you free tonight?" and see what happens." Kiba tried to reassure his friend who was thinking way too much for a drink. "Seriously, did you ever date before?"

"With Naruto, we were friends before. It was easier." Gaara replied, typing and erasing the message for the third time.

"And you dated only Naruto?"

"Yes."

"Seriously? Why? I mean, you're fucking gorgeous and smart and cool. Why did you think I was crushing on you for months, before Kankuro?"

"I didn't go to school. I was always at home, with some tutors. Old tutors."

"What a shame. The whole fantasy student/teacher could have been so good." Kiba dreamed a bit. Maybe he had watched too much porn in his life.

"Well, one wasn't that old. Good looking too. But too old. And I didn't want that. Still don't."

"What do you want?"

"Something's true."

"Well, if you don't send the text, you will never know if it could be something true, don't you think?"

Gaara just gave him an undefinable look. His cheeks were a bit pink nonetheless. Kiba saw him typing quickly the text, tap on "send" and Gaara just put the phone away. Not too far, but not too close either. And he was the brat? Damn it, why everyone in this family was so damn uncomfortable with all of this? Well, he knew why. He found it cute, seeing Kankuro that shy and Gaara that ill at ease with some subject. But it also tear his heart.

Kiba couldn't stop from laughing when Gaara jumped on his phone the moment he felt it vibrating. "So, what did the hot, yummy daddy said?"

"That he wasn't available tonight, but tomorrow." Gaara answered, a hint of embarrassment in his eyes.

"I finally understand Kankuro and Temari. My mama hen side just wants to hug you and say "Good Job, baby, you're the cutest!" " Kiba said and took his friend in his arms. "Oh, right, we have to take some photos!"

"Why?"

"Because I said to your brother that if you were angry or cute or just breathe, I would take a picture. And you breathe and you're adorable. So..."

"Why do you encourage him in his lunacy?"

"Because... He's right about you and I'm crazy about him? Yeah, it must be that. Come on, give me your most beautiful smile! Yeah, well... That's your smile I guess. Kankuro will be happy anyway." Kiba sent the picture. "So, are you really okay with me living here?"

"Yes. Here, for you. Just don't break anything." Gaara answered, searching in his bag before handing him the keys' flat.

"Gaara... Thank you. Seriously, I... I was a bit down, I mean, after everything that happened with my parents. Kankuro helped me a lot, but... I really feel relieved now. Thank you." Kiba looked at his friend a bit shyly. "I love you man, you really are the best friend I've ever wished for." And he hugged Gaara hard. He knew he was going to be pushed away, but he didn't care. He was emotional since he had seen his parents. He had a lot to evacuate.

To his surprise, Gaara just patted his head and hugged him as long as Kiba needed.

"Thank you..." Kiba whispered against Gaara's shoulder.

"Stop. It's okay." Gaara stroked Kiba's hair gently before pushing him away gently.

"I knew you loved me too." Kiba joked, waiting for his friend to tell him to shut up. Instead, all he saw was Gaara smiling.

It was not a wide smile. He was a genuine smile. The jade eyes were smiling too. Gaara just seemed... Happy. Because of what Kiba said.

"Fuck, you really do!" Kiba exclaimed, more happy than he thought he would be.

"Shut up." Gaara's smile disappeared, but Kiba could see that Gaara's eyes were still smiling.

"No, don't be like this, be that cute! Shit, I didn't take a pic, Kankuro will kill me! Come on, say you love me!"

"Kiba."

"You know that no one is ever going to be impressed by this tone?"

*'*

When Naruto opened the door, Sasuke frowned and put a hand on Naruto's chin. "What happened to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Naruto said moodily.

He had time to wash his face but the bruise on his jaw had appeared not long after. And he was still angry. Not just because he had just assaulted someone without reason, but because of all the people, it was that fucking bastard that told him to grow up. Being told that by a fucking kid made him so fucking angry.

But why? Why was he like that? Why did he have to feel this way? Maybe Kiba was right. Maybe he had to grow up and... What he had to do was to stop thinking about it. Kiba was wrong, end of the story. He had taken the best decision when he had broken up with Gaara and he wasn't regretting it. At all.

"Naruto, just tell me what..." Sasuke tried to say, but a forceful mouth claimed his lips and he didn't think twice before kissing roughly the blond back.

Naruto hissed in pain, but he liked it. His jaw was begging him to stop, but he didn't want to listen to it. He wanted the pain. The pain always made his mind numb enough to stop thinking. Stop thinking about what he truly felt about Gaara, about Sasuke. About how his family will never accept him with a man. Yes, the pain was good.

Naruto moaned when teeth bit him quite violently on his neck, marking him. He didn't like it when Sasuke was all possessive like that so he pulled out and kissed him again, instead. It became soon needy from the brunet part, but Naruto couldn't get into it. For once, the pain wasn't enough to forget. He was too focused on what happened earlier. He was still feeling irritated. But he had to forget and fucking was the best way he knew to forget anything.

Without even realizing it, his mind was playing some fantasies he had hoped to forget. Red hair, jade eyes invaded his brain. How he would have touched him how his teeth and tongue would have teased him, so tenderly. So frustratingly tenderly.

He pushed Sasuke away, without even realizing it.

"Something's wrong?"

"I-I thought I heard something. I'm fine! Where were we?" Naruto asked, trying to keep composure and he kissed Sasuke roughly. He didn't want to think about Gaara again. Not at a time like this. Not when he was with his boyfriend, about to be fucked by him.

Naruto's shirt was now off and Sasuke was kissing his way down to the blond body. Once again, it was as if he couldn't feel anything. So, he surrendered and he let his mind took control.

Another dirty little secret.

He was in his couch, the redhead beneath him, moaning and biting his lips. His eyes were full of desire and need. His legs were spread widely and Naruto could see how much he wanted him. Gaara's cock was already leaking and he gripped the back of the sofa when Naruto began to prep him.

"You're really into it tonight..." A voice that wasn't Gaara's whispered in his ear.

Sasuke's voice broke the wonderful images he had. He was smirking a little and Naruto thought he was really handsome. But how he would have been more beautiful if he had red hair, lighter eyes and paler skin and... He grabbed Sasuke and started kissing him again. He had to stop. It wasn't right at all. And unfair.

"Hurry up and fuck me, Sasuke."

"It would be my pleasure, but we need some things first."

With a smile, Naruto hurried to pick some lube and condoms in his bathroom and when he came back, Sasuke almost jumped on him and pinned Naruto on the couch.

To Naruto's pleasure, Sasuke's kisses were less hungry and his hands were gently stroking his body. The brunet slowly took off Naruto's pants. It wasn't fast enough for Naruto who took charge of it. He pushed Sasuke against the back of the sofa and unzipped his pants. He took Sasuke erection and put the condom on with some lube, guided it to his hole and he slowly pushed it inside himself. He groaned. The pain was there and he felt his knees trembled.

Finally, the pain was enough.

He felt two arms around him and stroking his back to ease the pain. After a few minutes Sasuke started moving his hips at a slow pace and soon he was buried deep in Naruto who was sighing in satisfaction. Every movement was now hitting his sweet spot.

"Fuck.. Ga – ..." Naruto bit his lips hard. Fuck, it was close. "God... Faster... Sasuke..."

Soon the blond was just moaning incomprehensible words. A hand stroked his cock fast and the image of Gaara's coming under his assault made the blond explode in his lover's hand in a powerful cry. It didn't take very long to Sasuke to finish too and he pulled Naruto in a hug.

They stayed like this for a while, panting, Sasuke kissing Naruto's temple.

"You still need to tell me what happened."

"Just some weirdos that wasn't careful at the store and punched me accidentally in the jaw."

"That's why you were so upset?" Sasuke asked, not buying it.

"No... I'm not in a good mood today. But you helped me a lot to change that." Naruto eluded and kissed Sasuke slowly. His jaw was really killing him now.

The brunet sighed as he knew he will never be able to have something else from his lover. But the endorphin was helping a lot to just accept the situation. He didn't come here to fight or anything, so if Naruto wasn't ready to tell him what was bothering him, he was fine with it. For now.

"My parents will be back in town next week, you know." Sasuke said after a while and Naruto looked at him, not knowing where he was heading. "They will stay here for a while. They want to see me and Itachi a bit more."

"You're lucky. I know how much you want them in your life." Naruto smiled and stroke Sasuke's hair.

"I was thinking... I want them to know you."

Naruto's heart stopped.

"It's been four months and... Itachi wants to meet you, too. And I really would like that."

Naruto was speechless. No words came into his mind. He didn't know if he wanted it. After all, he still didn't tell his family. Or Jiraya. And it wasn't in his plans at all.

"O-okay, well... I will be pretty busy, but... we can try..."

Sasuke smiled and leaned to kiss him sleepily. Naruto could tell that he was very pleased and even... Happy. So why didn't he feel it? Why was he always having doubts? All his life, he had always been like this and he was tired of it. The only time that was easier was...

He sighed and he was glad Sasuke was nos sleeping in his arms. It was a very pleasant sensation.

But it was just that.

His heart didn't beat faster, he couldn't feel butterflies in his stomach. He couldn't be happy when Sasuke was Happy.

A pleasant sensation.

Yes.

It was nothing more.

* * *

 **So, yes it's still a NaruGaa endgame. But I think it's also quite clear they will not be together before a long time (well, not so long anymore, but nonetheless).**

 **At first, this story was supposed to be only about them, but in the end, Kiba had a big part in this story and he was just supposed to be a fuck to Gaara.**

 **Kankuro and Temari were just supposed to be the shameful siblings and in the end, they have a big part too.**

 **So if you wanted an easy NaruGaa, it's not the story you want to read ^^" but if you want to see them together again as strong, independent adults, I promise it will be the case. And it will be veeeery cheesy. So cheesy. I warned you XD**


	17. Everything stays

Chapter 17: Everything stays

*'*

Kiba stopped in front of the front door. His heart was beating fast. He knew that they weren't there. But still, it kinda scared him. What if... What if they suddenly opened the door and yelled the same shit at him? To hurt him more? To make him ashamed of loving Kankuro?

He took a deep breath and the keys which were in his pocket and dropped them in the mailbox. That was it. A big part of his life was now over. Maybe it was for the best. He had loved his years in it. Getting high, fucking or getting fucked, the parties, all that fucked up shit. But also the kisses with Kankuro, how they laughed, how they cuddled in here. He couldn't help but smile. He just wanted to run to Kankuro's flat now. All of his stuff was there already home. A part of him didn't even want to move them somewhere else, but living with his boyfriend so soon... It's scared him. He knew he would love it too much. And he wanted to do things right.

He jumped as the door just opened. His entrails hurt and his fists clenched, but he wasn't able to move.

"Kiba? Why didn't you say you were going to come here?" Hana asked him, surprised. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I just thought it was... Mom or Dad. You scared the shit out of me."

"Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to! Why are you here? They are not here and I don't think they will listen to you..." Hana started, letting the bag she had in her hands drop on the floor.

"Just dropping the keys. You can tell them that the flat is empty." Kiba told her, looking at his feet.

"Where are you going to live? Have you found a place? Are you... Going to live with your boyfriend?" Hana asked curiously.

"What?! No! I'm not some... Forget it. No, I'm not, it's too soon." Kiba blushed and he punched her in the arm as he saw her smiling. "One of my friend just lets me... Borrow his apartment."

"Borrow? Well, you really have a nice friend."

"Yeah. He is the best actually." Kiba smiled genuinely.

"Does your boyfriend have to worry about him?" Hana asked curiously. Maybe his brother was in a love triangle. She read enough yaoi to know how it worked.

"What? No! Oh my God, where are you searching that? You really read too much of your manga shit. This is not how it happens in real life."

"What a shame, it could have been so interesting!"

"Hana..." Kiba laughed slightly. "Thank you."

"Hm? What for?"

"You stood by my side this time. It... It really means a lot to me."

"Of course." She took him in his arms and hugged him softly. "I'm sorry. I should have done it earlier."

"It's in the past, sis." He said as he hugged her back, a nice feeling in his heart.

"So, you... You have a boyfriend?" Hana asked, pulling him away, not knowing if she really could have some information.

"Yes, I have. I didn't make him up." Kiba chuckled.

"Can I have his name?"

"Kankuro Sabaku."

"Like... Sabaku, Sabaku?"

"Yes."

"Oh my God, my little brother is dating a Sabaku. Mom and Dad are fools to not give you their blessing!" Hana laughed. They really were idiots.

"Yeah, but they are fucking stupid like that."

"Do you think... We could have some coffee sometimes? The three of us?"

"I think that it's going to be possible, yes." Kiba smiled, blushing a little. Things may had been harsh lately, but in the end, everything was going to be okay. "Hana... Why do you have a big bag with you?"

"Well... I'm moving out."

"You. You are moving out." Kiba gave her a suspicious look. "You. Wow, how does it feel to become an adult and leave your parents' house?"

"Hey, be nice. Yes, I am. I'm going to move in with Shino."

Kiba was speechless. "You... I thought you had broken up with him because of Mom and Dad."

"I lied. Fuck them, now. I don't need them. And I want you in my life. I want to be able to love who I want even though entomologists are not good enough for a rich girl like me." Hana said, impersonating her parents.

"Yeah, fuck them. I'm happy for you. It's been a while since I saw Shino, I would love to meet him again."

"I would love that too. Hey, what about a drink? I don't want to stay here forever."

"Good idea. But isn't your bag heavy?"

"No, don't worry, it's just the last stuff. I can ask Shino to come if you want! What about asking Kankuro?"

"Well, he's working late today, but... I can try!"

"Cool!" Hana gave him her widest smile, grabbing her bag.

She closed the house door behind her and lead the way.

*'*

 _What about next week?_

Naruto sighed. He didn't want to think about it, but Sasuke was so obsessed with the "meet my family" thing. It was starting to make him angry and he wasn't sure why.

"Okay, once again, you're thinking." Ino's voice made him jump and he threw his coffee on the floor. "Hey, watch it, it was almost on me! What's wrong, Naruto?"

"Nothing. Sorry! I need to clean this up." Naruto grabbed some napkin and started to vigorously rub the floor.

"Okay, so now, tell me."

"Ino..."

"So, Sasuke. I know this tone, don't look at me like this. What is it this time?"

"What do you mean, "this time"?"

"Because I'm starting to know you. You're sulking all the time, always in your thoughts for some times now and when it's about Sasuke, and it's also always about him, you have this... Irritating voice. What, you're going to break up with him?"

"No!"

"Seriously? My bad. So, what is it?"

"He... He want me to meet his parents and older brother."

"Oh. I see. He's way more serious than you are."

"No! Well... Maybe a little? I mean, I still didn't come out to my family and... And..." Naruto didn't know what he could add. It was just it. It was too scary for him. Too serious.

"You can tell him that you want to take things slow. He's going to be hurt by it, but at least, it's honest."

"I can't."

"Why is that?"

"I just can't."

"Because you're still thinking about Gaara?"

Ha. She had pronounced the taboo word, she knew it. But she was getting sick of seeing her friend like this. He used to be so happy and funny when he was with Gaara. Since Sasuke came into the picture, Naruto was just not himself anymore. It was worse since Naruto had seen Gaara for his best friend's birthday. Their relationship wasn't working and he didn't want to admit it.

Naruto was getting angrier now. Gaara. Yeah, Gaara. Fuck Gaara. He wasn't even answering his texts anymore. He knew it was because of what happened in the Supermarket with this Kiba guy. He knew he deserved it, but the love Gaara showed for this bastard was disgusting. He couldn't get why Gaara loved him so fucking much.

"I don't want to talk about him."

"What happened with Gaara? I know you two were talking at some point. It was the only time you weren't being an ass."

"What the hell is wrong with you Yamanaka?"

"You are a pain in the ass Uzumaki!"

"Well, you are one too!"

"Good, we are two assholes then!" Ino yelled and finished her coffee in one mouthful. "Shit, it burns!"

"Is something wrong, Ino?"

"... Hinata and I had a fight." Ino finally answered.

"About what?"

"Her family? I don't really know. It all started because her little sister was going to be forced to marry a certain Kiba Inuzuka and..."

"What did you just say? Kiba Inuzuka?"

"Yes. You know him?"

"I kinda... Punched him in the face."

"What? Why?"

"Well, he was on the phone with Gaara and he had some condoms and lube in his hands and... I got really angry."

"Naruto... Seriously, move your fucking ass." Ino sighed. "Don't look at me like this. You and Sasuke don't work. You are in love with someone else. So much that even after a five months break up, you get angry because he's fucking someone else. And he is braver than you. He told his parents to get lost because he had a boyfriend. Sucks it's Gaara."

"It's not Gaara."

"Oh?"

"He's dating Gaara's brother, Kankuro."

"The asexual one?"

"Yes. Don't ask me, I don't know what happened. Sorry about your fight with Hinata. And for being all jerky with you."

"Apology accepted. I'm sorry too. For the yelling and that it's not working between you and Sasuke." She patted his shoulder with an empathic smile.

"Yeah... Thanks." Naruto whispered.

 _ **Sorry, it will not be possible. I have a lot of work and my family is getting difficult. I will tell you when it is possible.**_

Naruto sighed again. It was the best he could do now. His mind was too tormented and he needed to clear it before deciding anything.

 _ **Hey, it's been a while. I really need to see you. Are you free tonight?**_

A few seconds later, Naruto's phone vibrated and he smiled.

 _Of course. I finish at 7. Do you want me to come?_

 _ **No, let's meet up at our bar. I will wait for you.**_

 _Okay. Can't wait to see you :)_

Naruto smiled.

"Naruto? After your last class, can you come and see me?" Umino Iruka asked, smiling at him with his gentle smile.

"Of course, I always have time for you!" Naruto smiled back. He really liked the guy. He had some big brother's vibe that always calmed him.

"Great. You're going to be late if you stay here."

"Oh, shit, you're right! See you later, Iruka-sensei!"

*'*

Gaara was sitting at the bar. He was getting more and more nervous. Lee was late, he had told him, but more the time passed, the more stressed he was becoming. Why the hell did human beings date? It was an unnecessary scary thing. How normal people succeeded to deal with all their emotions?

Why was he asking so many questions to himself?

It wasn't for him. He had to go home, yell a bit at Temari because she was going to be a pain in the ass. But at least this would be normal. And kind of funny. God, was he really thinking that spending some time with his sister was calming and funny? He really had gone mad since he wasn't taking drugs anymore.

"Gaara, I'm so sorry, we had kind of an emergency at work and I just couldn't leave! I will make 500 push ups to apologize!"

"No need." Gaara still didn't truly understood why Lee always challenged himself, but he was so passionate about it. It was really cute. And he really had to stop to say that every move of Lee was cute.

"So, you're not mad?"

"I'm not. Really." Gaara was feeling a bit out of place. "Things are okay, now?" Yeah. Small talk really wasn't his forte. Why did people need to talk?

Like always when they meet, Lee talked a lot. Really a lot. He always had something to say about anything. Often something sweet and weird, even sometimes funny.

"Are you laughing at me, Gaara?" Lee asked, unsure. "You were kind of smiling. I guess it's like laughing for you." He added when he saw Gaara's asking look.

"Maybe." Gaara smiled.

"You like being all dark and mysterious, don't you?"

"I really don't know why you're saying that." Gaara took a sip of his drink and he couldn't help but noticing how Lee was looking at him.

It wasn't an insistent and an "I want to go and fuck you" look. But clearly, Gaara could tell that Lee liked what he was seeing. He rarely looked at Gaara directly in the eyes, most of the times, his big eyes were focused on the red head's lips, drinking his words. Gaara liked the attention. It had been a long time since someone had looked at him that way.

And he was lucky, Lee was a very cute man.

"You're still making fun of me, I can tell it." Lee said, blushing a bit.

"I was just thinking that you were cute." Gaara casually responded. He thought that his drink was strong until he remembered there wasn't any alcohol in it.

"Gaara, don't make fun of me, I'm very well aware of how I look and how people see me."

"And how do they look at you?"

"I look weird and they gave me a weird look."

"If that's true, they are stupid then." Gaara loved how Lee's cheeks were just getting redder and redder as Gaara praised him. He wasn't lying though. Anyone who didn't find Lee cute was blind or an idiot.

"You really are a smooth talker."

"You are the first person to tell me that."

"If that's true, they are stupid then." Lee repeated Gaara's word and gave him a genuine smile, his cheeks still a bit pink.

"Such a smooth talker." Gaara gave him a small smile and Lee was redder than ever.

It was nice to end the day like this. Lee was still as talkative as ever, but Gaara liked it. Lee always was very thoughtful. The bars he brought Gaara were always calm ones, the music wasn't too loud, there wasn't too many people. They were able to speak without screaming.

When Lee's fingers' brushed his, Gaara couldn't take his eyes away from them. Was it just a clumsy gesture or Lee hoped for more contact? He didn't know what to think about it. He just knew that it didn't bother him as much as he wanted.

He was still thinking about Naruto despite what he did to Kiba. He was still angry and he didn't reply to the blond's texts in a while, even though a part of him craved it. To see him just to yell at him that he didn't have the right to do that. Just to see him. Fuck, why was he thinking about it now? He was with Lee now, he couldn't just let Naruto pop in his head like this.

"What is bothering you?" Lee asked, his hand brushing Gaara's again.

"Nothing." Gaara replied, avoiding to look at Lee directly.

"Don't lie." Lee simply said, trying to catch Gaara's eyes.

"Nothing important."

"Just say you don't want to talk about it if you don't want to. But you're always all mysterious and I have the impression that you know a lot more about me that I know about you. And I really want to know you."

"Why?"

"Well, I... Because, I, well... You know..." Lee stuttered, not wishing to scare Gaara off by using strong words.

"Sorry. I'm just messing with you."

"You have a strange sense of humor." Lee chuckled. He was clearly getting a bit wasted. He couldn't drink. Gaara found it cute. Yes, Lee was truly cute.

"I know." Gaara smiled.

This time, it was Gaara who brushed Lee's arm, but the way he looked at Lee told him it wasn't an accident and Lee's cheeks reddened a bit more as he took Gaara's hand in his own.

*'*

"So, I wanted to see you because I have something to tell you. The dean is going to retire next year."

"Really? Well, Sarutobi-sensei is so old, it's not surprising. What is, is that he is still alive."

"Naruto!"

"I'm just saying!" Naruto laughed. "So, it means you're the next dean, right?"

"Yes. And I was thinking about you to take my place."

Naruto couldn't say a word. He had never thought it would happen so soon. It was a big step to his dreams, but it seemed very intimidating.

"Naruto? Are you not interested?"

"Of course I am! It's just... I never thought it would be so quick..."

"Well, you're doing a great job. And I trust you. You should be more confident about yourself. We can speak about it another time, I just wanted to tell you what I thought about all that."

"Thank you, Iruka sensei."

"Have a nice evening, Naruto." Iruka waved and Naruto gave him a genuine smile.

Iruka always had been good to him. He was one of his teachers when he was in his first year of college, but he quickly had a promotion. Naruto quite admired him for that. And he loved working with him. He remembered how he teased Iruka in his college years. It was very funny and seeing Iruka all red because he didn't know if he had to yell at him or just laugh was one of his favorite things.

 _I am already here. Seriously Naruto, where are you?_

 _ **I'm on my way! Sorry, Iruka wanted to talk to me!**_

 _What did you do to make him reprimand you?_

 _ **Hey not nice!**_

He arrived to the bar a few minutes later, panting heavily. He sat down on the couch and sighed. "What a day."

"Here, your beer."

"The world doesn't deserve you, Sakura."

"You are in a good mood... So Iruka didn't reprimand you."

"Not really."

"What was it about?"

"Just work stuff."

"You're being all mysterious, even though it's been weeks we didn't see each other, what's up?"

"I... I don't know what to do."

"About what?"

"Sasuke."

Sakura took a sip of her drink and closed her eyes. No, she didn't have the right to smile. It wasn't a good thing. Well, for Gaara it was, but not for Naruto. Or it was too. She was going to punch them one day for all the trouble they had caused her.

"I need you to be more specific."

"Parents meeting."

"Oh. Well, it sure is not your thing."

"Hey, it did go well with... With Temari and Kankuro."

"Of course. You wanted to meet them."

"What are you implying?"

"You exactly know what I want to say."

Naruto dropped his head on the table. He knew it was gross, but fuck it. Fuck everything. Seriously, things were too much weird lately.

"You're not the only one to tell me that."

"Well, the other person sure is a wise one."

"If you knew her, you wouldn't say that." Naruto laughed, but it died quickly. "I don't know how I feel."

"Maybe because it's not what you want."

Naruto gave her a sad smile. Going through another break up hadn't been in his plans. But the first one never was neither.

" _Well, I thought you would never leave at the first obstacle, but look where we are."_

" _You fucking left when he needed you."_

Gaara and Kiba's words had never left his mind and the conversation he had with Ino and now Sakura just made them louder.

"How is Gaara?"

"Good. Angry at you, but good."

"I... I think I deserve it." Naruto sighed. But it hurt nonetheless, not having any texts anymore. More than he thought. Or just as he thought.

"Yes, you do. You know, I can get that it hurts you. But Kiba is a good guy. And you weren't together anymore when it happened. I know he has his fair share of shit. Hell, I even punched him in the face for that." Sakura chuckled, but she didn't forget how Temari had threatened to end her life. And their relationship.

Naruto smiled. Everything was easier when Sakura was here. "I missed you, you know."

"I missed you too. Everything is crazy lately, huh?"

"Yeah. You're going to have a baby soon. Kankuro has a boyfriend. I think the end of the world is near."

"Well, what about being honest for the end of the world? Nothing to lose, right?" Sakura said teasingly.

He couldn't get mad at her. If it was somebody else, he would have just told them to shut up. But her... She really was his ray of sunshine.

"How do you think I can make thing simpler?"

"Well, just... Apologize. And not just to Gaara."

Naruto just groaned in displeasure, but he knew it was the thing to do. "I don't really have the occasion to do so."

"Weeeell... Yes, there is."

"What do you mean?"

"Fû organized a baby shower. Temari was totally against it, but she used her cuteness to make her say yes and Temari always is weak to cuteness. More now she is pregnant. And you're invited. Sasuke is not available. I asked him, he's busy this weekend." Sakura said, looking calm. Too calm to be honest.

"You really planned everything, don't you."

"You will never know. Come on, smile pretty boy, everything isn't lost." She patted his hands. "What about another drink? I need to calm down. Naruto, I'm going to have a kid."

"I'll pay."

*'*

"I'm sure my baby will be the most beautiful baby in the world. You know, not like the other babies who are just all wrinkly. Like old people. Or aliens. Mine will be so beautiful." Sakura chuckled, obviously drunk.

"Yes, of course. So, is it a boy or a girl?"

"How do you dare gendering my baby like this? You should be ashamed!" Sakura exclaimed, falsely shocked.

"You sure you want to go home alone? You are completely out of it."

"Yes, I can!" Sakura replied and she tripped over a little rock. "Oops!"

"Okay, I'll call you a cab." Naruto shook his head a bit.

It had been a long time since Sakura had been in this state. Before, it was always when she and Temari had a big fight and the pink haired woman didn't know how to deal with it. They always found a way to make up. But there were times Naruto thought their relationship was not going to survive it. He was glad he was wrong, but seeing his best friend like this made him nervous.

"Is everything alright with Temari?" Naruto finally asked as they were waiting for the cab.

"What? Yes, of course! Why?" Sakura couldn't really look at him in the eyes, but she was trying her best to look at him in the eyes. "Well, we had a little fight, but it's okay. It's the end of the pregnancy and her hormones are just crazy. In a few weeks, it will be over."

"Are you sure you okay?" Naruto faced her. "I don't want you to be all sad when you will have the most beautiful wrinkly baby in the world."

"Naruto... I love youuuuu!" Sakura started to cry and took him in her arms in a powerful hug. "I don't want her to be mad at me. It was stupid and we ignored each other all day and I don't like it."

"So, even the perfect couple can fight." Naruto patted her head and smiled uncomfortably at the people that was staring at him and Sakura.

"We're not perfect. We just have our shit together. Doesn't mean we can't be stupid." Sakura pouted. She was quite cute like this and it made Naruto smile.

"Yes, you're right. I'm sure everything will be okay. Once you will be back, you will just hug and kiss and do gross thing as you always did."

"Moron." Sakura chuckled. "You're a good guy Naruto." She pulled away from Naruto's arms. "So, stop your shit and talk to Gaara. He is mad, but he doesn't hate you." She put one of her hands on Naruto's cheek, smiling. "It's far from that. Just talk to him. The baby Shower is this weekend. Tell your family you're seeing your girlfriend if it's easier for them to back off. Just come. Don't let him go. He will not wait forever." Sakura finally said. She didn't want to tell him about Lee, but she could see.

Gaara was starting to move on. The way his eyes were kinder every time Temari was teasing him about Lee, the way his cheeks were redder. She knew he was still thinking about the blond and she knew the feelings were still there when his noun was pronounced. So many emotions were fighting inside of Gaara every time Naruto was on his mind. But he was less and less in Gaara's thoughts.

She didn't know if it was the right thing to do, but she didn't want to see Naruto suffer. He was her best friend, the brother she always wanted to have. He was her family, even though things had been complicated since the break-up. She never forgot about him. She wanted him so happy and Gaara was making him happy. Not an imaginary girlfriend to push his family away.

Not Sasuke.

"The cab is here Sakura-chan." Naruto said, opening the car's door. "Text me when you're home."

"I will. Have a nice night, Naruto."

"You too. Kiss Temari for me." Naruto helped her sit in the car. She was going to hate herself tomorrow morning.

"Oh, I will." Sakura gave him a knowing look.

"I don't want to know anything else." Naruto shook his head. She was impossible when she was drunk.

"I know you do." Sakura laughed, closing the car's door after waving one last time at him.

He watched the car until he couldn't see it anymore. He opened his coat. It was a lot hotter these days and he decided that walking home was the best. He was a bit drunk too, and it will help him to sober up.

He realized he was smiling. Gaara was still thinking about him. Even after he royally screwed up, Gaara was still thinking about him. The thought made him so happy. He didn't feel that way in a long time. Not even with Sasuke.

Especially with him. Things weren't working out. He couldn't be with him. It wasn't fair to keep going like this. To keep his hopes high. It was time to do the right thing, wasn't it?

He was feeling so light, he had the impression he was flying. He was going to see Gaara this weekend. He wanted to skip time and be Saturday's afternoon. He wanted to see him so bad.

He thought he was dreaming when he saw the image of Gaara across the street. He knew he was drunk, but was he that drunk? Maybe he was a bit tired too. But the red head was moving and talking, so maybe it wasn't. So he just had to cross the street and talk to him. His smile widened.

But it faded as he saw a guy putting a hand on Gaara's shoulder. Since when Gaara allowed someone to touch him? It wasn't Kankuro, Temari or Sakura. It wasn't him. Naruto had always been one of the few people Gaara could accept like this.

Naruto could feel the tension between them. They were too close. Their bodies, their faces. Too fucking close. And when the unknown guy put his lips on Gaara's, something broke inside Naruto. He couldn't move. He couldn't scream.

The redness on Gaara's cheeks was the last straw. He ran in the opposite direction. He ran and ran until he finally get to his flat.

He closed the door and went to his bedroom. He could feel his phone vibrating. He could see the name. Sasuke. Sakura. Ino. He didn't care about them now.

Tears were falling on his face. He couldn't feel angry. He was just sad. So Gaara had a boyfriend. Sakura didn't tell him that. Maybe he wasn't.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck!

He hit his pillow with his fist and let it all out. He screamed in it until his voice broke. Everything he had felt in the last five months was finally ready to go out. By not hitting someone else who wasn't responsible for anything.

They had never really talked to each other. They always were avoiding the too sensible subjects. They always wanted to be with each other without showing who they really were. Naruto always knew Gaara wasn't okay. He always had felt it. But it was easier to say nothing, to just thinking that if it was the case, Gaara will tell him. But the red head never did and took a path Naruto couldn't accept when he had done nothing to help. And now, now that he was clearly healthier, he didn't come back. He had found some guy and that was it. It was truly the end.

Naruto didn't know how many hours had passed. He didn't want to watch his phone. He couldn't even open his eyes anymore.

When he passed out, he couldn't think about anything anymore.

*'*

"Sakura? Oh my God, you are drunk." Temari said, helping her get inside their house.

"Just a bit." Sakura tried to walk straight, but it was too much for her.

"Yeah, yeah, right." Temari couldn't help but smile a bit.

She let Sakura fall on the couch, almost falling asleep. She was so going to regret it tomorrow morning.

"Come on Babe, if you want to sleep, it will be better in our bed." Temari said calmly, stroking Sakura's hair.

"I can sleep in our bed?" Sakura asked, full of hope.

"Of course, you idiot." Temari smack Sakura's forehead softly. She was such an idiot. Her idiot.

"I'm so sorry Temari... I didn't want to fight... I hate it when we fight..." Sakura said with tears in her eyes.

"I know. I hate it too. I'm sorry too, Sakura. It's just with.. The date is coming, the baby is almost here, I'm feeling stressed and I took it on you. But it's nothing. I really want you to sleep by my side tonight. I will never want anything else." Temari leaned down to kiss Sakura on the lips.

"Even if I stink of beer?" Sakura asked, smiling dumbly.

"Even if you stink of beer." Temari laughed, kissing her cheeks.

Sakura smiled and got up tentatively before hugging Temari gently. "I love you."

"I love you too. Come on, let's go to bed."

"Gaara hasn't returned?" Sakura asked, not seeing the red head's coat.

"Not yet. Maybe he won't." Temari said with a knowing look. "He's such a little... Slut? It's weird to say that about my brother, right? Well, he's a naughty boy. Yeah, naughty boy is good." Temari said proudly.

Sakura heart tightened. She remembered what she had said to Naruto and she hoped she was right. She didn't want his friend hurt again.

She let Temari undress her and putting her under the blanket.

"Sweet dreams, Sakura." Temari whispered, taking her hand.

But she was already asleep.

*'*

Gaara tried to close the door as silently as he could. He went to the kitchen and took a glass. He needed to drink something and the only thing he could think of was water.

He sat in the couch, in the dark.

He had kissed Lee tonight. And he didn't know what to think of it.

It had been a nice kiss. A really nice one. So nice that he was blushing just thinking about it. He remembered how his body had become hotter. He remembered how he had opened his mouth to let Lee invade his mouth. How Lee had dominated him without being aggressive. How Lee's hand on his neck had stroked him, making him moan slightly. When he had opened his eyes, he didn't know what to do. It had been the first time he ever kissed someone publicly. It was a nice sensation.

It had been nice until his eyes had tricked him. He had seen blond hair and all of a sudden, he was just searching for him.

Naruto.

But he didn't find him. Lee just squeezed his hands, apologizing for his behavior. And Gaara had kissed him again. But it was different. His mind was troubled, just thinking about blond hair. Once they had pulled apart, Gaara apologized for his behavior and it made Lee smiled so wide, Gaara just loved it.

But when Lee asked him if he wanted to have a drink in his apartment, Gaara couldn't say yes. Not in this confused state.

Not when all he was searching for was blond hair.

*'*

The sun hurt Naruto's eyes. He had forgotten to shut his shutters down and he growled. He didn't want to get out of bed. The world outside was shit. He had been in a terrible mood all the week. He almost hadn't talked to Sasuke at all. Sometimes, he had even forgotten about him and it made him feel terrible too.

He was a shitty person. Such a fucking shitty person. But he wasn't in the right mind to give him an answer to whatever Sasuke needed. He knew Sasuke didn't want to let them fall apart. Naruto knew Sasuke loved him and for months he had taken advantage of it.

His phone vibrating made him open his eyes.

 _Hey beautiful. Don't forget that the Baby Shower is today. I will need you. Temari isn't in a good mood and I will need help to hold her down. And Gaara will be there too. Kiba too, so you will be able to say how sorry you are. Because you are a good boy._

"I don't want to be a good boy." Naruto mumbled and got up to go to the bathroom.

But he was going to be a good boy.

And more importantly, he was going to see Gaara.

*'*

 _Good luck for today. I'm sure your sister isn't as much as a demon than you think. She always was very nice to me every time we worked together._

 _ **You don't know her at home.**_

 _Aha, you're right. Well, maybe I can help you forget about it tonight._

Gaara smiled at the innuendo. Lee was very patient, but he wasn't hiding how he liked to spend time with him either.

 _I just want you to forget about it and I'm sure I can help._

Gaara couldn't help but laugh a little. It wasn't less ambiguous at all.

 _I mean... Gaara, I don't want you to think I want to do anything you don't want._

This guy was just... Too cute.

 _I think it's better now if I stop trying to put it right, don't I? And I swear I can see you're mocking face right now._

 _ **I will never dare.**_

"I swear to God, I'm going to kill Fû the moment she will arrive." Temari was fuming on the couch. She wasn't in a good day at all.

"No, you're not. You're going to let her prepare everything, you will be treated like a Princess and you will be very happy to see all of your friends. You know that Tayuya will be there, right?"

The name made Temari calm immediately. She had always been fond of Tayuya. They knew each other since High School and Tayuya had been there when time were really tough. Tayuya was a weird girl at first glance, but she was a tender person on the inside. According to Temari. Sakura never saw this side, Gaara or Kankuro neither.

"Well, when you put things that way." Temari finally said, accepting the glass of water Sakura offered her. "You promise you will not leave me alone with them, Babe?"

"I promise." Sakura nodded, but she knew the moment the guest will come in, Temari will be so happy to see her friends, she will need no help. Or she will become a fury and Sakura will have to step up. God, this day was going to be tiring.

*'*

"Hi guys! Wow, Tema-chan, you look so great! Your belly is fantastic! Where can I put this?"

"You can put it in the living room." Sakura answered before Temari could snap at Fû.

"Great! You will see Temari, it will be perfect!" The woman with blue hair run into the living room. "Oh my God, your house is more beautiful than the last time I came!"

"It was two weeks ago..." Temari started, but Sakura kissed her cheek to prevent Temari to say anything mean.

"Yes, but still! Oh Gaara! You're so handsome today! Do you have a date? I'm sure there is a lucky gal or a lucky boy!" Fû took Gaara's hand and was squeezing it hard.

Gaara didn't know what to do with such a loud person, he just wanted to run away from her. Not that he didn't like her. She scared him to death.

"Fû, what about a drink? You have so much to do before everyone arrives. In two hours." Sakura said and Gaara could have kissed her. "You owe me one." She smirked. "Why are you so afraid of her? She's is tiny and cute."

"She is... Too much." Gaara didn't know what else to say.

"You dated Naruto." Sakura pointed out. "He was a bit much sometimes."

"Maybe. It never bothered me." Gaara said casually, but Sakura could sense that this name was still doing something in Gaara.

She watched him go hiding, a smile on her lips.

*'*

"Wow, you really did a good work Fû. In two hours? I'm impressed!" Kiba complimented the young woman who was now blushing.

"It's nothing! I would do anything for Tema-chan!" Fû said excitedly.

"Yeah, even things I don't want you to..." Temari mumbled.

Kiba laughed. It really was pleasant to be in this house. The warm atmosphere, he hoped he will have it one day. With Kankuro.

A big house, but not to big as they will not have any children. But They will need a big garden, as they will have at least three dogs. Big dogs. Maybe one of them will be their ring bearer at their wedding?

He couldn't help but smile dumbly. Why was he thinking about it again? It was way too early. He had to finish vet school, to live together first. Have fights, have sex. Everything. And he was so looking forward to it. He couldn't understand why people were scared of these kind of things so much. It was so amazing being in love with someone.

Unconsciously, his eyes were searching for Kankuro who had just arrived. His boyfriend was greeting Fû with a friendly hug. Both of them were making a lot of noise. They were like children. Kiba noticed how the young woman was blushing and always trying to touch Kankuro, on the shoulder or arm. She was really into him. And he couldn't care less. He totally got it. Kankuro was clever. And funny. And hot. Especially in this tight shirt and pants. Kiba wanted to eat him up now. Such a shame the day was far from over. All he wanted was to take him home and teach him something new again. Kiba licked his lips. Gosh, this day was going to be long.

Kankuro finally noticed Kiba and how he was looking at him and pink appeared on his cheek. He totally knew what Kiba was thinking when he was looking at him like this.

"You're a pervert." Kankuro muttered, stepping towards Kiba.

"What? I didn't do anything!" Kiba smiled, proud.

"Your expression." Kankuro pointed out.

"You don't like it?" Kiba asked playfully.

"I didn't say that." The older man admitted. He loved this expression on Kiba's face. He loved knowing how the young man was always thinking of him. Desiring him.

"So kiss me, old man." Kiba whispered, his gaze focused on Kankuro's lips.

"Brat." Kankuro cupped Kiba's cheeks and kissed him keenly.

Kiba laughed a bit when he heard a little croaky cry behind them. They just broke Fû's heart.

"Seriously. They are people around. Get a room" Gaara's voice raised behind them. "You two are impossible."

"Don't be such a prude." Kiba retorted with a knowing look, while Kankuro was hiding his face his the crook of his neck.

"I just don't want to have nightmares. I have enough with what you told me."

"Kiba! Stop telling him everything!" Kankuro pushed the young man away. He didn't want his baby brother to know what they were doing in their bedroom. It was too embarrassing.

"I don't! Just a bit, I admit. Not even detailed!" Kiba tried to act innocently.

"Always too much information." Gaara gave them a judgmental look.

"Gaara... I'm so sorry, come here, I will give you a hug!" Kankuro didn't wait Gaara's answer and took him in his arms.

"I see that some things really don't change..." A familiar voice said behind them.

The three of them just watched Naruto who seemed really ill at ease. Something told him that hitting Kiba in the face really wasn't the best move he ever did.

"Oh, Blondie. Here to hit me once again for no reasons?" Kiba said with a smile.

"No. I'm here for Sakura. And Temari." Naruto answered not able to look at him in the eyes.

Kankuro left the room and it hurt Naruto more than he thought. He and Kankuro always got along very well and even after the break up, every time they were seeing each other, the older man had been nothing but friendly with him. Being ignored was more depressing than he thought. But he knew he deserved it.

Naruto watched Kiba going after his boyfriend, leaving him alone with Gaara. The red head was still silent and the look he was giving him wasn't a gentle one. It seemed empty, but the resentment and the hurt were very clear to Naruto.

He wanted to apologize, but the memory of the red head, kissing someone else hit him in the guts. All he was capable was giving Gaara a hurt expression.

They stayed like this a few seconds before Gaara left the room, no words coming out of his mouth.

*'*

"Why are you looking all gloomy?" Temari asked him, offering him a beer. "Drink for me. I need it and I can't. Be my drinking buddy."

"Thanks." Naruto smiled and took the bottle. "I'm not gloomy."

"Please. All you do since you came here is to look at Gaara like a hurt puppy. He didn't speak to you, huh?"

"No."

"Well, you fucked up. Why did you do that? Kiba is dating Kankuro, I think you can see how gross they are." Temari pointed the two men who were shamelessly flirting in the center of the room.

"I know. I... I think I fucked up. But not just this. Everything. Leaving him. I... I saw him with a guy last night." Naruto sighed, his hand on his face.

"Oh, yes, he was with Lee. He works for us. He's in marketing. A funny guy." Temari informed him.

"They were kissing." Naruto said after a few seconds, trying not to lose his mind.

"What? He didn't tell me that, this little..." Temari started to vent, but stop as she saw how Naruto was miserable. "He wasn't going to wait for you forever. And you have a boyfriend."

"I know..." Naruto sighed as he thought that he had totally forgot about Sasuke since he was here.

"What do you want?" Temari asked, looking at him seriously.

Naruto couldn't respond. Not now. Not with this situation.

"Look, I really like you, Naruto. You made Gaara as happy as he is angry at you now. And by that, it means that you made him truly, fucking happy. But you broke his heart. You had your reasons. Good ones. But you acted like a child since then. I was cute before. But it's time to grow up. If you definitely don't want to lose him, move your ass."

"I have this weird impression that everybody told me this since a few weeks."

"Wise people. Keep them close." Temari smiled. "Come on, drink this beer. I need it. Why did I say yes to this."

"Gifts. And Tayuya."

"Yeah, you're right. She's still not here, though." Temari whined, sinking a bit more in the couch.

"I'm sure she will be here in no time. Hey, look, I'm right, she's here!"

"Tayuyaaa! Finally! Why are you so late?"

Naruto smiled as he watched the two women talked. Temari seemed so happy and Tayuya. Was Tayuya. He took a sip of his beer and he let his eyes wandered. When they finally found what he wanted.

It was something strange to see Gaara washing the dishes. He never saw him doing it before. When he was at Gaara's place they often took something away so they had nothing to do. There were never dirty plates or anything else in his kitchen sink though. Did he even eat when he was alone? He took a good look at him, with pure innocence and the answer was yes, he did eat. He was a lot less thinner, he was almost normal now and even a little muscular if he could trust Gaara's good looking ass.

Naruto sighed internally. Will he be able to not check Gaara out once in his life?

He got up and walked in the kitchen. He grabbed a dish towel and stood next to Gaara, taking a plate to dry it. The silence was strange. Never before, the silence had been so heavy between them. Before, Naruto had always liked it. Gaara was the only person with whom it felt good not to talk to. Just enjoying his presence. His warmth. His smell.

He just missed him like crazy.

"I'm really sorry." Naruto finally said and Gaara suddenly dropped one of the plate and his fists were clenching.

Gaara just looked at him and the look he gave Naruto wasn't a kind one and it made Naruto uneasy. It wasn't the first time he was seeing this expression on his ex lover's face. But never once before, it had been for him. He had truly fucked up. And it depressed him more than he wanted. And he knew why. He knew perfectly why and he had the impression his life wasn't making any sense anymore.

"I don't know what you are playing. But do that once again, you will regret it." Gaara spat the words. His expression was blank, as if he was not feeling a single thing.

But Naruto knew. He knew he wasn't kidding. He had crossed a line. He never thought that Gaara could feel that way towards someone that wasn't Kankuro or Temari. Not for someone else but him.

And it was making him more jealous than he thought.

Of course, it was clear than Kiba didn't look at Gaara as anything but a friend anymore. And it was stupid to feel jealousy for that. He couldn't ask Gaara to just look and speak to him. It wasn't healthy. It was childish and toxic.

"I am not the one you should apologize to." Gaara added, going back to wash the plates. "Be careful, you're not drying them right."

"Yes ,sir..." Naruto tried to joke, but Gaara just glared at him and Naruto dried once again the plate quickly.

Silence fell on them once again. They could hear Kiba and Temari laughing in the living room, Kankuro falsely crying, Sakura desperate and all the other guests talking.

Naruto felt suddenly out of it. He could have been here not just as Sakura's friend, but as Gaara's lover. They could have been laughing too with all of them, they would have laughed and flirted while doing this stupid chore that would have been so much bearable that way.

And he knew. He knew that was what he wanted. Not meeting Sasuke's parents. Not seeing his family every weekend. Not lying to Jiraiya about an imaginary woman. Not seeing Gaara kissing someone else and be happy without him.

He wanted to embrace the red head and eat Ramen with him, fight and make up. Kiss and make love as soon as they would have put a foot in Gaara's flat.

But now it wasn't even his place anymore. Kiba was in it. Gaara was living in this house. He probably had a new boyfriend and if it wasn't the case, it was just a matter of time.

So much had changed. And he had the impression he had no place in all of it.

Naruto turned his head. The first thing he saw was Kiba blushing and grinning like the idiot he was as Kankuro just kissed his cheek for whatever reasons. They looked so happy. So fucking happy. Kiba made all of the Sabaku's happy. He had such a good influence on them.

"You really like him, huh?" Naruto asked, not looking at Gaara. He would have thought he would have been angry about it. Of course, he was jealous, but not as much as he thought he would have been given the situation. He knew Gaara and Kiba fucked, but he couldn't be angry about it anymore. Not with all the shit he had done himself.

Not after leaving because it was too hard to help the person he was in love with. Not after getting back with Sasuke.

"Yes." Gaara responded. "He had helped me a lot." Gaara put the last plate on the drainwack. "I like him a lot." The red head didn't really know why he had said that, but he just hoped Kiba will never know.

"I see. It's good to have a friend, right?" Naruto dried the last plate and took them all to put them away.

"Yes. I never thought I was so eager to have one." Gaara smiled a little and Naruto did too.

The tension between them seemed to soften and they felt as if they could finally breathe.

"So, Kankuro has it bad for him. I still can't believe it."

"Yes. They're gross." Gaara dried his own hands and leaned on the wall.

"Kankuro tells you everything?" Naruto chucked softly.

"Worse, Kiba does. I have too much information about those two. Sometimes, I'm just thinking about killing them both."

"But you will have some trouble with the police."

"I have money. I am sure I will be fine." Gaara flatly said.

Naruto laughed softly. "Yes, you will be fine." He paused for a moment and looked into Gaara's eyes. "I'm truly sorry. For everything. For hitting your friend. For hurting you. I miss you Gaara. In my life." Naruto took a plate to dry it and to gather his courage. "I want... I would like to be in your life again. Not as... I mean, as a friend. If it's okay with you." Naruto wanted more than that. But it was a good start if they could just be friends. If he had to move his ass, he had to learn about Gaara more.

Gaara stopped what he was doing and was looking at Naruto intensely. His heart was beating like crazy and he could also feel a bit... Disappointed. Friends. Like they were before. But did they were ever friends? Gaara always had been in love with Naruto. He still was, even though Lee was starting to seriously get inside his mind. And Gaara knew he had no chance with Naruto for more. He was happy with Sasuke and if it was enough for the blond, it was enough for him too.

It could be good, to have another friend. After all, he was missing him too, despite all the anger he had felt for a few weeks. Being able to talk with him, laugh with him.

"I would love that." Gaara said and the way Naruto was smiling at him made his heart go crazy once again.

"Thank you. Really, thank you. You don't know how happy it makes me." Naruto blushed.

In the distance, Kiba was now watching them. Naruto and Gaara were just casually talking, but it was so clear that something else was going on. The way Gaara just looked at Naruto while the blond was talking was worth any words. The way Naruto just glow now they were finally able to be alone, one must be blind not to understand how in love he was with the red head.

"Hey, I think Blondie is hitting on your brother." Kiba whispered in Kankuro's ear and it made the older man shiver.

"Don't do that! And, what? Seriously, I'm going to kick him in the nuts!" Kankuro exclaimed and Fû gave him a weird look.

"Don't, Gaara will never forgive you."Kiba patted Kankuro's knee. "It's such a shame Gaara is in love with such a stupid guy."

"Well, Naruto isn't a bad guy. I just think he's lost. But yes, he is stupid. And I also want to punch him in the face."

"All macho today? Hmmm I might like that, you know? You really like me, huh?" Kiba teased his boyfriend, whispering once again in his ear.

"Are you really doubting that?" Kankuro tried to maintain a straight face, but the feelings Kiba's breath awoke in him was anything but innocent and the look he gave Kiba was a lot more excited as he wanted it to be.

Kiba just swallowed hard. "I really hope this stupid party will be over soon."

*'*

"Thank you for coming and please, don't ever come back!" Temari said while shutting the front door after the last guests had left. "It was so painful to have all of them here. Seriously, why is Baby Shower even a thing?"

"Well, like this we don't have to buy anything. Look, we have a breast pump!" Sakura laughed as she took the thing in her hands.

"If you approach me with that one day, I will kill you, Babe. My boobs don't deserve this torture." Temari put her hands on her breasts to protect them.

"What, you're not going to breast feed? You bad mom!" Sakura falsely judged her lover.

"Can you stop talking about boobs, please?" Kiba asked, disgusted.

"Did we shocked your fragile gay ears?" Temari teased, sticking her tongue out.

"What did you say, old lesbo?"

"Who's old, brat?"

"Okay, children, please, not now!" Sakura intervened, giving a desperate look to Naruto who was just laughing at the scene.

"You're lucky you have your girlfriend with you, old woman."

"Get out of here, little baby."

"Okay, bye Sakura, bye sis!" Kankuro gave her sister a quick hug. And people said he was the worst one in this family. "Come on Kiba, we're going home. Gaara, come here!"

"No."

"Give you big bro a hug."

"Die."

"Seriously, I can't with this family anymore." Sakura sighed and put her head on Naruto's shoulder. "Please, save me before it's too late."

"You're going to have a baby with one of them."

"Crap."

Now, Kankuro was running behind Gaara, who was trying to lose him. Temari was just cheering them. Kiba was laughing softly next to her. Naruto saw the opportunity. He inhaled deeply and walked towards the young man who gave him an unsure look.

"I... I am... Very sorry. About last time." Naruto said, ill at ease.

"Oh. Yeah, you should be." Kiba replied.

This fucking brat. Naruto bit his lips. No, he wasn't going to say anything else. He did what he had to. Even though Kiba was a stupid little shit, it was okay.

"You are stupid, aren't you, Blondie?" Kiba mocked him. It was so good to play with him. So easy. "If you are really sorry, stop it. Stop giving him hope."

"Hope?" Naruto was surprised.

"You know what I'm talking about. I know you're stupid, but not that much. Well, maybe that much..." Kiba added.

"Okay, shut up." Naruto interrupted him and he didn't like Kiba's mocking smile.

"I swear, hurt him once again, I will kick your ass." Kiba said more seriously as he put his coat on.

"I won't. I just want to be his friend. He is seeing someone after all. Temari told me." Naruto said as emotionally as he could.

"He is seeing someone... Right." Kiba was murdering Gaara in his head. This moron didn't tell him anything. "Kankuro, stop crushing Gaara!"

"Yeah, let me do it." Temari said, pushing Kankuro away.

"Leave me alone." Gaara finally said, keeping his siblings away from him. "Go and leave with your boyfriend."

"You're so cold to me..." Kankuro whined and he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was Kiba. He gave his boyfriend an interrogative look.

 _If we leave now, I promise you will have a reward, old man._

Kankuro swallowed hard. He looked at Kiba, a little red. He could feel some warmth tickling his stomach. He looked at Gaara who was clearly telling him to leave. But he couldn't choose... Sex over his brother, right? But a part of him wanted to get out of here and let Kiba ravished him wherever he wanted. In the car, maybe? It could be nice in the car.

"Well, I think Kiba and I have to go. Bye everyone, it was good to see you!" Kankuro took Kiba's hand and went to his car in a hurry while Kiba was waving at them with a stupid grin on his face.

"I never thought Kankuro could leave that fast..." Naruto said a bit surprised.

"Kiba has more and more power over him. Power of sex. That shit is strong." Temari said.

"Nobody wants to hear that, Temari." Gaara sighed.

"Now you're the shy one about it... How things changed!" Temari laughed and ducked as Gaara threw a pencil at her. Where did he find one?

Naruto watched them with a smile. Yeah, it was good to be like this again. Seeing the three of them bickering. It wasn't new, but it was so different at the same time. Before, Gaara would have never accepted all this attention. He would have just thrown Temari and Kankuro away. Now, he just welcomed them, in his own way.

Kankuro seemed a lot less stressed. Never before, Naruto would have thought that Kankuro was having so much in his mind. But now that he had seen him with Kiba, it was clear, he was feeling better. He was still very energetic, but in a healthy way.

Temari was pretty much the same. But she didn't seem to be worrying as much a she did before. She was just smiling genuinely, still saying what was on her mind, but she didn't have the sadness of seeing her little brother so withdrawn. And she was so happy to have a child, she was more beautiful than ever, in a way.

Everything stayed, but it still changed.

"I think it's my turn to go home."

"Sure you don't want to stay for dinner?" Sakura asked. "We will be happy to have you with us."

"I'm tired. But some other time, I promise." Naruto smiled, hugging her.

"Text me when you're home." Sakura said, smiling.

"See you soon, Naruto." Temari hugged him tight.

She took Sakura's hand and took her to the living room. She winked at a surprised Sakura. "It's better if we leave these two alone." She said and Sakura smiled.

"You're the best, Babe."

"I know."

Gaara and Naruto were looking at each other, not speaking. It felt strange to say goodbye. Naruto didn't want to leave and Gaara didn't want to let him go. But they couldn't say it. It was too much for a friendship, right?

"Be safe on your way home."

"I will." Naruto smiled and Gaara had the impression he was the most important person in the world. Like old times.

"Say hi to Sasuke for me." Gaara said, looking at his feet. It was something friends said, right?

"I will." Naruto nodded and Gaara didn't see the glimpse of sadness in the blue eyes. "I'm off now." Naruto said awkwardly as he opened the door. "Bye."

"Bye."

*'*

"Kiba... If you don't stop, we will never leave..." Kankuro moaned as his boyfriend bit him on the neck.

"Well, doing it in the car can be pretty intense, you know?" Kiba whispered and licked the mark, loving how it made Kankuro harder to think straight.

"I'm sure of it, but... I don't want it to happen in front of my sister's home!" Kankuro exclaimed, blushing hard as he tried to push Kiba away.

The younger man chuckled in Kankuro's ear and one of his hands stroked Kankuro's cock over his clothes. Kankuro was biting his lips hard, his head slightly thrown back. Kiba wanted to see him like this all the time.

The noise of the front door opening made Kankuro jumped and he took Kiba's hand to protect his dignity. But judging by the strange look Naruto gave him, it was too late. The blond was blushing and just gave him a quick wave before running away.

"Ah, Blondie caught us!" Kiba chuckled.

"Don't laugh! God, you're impossible sometimes!" Kankuro smacked Kiba behind the head and started his car.

Once they were in Kankuro's flat, Kiba hugged Kankuro from behind. The ride had been silent and as much as Kiba enjoyed messing with Kankuro a bit, he was afraid he had been too far this time.

"Are you mad?" Kiba asked.

The only response he got was Kankuro pinning him against the wall, kissing him hard. "Yes, I am. You made me all hot and bothered somewhere we couldn't do anything and someone caught us." Kankuro licked Kiba's ear, then his neck. "It's hell to drive like this. All I think is how bad I want you to touch me and how I want to touch you."

Kiba swallowed hard. Kankuro was now looking at him, panting heavily, a bit of redness on his cheeks, his pupils dilated. He was so fucking gorgeous. Kiba really thought he was the luckiest guy ever.

He took Kankuro's hand and went into the bedroom. Once he closed the door, he unbuttoned Kankuro's shirt and threw the piece of cloth away. He pushed the older man on the mattress and dominated him. "I wanted to touch you like this all day long." Kiba bit Kankuro's neck, the way he liked it and he threw Kankuro's pants away as well. "I want you so much, Kankuro..." Kiba had managed to put away the last piece of Kankuro's clothes away. "You're so fucking beautiful..." Kiba leaned for a fiery kiss, but he could tell something was off. "Kankuro?"

The older man was trembling a bit and he didn't seem as aroused as before. "I don't like this. I don't like being the only one naked. It... It doesn't feel right."

Kiba smiled and sit on Kankuro. "Sorry. I got carried away once more. You can take off anything you want."

Kankuro got up, blushing a little more. He slid his hands under Kiba's shirt and removed it. Once Kiba was half naked, Kankuro couldn't help but blushing a bit more. The young man was really well build and it always made him feel hotter. Kankuro's fingers drew every line of Kiba's abs. He bit his lips. He wanted to lick every inch of it so bad. Trembling a bit, he put his lips on Kiba's stomach and kissed it and he was reassured when he heard Kiba's sighs in approval.

Kankuro moved his lips lower until the position was uncomfortable for him. He licked and bit the flesh, leaving red marks on his trail. The little moans escaping from Kiba's lips made him want to keep going lower. He could see how Kiba was getting harder and harder. Kankuro wondered how this thick cock would feel in his mouth. Kiba seemed to always enjoy himself greatly every time he sucked him. Will it be the same for him?

Kankuro slid a finger under Kiba's underwear and Kiba's fingers dug into his shoulders and it made him shiver. It was a bit embarrassing, but he really enjoyed when Kiba was like this. Of course, he didn't want to be in pain, but the feel of him losing control, when Kiba was biting him or pulling his hair, it excited him so much.

Kankuro undid Kiba's belt and lowered his pants. He hesitated for a second before kissing shyly Kiba's hard member through the fabric.

"Fuck, Kankuro..." Kiba tried his best to not just get naked and to sink in the hotness of Kankuro's mouth. It was the first time Kankuro really took charge of everything and he didn't want to be too fast.

He could feel Kankuro's smile and opening his mouth, sucking. Fuck, he was going to cum. Just like this.

Feeling Kiba trembling and becoming harder and harder was driving Kankuro crazy. The scent, the taste, he loved it. He wanted to take him in his mouth and lead him to his climax with his tongue and lips. But he wasn't sure that he would be good at it. Kiba had many lovers who were more skilled than him. What if he was no good at all and Kiba just stopped him?

"You fucking tease." Kiba growled and pinned Kankuro on the mattress, making his lover forget about his unpleasant thoughts. "Is it funny to make me feel this way?"

"Yes, I love it." Kankuro chuckled. "Are you going to make me regret it?"

Kiba was speechless for a while. He had to refrain himself. Kankuro was playing a dangerous game. Did he know how fucking hot he was? How it was harder and harder to not ravish him in every way possible?

"Want me to punish you?" Kiba whispered in Kankuro's ear, knowing exactly how his boyfriend loved it.

"Hnn... Fuck, yes..." Kankuro moaned.

"You... Fuck, Kankuro, I can't take this much. Stop it or I will not be able to control myself." Kiba faced the older man, panting heavily.

"So don't." Kankuro leaned to Kiba's mouth and took his lower lips between his teeth and sucked it. "Don't control yourself and do what you want to me."

"I hope you really understand what you just said." Kiba looked at Kankuro intensely and kissed him hard.

Kiba took off his last clothes and went back to Kankuro's lips, between his legs and kissed him again. It wasn't gentle, romantic or role play anymore. It was just his desire taking control of everything. His hands were everywhere on Kankuro's body, scratching his skin. And he loved how the older man was reacting. His hands were on his face, his mouth was wide open in a silent scream and he was so hard, precum was already dropping from the head.

"Fuck, you're so fucking hard." Kiba took Kankuro's cock in his head and started to stroke him faster. "Like that, sweetheart?"

"Fuck, yes, hnn... Kiba..." Kankuro wasn't able to say anything intelligible.

"Don't hide your face. I love to see you when you're like this." Kiba put Kankuro's hand away from his gorgeous face, slowing down his pace on Kankuro's cock.

His fingers brushed Kankuro's cheek and the older man opened his eyes lazily and smiled. Kiba's heart stopped for a moment. He loved seeing him like this. He will never be able to go back to how things were before. Kisses will never be enough anymore.

Kankuro leaned to Kiba's fingers, wanted to be touched. Kiba slid a finger on Kankuro's lips and pushed it a little as Kankuro opened his mouth and took this finger in. He licked and sucked and moaned, wanting so much more.

"You really know how to give me a show, don't you?" Kiba chuckled and put out his finger. "I'm coming back." He said as he got out of the bed and went to the living room.

Kankuro breathed deeply. He didn't know what Kiba had in mind and it somehow scared him a bit. Everything had always been very pleasurable and sweet, but tonight it was quite different. Kiba was more eager. He was too. He knew he could say yes to a lot of things, but what if Kiba wanted to... What if he wanted to go all the way? He wasn't sure he was able to do that. Now at least.

He stopped thinking when Kiba got back with something in his hands. The young man didn't seem as confident as he was before. Kankuro loved it. He loved how Kiba was every time he wanted to show him something new. Kiba was always very dominant at first and after he was just a young man blushing, hoping he wasn't going to hurt the man he loved.

The man he loved.

Kankuro smiled at the thought.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Kiba asked.

"I'm happy." Kankuro replied and offered a hand to Kiba to make him go back to bed. "So, what do you have for me?"

"Well, I... I have that." Kiba showed him a little bottle.

"What is this... Oh! Oh. Lube, right." Kankuro was as red as Kiba now.

"Is it okay for you?"

Kankuro closed his eyes a moment. The only time they had done a thing like this, it didn't end well. But Kiba didn't bring any condoms with him.

"Where... What about... Condoms?" Kankuro asked, trying to not let his voice tremble.

"Condoms? I... I didn't bring them because it wasn't what I had in mind. I just wanted to show you something new and I didn't think you might want it... Now. I have some in my bag if..."

"No." Kankuro interrupted him. "It's okay like this."

"Okay..." Kiba sat next to Kankuro and leaned to kiss him.

The strong tension there was before was now tender and loving. They kissed almost shyly for a few minutes, Kiba's arms around Kankuro's neck and Kankuro's hand on Kiba's back.

Slowly, Kiba pushed Kankuro on the mattress again, settling between his legs. His lips moved away from Kankuro's and went to his neck, sucking on the flesh and biting it. Kankuro was moaning in his ear again, he could feel him getting hard again, against his own cock. One of his hands stroked Kankuro's ass before sliding his fingers toward the orifice. Kankuro shivered and gripped the sheets. Last time it had been enjoyable, but now Kankuro knew it was going to be more than that. When a fingertip started circling against it, he moaned loudly, encouraging Kiba to do more.

"You sure I can do it?" Kiba asked, kissing his neck.

"Kiba, if you don't, I kill you."

Kiba smiled and put his hand away to grab the lube. He put a good amount on his fingers before returning against Kankuro's hole. "If it hurts, tell me."

"You know I... Aaaah... Will... Hnn..." Kankuro tensed up a bit.

He didn't know if it was just weird or deeply pleasurable. It was a lot of emotions and sensations he had to deal with and he didn't know how to do it. But Kiba was gentle and circling inside him slowly and all of a sudden, Kankuro cried out.

"I think I found it." Kiba smiled, rubbing against the spot again.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck... Kiba, what the... Fuck!"

"Want me to stop?"

"No? Yes? Fuck, it's so...So good, I don't know how... Just a moment..." Kankuro breathed. "Just go slow..."

When the finger touched his prostate again, Kankuro bit his lips hard. If he didn't, he was going to be too loud. And even though his flat was well isolated, he didn't want to take the risk of everyone in the building hearing him.

"Don't hold back your voice. I need to know when you're feeling good... And I love hearing you..." Kiba licked his lips sensually as he touched Kankuro's prostate again that made Kankuro moaned loudly. "Yes, just like that sweetheart..."

A second fingers went inside him and Kankuro hissed in pain. It wasn't unbearable, but clearly, he was a lot tighter than he thought. Kiba has stopped the second he had heard Kankuro's pain and he kissed Kankuro on the lips, making him forget about anything else. His tongue slid inside Kankuro's mouth, making him sigh in bliss. He moved his fingers slowly again, hitting the prostate every time.

Kankuro was just a mess now. He was moving with Kiba's fingers, wanting to feel more. It felt so good, he had the sensation he could come without stimulation on his cock. And a part of him wanting Kiba inside of him. To feel his thick hotness buried inside him. To see how Kiba would lose control.

"Kiba, fuck... God, there... Please, more..." Kankuro begged, his orgasm near.

Delicately, Kiba added a third finger. He didn't think he was going to be able to put that much in, or than Kankuro would enjoy it so much. He was so sensitive. His whole body was shaking in pleasure and Kiba had to restrain himself to not make love to Kankuro right now.

"You're so fucking beautiful like this, Kankuro... Let me hear how you come on my fingers, Sweetheart..."

Kankuro looked at him intensely. The incessant attack on his sweet spot, Kiba's voice, the way he looked at him as if he was the most precious person in the world. Then he closed his eyes and let the pleasure take over.

"God, yes... Fuck... Fuck... Hnn! Kiba... Aaaah!" Kankuro screamed as he emptied himself on his stomach, panting heavily.

Kiba kissed him several times, still moving slowly inside Kankuro.

"Stop, Kiba, it's... Too much... You sadist..." Kankuro whispered, trying to catch his breath, pulling Kiba's fingers out of him.

"You love it when I tease you." Kiba smiled, kissing Kankuro's cheek.

"Brat."

"Old man."

Kankuro smiled and kissed Kiba once again. He could still feel how the young man was hard. He took the member in his hand and stroked it slowly. He heard Kiba's groan in his ear and bit his lips. He loved this sound. He loved how Kiba's fingers were digging into his flesh under the pleasure.

He pushed Kiba on his back against the mattress, settling between his legs, still stroking him. His other hand brushed Kiba's faced and the young man kissed Kankuro's fingers and lapped them, closing his eyes.

"I love seeing you like this." Kankuro whispered as he was hypnotized by Kiba's tongue.

Usually, after Kiba had taken care of him, Kankuro touched him quick until he comes. It was never long, it was... Not what he wanted. He didn't want to be the only one having some mind blowing times.

Kiba opened his eyes and smiled, only to took one of Kankuro's fingers in his mouth, mimicking a blow job. Kankuro swallowed hard and he could feel his cock reacting to the view.. "I can feel how you like it, Sweetheart... You really are a pervert. All hard again just because I licked your fingers."

"Shut up, brat." Kankuro stopped his movements, just to tease his lover. "Or I leave you like that."

"Oh, so you're the one in charge now? I got to say, I really like it when you're like this too" Kiba gave him a lewd smile. "What are you going to do to me?" The young man asked, falsely innocent.

Kankuro didn't respond and started stroking Kiba again. He pulled Kiba's hair forcefully and smiled when Kiba gasped in pleasure. "I'm going to make you come so hard, you will just be able to scream my name." He kissed Kiba hard on the mouth, sliding his tongue inside, groaning in the kiss.

Kiba was already unable to think, unable to talk. Everything he felt was so good. How Kankuro was touching him, kissing him, teasing him.

"Kan... Kankuro! Fuck! Hnn..." Kiba moaned as Kankuro sucked the sensitive flesh of his stomach, too close of his hard member that was pulsing in his lover's hand.

Kankuro gave him a lewd look and his tongue was now licking Kiba's groin.

The young man could feel his lover's breath against his cock. Kiba bit his hand. He wanted it on his dick, he wanted to feel Kankuro's throat around him. One of his hands wandered in Kankuro's hair, encouraging him to do what he wanted.

It was a strange thing to have Kiba's cock so close to his face. He loved how Kiba was losing his mind over it. He loved the taste of his skin in his mouth, how his pubic hair tinkled his cheek. He loved the sound of Kiba's cock getting wetter and knowing he was so close to release himself in his hand.

Fuck, he wanted him in his mouth. Fuck being afraid of doing something wrong or weird or dirty. It wasn't disgusting. He wanted it. He knew Kiba wanted it too. So fuck everything else.

Tentatively, he put his lips on the tip of Kiba's cock. It was a bit salty, not as he thought it would be. He kissed it wetly several times before opening his mouth and taking the hard cock in it slowly. It was hot and pulsing. He tried to remember how Kiba had done it for him and what made him on edge. He played with his tongue and went up and down slowly.

"Kankuro... Kan... Kuro... Fuck, yes... Hnnn, Kankuro, faster, please, faster..." Kiba begged, thrusting gently into his lover's mouth without realizing it. "Fuck, yes..."

Kankuro held Kiba's hips down. It was too much for him to have Kiba this far in his mouth. He dried the tears that had fallen from his eyes and sucked him faster.

"Hnn... I'm... Coming... Kankuro... Aaaaah!" Kiba cried out as his seed invaded Kankuro' mouth.

He didn't think about this part. How the hell Kiba liked it? It was viscous, a bit bitter, not pleasant at all. He got up and ran to the bathroom to spit it out. He rinsed his mouth several times to make the taste go away.

Two arms hugged him from behind. "I'm sorry... You really made me forget everything, I didn't... Fuck, I'm sorry..."

Feeling the young man trembling like this, he couldn't be mad. He wasn't. He sighed and took Kiba in his arm, kissing his hair. "I don't know if I should be flattered or not. Next time, just tell me clearly when it's too intense. Seriously, how could you drink it, it's... Weird and... Not good at all!"

"Well, I've... Never done it differently actually..." Kiba confessed, his heart aching a bit at the memory.

"What do you mean?"

"I... It's nothing. I just know it's not very pleasant, the first times. I'm okay with it now."

"I don't want you to be okay with it. I want you to do it because you want to and you like it. Did you force yourself when you did it with me?" Kankuro frowned. He was cold now. Did he do something that awful to Kiba?

"No! No, I did it because I truly like it! When I swallowed it, with you it's... It's the most exciting thing I've ever done."

"We will not do it again."

"Kankuro, don't..."

"I don't want you to do it again, period." Kankuro put an end to the conversation and went back to bed without a word.

He didn't face Kiba when he felt the young man lying down next to him. He couldn't stop thinking about what Kiba had said. He was no better than his father. He was a fucking monster. He should have known one way or the other. He should have felt it. He was so used to Kiba taking care of him, being patient, that he had never thought once how the young man was feeling about it.

All Kankuro knew, was that Kiba had a lot of sex before, with a lot of different people. He didn't care about that. It was before they were together and he had been very clear about the fact he wasn't going to share him. Kiba had laughed and had said that he would never want to sleep with anybody else. And Kankuro had been so happy, it never occurred to him that maybe Kiba had also lived some twisted shit too.

He was now crying silently. He hated this feeling. He really was a fucking piece of shit.

"Kankuro, are you mad?"

The older man couldn't reply. If he did, Kiba would understand that he was crying and he will just hug him and tell him how it wasn't his fault and how perfect he was and how much he cared about him. He didn't deserve it.

"Kankuro, please..." Kiba sighed and put a hand on Kankuro's shoulder. "Why are you crying? Please, just face me. Sweetheart, please, I don't want you to face what you're feeling alone."

But Kankuro didn't move. He hadn't the strength to do it.

"You did nothing wrong. It happened a long time ago and I'm okay with it. I never saw the guy again and I dealt with it. I didn't ever force myself once again after that. The only time I did it were the times when I wanted to do it. And with you... Kankuro I want everything with you... So please, look at me..."

Once his tears dried, Kankuro slowly turned to face Kiba who was smiling gently at him. "Why are you always so nice to me?"

"Because I don't want you to torture yourself. You did it too much. And also... Because I love you." Kiba smiled and caressed Kankuro's cheek.

Kankuro didn't know how to react. What he was feeling... He leaned and kissed Kiba with a new passion. "I want to fucking kill the fucker." He growled once their lips parted. "It wasn't your fault, you know that?"

"Yes. And you did nothing wrong, you know that?"

Kankuro smiled and soon enough, he was moaning in Kiba's mouth, letting his urges took control over him.

When they broke the kiss, Kiba was breathless and his smile was wide. "I want you to kiss me like this all the fucking time."

"Brat." Kankuro chuckled and took Kiba's lips again, kissing him wetly, closing the distance between their bodies.

"I can feel that someone is up for another round." Kiba said, his hand on Kankuro's semi erect cock. "Should I take care of that?"

"Fuck, yes."

*'*

Naruto closed the door and collapsed on his couch. It had been a hell of a ride and he hoped that he will able to sleep tonight.

 _Will I ever had an answer?_

Sasuke. Fuck, he had forgotten about him again.

He sighed. He couldn't keep going like this. He had to grow up.

 _ **Are you free Monday night? I have to talk to you.**_

Naruto knew he was being unfairly evasive and that Sasuke certainly was stressing out. Who wouldn't. "We need to talk" was never a good sentence.

 _Yes._

 _ **Okay. My place, 7. Is it good for you?**_

 _Yes._

Naruto sighed. He didn't want to feel down. Then Gaara's smile appeared in his mind and he felt lighter all of a sudden.

He was going to have him at his side again. Friend, lover, he didn't care.

 _ **So, is Temari a demon already?**_

*'*

 _ **You can't imagine how much of a pain she is**_.

Gaara smiled as he texted Naruto back. He never thought it would have been so easy to forget about his anger. But it was Naruto. He couldn't stay mad at him. He never could.

 _How was your day? Are you tired?_

Gaara felt strangely guilty as he read Lee's text and couldn't understand why. Naruto was now definitely back in his life, but as a friend. Nothing more.

And what were he and Lee was? They had kissed, they still flirted, but he had no idea where it was going. Were they going somewhere?

Maybe he was thinking too much.

 _If you give her a smile, she will stop complaining._

"Why are you smiling? Lee is texting you? I heard you guys kissed." Temari teased him.

"Who told you? Gaara asked. He didn't even tell Kiba about it.

"Not the right answer. So, is he your boyfriend?"

"Temari."

"Come on, tell me!"

Gaara gave her a small smile and Naruto was right. She stopped talking and asking questions.

 _ **Thanks for the tip.**_

 _Always here to help you :)_

They texted until Gaara couldn't open his eyes anymore.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading :)**

 **See you soon!**


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